A Promise Broken
by ncsupnatfan
Summary: This is set in S5, E3, Free To Be You And Me. The brothers are separated, living their own lives. Sam is working at a bar in Garber, OK and is attacked by hunters who learn what he did. Sam is beaten and tortured and almost dies. Can Dean bring him back and aid in his recovery? Hurt/Sam Grief Stricken/ Dean Angst/Suspense/ Drama
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello my fellow readers and welcome to a new journey. I hope you are ready for bumpy roads because this one has it. There is some Canon from the show but I needed it to create this story. I hope you will give it a chance and come along for the ride. As always I love to know your thoughts and hope you will leave me a review. NC**

 **Chapter 1**

The machete swung swiftly through the air with enough force to separate the vampire's head from his body. The hunter stepped back as the body slid down the trunk of the Impala and to the ground. He was breathing hard as the adrenaline raced through his veins from the kill. Knowing he couldn't hang around here for long, he pulled the headless body to the side and found the head to toss on top. After sprinkling gas over it, he tossed a book of matches on the body setting it on fire. While it burned, he took a bucket and filled it with water tossing it on the trunk lid to rinse away the blood. He repeated the process until any trace of the vampire's blood was washed away. He kicked at the smothering body to be sure the fire was dying out and would not spread before going to the driver's door and getting in to drive away. He looked over to the empty seat beside him and pressed his lips into a tight, hard line pushing away the thoughts of the one that used to sit there. He couldn't help the feeling of emptiness and hollowness deep down in his soul, but tried to push those thoughts away as his chest tightened. It seemed like everywhere he looked there was a reminder of what was missing from his life. He didn't think he would feel whole again. He was alone, on his own now and had to accept it.

 **spn**

Hundreds of miles away, the bus boy flopped a suds soaked rag onto the bar and began to scrub the length of it in long hard strokes. He didn't pay any attention to the others in the bar as he put all his focus on being sure he washed down every inch of the surface of the bar before they opened for the night. He had been working at the business for several weeks now, keeping his head down and doing what was asked of him from dishes, trash, mopping, cleaning and cooking. The work wasn't easy, but he didn't complain about any of it. It was honest work and he made enough to pay for the motel room he was staying in. He got free food at the bar so that cut down on his expenses. He would pause for a moment and stare at the doors of the bar as if expecting someone to walk through them, but they never did. The ache in his heart was never going to heal and he accepted the pain and tried to move on. With a soft, sad sigh he would get back to his work not noticing how the waitress studied him and wondered what his story was. He appeared out of no where one day and asked about the Help Wanted sign in the window. The owner gave him a once over and hired him on the spot letting him know the pay wasn't good but he could have free food. With a handshake, he had a job and the start of another life.

 **spn**

The driver of the Impala stared out the windshield as he made his way toward another hunt. He looked over to the empty passenger seat that had been used by his brother because they were a team; they did the jobs together until he sided with a demon and got hooked on demon blood. This choice he made led him to opening the door to the Cage and unleashed Lucifer onto the world. He had tried to stop him, but was too late to stop him. Saved by an unknown source, they end up on a plane, flying over where the Cage opened. With Lucifer free in the world, he called upon the Four Horsemen to help in his battle. They encounter ' _War_ ' in a small town where he turned the town folks against each other by making it seem like everyone was possessed by a demon. The brothers stop him by cutting off his ring and afterwards, the youngest parted company with his older sibling when he realizes he couldn't hunt anymore. He needed to stay away from demon blood and he knew how his brother really felt about him. It just about broke the youngest one when his older sibling stated that he couldn't trust him anymore, that things would never be the same between them. With no argument from his brother, they went their separate ways and now one still hunted and the other buses tables in a bar.

 **spn**

Sam was shocked when three hunters he knew through his father walked into the bar and call him by his real name. He brushed it off as a middle name when the waitress questions it.

"Hey guys why don't I buy you a beer?" Sam asked wanting to keep his identity hidden.

"Sure, sorry about that." Tim said looking to the waitress who eyed them with puzzlement.

"Got a call from Bobby to check out a town north of here for demon activity." he says quietly. "He said you were off limits. Is that true?"

"Yeah, I stopped hunting." Sam told him.

"Are you sure, you know we could use all the help we can get."

"Seriously guys, I just don't do that anymore."

"Well all the more for us." Steve grunted holding up his beer and clinking it with the two other hunters.

"Be careful out there." Sam told them before getting up to go bus the tables.

"See ya later Sam, I mean Keith." Paul calls to him with a smirk.

Sam looked back at them and doesn't like the feeling he gets from the hunters. He had never hunted with any of them, but he knew his Dad had worked with two of them once or twice. He sighed when the hunters finished their beers and got up to leave eyeing Sam for a moment before strolling out the door. He was glad they were gone and hoped they didn't come back. Sam wondered if he should pack up and move on to another town and disappear.

"Friends of yours?" the waitress, Mandy, asked watching the last one leave and the door close.

"Sort of, they knew my father." he shrugged gathering up the beer bottles and wiping down the table.

"You know, you are a strange one Keith or is it Sam. You appear out of nowhere, you're highly educated if you can do the New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink and you don't talk about yourself. You've been here nearly a month and all I really know about you is your name." she stated looking at him curiously.

"I like to keep to myself." Sam mumbled before heading to the back to dump the empty bottles into the recycle bin.

"So what brings you here to this small town?" Mandy asked following him and watching him move the bins around. She arched her eyebrows as she saw his muscles ripple under his tee shirt, thinking he was one hot dude.

"It's where my ride was going and I saw the sign for 'Help Wanted' in the window and came in to see if it had been filled."

"Have you got any family?" she inquired, hoping to get a little information about him.

"A brother...But we're not exactly on speaking terms right now." Sam replied sadness lacing his words.

"That must be hard. What's say I play you a game of darts and when I win you answer any question I ask you?" she teased picking up the darts from the counter and looking at him with mischief in her eyes.

"And what would I get if I win?" Sam asked accepting the darts she held out to him.

"I buy you dinner." Mandy said.

Sam moved in front of the board and looked at it carefully. He rolled the dart between his fingers to get the feel for it and the balance. Taking a slow breath in, he tossed one dart hitting the bull's eye and followed that by the other two, hitting right beside the first. Sam turned to see a bewildered and surprised look on her face as she looked at the board and then back at Sam.

"I guess I owe you dinner." she finally said not sure what to make of this handsome, buff, quiet guy.

Sam dropped his head and smiled shyly to himself knowing he had played enough pool and darts over the years to be very proficient at both games. He didn't mind having dinner with her, but that's as far as it would go. He wasn't looking for anything romantic in his life right now. He just wanted to do his job and not draw any unwanted attention his way. He thought back to the dreams he had been having of Jess and wondered what brought them on. He had not thought about her for a long time and was puzzled why she was in his dreams now. His mind drifted to his brother and Sam wondered what Dean was doing and if he was staying safe. He knew Dean would be hunting because it was in his blood. It was what he knew and he was one of the best.

 **spn**

The next night Sam was left to close up and was cleaning the tables when hear the door open for the bar.

"Hey man, sorry we're closed." Sam called not looking up at first.

"Something you wanna tell me Sam?" Tim questioned angrily as he stepped closer to Sam.

Sam quickly turned toward him seeing the blood and cuts on his face. "Tim?" he asked. "What's going on? Where are the others?"

"Oh you see, we went to that town and found the demons alright. Steve's laying in a ditch with his guts hanging out. We took one down and ten jumped us. But you know what's funny, the demon we caught, he started talking about you."

"Demons lie." Sam said quickly as he stilled himself and got ready to fight if he had to.

"Said there's a war coming and you started it by freeing Lucifer."

"Look it was a mistake...I was tricked..." Sam tried to explain as Tim bore down on him.

"Said you were one of the chosen ones since you've got demon blood running through your veins. He says you drink it like water and it makes you strong. Is that true Sammy?"

"It's Sam and he lied."

"If that's true, then you wouldn't want some of this now would you?" he asked holding up a vial with demon blood. "What say you juice up and we go kill us some demons?"

"Stay away from me!" Sam demanded when he saw what was in Tim's hand. "I'm not drinking that."

"Oh I think you'll whatever I tell you...Paul!" Tim said looking back for a moment as Paul came through the door dragging Mandy with him. He has a knife to her throat as she cried out and tried to pull away from him.

"Leave her alone." Sam growls seeing how frightened she looked. "Just let her go and we can sit down and talk about it. No need to hurt her."

"Paul..." Tim nods signaling him to handcuff her to the bar.

Paul did as Tim wanted and came to stand beside Tim as they face off with Sam. Sam backed away and into the pool table where he reached behind him and picked up a cue to quickly punch Paul in the stomach. Tim throws a blow at Sam, knocking him back but before he can recover, Paul is on him dragging him down. They get Sam over the pool table and force his mouth open to pour the demon blood into it and clamp it shut. Sam breaks free and faces them as they wait for something to happen. Instead, Sam spits the blood into Tim's face and starts throwing punches. He almost had them beat until another hunter they had called showed up and hit Sam on the back of the head, knocking him out. He lay in the floor as the three hunters stood over him.

"Well if he's not playing on our side, then he needs to be punished for what he did. I lost my best friend because of him." Tim insisted. "Help me get him up."

 **spn**

The three men drug Sam from the bar and into the back alley where no one would see them or try to stop them. Even dazed, Sam knows something is happening to him and did his best to fight back but there were too many and he was weakened from the blow to the head. His body is slammed against the wall and punches began to rain down on him from all directions.

"You're worse than the monsters we hunt. Hell, are you even human?" one yelled into Sam's ear as he punched him again.

Sam cried out in pain when something hard was smashed into his leg making it go numb and buckle. Not being able to hold himself up when he was let go, he slipped down the wall to crumble to the ground. Before he could recover, kicks landed all over his body and the only thing he could do was try to curl up to protect himself. He felt bones breaking as the blows continued what seemed like an eternity to Sam. He was barely conscious as they cursed and screamed at him.

"You're a blood sucking vampire you sorry sonovabitch!"

"You know you deserve every blow we're giving you Sammy and even worse for what you did."

"Hell even your brother wants nothing to do with you. Does he think you're evil too? Is that why he left you? He couldn't stand the sight of you? I'm surprised he didn't take you out himself."

The words barely penetrated Sam's mind as he processed the insults and accusations thrown at him knowing deep down they were right. He un-leased Lucifer on an unsuspecting world and he needed to pay for that. Everything went black and Sam lost consciousness when one of the guys landed a hard blow to his head, causing blood to coat the side of his face. Sam doesn't feel it when his body is jerked up against the wooden wall and his arms are spread out from his body forming a 'T'. The last punishment they inflict on him was to use two metal spikes and drive them through the palms of his hands, nailing him to the wall; leaving him hanging, bloody, beaten, broken and near death.

"This is for what happened to Steve." Tim delivers one more hard punch to Sam's face before stepping back and hurrying away with the others when sirens were heard in the distant. They disappeared into the night, not caring what condition Sam was in, whether he was alive or dead, thinking he deserved the beating for what he had unleashed onto the world.

 **spn**

Mandy watched fearfully as Keith/Sam fought for his life, but was no match for the three hunters. He did get in some strong blows, but once he took the hit to the head, he was fighting a losing battle. She watched them drag him from the bar fearing what was going to happen to him and wondering if they would come back for her. She jerked on the hand cuff but knew it wasn't coming free. Mandy didn't understand what was going on or what they were talking about. She couldn't comprehend what they were accusing him of doing, but only knew they were going to kill him if they continued to assault him.

She looked around for anything to use to help get her free but only saw a small knife and knew it wouldn't do her any good. There would be no one here until morning and she didn't think Keith/Sam had that much time. Mandy slipped off her shoes and sat them up on the bar before climbing on top and slipping over to the other side. She worked the cuff as far as it would go down the metal bar that was connected to the bar top. She stretched as far as she could but was still inches away from reaching the phone. Mandy grabbed a shoe and used it to knock the phone off the hook. With a relieved sob, she stretched her foot as far as she could to grab the cord and get the phone. She quickly dialed 911 and waited for someone to answer.

Mandy quickly relayed her location and the information about Keith/Sam to a dispatcher and begged them to hurry. She said a small prayer as she thought the worse for Keith/Sam and wiped the tears from her face as she listened for the cops. She picked the small knife back up and held it tightly wanting to protect herself if these monsters came back in the bar before the cops got here. It wasn't much, but she didn't feel as helpless with it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for the support and response for this story. It means so much to me. You, my readers, are why I keep creating my stories for your entertainment. This story will focus mainly on the brothers and the after effects of what happened to Sam and how it effects both of them. I haven't written the ending yet because I wanted to see if you, the readers, thought it was worth reading. Reviews are always welcome because they give me insight for my story. Enough from me... Enjoy the read. NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Dean was coming out of a diner when his cell began to ring. He paused long enough to pull it from his jacket and answer it.

"H'llo." he grunted as he dug his keys from his jeans.

"Dean?" a gruff, male voice asked.

"Hey Bobby, what's going on?" Dean asked knowing he didn't usually call him unless there was trouble or he needed help on a hunt.

"Where are you son?" Bobby asked slowly an underlying tone to his voice that Dean hadn't heard before.

"Just north of Springfield, Illinois, why what's going on?" Dean asked frowning as he listened to him talk. Something was wrong and it was like Bobby was having a hard time telling him about it.

"You need to get to Tulsa, Oklahoma as fast as you can."

"Bobby what is it?" Dean asked an edge of fear in his voice as a chill went up his spine.

"Sam's been hurt...Bad, real bad. He was air lifted to the Trauma Center there. I just got the message a couple hours ago since I was finishing up a hunt and had my cell off. I'm a couple hours away. I'm heading that way now and you need to do the same."

"Hurt? Whadda ya mean hurt? Hell, he's not even hunting anymore you know that." he said in frustration not understand how he could be hurt unless it was an accident of some kind.

"I'll meet you there...And Dean, son, sounds like we better hurry." Bobby cautioned him with that undertone of meaning behind his words.

Dean didn't move for a moment as he slowly lowered his cell and tried to make sense of what Bobby had told him. He was confused as to how Sam would be hurt unless something came after him. Without further thought on the matter, Dean hurried to the Impala and got behind the wheel. He headed out to the main road and toward the interstate knowing that was the quickest way to get to Tulsa. He gripped the steering wheel tightly and clenched his jaw until it ached fearing the worse.

 **spn**

The Trauma Center loomed ahead of Dean as he looked for signs for the entrance and visitor parking. It was already getting dark and the first lot had plenty of spaces to choose from. He parked as close to the entrance as he could and got out heading for the bright lights of the large facility. Dean paused when he stepped into the building to let his eyes adjust to the lighting. He looked around for the information desk and stopped at it near the elevators off to the right.

"Hello, may I help you?" an elderly woman asked when he halted in front of the desk looking lost.

"I'm looking for my brother; he was brought here within the past twenty-four hours I guess. He was airlifted here."

"Name please?"

"Sam Winchester." Dean told her not knowing if that was the name he was using or not.

Before she could pull it up on the computer and answer him, one of the elevator doors opened and Bobby walked out catching sight of him.

"Dean." he called walking toward him.

"Never mind." Dean said and hurried to meet Bobby. "Bobby what's going on? Where's Sam?"

"He's in ICU on the fourth floor." Bobby replied. "Son, I ain't gonna lie to you. You just need to prepare yourself, he's in bad shape...Worse than I thought he'd be...He's still unconscious..." he warned his voice trailing off because he couldn't put into words Sam's condition.

"What happened to him? Was he in an accident?" he questioned the older hunter and father figure.

"From what the doctors told me, he was badly beaten and left for dead. They brought him here from Garber because of the seriousness of his injuries."

"Beaten? By who? Damn Bobby that kid doesn't have a mean bone in him." Dean spat madly trying to figure out who would dare do that to his brother. He stepped onto the elevator with Bobby as his anger began to build.

"I tried to call the police there, but no one could tell me anything. They did give me the name of the person who found Sam and called them. She was a waitress at the bar where Sam worked, her name is Mandy."

"Has he woken up at all?"

"I don't think so. They'll only let you stay a few minutes Dean. Just remember what I said." he cautioned. Bobby hit a buzzer by a set of double doors and waited for a nurse to let them in. "We're here to see Sam Campbell, this is his brother. He just got here."

"Alright but you can't stay long and visiting hours will be up in fifteen minutes." the nurse told them allowing them into ICU giving them a sympathy smile. "If you need anything, let me know." She led them to room five and stepped back to the nurse's station.

Dean could hear the sounds of equipment beeping coming from all the rooms around him. The atmosphere was different in here, more solemn, quiet, and looming. It was like this was their last hope of recovering or their last resting place to die. He stood in the doorway for a few seconds willing his body to move into the room. The lights were dim for the patient's comfort, so Dean couldn't see that well until he moved closer to the bed with all the machines positioned around it. He sucked in a hard breath when he saw what lay on the bed. His stomach churned painfully and it was all he could do to control the urge to throw up. He felt a flush rising up his body, as nausea swept over him and the bile rose in his throat, burning the back of it and determined to come out. He tried to swallow it down, but couldn't do it and clamped a hand over his mouth before stumbling into the bathroom in the room. Dean fell to the side of the commode and choked out the bitter bile and whatever else was in his stomach. He spit and heaved again, feeling his insides twist with pain as he tried to catch his breath while tears streamed down his face blurring his vision.

"Easy son, just breathe..." a familiar, gruff male voice spoke softly to him as a hand was placed on his neck squeezing gently.

Dean coughed hard before a broken sob escaped his lips as he reached for toilet paper to wipe his nose and mouth. He spit again and accepted a plastic cup of water that was pushed into his hand. He tried to sip the water but only succeeded in starting dry heaves. His stomach muscles tightened with each retch until he couldn't pull any air into his lungs. Black spots danced in front of his eyes as his body swayed hazardously before Bobby gripped him tightly and eased him back onto his butt.

"Stay with me Dean!" Bobby growled at him slapping his face lightly to try and get his attention. "Your brother's lying in that room, in that bed and he needs you. I don't care what the hell your problems are between the two of you, but right now...Right now that boy needs us to be strong for him. He's clinging to life by mere threads and we need to give him a reason to want to continue doing that."

Dean shook uncontrollably under Bobby's hands, but he looked up into his desperate face and finally pulled in a shallow, wheezy breath. He drew in another and shook his head okay, as he struggled to get to his feet with Bobby's help. He stumbled to the sink and turned on the cold water to splash it in his face as he leaned over it. He sipped some from his cupped hand and rinsed his mouth spitting it back into the sink. Water dripped from his face as he finally got some much needed air into his lungs. Bobby pushed a hand towel into his hand and waited as Dean dried his face and got his emotions under control and locked back down. He stood and drew in a shaky breath as he cleared his raw throat and turned to head back into the room where his brother lay unconscious and fighting for his life.

 **spn**

If he didn't know that the battered body lying in the bed was his brother, he would not have recognized him. Dean started at the bottom and slowly let his gaze travel up Sam's body. He saw a cast on one leg and one arm. He had bandages covering his entire chest and where the skin could be seen was dark from bruising. There was an IV in one arm and a blood pressure cuff on the other. There was a chest drainage tube coming from under the sheet and going to a bag on the side of the bed. Dean could barely hear the hiss of oxygen coming from the line in his nose. When his eyes finally stopped on Sam's face he almost lost it again.

Dean grabbed for the bed rail to steady himself before trying to focus on his brother's pale face. His face was covered in bruises, steri strips and black stitches. One eye was swollen shut, dark bruising ringed the other, his lips were split and cracked, a laceration near his hairline and on his cheek had been stitched and his nose had been broken. There was a grey pallor to his skin that glistened in a light coat of sweat.

"Sammy...What happened to you?" Dean whispered raising his hand to touch Sam's face, but stopped just shy of it, afraid that he might cause him more pain than he was already in. He was finding it hard to breathe as his chest ached from the grief and sorrow and helplessness he was feeling. He blamed himself for this happening to Sam. He had let him walk away and didn't say a word to stop him. Guilt ate at his soul, dimming its brightness as he tried to be strong.

"Why don't you sit down 'fore ya fall down?" Bobby suggested pulling a chair closer to the bed and guiding Dean into it. He moved the other chair closer to Dean but gave him space to be with his brother.

Dean started to pick up Sam's right hand when he noticed the bandages wrapped around it and looked to the other to see the same. He gently rubbed his fingers finding them cold to the touch and adjusted the sheet covering his body and pulled the blanket at the bottom of the bed up higher over Sam. He studied the equipment surrounding the bed and watched the erratic heart beat make its way across the screen. Dean read the numbers off for his blood pressure and O2 levels and some other readings, thinking they were not good.

"Sammy, I'm here bro..." he whispered to him, his voice cracking as he tried to stop the sob that wanted to come out. He closed his eyes and bowed his head letting a single tear escape from them and track down his cheek to fall onto Sam's fingers. He couldn't think, he couldn't feel, he couldn't breath as he opened his eyes back up hoping this was a dream, but it was a nightmare. The only way he knew Sam was alive was he could see his chest barely rising and falling as he drew in shallow breaths.

 **spn**

Dean had not moved from his spot by Sam's bed when twenty minutes later a nurse came in to check Sam's vitals. She took a chart and jotted down the readings and checked his IV, drainage tube and peeled back the tape holding the pads in place to check his wounds and surgical incision.

"I'm sorry but you'll have to leave now." she said gently to Dean who had watched her like a hawk as she checked Sam. "You can come back in the morning at nine to see your brother."

"What time does the doctor come around?" Bobby asked getting up from his seat.

"Usually between seven-thirty and eight."

"Will you leave a message we'd like to talk to him about the boy's condition?" Bobby asked politely. "We'll be in the waiting room so he can find us."

"Of course I'd be happy to." she said making a note on the chart.

"This is my number if anything was to happen, anything, call me." he said handing her a slip of paper.

"I'll put it under his emergency contact information since we don't have one listed."

Dean heard her words and stiffened with their meaning as he pressed his lips together in a thin line forcing himself not to speak. He hung his head in shame knowing he had let his brother down and the promises he had made to him so long ago were broken. He had not watched out for him, kept him safe, protected him...He had not been there to stop this from happening.

"Dean, we need to leave now." Bobby whispered, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Son, we can see him again tomorrow and we'll talk to the doctor." He waited for a moment, but when he didn't move, he spoke again. "Dean, we've got to go so this nice nurse doesn't get upset." he said a little firmer and gripped Dean's arm to get him to rise from the chair.

"I'll be back Sammy..." he mumbled, leaning over and kissing his forehead and letting his own rest against Sam's for a moment before straightening up and allowing Bobby to lead him out of the room.

"Is there a waiting area up here?"

"Yeah, just down there."

"I'll stay there then. I'm not leaving him."

"Why don't we get a motel room for the night? One of the nurses said there's one below the hospital where most families stay. It'll be more comfortable probably than the waiting room."

"You go ahead, I need to be here. I let him walk away and didn't stop him; I'm not leaving him again."

"If you're staying so am I." he stated. "Why don't I go see about finding us a cup of coffee?"

"Sounds good." Dean said opening the door for the waiting room and finding a couple of people in there. He found a couch away from the others and slumped down on it, his whole body numb. Confusion rolled around in his head as he tried to figure out why someone would do that to Sam. There was only one other person who knew what Sam had done when he released Lucifer and he knew Bobby would never tell anyone about that. It didn't make sense to him, but he was going to find out what happened and someone was going to pay dearly. No one did that to his brother and got away with it, **no one**. He rubbed a trembling hand over his tired face as everything began to catch up with him, the long drive, no sleep, no food and the stress and guilt of seeing his brother like this was pushing him to the brink. It wouldn't take much to push him over the edge and he didn't know if he could pull himself back without his little brother. His hasty decisions of the past might destroy any future they might have. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was the battered, broken, beaten body of his little brother laying lifeless on the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Dean's eyes sprang open when someone touched his arm and he sat up quickly starting to reach for a weapon.

"Easy boy, Doc should be coming around soon, thought we should be awake." Bobby told him grabbing his hand before it could find the weapon, not wanting to disturb the others in the waiting room.

"I'm fine." Dean nodded rubbing his eyes for a moment and looking around. He accepted the cup of coffee Bobby offered him and opened the tab to try a sip. The bitter liquid hit his empty stomach like acid and recoiled for a moment until Dean swallowed hard and forced it to settle. Before he could try another sip someone stepped into the room.

"Family of Sam Campbell." he asked looking around the room and stopping on Bobby and Dean.

"Yes." Dean said quickly getting up and moving toward him with Bobby at his side.

"If you'll come with me, we have a consultation room we can use for privacy." he said holding the door for them. He led them a couple of doors down and opened the door to a small room with a desk and three chairs sitting around it. Dean and Bobby took two of the seats and looked expectantly at the man as he took a seat.

"I'm Dr. Harold, Mr. Campbell's doctor."

"Dean, I'm Sam's brother and Bobby's our...adopted father." Dean introduced them and set forward in his seat as he asked the important question. "How's Sam doing doc?"

Dr. Harold let out a slow breath and straightened the file he had in front of him before looking back up to answer the question.

"Give it to me straight doc, don't sugar coat it. What's going on with my brother?" Dean stated firmly never one to beat around the bush when it came to something like this. He wanted it straight out and honest so he would know how to proceed.

"They stabilized Mr. Campbell before airlifting him here to the trauma unit. He was in very bad shape when he got here, barely clinging to life." the doctor explained, pausing for a moment to let what he said sink in before continuing. "He was rushed to surgery where we did our best to repair all his injuries. We lost him twice on the table, but was able to revive him. We set his arm and leg, removed his spleen, stopped the internal bleeding, stitched his lacerations and wrapped his chest for cracked and broken ribs. I had to put in a chest tube to keep the fluid from building in his lungs. I hope that can be removed in a few days, but we'll have to wait and see. He may have limited use of his hands, we'll have to wait until they heal, but what worries me the most is the head trauma he received. We had to relieve the pressure on his brain to stop the swelling. We really won't know what damage has been done until he wakes up...If he wakes up." Dr. Harold explained to them looking from one to the other. "I'm sorry I don't have better news for you, but it's too early to say right now. He's stable but still in critical condition. We're monitoring him closely for further swelling or bleeding on the brain. If he does wake up you could be looking at impaired motor skills such as slurred speech, or he might have to learn to do everything all over again, talking, walking, feeding himself and dressing himself. He may have memory loss, minor or major, so don't be surprised if he might not remember things. The injury to the brain may start mood swings or seizures. The brain is a tricky organ that can do miraculous things when trying to heal itself. It might rewire itself to compensate for damage. The worse case we're looking at is such severe brain damage that he might never gain consciousness. The one good sign is he's breathing on his own. I know this is a lot to throw at you at one time, but I wanted you to be prepared and if you have any questions that the nurses can't answer, you can have them page me. I will be checking back in on him this afternoon and I've scheduled another MRI for his head this afternoon to be sure that the damage has not spread further or any new problems have occurred. "

The more the doctor talked, the paler Dean became and the harder it was for him to breath. It was like the walls were closing in on him and everything seemed distance and hollow sounding. Time stood still and nothing else mattered at the moment but getting to Sam and being with him.

"What happened to his hands?" Bobby asked curious to how they were injured since the police didn't elaborate on his injuries.

"From the reports we received from the other hospital, seems he was nailed to a wooden wall and left hanging there. They don't know how long but his hands took a lot of stress and strain holding his body up. The nerve damage could be extensive and then again we need to wait for him to regain consciousness to know for sure"

"Awe hell..." Bobby muttered. He wanted to talk to the cops in Garber more than ever now. "Thank you doc, is there anything else we can do for him?" Bobby asked when he saw the devastated look on Dean's face and the paleness of his skin.

"Pray." the doctor said getting up. "You can use the room as long as you need. I'm sorry there's not better news."

"Doc, would it be possible for Dean to stay with his brother? If anyone can pull him out of this it's him. I've seen them both on the brink of death and bring each other back. I don't think you can keep him from his brother anyway. He won't get in the way of the nurses I promise. It might be our only hope to save the boy." Bobby pleaded with the doctor.

"It's worth a try; I'll inform the nurses and get him a pass for the door and to be there past visiting hours. It'll be at the nurse's station for you." Dr. Harold nodded his understanding their need to be with the young man. If he hadn't been for Sam's serious condition he would not have approved of it. He stepped from the room leaving the two men alone to digest what had been told to them.

 **spn**

Bobby turned back to Dean who hadn't moved since the doctor gave them the information on Sam. It seemed Dean had gotten smaller and had shrunk in on himself as his hands lay loosely in his lap. He stared off into space, his eyes glazed and empty.

"Alright Dean, we know the worse case scenarios, but like to doc said they won't know anything until Sam wakes up; we've got to make him want to do that, ya hear me boy?" Bobby said getting down into Dean's face to get his attention.

It took several minutes before Dean was able to focus on Bobby's face. His lips parted like he was going to say something, but nothing came out. He blinked away the tears in his eyes and clenched them together instead as he drew in a ragged breath and squared his shoulders. He didn't say anything to Bobby as he pushed himself up and stood there for a moment to let the dizziness pass and headed for the ICU wanting to see his brother. He buzzed at the door and waited impatiently for a nurse to let him in.

"Visiting hours doesn't start for another thirty minutes." the nurse told him.

"I need to see my brother now so please get out of my way or I'll move you out of the way." Dean stated firmly as he stared her down showing he wasn't backing down.

"Callie its okay, the doctor approved him going in." one of the other nurses said as she walked toward them. "You need to wear this while you're here and it will let you through the door if you pass it over the pad." she instructed Dean holding out a badge attached to a lanyard.

"Thanks." Dean mumbled taking the offering and draping it around his neck before stepping past the nurses looking in each room for his brother. It looked like he had been moved from his previous room to another.

"He's in room seven." Callie called to Dean as he advanced down the row of doors.

The nurse gave Bobby a pass too and explained how it worked and let him go on in too. Bobby walked down to Sam's room and stepped inside to see Dean had pulled a chair up toward the head of Sam's bed and had the railing down so he could get closer to him. He had Sam's bandaged hand in his own and was stroking the fingers ever so gently as he studied Sam's bruised and swollen face. Dean's face was void of any emotions concerning his brother and Bobby knew that was not a good thing.

"Will you be okay for a while?" Bobby asked. "I need to make some phone calls."

"We'll be fine." Dean whispered, not taking his eyes off of Sam. He took a damp cloth and carefully wiped Sam's face as he mumbled quietly to him.

Without further words, Bobby stepped out and headed out of ICU to find a quiet place to make some calls. He knew the first time he saw Sam that he had been beaten up by someone, not some thing. Humans did this to him and he was going to find out who and why.

 **spn**

With his head bowed, Dean began to speak quietly under his breath, "Cas if you can hear me I need your help. I'm at Tulsa Trauma Center in Okalahoma, Sam's been hurt bad..."

"Dean?" Castiel asked as a soft disturbance in the air nearby let Dean know he had heard him.

"Cas..." Dean said turning his head to look at him. "Can you help him? Please?" he begged desperation in his voice.

"What happened to him?" Cas asked as he stepped to the bed and looked Sam over. He laid a hand on Sam's forehead and cocked his head as he tried to access his injuries. "Dean, when I chose to ally with you instead of the angels, I was cut off from Heaven and some of my powers. I can still do some minor things but I can not heal like I used to. He's needs a stronger angel than me to assist him."

"Anything Cas...He's got to have a chance. I can't lose him, not this way, we have..." he started but couldn't finish.

Castiel looked down at the young man that was like a brother to him, lying lifeless in the bed. He could feel the sadness, stress and grief coming off Dean and knew he had to do something to help Sam.

"There might be a something..."

"Anything Cas, the doctors...they're not holding out much hope for Sammy...What do you need?"

"A syringe." Cas said taking off his trench coat and suit jacket.

Dean got up and started looking in the cabinets and drawers for a syringe. He finally found one and pulled a couple out in case he needed more.

"Found one, what now?"

"I need you to extract some of my grace into the syringe." Castiel stated leaning his head back for access to the front of his neck and holding his angel weapon out for Dean to use.

"Say what?" Dean asked in surprise that stopped him in his tracks in shock looking from the angel blade to Cas and back. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, my grace can help heal his body and it should not harm him since it will be a low dose, but it might not be able to completely heal Sam, but maybe help enough that his own body can take over then."

"I don't know about this Cas...What if I like...Injure you or something?"

"You won't, I trust you Dean. You can do this for your brother."

Dean went to the door and checked the nurses before closing it and pulling the curtain for privacy. He didn't want anyone walking in on him while he was doing this. He stepped to Cas after removing the syringe from its wrapping and opening an alcohol wipe.

"Alright how do I do this?" he asked steadying his hands as best he could.

"You have to find the small indention right above the bone." Cas instructed holding his finger on the spot so Dean could see.

"Got it, now what?" he asked placing a finger on either side of the spot Cas showed him and swiped the wipe over the area to clean it.

"Very carefully nick my skin and insert the needle in until it stops, but don't force it and then draw out some of my grace. I'd say a couple of CC's will do to begin with. Sam is weak and we don't want to stress his body out."

"You're sure about this Cas?" he asked readying the blade right above Cas's neck.

"Yes, go ahead, just the amount I said. We will start slow and see how he tolerates it and next time increase it a CC."

"And you're sure this will help?"

"I don't know, but I have no other answers." Cas told him honestly.

"Alright Cas, let's do this." Dean huffed not knowing any other options to help Sam.

Dean took his blade and focused on the area he needed to nick so he could insert the needle. Once he had a small wound, he tossed the blade to the bed and pushed the needle into Cas's skin feeling a little resistance so he pushed a little hard and then stopped. Carefully holding the syringe in place, he pulled on the plunder and drew out the pure white/silver, glowing, swirling grace. He stopped when the syringe had a couple of CC's in the tube and slowly removed the needle. Castiel ran a finger over the area, sealing the skin to stop further grace from escaping. He accepted his angel blade back from Dean and slid it in place. Dean looked down at the grace and swore it seemed to be alive as it moved around in the syringe tube.

"Now you need to inject it into Sam in the same spot as where you took my from." Castiel told him.

Dean opened another wipe and wiped Sam's neck in the same spot before placing a finger on either side of it, pressing the skin tight. After taking in a deep breath, Dean pushed the needle into Sam's neck and injected the grace into him. Once he was done, he discarded the needle, wiped the spot of a small speck of blood and then went to the door, opening it just as a nurse started to come in. He quickly stepped back allowing her entrance and tried not to look guilty of doing anything.

* * *

 **A/N: So we know the extend of Sam's injuries now. Dean has his work cut out for him, but he's not giving up hope. What's Sam going to do when and if he does come to? Thank you to any guests who left me reviews and to all the silent readers. I do like to know your thoughts, please review. NC**

 **Side Note: I have co-authored a story with another writer, DSCWin called A Hunter's Vacation about two female hunters who end up in the same place and find a hunt. One is my creation Lark and the other is her creation, Christina who is also the sister to Dean and Sam. Check it out and see what you think. I am letting her post the story and know she would love to have you read it. NC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The nurse looked at Dean for a moment, slightly puzzled at his appearance at the door and stepped on into the room looking around for anything out of place.

"Is everything okay sir?" she asked glancing around the room.

"Yes, it's fine." Dean said seeing that Cas was either gone or invisible. He watched her check Sam's vitals, the IV drip and other equipment before looking under the pads on his chest. "How is he?"

"No change since last time sir."

"It's Dean...Not sir."

"Well, Dean, there's no change so he hasn't declined since yesterday. He's still stable at the moment; the next twenty-four hours will tell us more. He is scheduled for another MRI scan this afternoon to check his head injury."

"Thank you Valerie." he responded reading her name tag to get her name.

"Would you like something to drink? We have coffee or sodas or water."

"A coffee would be great." he replied trying to give her a slight smile for her kindness.

"I'll bring you a cup, how to you take it?"

"Black is good." he said sitting back down but not before glancing around the room for Castiel. He picked Sam's hand back up and thought his fingers seemed slightly warmer now. He didn't know how long the grace would take to work, if it did or how he could tell. He looked toward the door and saw Valerie was back with a cup of coffee for him. "Thanks."

"If you need anything else let me know. I'll be working days for the next three days." she told him giving him a warm smile before leaving.

"Good to know."

 **spn**

It was nearly an hour later that Bobby came back into the room with a sour and angry look on his face that had Dean sitting up and taking notice.

"Bobby what's going on?" Dean asked.

"I talked to the cops in Garber where Sam was living at." Bobby started. "Told them I was FBI working the case to get them to talk."

"And? Bobby what aren't you telling me?" Dean questioned a harshness to his voice now.

"This was done to Sam by hunters Dean."

Dean looked back down at Sam as a sudden rage began to build inside of him. His face became flushed with anger as what Bobby had said really sunk in. There was no controlling the boiling rage that devoured his inner soul and left him wanting to take his pound of flesh from the attackers, along with their lives. No one had the right to do this to another human being. Darkness flashed in his eyes as his face took on a solemn, neutral expression that only hunters would recognize as a deadly foe you didn't mess with.

"Bobby you stay with Sam." he said handing him the cup of coffee and walking from the room not listening to Bobby calling to him to come back.

"Dean, Dean son, wait!" Bobby called out but it didn't stop him. "Damn fool idjit...Ain't no talking to him when he gets like this...Sam I hope yer brother ain't thinkin' of doin' somethin' stupid..."

 **spn**

Dean went out into the hall to the elevator and left the ICU heading outside to the Impala. Dean armed himself with what he would need before praying to Cas. "Cas I need your help. You around man?"

"Yes Dean? I was nearby in case you needed me." Cas stated as he appeared beside him almost as soon as he spoke.

"I need you to take me to Garber, Okalahoma now." he growled grabbing his arm and readying himself for the strange sensation of traveling with an angel gave him. When he opened his eyes, they were standing in an alley in Garber.

"Why are we here?" he asked looking around for anything out of place.

"This is where Sam was at when he was attacked. I need to talk to the witness who called the cops. She worked in the bar with Sammy." he stated, heading down the alley toward the main street with only one thing on his mind. Cas couldn't do much but follow him as he hurried to catch up. He could see darkness in his soul and was suddenly shut off from seeing more. He was worried about Dean and what he might do.

 **spn**

The bar was mostly empty when Dean and Cas walked into it and looked around. He spotted a waitress and headed her way to stop her before she went into the back.

"Are you Mandy?" Dean asked her.

"Yes, can I help you?" she asked turning to look at the two men.

"The cops said you found my brother in the alley behind the bar..." Dean started but was interrupted by Mandy.

"Oh yes Keith, I did, it was awful. He was such a gentle person; why someone would do that to him..." she said with pity in her voice. "How is he doing?"

"Not good, but he's stable right now. Tell me what happened."

"Well he was working in the bar several nights ago and these three men came in and called him Sam and they acted like they knew him. He bought them beers and it seemed like they wanted him to go with them but he refused and they left. The next night the bar had closed and I was leaving when they grabbed me and confronted Keith, Sam...I'm not sure what to call him. They threatened me and Keith talked them down, but they jumped him and forced him to drink something, but he broke away and spit it out. Everyone was talking about weird stuff, demons, Lucifer, the Apocalypse, like I said weird stuff. I didn't really understand most of it, but they were really pissed at your brother, blaming him and all. There was another one I hadn't seen before that knocked him out and they drug him outside. I was cuffed to the bar and finally managed to work my way over it but it took me a while before I could get the phone off the wall and call for help. We found him in the alley...His hands...They were nailed to the wall. He was beaten so badly I thought he was dead." she recounted as tears slipped from her eyes. She turned and wiped them away before turning back to them.

"Do you remember any names of the guys?"

"Let me think..." she said frowning as she thought hard. "I think the leader was called Tim and I'm sure one was Steve, but I don't know the other two." she finally said. "Does that help?"

"Yeah, thanks." Dean said turning to walk away.

"Wait...Would you call me and let me know how he's doing?" she asked scribbling quickly on a pad and tearing off the page to give to him. "I called the hospital but they wouldn't tell me anything and I haven't had time off to try to go see him."

"Okay, I'll call if anything changes. I wouldn't make the trip yet, he's in ICU and they're only allowing family in to see him right now." he said shoving it into his jacket pocket and leaving. He wouldn't be calling her, not that he was being mean or anything, but as soon as Sam was stable, he was taking him home away from all this and make sure he got whatever he needed to heal.

 **spn**

"Do you know who she was talking about?" Cas asked Dean when they got outside.

"Yeah I do. They hunted with Dad a couple of times. Never did like them then and I sure as hell don't like them now." Dean spat angrily. He walked down the side of the bar to the back where yellow police tape was still in place. He stopped and stared at the spot on the wall where a trail of blood and nail holes could be seen. "Cas can you track these guys for me? This bastard Tim used to hang out at a hick bar called the Yellow Rose in north Texas. I figure the others are still probably with him or close by."

Cas stared at the wall and looked around the area for a moment before disappearing. Dean stood alone in the alley and couldn't help but see his brother fighting for his life, one against three. This would never have happened if he had been here; if he hadn't pushed Sam out of his life...Dean's thoughts were interrupted when Cas appeared beside him and grasped his arm taking him with him. Dean stumbled slightly and looked around to find he was behind a building in a different town.

"One is in there drinking." Cas said.

"Think you can go Invisible Man and bring him out here?" he asked knowing he couldn't confront him inside.

"Of course." Cas said walking away and going around to the front of the bar to go inside.

He didn't have to wait long before Cas walked back toward him with a man in tow. He held him up for Dean to see.

"What should I do with him?" Cas asked glaring at the man who tried to talk but could only grunt since he couldn't speak. "Do you want me to kill him?" he asked getting a panicked whine from the guy as he shook his head frantically no.

"Take us some where private." Dean stated in a strong and lethal voice that made the man tremble in fear.

 **spn**

With the blink of an eye, the three materialized in an abandoned warehouse, away from anyone that might interfere with what Dean was going to do. The man looked around with wide, frightened eyes not understanding how they got here or why.

"You can let him go now Cas." Dean told him as he walked a couple of steps from the man before pulling out his gun and shooting him in the leg.

"Oh god!" the man screamed as he fell to the floor crying out in pain and clutching his leg as blood began to run between his fingers. "Who are you?" he cried out. "Why are you doing this to me? I have friends who won't..." he tried to continue but Dean interrupted him tired of hearing he talk.

"I'm your worse nightmare you f-g sonovabitch. That kid you beat up and left crucified to a wall...That was my little brother...You might of heard of me, name's Dean Winchester."

The man blanched when he realized who was standing over him with a loaded gun and began to stammer. He could feel the wetness and warmth on his legs as he peed on himself knowing he should never have gone with Tim and hurt the kid like they did.

"I-I-I'm sorry...It was all Tim's doing...He-he ju-just told me he had to pay for what he did...Please...Please..." he cried out in despair holding his bloody hands up in defeat as he lay on the hard, dirty floor. "Don't kill me...Please..." he begged seeing death staring at him from Dean's eyes.

"Where is he?" Dean asked cocking the gun and pointing it at his other leg. "You got three more limbs and then I'll start with other things." he said letting the aim of the gun come to rest on his crotch.

"He'll kill me if I tell..."

"Cas, get it from him." Dean ordered ignoring the man's pleas. He didn't want to waste time on him and wanted to get back to Sam and knew Cas could get the information they needed.

Castiel stepped to the man and jerked his body up and gripped his head as he searched for the information they needed. He was none too gentle with him knowing what he had done to Sam. The man withered and groaned painfully under his search until the angel released him.

"I have it. The other two are in the same place." he announced.

"Good." Dean replied putting his gun away making the man think he was safe. He stepped behind him and before the man could react, positioned his hands and quickly broke his neck, smiling when he heard the crunching sound it made. He let the limp body fall to the ground and looked down at him with no feelings of remorse about killing him. No one hurt his little brother and got away with it; not while he was breathing. He might not have kept his promise made so long ago, but he was sure as hell going to take his revenge on those who almost killed Sam. He could have made him suffer more, but right now he wanted the ring leader, Tim.

"Can you get rid of this trash?" Dean asked Cas. "And then let's go pay those other two douche bags a visit."

"With pleasure." Cas said snapping his fingers and making the body disappear where it would never be found. He laid a hand on Dean's arm and transported them to where the other two dead men walking were hold up.

* * *

 **A/N: So Dean is taking his revenge, one down and two to go. Will the angel grace work? And for those who asked since Sam has demon blood how would the angel grace work. The way I see it angel trumps demon, so the grace will overpower the blood. Thank you to any guests who left reviews and hope everyone is enjoying the story and will leave me a review. NC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Dean looked around when they appeared outside a rundown motel that was much worse than what he remembered staying at with his Dad and brother when he was younger. He had upgraded their accommodations over the years and chose clean, small, usually family run places when he could find them. He did a quick survey and didn't see anyone that would cause them problems.

"We go in and you get us all out of there." Dean instructed him as he watched the door to their room. "Some place remote and where we won't be disturbed."

"I understand." Castiel replied ready to back Dean up.

Dean led the way to the door and with one swift kick, broke it open and barged in knocking the first guy to the floor with a swift punch. Castiel raised his hand and pinned the other to the wall waiting on Dean's say. He jerked the guy from the floor and drug him over to Cas.

"Do it." Dean growled gripping the man tightly as Cas did the same with the other one. He put his hand on Cas's shoulder and they disappeared from the room and re-appeared in a forest hundreds of miles away from any civilization where screams or help would be long coming. The two men were thrown to the ground and Dean walked slowly around them staring death daggers at their prone bodies. "Hello Tim, it's been a long time." he said slowly and deliberately.

"Oh shit..." the other one gasped when he realized who was standing over them. "You said he wouldn't care you bastard." he yelled at Tim before turning his gaze back on Dean's dark face. "Look, I was just along for the ride, didn't mean any offense to you..."

"You know what your brother did Dean. He deserved it. I'm surprised you didn't put him down yourself." Tim spat at him, digging his heels and hands into the rotten leaves and dirt as he tried to push backwards away from him.

"What my brother didn't deserve was being beaten within an inch of his life and left hanging on a god damn wall. He may have done some bad things, but I think we all fall into that boat don't we Tim?" he asked eyeing the hunter because he knew what Tim was deep down; he was a cold blooded killer who showed no mercy and didn't care if he took out innocent lives to kill a monster.

"Doesn't matter, he doomed the world..." Tim started but was cut off when Dean slammed a fist into his face several times making blood gush from his nose and lips.

"He never deserved what you did to him you sonovabitch!" Dean screamed loudly as he stomped madly about drawing in deep breaths. "Cas, take that one and drop him on a deserted island with no food, no water and far enough away that he won't stand a chance of survival. Let him suffer the way my brother suffered..."

"As you wish." Cas replied gripping the screaming man's arm and disappearing.

"You gonna kill me?" Tim asked only to get glared at from Dean. "Then just do it! Someone's gonna take your blood sucking brother out and you know it."

"Oh you're gonna die alright, again and again, that much is certain, but not by my hand." Dean told him as he smiled a smile that never came close to reaching his eyes. "Ever thought about what'd it be like to be sliced and diced every day for eternity? To know you'll never die and the torture will just keep going on and on?" Dean asked sneering at him. "You'll never be able to really die as your guts are ripped from your body or your eyes are cut out and your heart is still beating as it's torn from your body. And your mind can't take the continuous regeneration of your body 'cause you know the torture is going to start all over again. You wouldn't believe how clever a demon can be when he enjoys his work." he said, grinning maliciously at Tim as his eyes flashed something that made Tim's blood run cold.

"Y're c'zy." Tim slurred spitting blood from his mouth, along with a few teeth.

"It is done." Cas announced appearing in the clearing again.

"Cas can you dial up a reaper for me?" Dean asked never taking his eyes off of Tim.

"What? What're ya talkin' 'bout?" Tim yelled looking from Dean to Castiel. "What is he?"

"I can and with pleasure." Cas agreed snapping his fingers. An older man dressed in a black suit appeared in the clearing and turned to look at them with disgust.

"No! No! You can't do that. Dean, you know me! You don't kill humans!"

"Well Tim...I don't consider you human and I'm not actually killing you. You're as much a monster as those I hunt and kill, so I don't see any difference in the matter."

"Take his soul to Hell." Cas commanded the reaper.

The reaper looked to the bloody guy on the ground and back to the angel.

"He appears to be still alive." the reaper noted with displeasure.

"Figure he doesn't have to be dead to go to hell now does he?" Dean shrugged looking at the reaper as he looked down at Tim. "But if you want me to remedy that..." he said taking out his gun and cocking it.

"It has been done before, it can be done again." Cas butted in not wanting Dean to have any more blood on his hands.

"I suppose not." he answered reaching down for Tim's soul and ripping it from his body to carry it to hell as commanded.

Dean stared off into the forest for a minute trying to calm his rage now that he had taken care of these assholes. He wanted to let the rage out and not take it back with him. Sam didn't need that. He took in a couple of cleansing breaths before finally speaking again. "Take me back to Sammy." he said slowly and deliberately.

"As you wish." Cas said softly laying a hand on Dean's shoulder and taking them back to the hospital. He could see the hatred and rage and violence was gone from him now and was glad. He didn't like to see him like that and hoped it would be a long time before that Dean came back.

 **spn**

Dean walked out of the bathroom in Sam's room startling Bobby who was sitting by Sam's bed waiting on their return.

"Damn boy, give me a heart attack why don't ya?" Bobby growled at him as he clutched his chest dramatically.

"Sorry Bobby. How is he?" Dean asked stopping at Sam's bedside and looking him over not seeing any change. He was still as pale as the sheets that he lay on and his breathing still seemed labored and raspy. Dean studied the readings on the screens beside the bed, thinking they hadn't changed much and might have gotten worse. He had hoped to see some change since giving Sam the grace but maybe it took more time.

"There's not been any change. Where ya been son?" Bobby asked cautiously.

"Taking care of business." he said sitting back down beside the bed and not elaborating any further.

"Cas, good to see you." Bobby greeted him as he stepped from the bathroom too eyeing the angel knowing all too well what Dean meant. If he got a chance, he'd question Cas about what happened and be sure there were no loose ends to tie up.

"Hello Bobby." Cas said.

"You can go an' get somethin' to eat and stretch your legs if you want. I'm good." Dean told him picking up Sam's hand again feeling how cool it seemed. He adjusted Sam's covers over his body and studied Sam's face.

"Should I bring ya somethin' back?" Bobby asked getting a sense he wanted to be alone with Sam. When he didn't answer, Bobby mumbled his own answer. "Sure Bobby, thanks for thinking of me." he mumbled sarcastically as he left the room.

"Cas how will we know if the grace booster is working?" Dean questioned once Bobby had left.

Cas moved to the bed and laid a hand on Sam's forehead and let his senses reach out into Sam as he scanned his body. "He is healing, but slowly. Since he is showing no ill effects, we can give him another shot tomorrow. But Dean...You have to understand, my grace is healing Sam's body, his broken bones, lacerations, and bruising, but it can do nothing to heal his mind. That he will have to do on his own I'm afraid and there still might be complications that the grace won't help."

"He won't be alone, I'll be here for him no matter what and we'll get through whatever happens together." Dean said solemnly. "Yeah, we'll do the grace thing tomorrow as long as you're sure it's helping him." he agreed. "You might as well have a seat Cas, I don't plan on going anywhere."

"Very well." he said moving to sit in an empty chair.

"Just make yourself invisible if a nurse comes in. You don't have a badge."

"I'm not sure I understand..." Cas started a confused look on his face.

"It's fine." he said giving his full attention back to Sam. "I'm back Sammy and I got them." he whispered to his brother. "They won't be able to hurt you or anyone else ever again. Listen man, you gotta wake up and prove these doctors wrong. Cas says your body's healing with his grace so we're going to give you some more tomorrow." Dean whispered softly, but being an angel, Cas could hear his words quite clearly. He remained still and quiet letting Dean continue talking. "We've got some things to sort out Sammy and I can't do that unless you wake up. You hear me? You fight, you fight with every cell in your body!" he hissed passionately. "You're tough and strong and you can't let this stop you..." Dean bowed his head as he blinked away the tears filling his eyes and brought Sam's hand to his cheek to gently rub it against his face wanting so badly for Sam to do it himself.

Castiel tried not to ease drop on Dean, but couldn't help but hear. He could feel Dean's anguish and despair and guilt and wished he could have been of more help with Sam. He quickly cloaked himself when a nurse came into the room to check on Sam. He watched Dean quickly sit back and lay Sam's hand down on the sheet to be out of the way as he watched her every move. His body was tense and ready to spring into action if needed. No one was hurting his brother on his watch if he could help it.

"Hello Dean, how are you today?" Callie asked giving him a sweet smile.

"Hi Callie, about the same, how's he doing?" Dean asked letting a brief smile cross his lips for a moment with her kindness and letting some of the tension drain from his body as he relaxed.

"He seems to be a little stronger today and I'm happy to see his lacerations are already healing. I'd say the stitches can come out early, maybe even this afternoon. This is a good thing, hopefully that means he's turning the corner."

Dean looked to the chair that Cas was sitting in giving a thankful nod. He watched Callie continue checking everything before making notes in the chart.

"They'll be a nurse coming around later to give Sam a sponge bath." she told Dean.

"Hey if you bring me the stuff I can do it. Hell, I've been giving him a bath since he was born." Dean said.

"Are you sure?"

"I think Sammy would prefer me doing it." Dean said knowing how Sam was with things like that. "It'll give me something to do."

"Alright, if you wanna come with me I'll get you everything you need." she offered.

"Lead the way my lady." Dean said giving her a brief bow before following her out the door. He stopped at the supply closet with Callie and waited as she gathered towels, washcloth, clean gown, basin, dry shampoo, soap and lotion, stacking it in his arms. "Thanks, I'll get Sammy all cleaned up."

"If you need anything else or help you know where to find me." she said batting her eyes at him.

"I will." Dean answered heading back to the room. In any other circumstances, Dean would have checked Callie out, but right now all his thoughts were on Sam. "Oh Callie, I know he's unconscious, but can he have a few ice chips to keep his mouth moist? Will it hurt him?"

"As long as you only give him a very small amount so he doesn't get choked. I'll get you a cup and spoon." she offered.

 **spn**

Dean stepped back into the room with the supplies and sat them on the rolling tray by Sam's bed. He took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves getting ready to bath Sam.

"Cas if you don't wanna hang around its all good." Dean said seeing Cas back in the chair.

"I don't mind staying; I could even clean Sam for you?"

"No, I want to do it the old fashion way." Dean said. "But you can take the basin and fill it with hot water, but no too hot."

"Alright, I can do that." Cas said getting up and taking the basin to the bathroom.

Dean pulled the sheet down and saw Sam was naked under the sheet since he had in a catheter and grabbed a large towel to cover him before Cas came back into the room for modesty's sake. He lowered the bed to where Sam was almost flat and dropped the washcloth into the water Cas sat on the tray. He rung most of it out and began with Sam's face, gently wiping his eyes to get the crud from the corners. He was careful around his stitches and steri strips, seeing a few were already coming loose and carefully peeled them off. He wiped around his nose and patted his chapped lips with the wet cloth. "Bet this feels good Sammy..." he mumbled. Dean dunked the cloth and rung it out again before wiping around his neck and down his arm to the cast. He took another towel to dry as he went so Sam wouldn't get cold. Dean continued to clean Sam's body and had Cas help turn Sam to finish washing his back. He read the instructions for the dry shampoo and sprayed it into Sam's hair. Dean was careful combing it not wanting to cause him further pain around his head injuries. He sent Cas to sneak some clean sheets to change his bed. He made a mental note to ask about the chest tube and if it could come out soon when he saw the doctor again. He checked under the pads and saw Callie was right, Sam's wounds were healing quickly. Cas gently and easily scooped Sam up in his arms and Dean quickly stripped the bed and put on a clean sheet so Sam could be laid back down. He straightened it around his still body and squirted some lotion onto his hand to rub carefully down Sam's arm that didn't have a cast on it dodging the bandages. He did half the other arm and worked his way down Sam's body. He slipped Sam's arms into the gown and adjusted it around his body before covering him with a sheet. He stopped when there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." Dean said looking to the empty chair as he said it.

"I thought you could use these for your brother." she said holding out a bag containing small pre-moistened sponges on a stick to wipe Sam's lips and moisten his mouth. "And here's the ice chips."

"Thanks I can." he said accepting them from her. Dean took one out and wiped it over Sam's cracked lips and pulled his mouth open to moisten the inside of it and run it over his teeth to clean them as best he could. He tossed it in the trash when he was done and thought Sam looked better now. He picked up the cup and spoon and scooped a couple of chips onto it and carefully slipped it between Sam's slightly parted lips. He watched his brother closely for signs of choking as he waited before giving him a few more. Some water leaked from his mouth and some went down his throat. Dean saw the muscles in Sam's throat move a little like he was swallowing and hoped that was a good sign. He didn't want to over do it and stopped for now.

"Got ya something to eat." Bobby said coming in the room carrying a bag and drink.

"Thanks Bobby, let me clean up first." Dean said gathering up the dirty towels and taking the basin into the bathroom to dump it. He left it in there and took the towels to the supply room to leave in the dirty clothes hamper. He headed back to the room knowing he needed to eat if he was going to take care of Sam and that was what he planned on doing whatever that entailed.

 **spn**

The rest of the day went by with without incident. Dean remained by Sam's side talking quietly to him and rubbing his arm or wiping his face with a damp cloth. He barely registered Bobby's comings and goings as his whole focus was on his brother. Dean sat where he could see the monitors on the equipment and kept a close watch on them for any changes that might tell him Sam was trying to wake up. He watched the nurses like a hawk every time they came in to check on Sam. If anyone he didn't know came in Dean questioned who they were and what they wanted, looming over them until Bobby fussed at him to behave. He was as protective toward Sam as a mama bear was for her cubs. No one was hurting Sam again if he had anything to do with it. Dean watched the sun cross the sky and began to sink lower toward the horizon making the shadows long and the sky darker. He stood and walked to the window to look out and stretch his tired body before returning to the uncomfortable chair. Bobby didn't say anything as he watched the young hunter shuffle around the room. He wondered how much longer he was going to go before he collapsed but knew better than to say anything right now.

* * *

 **A/N: Dean has gotten his revenge and now he can focus completely on his brother. Thank you to all who have come along for the journey. Special thanks to any guests who left reviews. I appreciate them all. Reviews do make my day, if you have moment, please leave one. NC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Evening came and the hospital emptied and quieted as the three remained vigil by the bedside of the young hunter. Dean looked at his brother's face and thought it looked like there was a little color in it now. All the stitches had been removed, leaving behind thin, pale scars that decorated his body now. He looked to the monitor and watched the steady beat of his brother's heart move across the screen. If he didn't know better, he would have thought Sam was only sleeping instead of being in a coma.

"Bobby, why don't you go on to the motel and try to get some rest." Dean said seeing him moving around uncomfortably in the plastic chair and grunting under his breath.

"I can stay longer." he surmised.

"No, go, you're not as young as you used to be." Dean chided him trying not smirk.

"Who ya calling old dumb ass?" he growled at Dean giving him the look he reserved for when the boys really irritated him.

"No need both of us losing sleep."

"I can watch over Sam while you both rest." Castiel suggested getting a frown from both men.

"I'm not leaving my brother." Dean said quietly and strongly leaving no room for argument.

"Fine, visiting hours are almost over with anyway." Bobby sighed pushing himself up from the chair with a groan. "Legs going to sleep anyway, gonna move around." he grumbled more to himself than the others. "I'll see ya in the morning son, call me if you need me or anything changes."

"I will Bobby." Dean replied. He looked to the older hunter and could see the weariness in his stance and knew he was worried about Sam too. He took another moistened sponge and wiped Sam's lips and the inside of his mouth once again. He listened to the outside world quiet down around him and felt Sam's fingers thinking they seemed to be warmer since the first time he had touched him.

 **spn**

Castiel remained sitting quietly in the corner watching over both of them contemplating his role in all this. He had given up a lot of things to side with them and their cause. Now that he thought back over what had happened and how Lucifer was freed, he wondered how he could have been so blind to the deception and manipulation that was taking place around him. He was a good soldier and obeyed the orders given to him without question, but after being around these humans, he found it was not wrong to question authority or to rebel against an unjust cause. The angels wanted Heaven on Earth and the demons wanted Lucifer freed to take over the world. What neither side realized was how strong the brothers were and that they wouldn't bend to their will no matter how much they were pressured to do so. The older one went to Hell for his younger brother to give him life again. Now that he thinks about it, the Big Plan must have been in the works for a long time, long before he was ordered to retrieve the older brother from Hell. But the path the demons set for the younger one when he was at his lowest and all hope was gone was unspeakable. To get him addicted to demon blood and filling his head with exactly what he wanted to hear so he could seek out his revenge on Lilith for sending his brother to Hell showed just how cunning and evil demons could be. He looked back at the brothers and saw Dean had laid his head on the bed beside Sam's still body and could here soft sobs that slowly drifted from him. He could feel Dean's guilt laden soul as he tried to comfort and be strong for his brother.

 **spn**

"Dean, Dean..." Castiel spoke to him quietly as he laid a hand on his shoulder.

With the reflexes of a hunter, Dean was out of the chair and had Castiel pinned against the wall in a heartbeat. Once he saw there was no danger and realized what he was doing, holding Castiel against the wall with an arm across his neck, he let him go.

"Sorry Cas." he said clearing his throat and letting him go. "What is it?"

"You were crying out in your sleep. You were having a nightmare." Castiel said knowing Dean couldn't actually hurt him and didn't try to stop him when he attacked.

Dean faltered for a moment and drew in a breath, letting it out slowly as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Remnants of the dream still haunted his mind, but he pushed them aside and locked them away knowing he couldn't deal with them now. "I'm fine." he sighed looking to Sam in the dim light of the room.

"It's early; if you like we can do the grace injection while no one is here to bother us." Cas offered knowing the sooner it was done the sooner it could help with the healing process for Sam.

"Yeah, that's good." Dean said moving to the cabinet to get a syringe to do the extraction.

Castiel removed his jackets and opened the top buttons of his shirt and leaned his head back so Dean could extract his grace. He stilled himself as Dean stood in front of him and wiped his throat and found the spot again like the first time. He positioned the angel blade Cas gave him and nicked his neck. He took the needle and slipped it into the skin until it stopped. Very carefully he extracted the grace from Castiel and withdrew the needle letting him heal the small wound.

"Watch the door." Dean told him as he moved to the bed. He wiped Sam's throat and took care as he found the spot to insert the needle and injected the grace into Sam. He wiped the spot of the drop of blood that came out as he took the needle out. He leaned back up and looked at Sam's face but didn't see any change and went to dispose of the syringe in the red box on the wall.

"It will help Dean, have patience." Castiel said reading Dean's impatience.

"I'm trying." he muttered sitting back down in the chair. He saw light through the window and knew the shift change would be happening soon. He hoped Callie was working today, he liked her and how gentle she was with his brother. He used the last of the moist sponges to clean Sam's lips and mouth and made note to ask for more.

 **spn**

The next few days passed by slowly for the ones remaining vigil by Sam's bed. They fell into a routine of sorts to look after the young hunter. Dean rarely left Sam's side as he ministered what little he could for his brother. Twice more Dean drew grace from Castiel and injected it into Sam hoping for a miracle. He could see a little color coming back into Sam's face and the bruising was starting to disappear. His wounds were healing and his breathing seemed to be getting slightly better. Dean never told Bobby what he was doing for fear of reprisal at being so reckless. He just knew that if that was the only way to help Sam, he would do it. Bobby tried to get him to go to the motel and get some rest, but Dean wouldn't do it. He used Sam's bathroom and took quick showers and changed clothes as long as either Cas or Bobby stayed with Sam. He barely ate the food brought to him and craved a double shot of Jack to help him cope but knew that wouldn't look too good in the hospital.

Castiel kept a close watch on Sam and his progress, being sure the grace was not harming him in anyway. He could feel a deeper closeness to the young man now that he had his grace coursing through his veins. He became finely attuned to Sam and tried to help with the nightmares that were plaguing him but Sam had build a strong wall of protection around himself and Cas could not always find a way in. Cas kept watch over Dean also and tried to give him some peace to sleep though it was hard since he fought the attempts. He could see how guilt ridden Dean was, blaming himself for what had happened to Sam. No one was going to be able to help him but his brother and still Sam showed no signs of waking except for the occasional quick twitches of his arms and head and the movement of his eyes under his lids.

 **spn**

Dean looked toward the door when it opened and Callie walked in carrying a cup of coffee for him. Cas cloaked himself so she couldn't see him and interestedly watched her interaction with Dean. She was on her last day of a four day shift and had become a familiar face for them.

"Hello Dean and how is our patient today?" she asked handing him the coffee. "I thought you could use a cup of Joe."

"He's still hanging in there and I can." Dean said giving her brief smile as he watched her check Sam over and noted the vitals on Sam's chart. "How's he look?" he asked when she was done.

"His vitals are good and strong and I think if he continues making progress the doctor will have him moved to a room." she said finishing up. "I'd have to say that his body seems to be doing a good job of healing itself; now if he would only regain conscious I'd feel a lot better."

"If he's out of danger I'm gonna move him home soon." Dean stated with certainty.

"I'm sure they'll want him to gain consciousness first and see if he has any complications." she said trying to reason with him.

"I can handle any problems that come up. If he needs to see a doctor I'll take him to one there."

"You really need to talk to the doctor about this." she bristled slightly thinking he was making a hasty decision.

"I plan on it. Sammy needs to be home in familiar surrounds."

"Well the doctor should be around shortly. Have a good day." she said curtly before leaving.

"You think that is a good idea to move him Dean?" Castiel asked once the nurse was gone.

"Yes, he needs to be home. You can see his body is healing and his mind is something we need to tackle at home where we can access other options."

"Let's see how this last boost of grace does first Dean. We wouldn't want to cause further injury to Sam."

"I know." Dean huffed sitting back down.

"Maybe you should talk to Bobby?" Castiel suggested.

"Talk to Bobby about what?" Bobby asked coming in in time to catch Castiel's question and felt the tension in the room.

"It's nothing..." Dean started but Castiel interrupted him.

"Dean wants to move Sam home." Castiel told him before Dean could finish his sentence ratting him out. Dean glared at him for tattle telling to Bobby, but he should have known he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"Have you lost your mind?" Bobby asked in disbelief. "Sam's in no condition to be moved."

"He's getting better Bobby. He's healing and maybe he will do it faster at home." Dean countered.

"Son, I know you're only thinking of your brother's well being, but don't ya think it'd be better if we left him here until he wakes up?" Bobby asked gently seeing how close Dean was to breaking.

"You heard the doctor Bobby, he might not wake up." Dean spat back in anger and jumped suddenly when something touched his hand. He looked down where his hand had been holding Sam's hand and the fingers twitch again. "Sammy?" Dean urged picking up his hand and squeezing it to let him know he was there. "Can you hear me bro, I'm right here."

"Good morning everyone." Dr. Harold said stepping into the room and looking at the two standing by the bed.

"Doc, he moved his hand!" Dean said excitedly as he held Sam's hand and watched for it to move again.

"Well that is good news, but I wouldn't get my hopes too high. It could just be a random muscle spasm, so we need to be patient and keep watching him." he said reading over the chart before taking out his stethoscope to listen to Sam's heart and lungs. "I have to say someone must of heard your prayers; his body is healing at an incredibly fast rate."

"Doctor, I'd like to take Sam home since he's getting better and seems to be stable now." Dean said suddenly causing silence in the room.

"I'd advice against that Dean. Since Mr. Campbell hasn't woke up, we don't know what problems or complications there could be. It could be very dangerous for your brother. He needs to be where he can be monitored closely. The last MRI didn't show any further damage at least and that's a good thing, but there are still areas we can see that have been damaged. I'd prefer him to be in a hospital setting when he wakes, Dean there could be not only the physical issues but the mental problems too. I'm sure you've heard of PTSD and it doesn't just affect servicemen and women that have been in a combat situation. It can affect anyone who has had a traumatic event happen to them and what happened to Mr. Campbell could trigger serious mental health issues that we might need to deal with."

"I don't agree. I know how much Sam hates hospitals and I can take care of my brother. If he needs medical attention, I'll get that closer to home. I think you need to prepare the paperwork. I'm getting my brother out of here." Dean said stubbornly. "If he has issues we'll deal with them together and if he needs help I can't give him...I'll get that for him too."

"You can't do that..."

"Yes I can. I have medical and legal control for my brother if he's incapacitated, so I think I can."

"Dean..." Bobby started but saw the un-moveable look on his face. "Alright how 'bout a compromise Doc? We'll arrange transportation to a hospital in Sioux Falls since Sam seems to be stable now. That way he'll be near home and be under medical care."

"If there's no way I can talk you out of this...Then I will start the release paperwork to transfer him." he huffed seeing there was no changing Dean's mind. "But I want it noted it's against my orders."

"If you'll put together his medical records to take with us too."

"I'll let the nurses know."

"You hear that Sammy? I'm taking your home." Dean whispered to Sam after the doctor left. "I know you can do this. You keep fighting dude. You gotta come back to me. Cas look in that drawer and get me a clean gown and help me get it on Sammy."

Cas stood there a moment looking at Bobby waiting for him to say something. He didn't want to do something that he disagreed with. Bobby took his attention off Dean and looked to Castiel when he didn't move.

"Well what are you waiting for?" he growled. "A written invitation?"

Castiel did as Dean asked and found a gown to dress Sam in. He brought it over to Dean and helped him maneuver it onto Sam's body.

"I'll get in touch with an ambulance service for transport." Bobby said pulling out his cell and moving from the room to get things in motion but Dean stopped him.

"They only need to take him around the block and Cas can get us both home." Dean told him. "You can drive the Impala back and stop in Sioux Falls to pick up things we'll probably need."

"You sure about that?" Bobby asked. "Wouldn't it be safer to take him in an ambulance?"

"No, I want him home Bobby. Sammy's better, he's getting stronger. I know he can do this."

"If that's what you're damn set on then. You're as stubborn as yer Daddy was and as hard headed too." he grumbled madly and stepped into the hall.

"You're going home Sammy..." Dean whispered to his brother. He looked down at his hand and saw Sam's fingers tremble again like he had heard him giving him hope that he was hearing him.

* * *

 **A/N: Dean wants Sam home and is determined to get him there. Will he be able to find a way to get to Sam? Thank you to the guests who have left reviews, they are appreciated. I hope you are enjoying the journey and will leave me a review. They do warm my heart. NC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was an hour later that two EMTs made their way into Sam's room with a gurney. Dean looked up and stood ready to help with the transfer. A nurse had come in and removed everything but the IV and catheter to get him ready to be moved. She gave Dean several pages of instructions and things he needed to know about caring for his brother, along with his medical records. They positioned the gurney beside the hospital bed and laid the IV bag on Sam's stomach and switched the catheter bag to the gurney before grabbing the sheet at the top and bottom and shifted his limp body on to it. One strapped his body down while the other checked Sam's vitals and then pulled a sheet from under Sam's feet to cover his body.

"Are you riding with us?" the older EMT asked Dean as he stood nearby watching their every move.

"Yes." Dean said handing Bobby the keys to the Impala. He turned to Castiel and motioned him to follow them since he would need him to knock the EMTs out and erase their memory of them. No one else saw the angel since he was in stealth mode, invisible, as he walked down the hall close to Dean and out of the way of others.

"I'm having a hunter come by an' drive my car back so I'll see you when I see you." Bobby told Dean not liking this plan of his but knowing he couldn't change his mind about it. All he could do was be there for him to help and guide as best he could. He knew he had a long drive ahead of him, but planned on stopping halfway knowing he wasn't as young as he used to be. Plus he needed to pick up supplies once he got to Sioux Falls to get them through a week or so. Knowing Dean, he wasn't going to leave his brother's side once he got him home.

 **spn**

"Is this right?" the driver asked as he pulled into a parking lot a few blocks from the hospital. "You want us to stop here?"

"Cas, do your thing." Dean told him in a whisper.

Castiel moved to the first one in the back and touched his forehead, putting him to sleep. He reached between the partition and did the same to the driver, catching him before he fell forward on the horn. After leaning him against the side window, Castiel laid a hand on his head and erased the memory of picking Sam up.

"Grab the clipboard so I can take the pages from it. Don't need them thinking they lost a patient." Dean said positioning the other one in the corners out of the way.

"Here you go." Castiel replied passing it to him and then kneeling to erase the other's memories.

Dean unbuckled Sam and laid the IV bag on his chest and looked at the other line snaking out from under the sheet. "Mmmm...Cas...Can you take care of Sam's bodily functions so we won't need..." Dean asked looking down at the collection bag.

"I can." he answered moving beside Sam and laying a hand on his abdomen for several seconds before looking back at Dean. "Should I remove the tubing also?"

"Can you do that?"

"Of course." he said waving his hand and the bag disappeared.

"Let me wrap him good before we move him." Dean said pulling the sheet up around Sam's body and bundling him. "Can you carry him?"

"Yes, you'll need to grasp my arm to come with us." Castiel explained as he gently scooped Sam up in his arms like a child and waited for Dean to comply. Dean looked in the cabinets and boosted the IV bags and some extra syringes before clasping Castiel's arm and nodding to him. He bent his knees and when he blinked they were standing in the living room at Bobby's. Dean swallowed hard as he let the dizziness pass before giving orders.

"Let's get him upstairs and in the spare bedroom since the bed's bigger." Dean told him heading for the stairs carrying his absconded supplies. "Is he too heavy?"

"No, I am fine. I can handle much more than this."

"Good, I'll change the sheets right fast and open a window for some fresh air." he said laying down the supplies on a dresser. He went back out to the linen closet and pulled down clean sheets for the bed.

Cas stood out of his way holding Sam, waiting for him to finish his task. He watched Dean moving around quickly to strip the bed and replace the sheets. Sam felt light in his arms and he took the time to scan his body seeing his grace had almost healed his broken arm and leg and cracked ribs. He was glad that his suggestion was working, at least the body was healing, but he didn't know about his mind. That was something he knew his grace could not touch. They would have to wait until Sam woke up to know if there were other complications to deal with.

"Okay, lay him down." Dean said stepping back to allow Cas access to the side of the bed. "Easy now..." he warned not wanting to jostle Sam any more than they had to. He took the IV bag and hung it from a nail in the wall just above the bed and checked the line and flow. He removed the hospital sheet and pulled the sheet and blanket up over his body, tucking it in. "You're home now Sammy..." he whispered pulling a chair over to the bed so he could sit down beside him.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Castiel asked seeing Dean had settled down.

"You could get me some ice chips and spoon. I wanna see if Sam will take a little more again."

"I can do that." he said disappearing from the bedroom.

 **spn**

Dean looked his brother over and watched him for any movement that might be a sign he was waking. He saw his eyes move under his lids and his hands ball into fists for a moment and then release. This gave Dean hope that maybe Sam was trying to pull himself back to consciousness and took his hand, holding it gently in his own.

"I know you're in there Sammy. You fight this, you hear me, don't you go giving up on me. Now that you're home and with the help of Cas's grace I know you will wake up. There's some things we need to talk about...We need to..." Dean stopped talking when Castiel appeared again with a cup in one hand and a spoon in the other.

"Here you go." he said proudly handing Dean the cup. "I made sure it was finely ground so Sam can take it easier."

"Thanks Cas, might as well take a seat, I ain't going anywhere." Dean told him as he leaned toward Sam and spooned a little ice into his mouth. He watched him carefully and wiped away any that dripped out. Dean could see Sam's throat muscles moving as he swallowed and smiled happily. "That's it Sammy, just a little at a time. I'm sure this feels good on your throat." he encouraged as he gave Sam another small spoon of ice chips.

"Should I call Bobby and let him know we are here?"

"Sure, I figure he won't be in until sometime tomorrow anyway, but let him know things are okay on our end and to be careful."

"I will do that." Cas said getting up to step into the hall to make the call. He wasn't used to cells but was catching on ever so slowly and could make calls to others and was working on learning to text. After several minutes, he stepped back into the room. "Bobby said he was stopping halfway and would be in probably by lunchtime tomorrow and I quote, ' _Don't let that damn fool boy do somethin' stupid_ _'for I get there'_. He was pretty adamant about it."

"Cas can you get me in Sam's mind? He may not be conscious, but something is happening in that brain of his and I don't think it's good." Dean asked when Cas stepped back into the room ignoring the message from Bobby completely. He had watched Sam's facial expressions and noticed he cringed in pain or discomfort or both.

"Wouldn't that be considered unwise and stupid?" he questioned taking to heart what Bobby had said. "Bobby did say..."

"Can you do it or not?" Dean asked again impatiently and harsher than he meant to.

"I'm afraid I can not, not with being cut off from Heaven, but I might be able to contact someone who can." Cas said before disappearing from the bedroom.

When Cas reappeared, he was not alone. Dean looked at the new angel in surprise because he had on a Weiner World, red and white striped outfit and was a skinny teenager. He looked even less like an angel than Castiel.

"This is Samandriel; he's a friend. One of few who will still speaks to me from Heaven." Castiel introduced him. "He has agreed to help, but before you ask he is not able to heal him either."

"What if I just call him Alfie?" Dean asked reading the name tag on the kid's shirt.

Samandriel looked at his chest and saw the name tag and looked back up at Dean. "If you like. This body was the best we could do on such short notice."

"Did Cas explain what I needed?" Dean asked wanting to make sure the angel would do as he wanted.

"He did, we'll have to work fast. If the others know I'm helping you, they will not be happy. I do not want to be punished for repaying a debt." Alfie said stepping to the bed to look down at Sam for a moment before moving to stand between Dean and Sam. He placed a hand on Sam's head and then on Dean's and closed his eyes as he concentrated on making the connection between the two brothers. Alfie was a little surprised that it happened quicker than expected and decided it was true about the strong bond between the brothers he had heard about.

 **spn**

Dean didn't move as he felt the angel's hand on his head and closed his eyes when a strange sensation came over him. He felt like he was floating and couldn't breath for a moment as he was whisked away from reality and into another plane of existence. Dean finally felt himself stabilize and slowly opened his eyes. He was in a dimly lit room that he didn't recognize and blinked quickly a few times to get his eyes adjusted before carefully looking around. He missed the mound at first because it was in the shadows and hard to see. Dean stepped cautiously toward it so he could see better and realized it was his brother curled up in a tight ball. His clothes looked like filthy, torn up rags hanging on his frame. What he could see of his skin was covered in blood, dirt, scrapes, bruises and lacerations. His hair hung in greasy strings around his head as he let it roll from side to side and his body trembled uncontrollably. When he got a glimpse of his face, Dean saw his eyes were clenched tightly shut and his face was a mask of pain and despair and hopelessness. Sweat, blood and dirt streaked his cheeks as tears left small partly clean tracks where they leaked from his eyes and down his cheeks.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered urgently as he knelt down beside him. "Hey bro can you hear me?" he asked reaching to touch his shoulder only to have him shield away from him whining in fright and mumbling incoherent words. Dean sat back on his heels in shock, not sure why Sam was acting like this toward him.

"Sam...It's me Dean, don't you know me?"

Sam cried out and pulled himself further away from Dean and covered his head with his arms. Soft sobs could be heard coming from him as his shoulders shook uncontrollably. "My-My fa-fault...I-I de'rve th-th-is...My-my- fa-lt..." could just be made out as he mumbled it over and over between his sobs and cries of despair.

Dean's heart crumbled when he heard Sam's words and knew exactly what he was talking about. He had been the one to let Lucifer free when he killed Lilith, but he didn't know that that was going to happen. He had been tricked into doing it, but Sam felt the burden of that guilt completely on his shoulders. Dean wanted to reach out to him and comfort him, but before he could do either he was suddenly thrown back into his body. He sat back with a loud whoosh of air from his lungs as everything went sideways and he felt like puking.

"Sorry, I couldn't let you stay any longer." Alfie said stepping back from the two. "Using my grace like that is like a homing beacon for angels. I need to return to Heaven before I'm missed." With that said, Samandriel disappeared leaving the three alone in the room. Dean swallowed hard trying to get his balance and breath at the same time and not puke. He looked to Cas with sorrowful eyes and let them fall to his brother now that he knew what was going on in his head. There had to be some way to reach Sammy; he just needed to find it. He checked the IV bag and got up slowly so he wouldn't fall and picked up a new bag to change it out. The switch was quickly made and he dropped back down into the chair to resume his vigil trying his best not to loose hope after seeing into Sam's mind. His little brother didn't deserve this, if only he'd stopped him from leaving...

* * *

 **A/N: So Dean's desperate to reach his brother again so he can help him. Will they find a way? And if they do will Sam be okay? Thank you to all who are reading my creation and I hope you are being entertained. I do like to know your thoughts so if you can, please review. NC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Dean leaned toward the bed and rested his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his temples trying to stave off the headache that was building behind them. That experience took more out of him than he thought and he was feeling weak and drained. He knew he had to get back into Sam's mind and convince him to wake up. He wasn't going to let his brother suffer like this. There had to be another way and he was going to find it.

"What did you see?" Castiel asked carefully seeing and feeling Dean's anguish.

"I found him...But I couldn't get through to him." Dean said sadly. "He thinks he deserves what happened to him because of what he did. He's not trying to wake up...He's punishing and blaming himself for all of it. What I said to him when we split up just made it worse. I know it."

"I wish I could do more."

"It's okay Cas. When Bobby gets here maybe he'll know a way for me to get back in there and see if I can reason with him and get him to wake up. Until then...We just wait and keep him comfortable."

 **spn**

Dean slumped in his chair as he mulled over what he saw in Sam's head and pulled on the knowledge he had trying to find a solution. He was not leaving his brother's side unless it was to use the bathroom. He had left him once, he wasn't going to do it again.

"You need to eat, shall I go get something?" Cas asked knowing Dean wasn't going to take care of himself when his brother was like this. Bobby had told him to look after Dean until he got there and he planned on doing that whether he wanted it or not.

"I'm fine." Dean mumbled and reached for Sam's hand when it jerked uncontrollably like he was trying to fight some unseen foe. "It's okay Sammy, you're safe now." he assured him cupping his face with one hand and rubbing his thumb down his cheek. Sam didn't seem to want the comfort as he rolled his head away from the touch. Dean's heart broke a little more when he saw the rejection. "When you're ready bro I'll be here." he whispered. He wasn't letting this deter him from trying to get Sam to wake because there was no way he could face the alternative. It was bad enough when they split up, but at least he knew Sam was out there, but this...To have him waste away, trapped in his own head...He couldn't let that happen.

"No, you're not and you won't be until your brother is better." Cas stated bluntly. "I will return with food." he continued before vanishing sending a slight breeze across Dean's face.

Dean squinted his eyes for a moment and frowned at Cas being so blunt with him, but he was right. He wouldn't rest until he got Sam back. "Sammy, man...You can't put all this on your shoulders...I know I was rough on you and I said some things I shouldn't of, but...Damn it bro...You made me so mad I couldn't think...I couldn't see straight! And you wouldn't listen to me...Guess that's the Winchester stubbornness shining through..." he chuckled bitterly. "You gotta see what was done to you...They played you and told you what you wanted to hear...We were both screwed over royally bro...You can't let this break you...You're stronger than this, I know it...I'm gonna get through to you...Whatever it takes...You hear me? I will convince you to come back..." he trailed off looking at Sam's face for a reaction but didn't see any. He could still tell his eyes were moving under his lids, but more slowly now. Dean squeezed Sam's hands and rubbed a finger over his palm hoping to calm him and let him know he was there. He felt the scar in the middle of his palm and pushed back the raw emotions inside his mind. He had to make this right. If they couldn't get Sam back and he didn't make it, Dean knew there was no reason for him to stay either and might as well put a bullet in his head and join his little brother.

 **spn**

Dean looked up and reached for his weapon when he heard movement outside the bedroom. He relaxed when Cas walked in carrying a tray with different foods on it and a large drink.

"I wasn't sure what you might like so I got you several things to choose from." he said setting the tray on the bed by Sam's hip proud of his accomplishment. "I did remember the pie though."

"Thanks Cas." Dean huffed looking at the food before finally picking up half a sandwich to take a bite. "Can you check and see how he's doing? See if your grace is still working."

"Of course." Cas said sitting down on the other side of the bed and reaching to place a hand on Sam's forehead. He cocked his head as he felt Sam's essence and read his body, noting that it was almost healed. His bones were knitting back together with the help of his grace and he should be able to remove the casts in another three or four days. He focused on Sam's soul and could feel how weak and dim it was at the moment. He didn't know how long his soul could last if it didn't heal too. His body might be here but his soul would not. He wasn't going to relay that tidbit to Dean since he was already so distraught about Sam's condition. "He is still healing Dean. I should be able to take off the casts in a few days. I don't sense any further problems with his brain either and he's breathing easier now too."

"G'od." Dean mumbled around his bite of sandwich as he chewed. It did look like Sam had a little more color in his cheeks, but he still looked pale. He sipped the soda Cas had brought thinking maybe the sugar would help him stay awake. He looked at the two slices of pie trying to decide which one he wanted and chose the pecan for now and would have the other tomorrow. "You wanna put the rest of this in the fridge and I'll have it tomorrow?" he asked Cas as he took the pie and soda from the tray and sat back in the chair. He sat the soda on the nightstand and started to eat the pie not really tasting it, but knew it was better than nothing.

"Of course." Cas said looking at the tray to see he had eaten a little but not as much as he should. Cas removed the tray and took it downstairs to put the leftovers away. He started a pot of coffee knowing Dean drank a lot of it and waited for it to finish so he could take a cup up to him. Castiel trudged up the stairs to find Dean sitting in the chair just staring at Sam like he was afraid he would disappear. "I made some coffee." he said sitting the cup where Dean could reach it. He didn't get a response as he moved to the other side of the bed and took a chair too, to watch patiently over the youngest Winchester and keep an eye on the oldest one.

 **spn**

It was just before lunch the next day when Bobby pulled into the salvage yard and parked the Impala in the front of the house. He got out slowly and stretched his tired back before grabbing his bag and heading for the front door. He let himself in and glanced into the living room and toward the kitchen but didn't see anyone around. After dropping his bag in his bedroom, Bobby headed for the stairs figuring they were upstairs. Cas stepped from the spare bedroom and met him in the hall.

"It's good you're here." Cas said quietly as he looked back to the bedroom not wanting to say out loud what he was thinking. "Dean needs you."

Bobby moved to the doorway and saw Sam on the bed still unconscious and Dean sitting beside it holding his hand. Dean looked like death warmed over and he wondered if he had slept at all. He had barely dozed at the hospital and from the dark circles under his blood shot eyes, it didn't look like he had slept any since they got back.

"How's he doing son?" he asked when Dean looked up to see him standing there.

"He's in there Bobby, I saw him. I just need to convince him to wake up." Dean said quietly.

Bobby frowned and looked back at Cas who had the decency to look guilty. "What did you do?" he growled looking from one to the other, waiting for an answer.

"It was my idea." Dean finally said. "Don't blame Cas."

"I had an angel friend help Dean reach into Sam's mind." Cas admitted.

"Damnit Dean! Didn't I tell Cas to not let you do anything foolish?"

"I had to try Bobby...I had to..." Dean pleaded softly.

Bobby huffed out a chest full of air and pulled his cap off for a moment to rub his head before putting it back on. "I know son, I know." he said gently knowing he couldn't be mad at him. He knew Dean would do anything for his brother. "So talk to me."

"Do you know of any way for me to get into Sam's mind so I can convince him he needs to wake up?" Dean questioned. "Is there a spell or incantation or something I could use?"

Bobby looked at him staring hopefully his way and then looked to Sam lying so still on the bed. The only movement seen from him was the slow rise and fall of his chest. He knew of only one thing and it would be risky, but it might be the only chance they had.

"Yeah, I think I do but I don't have the herb here."

"Where can we get some?" Dean asked a tone of hope in his voice as he sat up straighter.

"Probably the easiest place would be from Missouri. I'm sure she has some squirreled away in her storage building."

"We can send Cas to get it." Dean said getting up and pacing the floor. "Cas, you can do that can't you?"

"I can." Cas answered looking to Bobby for more instructions.

"Her name is Missouri Mosley and she lives in Lawrence, Kansas. Let me ca..." he started but huffed when he saw Cas had already disappeared. "Better go call the old gal and let her know to be expecting company." he grumbled. "Don't seem like no one listens anymore..." he muttered as he left the bedroom to make the call so Missouri wouldn't be tempted to put a few holes in Cas.

"Hear that Sammy, Bobby knows a way that I can reach you. I'm gonna make this right and you're gonna wake up...You have to wake up...You hear me Sammy..." Dean begged softly going back to the bed to sit down so he could talk to Sam easier. He continued to whisper encouragement to him as he rearranged the blanket covering his body. "I know you're in there now and I know you're suffering, but I'm coming and we'll do this together. You'll see bro...It'll be okay..." he mumbled trying to convince himself as much as Sam.

* * *

 **A/N: Now they have a plan in place but what is Dean going to find when he gets in there? Can he pull him out? Thank you for all the support for this story and for all who have left me reviews. I love to hear from you because it makes me want to write more. Reviews are welcome. NC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"H'llo old gal." Bobby said warmly.

"Who ya calling old, you old coot?" Missouri spat back with warmth in her voice. "It's been too long since we last spoke what's going on?"

"There's gonna be a guy named Castiel coming by for me. I need something from you, it's urgent."

Missouri looked to the door as someone knocked and moved toward it.

"Is that so and what does this Castiel look like?" she asked peeking out between the curtain.

"Well, he looks sort of normal I guess. Oh and he has a trench coat and suit on."

"Ummm...And what is it that you need?" she asked opening the door to see a man dressed like Bobby described standing on her porch looking around like he was lost before turning to stare at her.

"Entada rheelii, African dream herb."

"You're out of luck with that, but I do have some Silene Capensis, African dream root. It's has the same effect, but you have to be careful and not use too much. It's more potent than the herb and should be used sparingly." she said. "Well don't just stand there, c'mon in." she called to Castiel who looked at her curiously. She stepped aside as Cas entered the house and looked around with interest. "Bobby, wanna tell me something?" she whispered into her phone as she studied him, knowing at once he was not human. She couldn't read anything about him, but she could tell he had some strong powers. "What is he?"

"I am an angel of the Lord." Castiel said as Bobby said pretty much the same thing.

"You sure he's an angel Bobby?"

"Yeah, he's an angel and a friend." Bobby admitted.

"And no I will not harm you." he said reading her thoughts.

"I would hope not, you're really worried about Sam aren't you? You don't know how much time he has."

"That is true; I can not help him because I am cut off from Heaven."

"He's the fastest way to get what we need. It's Sam, Missouri; we don't have any other options to save him."

"Why didn't ya call me in the first place?" she fussed at him. "I'll get it and send him on his way." she said hanging up and hurrying for the back of the house. "You coming Castiel or do you need a formal invitation?"

"Yes ma'am, I will follow you and I'm not sure how angels should look." Cas said following close behind her and answering the question she was thinking to get a frown from her. He liked this woman with her no nonsense sass and soft spoken voice. He could tell she had abilities and that is why she knew he wasn't human. Cas was led outside and to a small building that sat behind her house in a fenced in yard. He looked around as she unlocked the door and stepped inside. The room was filled with drying herbs, bottles, boxes and an assortment of equipment needed to make them useable for spells, potions and incantations.

Missouri mumbled to herself as she busied looking in small drawers and picking up jars, before picking up a small jar and placing some dried up roots into it and screwing the lid on. She picked up a pad and wrote on it, studying her notation before turning to Castiel.

"Here you go and make sure that old coot reads the instructions carefully. If he needs anything else, you tell him he better call me." she instructed Castiel holding out the bottle and paper.

"Thank you and I will be sure to tell him." Castiel said bowing slightly to her and stepping outside to disappear as she walked out the door of the building.

"Well hell, that's different." she mumbled to herself looking around to be sure she saw what she saw that he had disappeared.

 **spn**

"She said to make sure you read the instructions first." Castiel said holding out the bottle and the paper to Bobby. "And to call if you need anything else."

"I'm sure she did." Bobby replied looking over the paper and then looking to the jar with the root in it. "Guess I better get this mixed up."

"Can I be of help?"

"Why don't ya go keep Dean company?"

"I can do that." he nodded heading for the stairs and to the bedroom.

Bobby looked at the ingredients he would need and went to get a small marble mortar and grinder to crush and mix the items in. He started some water to heat and searched through a cabinet for the rest of the things. When he had everything assembled, Bobby began to very carefully measure out each ingredient to add to the mortar and ground it together after each addition. He raked everything into a pint jar and added warm water to let it steep and let everything blend together. After putting the lid on, he shook the jar for a minute before studying the mixture hoping this would work. Now he only needed one more item before giving it to Dean to drink. He needed to snip a few sprigs of Sam's hair to add to the mixture and it would be ready to use. He cleaned up the mess and sealed the rest of the dream root in the jar before putting it away with the other things. The only way to see if he did everything right was to test it out. He knew Dean was waiting anxiously upstairs and he knew he couldn't put it off any longer, so he headed to the bedroom.

 **spn**

Bobby found Dean pretty much where he had left him and Castiel was sitting on the other side of the bed. Dean looked up and looked at the jar he was holding.

"Is that it?" Dean asked anxiously. "Is it ready?"

"It needs one more ingredient." Bobby said stepping to the bed and opening the jar before sitting it on the nightstand. He leaned over and used a small pair of scissors to snip a little sprig of Sam's hair. He dropped it in the jar and replaced the lid shaking it again.

"Damn, ya mean I gotta drink his hair?" Dean grimaced as he watched Bobby finish the concoction.

"Afraid so son. Now listen carefully Dean, this will let you get into Sam's mind, but you gotta understand if something happens to you in there, it's gonna happen to you out here too to your real body. If you get hurt in there, it will hurt your body out here. You gotta be extremely careful, there's no telling what Sam's going through or what he has created in there. You don't know what memories Sam is reliving. It could be dangerous and it might not be that easy to find him. You know how complicated his mind is...So just be sure to treat lightly, ya hear me?"

"I've got my gun; I can take care of myself. I just gotta get to him and wake his ass up."

"Only drink half of it." he cautioned giving the jar one last shake before giving it to Dean. "Help me Cas; we need to move Sam's body over so Dean can lie down beside him."

"Of course." Cas answered reaching to help shift Sam's body enough that Dean could sit down beside him.

"Well, here goes nothing." Dean said stilling himself as he unscrewed the lid and in a couple of gulps drank half the liquid. He handed the jar to Bobby and grimaced and made a face as he gagged and worked hard on keeping it down. "That tastes like shit Bobby. How long before anything happens?" he asked not feeling any affects yet. "I don't think its working. I don't fe..." Dean started before slumping down on the bed unconscious. Castiel moved quickly to adjust his body into a comfortable position, putting his legs up on the bed and getting his head on the pillow. He stepped back, not sure what else to do.

"All we can do now is wait, might as well take a seat." Bobby sighed sitting down where Dean had been sitting. He looked at the two boys hoping this was going to work and also hoping he wasn't going to lose both his boys today.

 **spn**

Dean gulped in a mouth full of air as he woke up and looked around. He was at the end of an alley, from what he could tell, but he had not idea where this alley was. Noises deeper into the alley caught his attention and he eased down the side in the shadows toward it, not sure what he would find. His breath caught in his throat when he approached loud voices that were cussing and swearing, because he heard some of the words and realized what was happening. He stepped from the shadows to see three guys beating up another and Dean saw red when they stretched the arms out and one started to hammer something into his hands.

"Sam!" Dean raged as he drew his gun and headed for him. He started firing without even knowing it taking out the ones who had tortured his brother. As the three fell to the ground they began to fade away, leaving Sam hanging by one hand to the wall. Dean rushed to him and grabbed Sam's limp body as he tried to work the metal out of his hand so he could lower him to the ground. "Sammy?" he questioned, brushing back his hair so he could see his face. "Hey man, are ya with me?"

Sam let out a soft moan as he rolled his head and then went still. Dean quickly checked for a pulse only to have him disappear from his arms. He looked down in shock not understanding what just happened. Dean stood up and looked up and down the alley but didn't see anything. He knew this was what happened to Sam, he was reliving it. Not knowing what else to do, he began to walk toward the end of the alley hoping maybe he would find something that would lead him to his brother. He stepped from the alley and realized he was in a warehouse and frowned looking back for the alley, but it was gone. He moved carefully forward trying to rack his memory of what this might be.

Yelling and what sounded like a fight drew his attention to the other side of the building and moved that way. Dean stood in the shadows and saw a woman he remembered as Jimmy Novack's wife and then another him walked up. Sam was kneeling on the floor over a demon that he had bitten and drank his blood. He looked toward her and Dean with blood smeared around his mouth and dripping from the corner of it. Dean looked at the expression on his other face and saw the disbelief, disgust and anger and looked to Sam and saw hurt, confusion, shame and slight fear. Dean remembered this now. It was when Cas was expelled from Jimmy Novack's body and he went home, but demons followed attacking him and his family. They tried to get them to safety but were attacked again by demons. This was the day he learned that Sam had been drinking demon blood so he could kill Lilith. He moved toward a door, not wanting to see more and stepped out into the daylight.

 **spn**

He looked around not sure where and what memory this was as he looked around at the abandoned buildings. Cautiously, Dean moved forward and saw the Impala parked beside one of them and headed that way. He looked to the building and moved to a window that had broken panes to gaze inside. He frowned when he looked in and saw Sam standing inside with that demon bitch Ruby.

"You need to try again." she encouraged Sam, laying a hand on his arm. "How's your head?"

"It hurts, but I can take it." Sam huffed standing taller as he turned to face someone tied in a chair.

"Concentrate now."

Sam raised his hand and stared hard at the man in the chair who was laughing at him. Dean studied the man and when his eyes turned black knew he was a demon. He watched Sam grunt once as he closed his eyes and worked on pulling the demon from the man. Black smoke started to come out of the man's mouth for a moment and then when back in.

"What's the matter there Sam? Not got the juice?" he cackled at Sam.

Sam was breathing hard as he wiped the trickle of blood from his upper lip. The pain was getting worse and he couldn't take much more. Before he could stop her, Ruby took the demon knife and stabbed the man in the chest killing the demon and the man.

"It's okay Sam, we'll catch another one to practice on." she said slipping her body under one of his arms and helping him toward the door. "Let's get you back to the motel; I know just what you need."

Dean turned and headed away from the scene knowing he'd seen enough. This was when Sam was learning to use his powers and Ruby was manipulating him and getting him hooked on demon blood. He turned a corner and stumbled in his steps when the day was suddenly night. He looked around at the parking lot spotting the Impala and a yellow Mustang parked side by side. They were parked in front of a one story motel that he didn't think he had ever stayed at. Dean made his way to the walkway and moved to the door at the end room. He carefully turned the knob finding it was locked and pulled out his kit. He unlocked the door and very carefully turned the knob before pushing on the door enough to stick his head in. What he saw made him sick. Sam was standing in front of Ruby and tossed her to the bed, pinning her body under his as he kissed her passionately. He ran a hand down her body until it reached her boots and pulled a knife from it. He looked at her for permission and she smiled and held her arm out. Sam took the knife and sliced into her arm so he could suck her blood greedily.

"That's it Sammy, you can have all you want." she cooed to him a knowing look on her face as she smiled at him. The look on her face told it all, she wanted him to drink her blood.

Dean swallowed hard as his stomach churned in disgust and blanched when Ruby looked up and started at him as her eyes turned black. She stroked Sam's head letting him drink his fill of her blood. He knew he had seen enough when Sam started taking off his clothes before starting on Ruby's. They entangled themselves together and Dean closed the door knowing he did not want to see more of that. He knew Ruby was getting Sam addicted to demon blood, but he didn't know she was also shagging him too. No wonder Sam was so enthralled with her, she was giving him what he needed, friendship, support, comfort, a means for revenge, demon blood and sex. He walked out of the parking lot not paying attention until looking up to see a motel he did remember, but wished he could forget it. It was the one Sam and Ruby had been staying at when he went to confront Sam about what he was doing. He had called him a monster and gave him an ultimatum, _if you walked out that door, don't ever come back._ That was a memory he didn't want to see again and turned away from the motel to continue on down the road away from these memories. He hadn't walked far when he saw a house that looked abandoned off to the side of the road with a yellow Mustang parked in front of it. He moved closer and stopped by a tree as he watched his brother come out of the house followed by Ruby who was dragging a woman that was tied up. Sam opened the trunk and Ruby pushed her into it and closed the lid.

"You're not getting cold feet on me are ya Sammy?" Ruby asked. "You've got to be strong to kill Lilith and I can't give you enough blood to do that."

"But if you drain her, it'll kill the host body." Sam said unsure if he was doing the right thing.

"You want to take your revenge for what Lilith did to your brother don't you? It's the only way. She's just one human..." Ruby started hugging Sam and looking up at him.

Dean felt his blood boil as he listened to Ruby talk his brother into killing the woman instead of exorcising the demon from her. He was so glad that he had the pleasure of killing her. Dean could see the uncertainty on Sam's face and if he hadn't confronted him and accused him like he did, maybe he could have stopped this from happening. He watched Sam take out his cell and press some buttons before putting the phone to his ear and listen to something. Suddenly his whole stance changed and his body language turned to one of determination, hatred, stubbornness, and for a moment his eyes darkened almost black. This had to be where Sam decided for sure he was going to kill Lilith. He watched Sam get in the car and Ruby drove off toward the monastery. Dean turned to move on still in search of his brother. He knew he was in here somewhere and was not leaving until he found him.

* * *

 **A/N: Dean is beginning his journey through Sam's memories to find him. They are not going to be happy ones, so be prepared. Thank you to all who are reading my story. Thank you to the guests who have left reviews and to the silent readers out there. I do love reviews, please leave one. NC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

He stepped out of the dimness of the building and saw the Impala parked in a lot and it was early afternoon. The scenery outside was completely different than before. He looked around slowly unsure of where he was at and what memory this was that Sam was recreating. He felt like he was walking through Sam's Greatest Screw Ups and wondered where all the good stuff was. Where were the memories of all the lives they saved and people they helped? Where were the memories of relaxing on the Impala, sipping a cold one and watching the stars or catching a game on television or a concert or seeing the sunrise on another day just happy to be alive? His other self walked out followed by a downhearted looking Sam. The words burned in his mind as they came from his lips.

 _"Dean is there something you wanna say to me?" Sam asked his words tinged with slight anger._

 _"I tried Sammy, man I really tried but I just can't keep pretending that everything's alright 'cause its not and its never going to be." Dean said sadly knowing he had to speak these words. "You chose a demon over your own brother and look what happened."_

 _"I'd give anything to change things anything to take it all back." Sam pleaded softly._

 _"I know that and I know how sorry you are, I do. But man you were the one I depended on the most and you let me down in ways I can't even... I'm just having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here you know."_

 _"What can I do?"_

 _"Honestly nothing. I just don't...I don't think we can ever be what we were you know. I just don't think I can trust you." the other Dean said looking toward Sam with a betrayed expression as he opened the driver's door of the Impala to get in._ That Dean never saw the complete hopelessness on Sam's face like dream walking Dean did and how utterly lost and defeated he looked right then. It looked like Sam was shrinking in on himself, looking so much smaller than his true for. Dean's soul cried out in pain and sorrow and wanted to rush down there and tell Sam he was sorry.

Dean hung his head when he saw the replay and just how badly he had treated Sam back then. He was so mad and disappointed with him that he didn't bother to think about how Sam felt. He watched Sam for a moment knowing by his body language he was doing everything to hold it together and followed Dean slowly to the car, his head hung low. Dream walking Dean closed his eyes not able to watch anymore. When he opened them back up, the scene had changed again. The other Dean was sitting at a picnic table with Sam sitting across from him. It looked like they were having a meal with a bag and wrappers sitting by them on the table.

 _"Dean..." Sam starts but is cut off by Dean._

 _"Sam let's not..."_

 _"No listen this is important. I know you don't trust me and now I realize I don't trust me either. From the minute I saw that blood the only thought in my head...and I tell myself its for the right reasons and my intentions are good and it feels true but I think underneath I just miss the feeling." Sam tries to explain, looking at Dean with such a lost expression. "I know how messed up that sounds, which means I know how messed up_ _ **I am**_ _. The thing is the problem's not the demon blood, not really I mean what I did I can't blame on blood or Ruby or anything. The problem is me, how far I'll go. There's something in me that scares the hell out of me Dean. And the last couple of days I caught another glimpse." Sam stated looking down at his clenched hands._

 _"So what are you saying?" Dean asked._

 _"I'm in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back 'cause I'm dangerous. Maybe its best if we just go our separate ways." he says, but deep down he's begging Dean to say no, they should stick together._

 _"Well I think you're right." Dean finally replies._

 _"I was expecting a fight." Sam answered surprised there wasn't one._

 _"The truth is I spend more time worrying about you than about doing the job right. I just can't afford that right now you know, not now..."_

 _"I'm sorry Dean."_

 _"I know you are Sam. Hey you wanna take the Impala?" Dean asked._

 _"That's okay." Sam said getting up from the table to get his things from the car._

 _"Take care of yourself Dean." Sam says as a final goodbye._

 _"You too Sammy." he says softly watching his brother walk away to get bags out of the car and bum a ride from stranger._

He remembered this one vividly because it was the last time he had seen Sam alive and well. He watched as his other self listened to Sam say that he thought it was better if they went their own ways and watched him walk off to catch a ride with a stranger. Now that he was seeing it again, he couldn't believe he let Sam walk out of his life like that and go off with a complete stranger. How could he have sat there and let this happen? How could he have just let him go like that? Why didn't he stop him? What kind of big brother was he to turn his back on his little brother? What happened to Sam was all his fault for letting his anger and stubbornness get in the way of being a brother and breaking a promise he made so long ago. A promise to keep his little brother safe and protect him and he let him down more than once. For that he would have to live with for the rest of his life. Dean didn't know if he could take anymore of these gut wrenching memories but right now he needed to focus on finding the real Sam and getting him to wake up.

 **spn**

Bobby leaned forward as Dean's body twitched and trembled and he started panting hard like he was running. He moaned out in his sleep, swatting at some imaginary thing before calming back down. He watched him closely seeing if he was okay before settling back again. He looked over at Cas who was staring from one brother to the next and back again.

"You okay Cas?" Bobby asked him.

"Yes...No...Not being at full strength puts me at a disadvantage and I can not help them." Cas admitted pitifully.

"It's not your fault Cas, you did what you could. Now it's up to Dean. I just hope he can find him." Bobby said. "There's no telling what he might run into in there. Sam went through some bad times when Dean was gone and it still haunts him. I know the boy thought he was getting revenge when he killed Lilith and had no idea that it would free the devil. He was tricked by demons and angels alike and didn't stand a chance..." Bobby sighed removing his ball cap long enough to rub a hand over his head before replacing it. He felt like Cas did, useless at the moment. All they could do was wait and be there for both of them, no matter what happened.

"I felt Dean was truly sorry that he let Sam leave." Cas said randomly.

"Why did he do that to begin with?"

"I think Sam was feeling guilty about what he did and Dean couldn't get past what Sam had done. Not about freeing Lucifer, but choosing a demon over him. It broke him in ways I can't explain...There are still human emotions and feelings I have not yet come to understand."

"Yeah, I could see how that would rub Dean the wrong way and make him do lame ass things." Bobby admitted shaking his head. "Some things are hard to forgive."

Nearly a day had passed now and Dean still hadn't come back from dream walking in Sam's mind. Bobby had come and gone numerous times ever watchful of the two young men. Castiel remained at the bedside never leaving their side in case he was needed. He could feel internal struggles in both the brothers but couldn't tell how Dean was doing in trying to convince Sam to wake up. If this didn't work, Cas didn't know how Dean would handle it.

 **spn**

When Dean turned, everything had changed again and darkness was falling around him. He looked around for anything that looked familiar, but didn't see anything to jog his memory. A quiet noise caught his attention and he cautiously eased toward it. He heard it again and thought it sounded familiar as he strained to see into the shadows that were lengthening and growing darker. Dean was finally able to make out a shape wedged into a corner near him.

"Sammy..." Dean whispered, faltering in his steps for a moment before slowly approaching the huddled form. "Sammy, bro, its me, Dean..." he said moving very slowly toward him so he wouldn't spook him.

Sam's body shivered and shuttered as soft sobs escaped from his mouth. He jerked and tried to swallow them back but couldn't stop them from coming out. He had his arms wrapped around his legs and was hugging himself as tightly as he could. He didn't notice or hear the person coming toward him until they knelt, getting in his line of vision.

"Sammy...Can you hear me bro?" Dean asked trying to look into his haunted eyes. He could just barely make him out and wished it was a little lighter so he could see. Without warning, the scene lightened and Dean glanced around quickly in surprise. "That's freaky."

Sam shivered as coldness seeped through his body, making him shake uncontrollably. He raised his bloodshot eyes far enough to finally see the face of the one he let down. He blinked several times wondering why he would be here and jerked away as if shocked when Dean reached out a hand to lay on his wrist. It was warm against his ice cold skin and he lashed out hitting Dean in the face, splitting his lip and knocking him over.

"No, no! Not real..." Sam mumbled as he started rocking again. "Can't...Be real..." he mumbled as he zoned out again lost in his mind.

"Sammy, you gotta snap out of this man." Dean said picking himself up and kneeling back by Sam. "You gotta wake up. This isn't real; it's all in your head dude. We're at Bobby's and you're safe. All this, all those nightmares are memories of the past, you gotta let them go...You gotta make your mind wake up."

"Ho-ho-ho ya 'ere?" Sam stuttered out as his teeth clicked together and the shaking of his body got worse.

"Here." Dean said pulling his jacket off and draping it over Sam's shoulders pulling it tight around him. "Dream root. Cas got some from Missouri. Man Sammy! You feel like an icicle." he said encasing his hand with his. He caught both of his brother's hands and began to massage them trying to get some warmth back into them. "Do you remember anything? About what happened?"

"M' fa'lt..." Sam whispered just loud enough for Dean to hear. That was all he kept saying as he rocked slightly not really focusing on Dean anymore.

"No Sammy it's not and I was wrong...I should never have let you leave. I was mad and upset and yeah, disappointed...But I should of talked it out with you, got it all in the open and then let it go. What happened to you was my fault and I'll never forgive myself. Please Sammy, you're the only one who can do this and wake yourself up. We can make this right bro...Please give me a chance to make this right...I'm sorry Sam, I broke a promise I made to you a long time ago, but if you'll come back I'll make it right. Please come back Sammy..." Dean begged running his tongue over his bottom lip and tasting blood. He clamped down on Sam's wrist again, just a little tighter this time hoping it would keep him from getting away now that he had the right one. "I'm not gonna leave you Sammy, no matter how long it takes. If you wanna sit here, we'll sit here." he said slipping to a sitting position to lean back against the wall with him and putting an arm around Sam's shoulders to pull him toward him hoping there would be no others memories he was have to face.

Sam tried to resist Dean's advances and pull away, but he had a tight grip on his wrist and he couldn't pull it free. The surroundings got dark as Sam fought and a wind began to blow bringing drops of rain with it. The drops struck both brothers, quickly wetting their clothes and running in streams down their faces, but still Dean never let go, nor did he complain about it. Sam felt a strong arm being wrapped around him and could feel the warmth of his brother's body as he held him close. Could he believe what Dean said? Did he really want him back even after all the screwed up things he had done? He tried to remain stiff and unmovable as tears continued to run down his face and mix with the rain. Dean ran his hand gently up and down Sam's arm that was covered with his coat as he started humming softly ignoring the rain and wind and darkness. If this was what it took to get him back, he'd sit here forever how long it took. He wasn't leaving without his brother, not this time.

Before he knew it, Sam was leaning into him, letting his head rest on his shoulder and the rain started to slowly go away. He closed his eyes and tried to absorb the body heat his brother was emitting. He never noticed when Dean thought of a blanket and draped it over Sam's body to help warm him. The soft humming relaxed him even more and he sniffed wiping his nose on the blanket. The surrounds around him was slowly starting to lighten and his shivering was growing less.

"That's it Sammy, gotta get ya warmed up so you can wake up." Dean mumbled into Sam's ear. "Think maybe it's time bro? You've been out of it for awhile now. Got everyone scared that you won't wake up but I never doubted it. I knew I could reach you. Bobby's here and so is Cas. They're waiting for you..."

 **spn**

Bobby and Cas both got up when Dean almost fell off the bed and blood began to trickle from a cut on his lip. Bobby held him in place as he struggled for a moment before stopping, going limp in his arms.

"What's happening?" Cas questioned looking to Bobby for the answer.

"Don't know, something must of happened in Sam's mind." Bobby said. "Told the fool kid to be careful..."

They both turned to Sam who moaned and turned his head as he raised a trembling hand to his face. They could see tears running from his eyes and he shivered uncontrollably. He seemed to be trying to get away from someone as he pushed out with his hands for a moment before all movement stopped. Sam raised his hand again, only to let it fall limply back to his side as he drew in a long breath before forcing his eyes partly open, but couldn't see anything since his vision was blurry with his tears.

"Sam?" Bobby asked looking over at him as he licked his cracked lips. "Cas give him something to drink."

"Of course." Cas said picking up a glass of water and holding the straw to Sam's lips. He watched as Sam greedily sucked in a little water letting it wet his dry mouth and parched throat. He drank a little more and spit the straw out, letting his head fall back on the pillow as he tried to get his body under control. Tears leaked from the corner of his eyes as he worked on drawing in deeper breaths and to stop all the emotions and memories tumbling around inside of him.

Bobby looked to Dean waiting for him to wake up and started to panic when he didn't move, until Dean suddenly sprang up coughing and wheezing as he tried to gulp in mouths of air. He looked around for a second before turning to his brother to see if it had worked.

"S'mmy..." Dean gasped out as he reached for him. He broke out in a smile when he saw Sam open his eyes to slits to look at him. "Welcome back bro..." Dean said hoarsely as he cupped his face with his hand and brushed his tears away. He knew they weren't out of the woods yet, but it was a start. He was awake at least and whatever problems there might be; he would deal with them. He wasn't running or leaving his brother this time. He was going to be there for him no matter what. Dean dropped back down on the bed as exhaustion took over now and closed his eyes but kept an arm draped over Sam's chest. He could feel the slow steady breathing as his chest rose and fell with each breath. He let his eyes close and shut out all the noises around him letting his mind drift away as he was pulled under.

"They are both asleep now." Cas told Bobby looking from one brother to the other. "They have been through a lot it seems."

"I'd say that's probably the best thing for both of them. Let's just let them sleep for now." Bobby said with a sigh knowing this wasn't over yet, it was just beginning.

* * *

 **A/N: This was a tough one to write, but at least Sam is awake. It's not going to be smooth sailing for either brother so be prepared. Thank you to all who decided to read my story and thank you to any guest who have left me reviews, they are appreciated. As always reviews are welcome. NC**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Drink." Bobby said sitting a glass with a shot of whiskey in it in front of Dean. "I think ya need it."

Dean had slept for nearly twelve hours straight until he struggled from the bed to use the bathroom, guzzle down a bottle of water and returned to sleep for another five hours. Sam slept through it all and Cas took care of his needs as he monitored his consciousness. He kept the nightmares at bay so Sam could actually rest and let his body continue to heal. Dean finally roused himself enough to make it downstairs where Bobby decided a shot wouldn't hurt him.

"Thanks..." Dean said his voice rough and raw. He accepted the glass and swirled the amber liquid for a moment before gulping it down. His split lip stung from the alcohol and it burned his throat as it settled into his stomach, slowly spreading warmth throughout his body.

"You alright son?"

"I'll get back to you on that." he sighed, feeling exhausted, drained and worn down. He didn't know dream walking was going to take this much out of him. His body felt achy and stiff as he shifted in his chair trying to get comfortable. "I need to get back to Sammy..." Dean mumbled as he rubbed his eyes that felt like they had grit in them.

"Cas is with him, you need a break." Bobby told him. "Besides he's sleeping right now anyway. Gotta take care of yerself if you plan on taking care of yer brother. I'll heat ya some soup up and ya need to eat it."

"I don't..."

"Yer gonna eat, iffin I gotta feed it to ya." Bobby stated in no uncertain terms. He got up and went to the fridge to get the last of the soup out to heat up. "I got some cracker around here somewhere. Don't know how ya expect to stay on yer feet iffin ya don't eat..." he mumbled sticking the soup in the microwave to heat. He started looking through the cabinets until he found the crackers and sat them by Dean. Dinging alerted him that the soup was ready and got it out, carefully stirring to distribute the heat before sitting it in front of Dean. "Now eat up, it'll make ya feel better. You haven't ate in nearly two days. You're gonna end up in bed 'side yer brother if you don't think of yourself once and a while."

Dean looked down at the soup and knew he'd better try to eat some or face Bobby's wrath. He slipped the spoon in and stirred it before taking a tentative sip. He pulled a couple of crackers from the sleeve and crumbled them into the soup and forced himself to eat some more. Dean stopped for a moment and sipped on the Gatorade Bobby sat at his hand to be sure his stomach was going to tolerate it before eating more. He rubbed his temples for a moment hoping the headache that wanted to start would go away.

"Headache, need some Tylenol?" Bobby asked watching him closely and noticing from his body language that he was hurting.

"Maybe, its not bad yet." Dean nodded.

Bobby turned around and opened a cabinet to pull a bottle out. He sat it on the table within Dean's reach and sat back down. Dean reached for the bottle and popped the lid to shake two pills into his palm. He put them in his mouth and sipped some Gatorade to wash them down.

"How bad was it?" Bobby asked carefully not sure Dean was ready to talk about what he saw yet or not.

"I didn't know how much I hurt him Bobby..." Dean started letting his sentence trail off. "It was like watching a stranger and wanting to kick the shit out of him for treating his brother that way. It was like Sam couldn't see anything but his mistakes he made. How could I have been so blind Bobby? I'm surprised he stayed with me as long as he did..."

"It's in the past son, nothing ya can do to change it now. Ya need to let it go; ya need to deal with the present and decide on the future. You got him back, you just need to work on keeping him back."

"I've had all I want. I'm gonna head back upstairs to Sammy." Dean said pushing away from the table and sitting his bowl in the sink. He had managed to eat half of it and didn't want to tempt fate with more. He picked up the bottle of Gatorade and took it with him knowing he needed to hydrate after what he had been through. His body felt like it was weighted down as he trudged up the steps to the bedroom where Sam was resting. "How's he doing Cas?" Dean asked stepping to the bed to look down at Sam.

"He's stirred a couple of times, but dozed back off." Cas answered.

"Why don't ya go downstairs and see if Bobby needs any help?" Dean asked wanting to be alone with Sam.

"Alright, I'll see what he's doing." Cas said getting up to head downstairs sensing Dean needed some time alone with his brother. He was getting a better sense of when Dean wanted him to leave without coming right out and asking it.

 **spn**

"Hey Sammy, you awake?" Dean asked him moving the chair closer to the bed. He reached out and took Sam's hand in his thinking it still felt too cold and watched as he struggled to open his eyes. Dean had removed his IV now that he was awake and could eat. He looked at his bruised arm where the needle had been and couldn't help but think it matched the rest of his multicolored body, but at least the others were fading now leaving patches on his skin an ugly shade of pale yellow.

"De..." Sam mumbled softly as he tried to focus on his brother.

"There you are bro." Dean cooed to him. "How ya feeling?"

"Weak..." he replied running his tongue over his lips and looking to his water.

"Hold on..." Dean said moving to reach for Sam's water and holding it where he could drink some.

Sam sighed as he drank the water, trying to quench his thirst. He began to move his body a little, thinking something didn't feel right. He tried to push himself up some and looked down at his legs in puzzlement when they didn't obey him. Sam tried again to shift his legs and nothing happened. "Dee..." he said as panic started to build inside him and his body stiffened. "I-I can't...Legs..." he finally got out staring at him with terror in his eyes.

"What?" Dean asked looking down where Sam was looking at his legs as his breathing quickened and he started wheezing. He pulled the blanket off his body and looked at his legs and feet. "Hey, hey you need to slow your breathing Sammy." Dean cautioned him as he moved to sit beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder and chest. After a few minutes when his breathing got better, he asked him. "Try to wiggle your toes for me."

"Tr-Tr-ing." he grunted, concentrating on his toes and willing them move. He gritted his teeth and tried again but still couldn't make them even twitch. "Can't." he huffed looking to Dean as tears filled his eyes that looked so scared and lost.

"It's alright Sammy...The doctor said there might be some problems once you woke, but they would probably be only temporary. You just gotta let yourself finish healing bro. You've been out for nearly a week." Dean assured him. "Why don't you let me exercise them some." he said. "I read in the release papers this needs to be done twice daily." Dean positioned himself at his brother's left leg and carefully bent it at the knee so he could push it slowly toward his chest. He did this a total of five times and moved to the other leg to do the same. He watched Sam's facial expression to see if he was in pain or felt anything. Dean started at the thigh and began to massage his muscles working slowly down to his calf and finally his foot. He moved to the other side again and worked on the left leg. When he got down to his left foot, Dean massaged the bottom of his foot and stopped when a couple of his toes moved. "Did you see that?" he said excitedly. "Your toes moved, Sammy can you wiggle your toes?"

Sam watched his foot and saw the movement too and stared hopefully at his foot as chanted in his head, ' _Move my toes, move my toes_ ,' until his big toe on the left foot twitched.

"See! I told you, just gotta give yourself a little time." Dean smiled happily when he did it again. It wasn't much but it was a start. He was trying not to panic as Sam tried to speak and it seemed harder each time. He knew he had to be patient and let him do it on his own.

"Dean, need...Need..." Sam said knowing what he wanted to say but couldn't get it to come out. "Bathroom." he forced out shyly, embarrassed at having to ask.

"Let me get Cas, he can take care of it." Dean said going to the top of the stairs and calling down for him. "Cas, got a minute?"

"Yes Dean?" Cas asked appearing behind him and almost making him fall down the stairs. "Cas, we talked about this."

"Oh, right, sorry." he said stepping back from him to give him personal space.

"Sammy needs to use the bathroom. Can you zap him or something and take care of it. Right now he can't walk."

"Of course. Should we be concerned about this? Does he need to see the doctor again?" Cas asked looking into the bedroom.

"Give it a little time, he just woke up, but if it doesn't get better I'll see about taking him to see a doctor." Dean told him.

Cas walked over to Sam and positioned his hand on his abdomen for a moment and then removed it. "Is that better Sam?"

Sam nodded his head as he fought to make sense of what was happening. He knew he could talk but it was like there was a loose connection and the words didn't want to pass over his lips. It was like he couldn't form the sentences he wanted and have them make sense.

"Sammy, how 'bout a sponge bath and maybe you'll wanna sit up for a bit and I can change the sheets on the bed?"

"Gu-Guess." he said getting bummed that he was so helpless and not feeling himself. He felt like a child not being able to do anything for himself and it didn't help that what he wanted to say wouldn't form right in his brain and come out of his mouth. Things were fuzzy and out of sync but the one thing he did remember was he had split with his brother and Dean didn't want him around.

"I know that face, so stop it." Dean chastised him. "I don't want ya getting into one of those bitchy moods, you're gonna get better. Cas while I bathe him, why don't you go fix him something to eat, maybe some soup and crackers. Bobby'll show you where things are."

"I can do that." he said firmly, happy to be asked to help and heading back downstairs to do as requested.

"You're struggling to talk Sammy; I can see it. Don't try so hard, it'll come back, the docs said this could happen with the head injury you sustained. You're still healing, just let yourself do that. It'll get better. You hear me Sammy?" he asked tilting his chin so he could see into his tortured eyes.

Sam listened to what he was saying wanting so bad to contradict him but was afraid of what would come out of his mouth. He pressed his lips together and looked down away from Dean's gaze and nodded his head yes.

"Alright then, I'll go get the stuff and we'll get this done."

 **spn**

Dean went to the bathroom and filled a plastic tub with hot water and stopped by the linen closet to grab towels and washcloth. He knew Sammy needed his hair washed, but that would have to wait. He would have whoever went on a supply run pick up some dry shampoo. He came back and set the things in a chair before going back for some soap, tooth brush and toothpaste.

"Okay Sammy, let's get ya cleaned up and some clean clothes. Maybe it'll make you feel better." Dean said looking down at him. He pursed his lips and looked around studying the bed and the chair for a moment. "We're gonna move to the chair to do this." Dean decided moving the tub from the chair. He moved to the bed and got Sam sitting up and swung his legs off the bed. "Let me do the work here bro. I'm just gonna shift you to the chair..." he grunted grabbing Sam under the arms and moving him to the chair. "Okay, let's get your tee shirt off and wash you down." Dean caught the hem of Sam's tee shirt and pulled it upward and over his head.

"Mmm-Me.." Sam said holding out his hand for the washcloth. He knew you took the cloth and ran it over your skin. At least he remembered how to do this and could do it for himself.

Dean wet the washcloth and soaped it, handing it to Sam and waited as he began to clean his upper body. Sam leaned forward and let Dean wash his back before rinsing the cloth and letting Sam go over his body again. He took a towel and dried him off. With Sam's help, Dean worked his sweats off and down Sam's limp legs. He sat the tub of water closer and kneeled beside him to wash his legs and feet and dry them.

"I'll be right back with some clean clothes." Dean said stepping from the room to the other bedroom to rummage in Sam's dresser for clothes. He came back and laid them on the bed before turning back to Sam.

"I'll put the towel over you so I can get your briefs off and new ones on." Dean told him dropping the towel over his lap to give him a little privacy. He reached under and slipped his fingers into the waistband of Sam's brief and pulled downward until he had them at his ankles and off. "Now for the clean ones." he said working backwards and getting them up his legs and letting Sam hold himself up enough to get them over his butt and settle at his waist. He let Sam put on his tee shirt and lifted each leg to work the sweats over them and up his legs. "Almost done here Sammy. How 'bout you brush your teeth before I get rid of the water." he said squeezing paste onto his brush and handing it to him. He watched Sam look at it for a moment like he was deciding what he should do with it and finally put it in his mouth and brushed them. "Spit in the tub." Dean instructed him as he held the tub in front of him. He passed him his water to rinse his mouth. "I'll let you sit here while I change the sheets. Oh, you wanna brush your hair while you sit there?"

"Yes." Sam said trying to adjust his position in the chair slightly before taking the wide toothed comb from Dean. He watched Dean strip the bed and gather up the towels and sheets to drop outside the door and took the dirty water back to the bathroom to dispose of it in the tub. Dean noticed Sam was staring at the comb and hadn't offered to comb his hair. He took Sam's hand and lifted it to his head and ran it through his hair twice showing him how to use it. Sam worked out a few tangles from the back of his head, wincing when he hit a tender spot. He used his fingers to gently probe the area and found a small lump there. He guess it came from what happened to him. Dean came back with clean sheets and quickly made the bed and fluffed the pillows.

"How ya doing over there Sammy?"

"Weak, how..." Sam answered honestly and tried to ask more but couldn't find the right words. He wanted to talk to Dean, but really didn't have the strength for the confrontation right now. He looked down at his bare feet and willed his toes to move. Sam concentrated hard and finally saw two of his toes move up and down. He let out the breath he was holding with a huff and slumping back in the chair. Just trying to do that seemed to zap the strength out of him.

"Almost done here Sammy and we'll get ya back in bed. Cas should be bringing food shortly and after you eat you need to rest." he rattled on before moving to Sam to shift him back to sit on the side of the bed. "Let's move ya to the headboard so you can sit up." Dean said moving the pillows behind his back. He adjusted his legs, making sure they looked comfortable before leaning up. "You want some socks on?" he questioned thinking his feet might get cold.

Sam didn't answer only shrugged he didn't care as his mind raced with so much jumbled information that didn't make sense at the moment. Things were messed up and he couldn't make things fit. It was like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle scattered out on a table and you couldn't find the pieces that fit together. Dean came back with socks and slipped them onto his feet and stood back surveying his work.

 **spn**

"I have the soup and crackers for Sam." Cas said coming in carrying a tray with food and drink on it.

"Right on time." Dean said taking a clean towel to drape over Sam's chest and cover his lap before allowing Cas to sit the tray on it. "Eat up, you need to get your strength back."

"Bobby showed me how to make it. He had me bring some Gatorade for you to drink." Cas said proudly at being able to help.

"Thanks." Sam told him awarding him with a twitch of a smile. He looked down at the food for a moment before making his fingers pick up a cracker to take a small bite. He looked at the bowl of soup and frowned when no memory of how he was to eat it came to him. Sam looked up slowly not sure what to say and saw Dean watching him and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"What's wrong Sammy?" Dean asked cautiously when he saw Sam's expression of puzzlement and confusion.

"I-I...Don't...Don't know..." Sam stuttered as he tried to put the words together in his head. He looked at the tray and back up at Dean as tears filled his eyes with his frustration as his face reddened. He didn't know what was wrong with him and this just made it that much harder to cope with.

"Hey, what if I help you?" Dean asked sitting down by his side and picking up the spoon to fill it with soup before bringing it to Sam's mouth. He tried to not freak out any more than he already was and wondered what else Sam was going to have to relearn. "Why don't ya go on downstairs Cas? I got this." Dean said trying to get across to him to leave.

"Alright, maybe Bobby needs some help." he said turning to leave when he read Dean's mind that Sam was upset by not remembering how to do simple things, like feed himself. "If you need me you can pray and I'll hear you." he said looking to Sam as he said it. He wanted him to know how to contact him since Cas didn't know if he remembered. He saw Sam nod his understanding and left.

"Don't let this get you down Sammy, you're still recovering and you need to take things one step at a time. It will get better, I know it will." Dean assured him giving him another spoon of soup. "You were pretty badly injured so it might take a bit to get back to normal. We'll talk about it later when you're feeling better so don't freak out about things."

* * *

 **A/N: So Sam's going to have some relearning to do and what will he think when he does remember? I hope you are enjoying the read. Thank you to everyone who has decided to read my story. To any guest who left reviews, thank you. I do like to know your thoughts, please review. NC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Sam watched Dean intently as he used the metal thing by the bowl and how he carefully lifted it to his mouth. He opened and sipped the soup letting the taste coat his taste buds wondering if he really liked it or not. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he ate and his stomach growled with the first bite and he burped softly.

"I can..." Sam decided holding out his hand and taking the spoon from Dean and dipping it into the soup like he did. He brought the trembling spoon up to his mouth and only managed to spill a little before getting it to his mouth. He didn't protest when Dean folded a napkin over his chest to catch the spillage. "Go, I'll...Fine." he told Dean feeling like he needed some alone time. Too much was jumbled up in his head and he want to try and sort it out on his own and he felt uncomfortable having Dean watch him try to eat.

"You sure?" Dean asked not wanting to leave, but felt he should give Sam some space.

"Yes." Sam assured him as he got another spoon of soup to his mouth. He watched Dean break a couple of crackers in the soup for him before getting up.

"I'll go do some laundry then." Dean said standing there for a moment. He sat Sam's cell within easy reach before heading for the door. "If you need me all ya gotta do is punch 1 on your cell. That'll speed dial me downstairs on my cell. I'll be back in a bit." Dean paused just outside the door and heard Sam moan when he thought he couldn't hear him. That confirmed what he was thinking, Sam wasn't as well as he tried to make out.

"Okay." Sam nodded waiting for him to leave before slumping back against the pillows with a soft moan. He didn't want Dean to see just how bad he was feeling or how upset he was with not being able to talk or walk or know how to do simple things. Sam captured a piece of cracker and tried it, wondering if that was how he liked his soup since he couldn't remember. After another bite, he stopped to let that settle on his stomach and sipped a little Gatorade to wash it down. Sam didn't think he could eat it all, but he would try a little more before stopping. One thing he did know was he needed to get his strength back and he needed to find out what happened to him. He could put bits and pieces together but there were large holes that he couldn't fill and this disturbed him. He didn't understand why he couldn't move his legs and why Dean was still here taking care of him. He had no idea how or when he got to Bobby's because this wasn't where he remembered being. He could picture a bar and a woman who maybe worked there, but not much else about it. He tried not to think right now since the more he tried the more his head began to throb. He tried to shut it all down and just worked on eating a little more soup before Dean came back.

 **spn**

The quietness of Bobby's house unsettled Sam as he listened to every creak and groan it made. He wasn't sure why he was so jumpy when this was familiar to him and had always been a safe haven for him. He worked on piecing together what had happened to him since everything was scrambled in his head. He did remember that Dean and him had gone their separate ways because of what he did and Dean's feelings toward him. Sam remembered freeing the devil by mistake and now he was loose doing who knows what on Earth. He had found work at a bar and things got fuzzy after that. Something had happened that ended with him in a hospital he was sure of that. But he was unsure of why Dean was staying with him and helping him. He had made it very plain about how he felt about Sam and he knew it was his decision to leave, but Dean did not try to stop him. That action said more than words ever could. He hoped the other memories would come back to him because he really didn't want to ask Dean about it. Maybe he could ask Bobby or even Cas, he couldn't hide anything when prompted. He jumped in fright and stared wide eyed at Dean as he came back into the room.

"Hey, hey it's only me." Dean said seeing Sam's startled reaction to being surprised. "I wanted to see if you were finished eating." he said cautiously.

"Ye..." Sam started but had to clear his throat to finish. "Yeah, done." he said wiping his mouth and putting the napkin on the tray for Dean to take.

"Why don't ya try to take a nap Sammy? Probably be good for ya, you know let yourself recharge." Dean suggested as he picked up the tray.

"I th...I will." he said and tried to work his way down in the bed, but couldn't get his legs to move.

"Hold on, I got it." Dean said sitting the tray down and moving to Sam to help shift his body lower on the bed so he was flat where he could sleep. "You good?"

"Yes." Sam grunted trying to get comfortable as he moved the pillow under his head. He didn't complain when Dean draped a blanket over his body because he felt cold. He pulled the blanket close to him and scrunched down trying to get warm.

Dean didn't say anything else as he picked the tray back up and started for the door. He paused in the doorway to look back at his brother for a moment, studying him, before going on downstairs. He sat the tray on the counter to unload the dishes and wiped it off. He was lost in thought trying to decide what the next steps should be to help his brother. One thing he for sure needed to get was a wheelchair so Sam wouldn't be confined only to the bed. He needed some fresh air and sunshine to help with the healing process. His thoughts were interrupted by Bobby speaking.

"You wanna make a supply run?" Bobby asked him. "I need to do a tow job an' we're gettin' low on things. Made a list there on the table for ya."

"Maybe Cas can go." Dean offered looking over to Cas who was sitting at the table.

"Ya know what happened last time he went to the store?" Bobby said accusingly.

Dean frowned as he ran through his mind what Bobby was talking about and then the light bulb went off. "Oh yeah...Right..." Dean nodded as the memory came back. They found out that Cas was not a good shopper when he came back with things they didn't want and didn't get things they needed. He got too distracted by displays and brightly colored packaging and so many choices for one thing to send again. "I'll have him go stay with Sam while I'm gone then."

"Be careful. I'll be back later this afternoon." Bobby said heading for the back door.

"Cas, I need to run into town for supplies, how 'bout staying with Sam while I'm gone? He's suppose to be napping, but in case he needs something. I don't want to leave him alone right now yet."

"Of course, I will go up now." Cas told him getting up to go upstairs.

"Call me if there's a problem."

"I will."

Dean picked up the list off the table and glanced over it before going to the fridge and glancing inside to see what was there. He found a pen and scribbled a few more things down before heading into the living room to get his jacket and keys so he could head into town.

 **spn**

Cas walked quietly into the bedroom and sat down in a chair beside Sam's bed. He looked at the young man as he huddled under a blanket, seeing a pinched look on his face. His body trembled for a moment and then stilled. Cas looked around and saw another blanket laying on the dresser and got up to spread it over Sam. He glanced down and saw Sam looking at him.

"I didn't mean to disturb you." Cas said sitting back down in his chair.

"It's...It's o-kay." Sam said clearing his throat so he could talk.

"Dean went into town for supplies. He wanted me to sit with you in case you needed something."

"Cas?"

"Yes Sam?"

"Can't...reme...mber...Jumbled...head..." Sam tried to explain to get him to talk. "Tell me...Please..." he pleaded.

"Well, you and Dean split up, do you remember that?" Cas asked.

"Yes." Sam said sadly looking away wondering why of all things he would remember that.

"You were attacked by some hunters at the bar where you were working. They injured you very badly and you were taken to a hospital. Dean came and we tried to help you. Dean took some of my grace and injected you with it to help you heal."

Sam jerked his head up when Cas said that and looked at him with shock. Not only did he have demon blood in his veins but now he had angel grace too. It seemed his life was never his own and things were decided for him and done to him without his knowledge or consent. He wasn't sure how he felt about that after all he had been through, it was almost more than he could handle right now. Sam let his head fall back on the pillow as Cas continued to talk.

"You started getting better, but you wouldn't wake up. You were in a coma and the doctors weren't sure you would wake up so Dean decided to bring you home where he could try other options. An angel helped Dean get into your mind but he couldn't stay long enough to get you to wake up. Bobby suggested this plant called African Dream Root and I went to get some from a woman called Missouri Mosley. She is an unusual and interesting person. Dean went into your dreams to find you and bring you back." Cas explained as Sam barely listened to what he was saying.

Sam frowned as an ache started behind his eyes the more he concentrated on retrieving the memories. He wondered what Dean had seen in there and if he should be worried. He had no way of knowing what had been playing in his mind during that time. He just hoped it wasn't any of the darker secrets he never wanted known. He moaned slightly in pain and rubbed his temples not realizing Cas had stopped talking and was studying him.

"Are you in pain?"

"Headache." he confessed.

"Shall I get you something for it?"

"Tylenol...Bathr'm ." Sam said closing his eyes willing the pain to stop.

"I will be right back." Cas said getting up to retrieve the medicine and some fresh water. He came back and helped Sam sit up long enough to take the pills. He let his head drop back onto the pillow with a sigh. "Can I get you anything else Sam?"

"No...Cas...why...Dean...here...hel...pin' me?" he struggled to get out frustrated that his brain wouldn't let him say what he wanted to. What he didn't know was the grace that was in his body was working steadily at creating new paths and waking up dormant cells in his brain that would correct this problem very quickly. The grace was feeding off the power of the demon blood and growing stronger within Sam. But what no one knew was what other affects and changes it was going to have on him.

"He's your brother Sam, why wouldn't he be here and helping you?"

"Made it...Cl-clear...No-No-thin' do with me..." Sam huffed out finally, not able to finish the sentence.

"You mean for freeing Lucifer?" Cas asked, finishing his statement.

"No...I chose de...Dis-dis-p-p-onted...C-C-C't for-for-g've..." Sam said looking away as what he did came back. It depressed him because he may have doomed the entire world with his recklessness and one track mind set on revenge, but worst of all he lost the trust of his brother. He saw it now, that motel room, the fight and him walking away from his brother, choosing a demon over his own brother.

"I know Dean regrets letting you leave like he did." Cas said softly trying to ease Sam's troubled mind. "He's blaming himself for what happened to you."

"He'll leave... Won't stay..." Sam mumbled, turning away so Cas wouldn't see his tears. "Rest now." he finally got out not wanting to talk anymore because of the sobs caught in his throat that made it tighten up.

"Alright, I'll just sit here." Cas said not taking the hint to leave. "In case you need anything."

 **spn**

Dean got out of the Impala and went to the trunk to gather the bags and take them inside. He got the door opened and headed for the kitchen depositing the bags on the counter to go back out and get the rest. When he came back in, Cas was putting away items from the bags.

"Cas, is Sam okay?" Dean asked sitting the other bags down and looking toward the stairs.

"He was pretending to be asleep, but finally dozed off about twenty minutes ago."

"Why was he _pretending_ to be asleep?" he questioned. Dean knew Cas could be annoying at times and wondered what happened.

"Did you know he thinks you're leaving now that he's awake." Cas asked as he set the milk in the fridge.

"Why would he think that?" Dean asked surprised by the statement.

"Because of what he did and how you felt about that, about him I think. He asked me to tell him what happened to him and I did. Apparently he still believes what you told him before the separation. He may not remember everything, but it seems he remembers that."

"Sonovab..." Dean mumbled slamming his hand down on the counter in anger. "I wanted to wait until he was stronger to hash all this out. I don't think he's in the right state of mind at the moment and strong enough."

"Maybe you should try anyway. He seems pretty upset and I don't think he remembers all that happened."

"Are you good with putting all this away?" he asked with a sigh, deciding to go talk to Sam.

"Yes, I can do that." Cas said looking in another bag to pull yogurts out and take to the fridge.

He needed to clear the air with him and convince Sam that he wasn't going anywhere. Dean went back out to the Impala and got the wheelchair and shower chair out.

 **spn**

Dean drew in a deep breath as he mounted the stairs to talk to his brother. He hefted the wheelchair and carried it up the stairs, sitting it at the top. He went back down and got the shower chair taking it on to the bathroom and sitting it in the tub. He knew Sam wouldn't get better until they got some things aired out and hopefully he could convince him he wasn't leaving this time. He planned on staying around until Sam was better and then some decisions could be made. Until then, he just wanted to ease his brother's mind and do whatever he could to make things right between them again. Dean paused in the doorway and looked into the room at his sleeping brother. As if sensing he was being watched, Sam rolled his head enough to look toward to door and see Dean standing there looking back at him. Dean saw a look of loss and emptiness in his eyes before he closed them back and turned his head away. This stopped him from going on into the room, deciding he needed rest more than talking right now. He left the wheelchair outside the room and went back downstairs to help Cas. He thought Sam had had enough stress on him for one day and would wait until tomorrow to get him a shower and have Cas bring him downstairs.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to all who are reading my story and I hope you are enjoying it. So Sam is not convinced Dean really wants to be there and feels so helpless right now. Can Dean convince him otherwise? Reviews welcome. NC**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Happy Labor Day to everyone in the US I hope you have had a good long weekend. For a treat I am posting this chapter early. It's the beginning of the guys hashing it out. I hope I did it justice and you enjoy the read. Thank you to all for the support and to any guests who left reviews. I do like to know your thoughts, please review. NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

"Hey, how ya feeling today?" Dean asked when he saw Sam was already awake. He stepped into the room feeling awkward and uneasy, pushing the wheelchair in front of him. He went to the window and opened the curtains to let the morning light stream in and pushed the window up to let some fresh air into the room. He wanted to get the sick smell out of there and hopefully maybe some honeysuckle filled air would help.

"Okay." Sam mumbled looking away from him and then at the chair.

"I thought you might like a shower so you can wash your hair." Dean offered moving the chair to the bed and locking the brakes. "It'd be hard for me to try and do it with you in bed." he said catching himself before he said couldn't walk.

Sam rose up on his elbows and looked at the chair again and then Dean. He wasn't too sure what Dean had planned since he couldn't stand in the shower and didn't want Dean bathing him in the tub like a baby.

Dean saw the uncertain look on Sam's face and continued. "I got a shower chair for you to use dude. All we gotta do is slide you from one chair to the other. You're not a little kid anymore where I can plop you in the tub and let you go for it." he continued trying to lighten up the mood.

Dean pulled the blanket off Sam and held out his arm for Sam to grip as he swung his legs off the bed while pulling Sam upward. When he was sitting on the side of the bed, Dean removed an arm of the chair and helped him slip onto the wheelchair. He replaced the arm and unlocked the brakes so he could pull Sam away from the bed and steer him toward the bathroom. He switched on the heat to warm the bathroom once he had him in the room.

"Okay..." Dean said stopping the chair by the commode. It was a tight squeeze but he managed to get him close enough that he wouldn't have to try and take his full weight to shift him. Even though Sam had lost weight, he was awkward to move. "Let's get your sweats off and I'll sit you on the commode." he decided grabbing the waistband of his sweats and working them over his butt and hips until he could pull them down his legs.

Sam moved his foot, twisting his ankle and looked down in surprise and did it again when Dean had his sweats off. He looked at the other one and frowned as it took a few seconds, but was able to do the same with it. He looked up excited at Dean to see if he saw. It hurt slightly, but at least it seemed the paralysis was starting to go away, even if it was slow at doing it.

"Can you do that again?" Dean asked watching Sam's feet as he slowly moved them around in small circles, but it was a start. Hopefully with a little more time he would be up on his feet and walking again. "Told ya Sammy, just have to give yourself a little time." he smiled. "Now on two, one, two." he grunted shifting Sam's body to the commode, being sure his legs were straight and not twisted. "Can you work your briefs off or do I..."

"No!" Sam said quickly. "Ju-st...Towel." he said as his cheeks reddened.

"Sure, no problem, I'll wait outside while you do your thing." Dean said handing Sam a towel and stepping outside but leaving the door cracked so he could hear better. Dean took the time to contemplate the issues Sam was having and how to help him. He stepped into their bedroom and grabbed clean clothes for Sam to put on. "Can I come in or do ya need more time?" Dean called through the door five minutes later wanting to give Sam privacy until he was finished.

"A minute." Sam replied finding he was able to put words together into small sentences when he really didn't think about it. Maybe that was it, not think about what he was saying and just letting it come out.

Dean leaned against the wall waiting for Sam to tell him to come in. He fidgeted and tapped his foot since he didn't have much patience with standing around. He rocked back and forth on his heels and pursed his lips, huff out a mouth of air until he heard the commode flush and then Sam call to him.

"I'm done." Sam's voice called through the opening of the door.

"Coming." Dean answered stepping into the bathroom and laying Sam's clothes on the counter. He saw Sam's briefs down around his feet and used his foot to pull them out of the way, kicking them toward his dirty sweats. "I'll get you back in the chair and then we'll get you onto the shower chair." Dean explained as he positioned himself in front of Sam and slipped his arms under Sam's to shift him to the wheelchair.

Sam had tried to wrap the towel around him and grabbed it as it slipped on one side. He grunted when Dean got him to the wheelchair and tried to move but couldn't get his lower body to respond.

"You okay there Sammy?"

"I'm fine."

"I'm gonna move your legs into the tub so when I get ya slid over they'll be in place." Dean said repositioning the chair and lifting Sam's legs over the edge of the tub. "Now you." he grunted moving Sam's body onto the shower chair. "Here's your beauty regime, washcloth, towels, is there anything else you need?" he asked sitting bottles within his reach and pulling the shower curtain for him. "Can you reach the handles to turn on the water?"

Sam leaned forward as he held the wall to see if he could reach them without tumbling out of the chair and nodded he could.

"I'll be in the bedroom if you need me. Sammy...Be careful, don't need ya falling off the chair and hurting yourself. I'm here to help you. Don't be ashamed to ask for it 'cause I'm not going anywhere." he told him before stepping toward the door. The curtain was pulled and he didn't see the confused look on Sam's face when he heard his brother's words. "Just call when you're done."

"I will." Sam replied from behind the curtain. He glanced around it to be sure Dean had left and saw the door was opened a crack so he could hear him. He pulled the towel off and then pulled his tee shirt over his head, dropping both in the floor. He leaned forward at the waist, being careful not to get unbalanced and turned on the water, waiting for it to heat. He could feel the coldness on his feet and shivered slightly until it warmed. Sam switched the water to the shower head and quickly closed his eyes and turned his head as it hit him in the face. He shook his head wiping water from his eyes and tilted it to wet his hair. He picked up his shampoo and squeezed some out into his hand. He massaged it into his hair and worked it into his scalp, thinking it felt really good to clean it. He didn't know how long he had been unconscious, but from the feel of his hair it had been awhile. After putting on conditioner, Sam soaped the washcloth and began to wash his body down and examining the small pink lines of scars that now covered his body. He looked at his hands and saw the smallest hint of new skin and wondered what had been done to him. Once he was done, Sam sat under the hot spray for another minute before reaching forward to turn the water off and grab a towel to dry with. He tossed the towel into the wheelchair seat and scooted to the edge trying to see if he could shift out of the tub. It proved harder than expected and almost fell when he lost his balance. Once he saw it wasn't going to happen, Sam draped a towel over his lap and called to Dean for help even though he didn't want to.

"I'm here." Dean said as soon as Sam spoke. He had heard the water shut off and was waiting at the door for the invite in. He had heard Sam swear and movement and was sure he was trying to get into the wheelchair on his own. Dean wanted to go in there, but knew it wasn't the right call. He had to let Sam see he wasn't able to do it and ask for him. He knew he needed to see his limits right now. "Did you get dry?"

"Yeah...ThTh-ink so." he said toweling his hair to get the excess water from it.

"Let me get your briefs on first." Dean said after quickly checking Sam's body and drying a few wet spots.

Sam waited as Dean slipped them over his feet and moved them up his legs, trying not to be embarrassed about it. He had just enough strength to lift himself a little from the seat by holding onto the arms of the chair and pushing his body up so Dean could get them over his bottom and hips and let Dean pull the towel out of the way. It didn't get past Dean the strain on Sam's face as he gritted his teeth and swore under his breath. They did the same for the sweats and Dean let him put on his tee shirt while he slipped his socks on.

"Wanna brush your teeth while we're in here and get that morning mouth taste out? I kept you mouth moistened with swaps in the hospital, but couldn't really brush them."

"Yeah." Sam agreed running his tongue over his teeth and feeling the buildup on them. He let Dean push him to the sink and get him close enough so he could lean over it. He watched Dean in the mirror as he picked up the wet towels and hung them over the rod to dry. Once he was done, he figured he would be put back to bed, but was surprised that Dean called to Cas and had him transport him to the back deck. Dean came out a few minutes later carrying a blanket and a couple bottles of water.

"Thanks Cas, I'll call you." Dean told him nodding he could go.

Cas gave a slight nod and excused himself and left the brothers alone on the deck.

 **spn**

"Thought you might like a little fresh air." Dean said sitting water where he could reach it. He positioned the blanket over Sam's legs to be sure he didn't get a chill. He pulled a chair over and took a seat near his brother, but gave him a little space and opened his water to sip on it. Dean watched Sam out of the corner of his eye as he slumped in the wheelchair and stared out across the backyard taking in slow breaths.

Sam drew in a shaky breath when Cas transported them out onto the deck. He blinked at the bright sunlight and wiped his face as he tried to shift slightly in the chair. He stiffened when Dean spoke behind him and jumped slightly as he laid the blanket over his lap and sat the water near his right arm. Sam didn't answer him when he spoke, just looked across the yard wondering what Dean had planned.

"Look Sammy...I want you to know I'm not going anywhere. We're going to work this out together. I'm going to be right here pushing you and being sure you get whatever you need to get back on your feet. I'm not letting you do this alone bro." Dean said not once looking at Sam until the end.

Sam looked down at his hands that were clutching tightly to the blanket as he listened to Dean talk. He wasn't sure whether to believe him or not. When they parted, he had seemed set on them staying separated, that it was for the best.

"Why would you want to do that? I'm a failure, a screw up, someone you can't depend on, you said you can't trust me, hell, I may have ended the world...You should of let me die...I deserved all of this for what I did..." Sam stormed out angrily, fumbling with the brakes on the wheelchair and rolling it quickly away from Dean not realizing that he had got his thoughts out without any stuttering or misplaced words. He wasn't watching closely as he tried to move away as one wheel went over the edge of the deck and Sam felt his body began to move sideways as the chair started to tip off the deck.

"Whoa! Watch it Sammy, don't need ya taking a nose dive off the deck." Dean complained as he grabbed the back of the chair and jerked it back before it could tumble from the deck. "Hey, you're talking better. See that's a step in the right direction." He pulled Sam back and pushed him back over to the table and locked the brakes again. "No more stupid moves like that, understand? And you're wrong there Sammy, you **did not** deserve what they did to you. You gotta stop thinking that way. Hell I broke the first seal, so it's my fault too." Dean insisted dropping heavily back into his chair to face him. "Look...I know I said some horrible things to you and I can't take them back, but ya gotta know how you...Man, to choose that demon bitch over me, your own brother." Dean said adamantly. He paused for a moment to pull his emotions back before continuing knowing getting angry wouldn't help the situation. "But I understand better now, I guess I see things clearer; you were being manipulated to do what you did. I never should of let you go off on your own and this wouldn't of happened. We're stronger together, always have been, always will be." he finished not wanting to tell him what he saw while dream walking and hoped Sam wouldn't ask about it.

Sam swiped at his face to brush away the tears that had leaked from his eyes. He couldn't look at Dean as he bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling. He couldn't just wipe away those memories and pretend they didn't happen. How could he live with himself if Lucifer destroyed the world because he set him free? He was in no shape to be of any use to hunt him down; hell he couldn't even walk right now. He beat his fist onto his leg as his feelings of helplessness ate at him until Dean caught his hand and just held it, not saying anything. Sam looked away as he blinked back the tears of frustration and wrestled with all the raw, unbridled emotions flooding his mind. It was all so overwhelming that he shut down and just stared out into the yard.

Dean felt his hand go limp and looked up at his face and saw the slack expression and the glazed, unfocused eyes. "Sammy?" he asked cautiously not sure what was going on. "Hey are you okay?" Dean gently caught his face with one hand and turned it enough to be in his line of site. "Sammy." he said stronger this time. "Hey bro you need to stay here, don't go." he begged as he fought the tears that filled his eyes. "Don't go..."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Sam suddenly pulled in a short breath as he blinked rapidly, raising his head up and realized Dean was leaning into him looking anxiously at him and had a hand cupping his cheek. He wasn't sure what just happened but knew they had been arguing and suddenly his mind just quit working. He had no memory, only darkness.

"There you are." Dean said as he breathed a sigh of relief. "You had me scared there for a moment Sammy. Are you okay? Do you wanna go back inside?"

"No...How can-can I be...Be-lieve you? You've lied be-before..." Sam finally whispered as his voice cracked and the sob he couldn't hold in came out. He quickly looked away wiping his face with the back of his hand and hitched his breath to stop the next one from coming out. "I know about the angel grace. Things were decided **for** **me** again. It's like I never get to make my own choices..."

"Damnit Cas...You can be so naive..." Dean muttered knowing he had to have told him. He had planned on leaving that part out and wasn't sure if he would have told Sam or not. Dean hung his head for a moment knowing Sam was right. After all he had said to him and accused him of and kept secrets from him, he knew Sam didn't have any reason to think what he said was true. He had acted just like their father when Sam left for college, telling him if he chose to go with Ruby to not come back. "You know I couldn't let you die if there was any way of saving you. Cas couldn't heal you...I had to do something. You were unconscious, dying, what else could I do?" Dean asked frustration coming out in his voice but knowing he needed to get rid of it and drew in a slow, long breath before continuing. "I've not given you much reason to believe me I guess...But I'm still not going anywhere and I'm gonna help you get back on your feet, no matter how long it takes. I broke a promise I made the first time I ever saw you...And well...I want to make it right. I realize the trust between us will have to be rebuilt, but I'm willing to try if you are."

"Lucifer? Running free..Destroying the world." Sam questioned. "Shouldn't you be trying to stop him?"

"I've contacted some other hunters who are tracking and trying to find him. There's others who are researching a way to stop him. I've got everyone I can working on it and they'll get back to me if they find anything out. All you need to worry about right now is getting better."

Sam slumped in the wheelchair, drawing in on himself as he listened to his brother talk. He hated he was a cripple right now and was having to depend on Dean or someone to help him. He wiggled his feet up and down slowly, willing his legs to move too but they didn't. He didn't even feel the punch he had given his leg a while ago and that worried him.

"Why don't we sit out here another fifteen minutes and I'll have Cas take you back upstairs. I'll rub your legs down again and exercise them before I go start dinner." Dean told him as he settled back in his chair and sipped on his water.

"Fine." Sam mumbled picking up his water and drinking some so he wouldn't have to talk, but it looked like Dean wasn't going to say anything else right now anyway. He sat quietly not able to look at his brother for fear of breaking down. The hurt and pain was still raw in him and made his soul ache with the misery.

Dean did seem sincere, but could he really get past the betrayal? Could they somehow have that trust once again or would there always be that seed of doubt there and Dean waiting for him to screw up again so he would have a reason to leave him? Sam's head hurt and he felt like he was slipping away again and tried to hold on to reality as he gripped the water bottle too tightly making it spew out on the blanket in his lap. Dean didn't say anything as he removed the wet blanket and hung it on the railing to dry.

 **spn**

Sam drew in a quick breath as Cas transported him back to the bedroom and waited for Dean to join them. The angel stood beside Sam feeling awkward and not sure what to say. He could feel Sam's anguish and guilt and misery and knew that was something he couldn't take away.

"Going to bathroom Cas." Sam told him as he rolled the chair backward so he could move around the bed to go out the door.

"I can push you there." Cas offered starting to reach for the chair handles.

"No..." Sam said quickly. "I-I'll do it myself, please."

"As you wish." Cas said stepping back and watching Sam work the chair to the door and out of the room.

"What ya doing Sammy?" Dean asked as he climbed the stairs to see Sam pulling the chair from the room.

"Bathroom." he said as he rolled down to the door.

"Let me help you get through the door." Dean told him not waiting for him to reply as he grabbed the handles and got the chair turned where it would go into the bathroom. "Do you need help?"

"No, I can d-do it." Sam said waiting for him to leave and close the door.

"I'll be right outside if you need me." Dean said not wanting to leave him, but knew he needed to let him try. He closed the door leaving a small crack so he could hear better.

Sam moved the chair back and forth until he had it at the commode and looked from it to the chair, trying to decide the best way to do this. He knew the arm came off and started pushing and pulling on it until he had it off and put it on the counter out of the way. Sam grabbed the sink with one hand and pushed on the chair with the other and shifted his body to the commode. He sat there a moment to catch his breath before struggling to get his sweats and briefs down so he could relieve himself. He leaned to the sink to wash his hands before getting his briefs and sweats back up. He studied the chair and how much energy it took to shift himself and felt his arms tremble. Not wanting to do it, but decided it was better than falling in the floor he called to Dean.

"Dean..." he called with a huff.

"Yeah?" he asked sticking his head into the room.

"Need help..." he said dully hating every minute of this torture. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't woke up. Was he going to get well enough to hunt again? He couldn't see Dean staying around if he never got out of this chair and the depression kicked in causing him to shiver and tears form in his eyes. He blinked them away and tried to hide the turmoil bouncing around in his head.

"No problem bro." he replied stepping in and bracing himself in front of him and looping his arms under Sam's and shifting him quickly to the chair. He sat his feet up on the foot rests and stepped back to allow Sam to push it to the door and through it. Once he had the chair in the hall, Dean pushed it back to the bedroom and to the side of the bed. Sam let Dean shift him to the bed and eased back on it, letting his head rest on the pillow with a sigh.

"Thanks Cas, you can go on downstairs, I'll be down after I massage Sammy's legs." Dean told him moving the chair out of the way so he could get to Sam easier.

"Alright." Cas answered leaving them alone.

"You ready Sammy?" Dean asked him as he positioned himself to work on his right leg first.

"Whatever..." Sam mumbled sounding disheartened and depressed.

It didn't get by Dean the tone of Sam's voice, but he didn't say anything about it. He didn't want to make him feel any worse than he was by pointing it out. He took his right foot and began to gently rub it, making it twitch when he hit sensitive spots, and making Sam jump. At least he was still able to move his toes and foot and had feeling in them, so hopefully he would get back the use of his legs too. Sam had never liked anyone messing with his feet even when he was a baby. He worked his way up the foot and to the ankle carefully rotating it as he moved up to the calf. Dean massaged the muscle of his calf with slow steady pressure and bent the leg at the knee, pushing it up toward Sam's chest. He did this ten times pushing the leg a little higher each time to stretch and work his leg muscles to keep them from atrophying. Dean moved on up to his thigh, glancing at Sam to see how he was doing.

Sam lay still, staring up at the ceiling letting Dean work on his legs, not feeling what he was doing. Dean finished one leg and moved to the next repeating the process until he was done. He looked down at Sam to see his eyes were closed and he was breathing slowly. Dean saw Sam's eyes were moving back and forth under his eyelids as he twitched ever so slightly. He hoped the bad dreams would stay away and let Sam have some peaceful rest. He grabbed a blanket from the bottom of the bed and spread it over him before quietly leaving him to rest until he had dinner ready.

 **spn**

Dean found Castiel sitting at the kitchen table waiting on him. He went to the fridge and grabbed two beers before joining him.

"Here ya go, have one so I don't have to drink alone." Dean told Castiel as he sat a beer in front of him.

"How is Sam?" Cas asked accepting the offering from Dean.

"To be honest...I don't know. He's resting now. His speech is getting better at times, but you know I don't know what else he might've forgotten how to do. I think he's getting better physically, but his mental state...He zoned out on me for like nearly five minutes before coming back and that scared the shit out of me. What if he does it again and doesn't come back? I know he's depressed because of his condition, I mean who wouldn't be...I'm just not sure how to pull him out of it." Dean sighed as he twisted the top of the beer off and took a long swallow before continuing. "I tried talking to him, but I don't know...I'm not sure he believed anything I told him. Guess I haven't given him much reason to trust me."

"Don't give up hope Dean. Remember Sam is suffering from all that has happened to him and has to come to terms with that. You will need to have patience with him and let him see you will be there for him."

"I know, but...Man Cas, to see the way he looks at me sometimes breaks my heart." Dean mumbled wiping a hand down his face. "Guess I need to start some dinner. Wanna help?"

"Of course, what can I do?" Cas asked getting up as Dean did and going into the kitchen.

"How 'bout peeling some potatoes while I work on the meat."

"Alright." Cas said looking around for a bowl and knife and the potatoes.

"They're in the laundry room; in a basket on the bottom shelve." Dean said when he saw Cas looking sort of lost. "I'll get you a bowl and knife. Just don't peel all the potato away dude."

"I will do my best." he replied stepping into the laundry room to find the basket of potatoes. He brought them back out and sat them beside the bowl Dean sat out and picked up the paring knife. He held the knife carefully and began to take the peeling from the potato, trying to do what Dean requested. Cas wasn't a big help in the kitchen but you couldn't fault him for trying extra hard.

Dean smirked to himself knowing it would take him twice as long or longer to peel the potatoes to cook. He was being so painstakingly careful to do what Dean had asked and only take a small amount off with the peeling. It would at least give him something to do while he got the meat and other vegetables ready to cook.

 **spn**

"Cas you think another shot of your grace might help Sammy to walk faster?" Dean questioned as he stirred the pots on the stove.

"I do not know Dean. I told him we gave him my grace to help heal him?"

"About that...I wasn't going to tell him until he seemed more stable. I was afraid of how he might react and didn't want to upset him. He's already going through so much right now; I didn't want to add to his distress."

"I didn't know that when I told him. He didn't seem upset about it. Did I overstep again?"

"It's okay; I know you were trying to help Cas."

"If the feeling is coming back, maybe you should let it do it on its own."

"You're probably right, but I can see how being helpless like that is wearing on him and stressing him. Sam was never one who liked to be dependent on someone else. It's just not in his nature."

"Hopefully it won't be for much longer, some things can't be rushed. We just have to have patience and faith that it will be alright."

"Yeah, I guess so." Dean mumbled. He was not one who sat around and waited for things to happen. He was a man of action and liked to get things done and out of the way. Taking things slow was just not his style, but if that's what it took to help Sam, then he would step back and take things on step at a time. He finished prepping the meat and put it in the oven to cook.

Dean went into the living room and grabbed his laptop deciding to do some research about Sam's conditions and what after effects he should be looking for. If he knew more then maybe any other symptoms wouldn't scare him as bad like the one on the deck did. He wanted to better prepare himself for what might be coming down the road.

* * *

 **A/N: So the talk didn't go as well as Dean hoped and will Sam be able to get past all that has happened to him? Thank you to all who are reading my story and I hope you are being entertained. Your thoughts are my bread and butter, if you have a moment please leave me a review. NC**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Cas was concentrating on his job with the potatoes when he stopped and cocked his head as if listening to something only he could hear. He laid the knife down and looked to Dean for a moment before speaking.

"I need to...Ummm...Go somewhere...I will be back..." Cas announced before quickly disappearing.

"Whatever man." Dean said looking up as he vanished, wondering what he was up to. He stopped trying to figure Cas's weird actions out a long time ago and hoped he stayed out of trouble. Sometimes it was hard for the angel to understand human actions or know when someone was being sarcastic with him. But he had to admit, he tried so hard to fit in and help them where he could.

 **spn**

The air by the bed stirred as Cas appeared and looked down at Sam checking to see if he was alright.

"I heard you praying for me Sam." Cas said. "How can I help?"

"I need you to take me somewhere without telling Dean." Sam said raising up on his elbows to look at him. He stopped talking for a moment when he realized the words came out right and sounded right. Maybe whatever had happened was getting some better. At least he could talk without sounding like an idiot; he just hoped it stayed that way. Sam didn't know that the grace Dean had injected him with was still working on repairing the damage done to him and creating new pathways that would help him later on.

"Why should we not tell Dean?"

"He wouldn't let me go if we told him."

"Where do you wish to go?" Castiel asked puzzled with his response.

"Garber."

"Isn't that where you were attacked? Are you sure that's a wise decision?"

"Yes, I need to get my things from where I was staying and...I need to do it for me...Things are still fuzzy and mixed up...I think it'll maybe help me..." Sam said looking away for a moment as he tried to deal with his internal demons. "I need your help, I can't do by myself, please Cas." he pleaded giving him his best _'help me'_ look.

"Of course, I will help you Sam." Cas replied reaching down and helping Sam sit up. He easily moved him to the wheelchair and laid a hand on his shoulder making them disappear from the room.

Sam sucked in a quick breath as they appeared at the side of the motel he had been staying at here in Garber. He waited until his stomach settled and the dizziness left him before looking around. "Thanks Cas." he managed to get out.

"Shall we get your things so we can return?" Cas asked him when Sam didn't move. He hoped to get Sam back before Dean missed them and got angry. He didn't think he would be very pleased with this outing.

"I can do this if you want to go back." Sam said using his hands to propel the wheelchair forward.

"No, I think Dean would want me to stay with you. You might need my help." Cas said knowing for sure he shouldn't leave Sam alone. It was bad enough they left without telling Dean and he definitely wasn't leaving him alone where he could possibly get hurt again. He knew Dean would never forgive him if that happened.

"Alright, I'm in room seven at the end if you'll push me that way." Sam said pointing to the end unit and waited as Cas started pushing the wheelchair down the walkway toward the room.

Cas wasn't sure if he did the right thing bringing Sam here without telling Dean, but he got the feeling that Sam needed to do this on his own. He could tell he was carrying a heavy load because of all that happened and his part in it. Castiel's heart was heavy too, because he had a hand in what happened and actually felt guilty about it now. Human emotions were strange to him, but he was trying to learn to deal with them. He had let Sam out of the panic room and had not helped Dean when asked until it was too late to stop Sam from freeing Lucifer. He stopped in front of the door and looked at Sam.

"Would you mind Cas, I don't have my key." Sam sighed looking at the locked door.

Without further comment, Cas gripped the doorknob and opened it. He stepped into the room and held the door so Sam could roll into it. Once Sam was inside, Cas let the door close and glanced around the room. He saw a duffle and clothes laid across a chair, running shoes by the bathroom, but nothing personal that would tell you who was staying there. Sam moved to the chair and gathered up his clothes and his duffle shoving them in it without folding them.

"Can you get my bathroom stuff?"

"Oh course." Cas said stepping into the bathroom and gathering the few items in there and stowing them in the Sam's bathroom bag. He looked around to be sure he didn't miss anything before taking the bag into the other room to Sam who dropped it into his duffle. Cas quickly bend down and picked up his running shoes when he saw Sam almost topple out of the chair trying to get them.

"Cas, can you cloak me like you do when you don't want to be seen? There's one other place I need to go and I don't want people to see me." Sam asked carefully.

 **spn**

Dean stirred the pots on the stove and turned them down before finishing up the potatoes so he could put them on to cook. He cleaned up Cas's mess and frowned for a moment when a odd feeling made him stop and head for the stairs. He climbed them two at a time as a sinking sensation caused his stomach to clench. He stopped in the doorway of the bedroom and saw an empty bed and no little brother. He hurried to the bathroom and still didn't find Sam, nor in the other bedroom. He tried not to panic as he pulled his cell to call Cas knowing Sam didn't have a cell. He listened to it ring and go to voicemail.

"Cas, I know you did this. You better call me now...If you know what's good for you..." Dean growled into the cell as his anger won out over panic. He knew Sam was behind this and he asked Cas to take him somewhere, but where? "Cas you're in big trouble dude...I don't know what you two are doing but you better take care of Sammy." he prayed heading back downstairs to check on dinner and wait for them to come back. His mind raced as worse case scenarios swarmed through it. He questioned if Sam wanted to leave to get away from him again and if so, where would he go. He tried calling Cas again on his cell as he paced the kitchen trying to hold back a full blown panic attack. He mumbled to himself to try and calm his mind. Dean sent a text with a few choice words in it to Cas's cell and waited to see if he would get a response. Both of them were going to have some explaining to do when they got back, if both did come back. He knew Cas was a push over and could be manipulated into to doing things he shouldn't and his little brother knew just how to work his magic and get him to do whatever he wanted. If Cas came back without Sam...Dean tried not to think about that as his soul seemed to rip into and his heart shattered. He sent another text to Cas with the mention of holy oil and roasting him on a stick, but still he didn't get a response and just about lost it.

 **spn**

A ringing of a cell had Cas digging into his suit pocket for his cell. He looked at it and looked at Sam when he saw who was calling.

"It's Dean should I answer it?"

"No! He doesn't need to know I'm doing this. Just let it go to voicemail." Sam said quickly as he rolled close enough to take the cell from him. He tucked it beside him in the wheelchair and ignored the beeping and put it on vibrate so it wouldn't ring out loud. He wasn't letting Dean interfere with what he had to do.

"You know he will be worried about you Sam."

"I doubt that, I'm just a burden to him. Bobby shouldn't of called him when...He just shouldn't of called." Sam huffed not wanting to get into this right now. "So can you cloak me too?"

"Yes, as long as I am within a few feet of you, I can keep us both from being seen." Castiel replied picking up the duffle and hanging it on the back of the wheelchair out of the way.

"It's not far, I use to walk there everyday I worked." Sam said as he let Cas push him to the door and out onto the walkway. Sam knew the way by heart and mumbled softly where to turn as they made their way toward the bar that Sam used to work at. His stomach clenched the closer they got and a coldness seemed to build up inside of him as he willed himself to remember.

Castiel remained silent during the trip and could feel Sam tensing up when the bar came into view. He looked around to be sure they were safe and slowly moved Sam closer and stopped on the sidewalk near the front of the bar. Sam could just see into the main area and saw Mindy serving some people before heading back into the kitchen. He felt sad to have lied to her and put her in harm's way, but he figured the less she knew about his past the better off she was. He wasn't looking for a relationship and was happy to just be friends. A wave of images poured into his head and he grunted in pain as they became clearer.

"Down that alley Cas." Sam said softly as he raised a trembling hand to point.

Cas began to push him again and made his way down the alley to the back of the buildings where Sam had been beaten, crucified and left for dead. He stopped at the wall and looked at it, still seeing the holes in the wall where Sam had been nailed. He winced thinking of the suffering that Sam had gone through and wished he could have stopped it.

 **spn**

Sam's body trembled as he gazed at the area seeing small broken pieces of yellow police tape still tied around the place. He closed his eyes trying to pull the memories to the front of his mind as images of the three hunters came into focus. Two looked familiar, but it was beyond his reach how he knew them. He knew they wanted something, but couldn't remember what and they threatened Mindy. He cringed when his body felt the punches again and then the blackness. He came to out here in the alley long enough to try and fight but wasn't a match for three of them. Sam absently rubbed his palms where he could feel the scars. A pounding echoed in his ears and intense pain raced up his arms and body and then blackness engulfed him. Sam was breathing hard and didn't know he was crying until he felt the wetness on his cheeks. He wiped at them before looking at the wall again. Sam rolled the chair closer to where he could lay his hand against it and willed his body to stop shaking. An image of his arms spread out in a T and pieces of metal nailed through them invaded his mind and he cried out softly not able to control his shaking body.

"Sam, are you alright?" Cas asked when he saw his reaction and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe we should go now."

"You know they were right...Everything they said to me...I may have ended to world...This is all my fault..." he said softly and just loud enough to be heard as his throat tightened and he swallowed back a sob.

"No Sam it's not all your fault. It regrets me to say, I had a part to play in all this too. Not only did the demons trick and manipulated you. They got you hooked on demon blood so you could be used for their evil deeds. The angels did the same to Dean and had me believing what we were doing was right. You thought you were doing the right thing in killing Lilith. You were doing it for Dean for what she did to him. Both of you were pawns in their game to bring Heaven to Earth. You can't be so hard on yourself Sam. You have to let it go and work on getting better. Both of you were saved for a reason and I think that was to put Lucifer back in the cage." Castiel relayed to him, being forthright and honest with him.

"Thanks Cas, I know you're trying to help but..." Sam started and cleared his throat before he could go on. "It's just not that easy for me..." he looked away and tried to pull his emotions back and lock them away but at the moment it was hard to do. He touched the wall again and knew this was the place that his life changed forever. How he dealt with this was going to influence his future. It was a future he couldn't see, but what he could wasn't a pretty site. He was facing a life alone because he knew Dean wouldn't be in it. He still couldn't wrap his mind around that Dean wanted to team up with him again. "Cas what happened to the guys who...The ones who attacked me?"

"Dean took care of them." Cas said not going into details about what he helped Dean do to the hunters who attacked Sam.

"Oh..." Sam said not needing further information about what had happened. Dean would have taken his anger and vengeance out on those who hurt him. He knew there was no way he would have let that go no matter how he felt about him, it was a matter of principle, no one messed with him and got away with it.

* * *

 **A/N: Did Sam do the right thing going back there to face his past? Thank you to any guests who left me reviews, I appreciate them. Please review. NC**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Sam, I think we should be heading back." Cas told him as he laid a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "Dean has been praying some very disturbing prayers to me. I don't think he appreciated me helping you and not telling him. I'm not sure I understand the references he is making, but it doesn't sound pleasant and I don't think this body bends that way."

"Okay Cas, I guess you're right." Sam finally agreed with a sigh. He pushed back from the wall and turned toward the entrance to the alley. He wasn't going to learn anymore here than what he had already remembered and it didn't help his emotional state to stay any longer, but it did give him some of what he sought, closure for him. "We can go back to Bobby's, I don't have any place else to go." he said sadly as he blinked back the tears. If he could have walked, he would have left and gone somewhere else so Dean wouldn't have to be around him and think he needed to take care of him.

Castiel gladly gripped his shoulder and transported them back to Bobby's living room. He looked around as Dean stepped from the kitchen with a dark look on his face, but with relief underlying that. He saw Sam seemed shaken and pale from where ever they had gone.

"What the hell Cas? You're supposed to be on my side..." Dean growled madly at the angel. "Damnit Sam! Do you know how worried I've been not knowing where you were or why you left or if..." Dean swallowed hard and choked back the words before he could continue. "If you were coming back." he said softer than the other words. He hated admitting his thoughts but wanted Sam to know how he felt.

"Don't blame Cas Dean. I convinced him to take me. It was something I needed to do on my own." Sam spoke up when he saw how upset Dean was.

"We'll talk about this later Sammy, right now we're going to eat before I have to throw everything away and I didn't bother spending all that time cooking to do that." Dean stated grabbing Sam's chair to push it toward the kitchen. He paused when he saw the duffle hanging on an arm and took it off tossing it aside knowing where he had gone now. He moved Sam to the table and guided the chair under the edge of it.

Sam didn't say anything as he watched Dean go to the stove and started fixing a plate he figured was for him. Dean grabbed a green tea from the fridge and sat the plate and tea in front of Sam. He looked down at the food and hoped his stomach could take it. He saw a baked chicken breast, mashed potatoes and gravy, a small salad and a roll. It actually didn't look bad and when he got a whiff of the food his stomach rumbled softly wanting to be fed.

Dean went back and fixed another plate for himself and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He sat them on the table at an empty seat and looked at Cas standing to the side. "Well, you want me to fix you a plate or do you want to do it?"

"You know I don't..."

"Yeah, yeah...Well this once you are joining us, it can't hurt you." Dean insisted giving him a better do as I say look.

"I will fix my own." Cas said heading to the stove and picking up a plate to dish some food onto it. He got a beer out of the fridge like Dean and joined them at the table, sitting down beside Sam. He figured it was better to appease Dean right now and maybe he wouldn't be quite as mad at him for helping Sam.

 **spn**

Sam cut his chicken into small pieces and took a tentative bite and chewed slowly, actually enjoying the taste of it. It seemed his taste buds were starting to appreciate food again. He swallowed and sipped his tea before forking some mashed potatoes and gravy and eating it. The food did taste good and each bite made him want more.

Dean didn't say anything as he devoured his food, not once looking up at Sam or Cas as he tried to control his anger and let himself calm down. Sam cast Cas a sideways glance to see him concentrating on eating his food. He knew he was in hot water with Dean for leaving like he did and he hoped he could make him understand that it was something he had to do. He tore off a small piece of roll and popped it in his mouth chewing thoughtfully.

"Foods good." Sam finally said breaking the tense silence in the room.

"Yes, as human food goes, it is quit tasty." Cas added.

"Where's Bobby?" Sam asked.

"Had to go help out on a hunt." Dean grunted not bothering to lookup from his plate.

"Oh."

"After we finish and I clean up...We're having a talk Sammy." Dean stated sternly. "Don't think I've forgotten about you either." he addressed Castiel, pointing his fork at him. "You're next when I'm finished with him."

Sam and Cas both looked guiltily down at their plates with his words and knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. Sam hoped to get the worse of it since he did pull Cas into helping him.

"When you're done, why don't you go sit out on the porch and wait for me." Dean told his brother when he saw him pushing the food around on his plate and not eating. He didn't eat all the food but it was better than he had been doing. Dean kept his anger in check knowing it wouldn't do any good to blow up at him.

Sam didn't say anything, just nodded his head and pushed himself from the table to roll toward the door. Cas started to get up to help but Dean held an arm out stopping him.

"He needs to do it himself." Dean said quietly watching as Sam struggled with the door for a moment before getting it open and the wheelchair through it. After he made it onto the deck, Dean got up and began to gather the dishes and take them to the sink.

"I can help." Cas offered getting up too and joining him.

"You can dry." Dean told him handing him a dish towel.

Cas waited patiently as Dean filled the sink with hot water and added dish detergent. He sat the dirty dishes into the water and began to wash and rinse them. Cas watched with interest sensing the mixed emotions rolling through Dean's mind. He was definitely angry but there was also a sense of relief that Sam came back but something else he just couldn't place.

"So, where did Sammy want to go?" Dean asked as he continued to wash the dishes. He wanted to see if his suspicions were correct.

"He wanted to go to Garber to get his things and..." Cas started but wasn't sure he should tell him the rest.

"Damnit!" Dean muttered in disgust. "And you took him?"

"I think he wanted to see where it happened. It was something he had to do is what he told me." he said picking up a plate and drying it before putting it away in the cabinet. They continued this routine until everything was cleaned and put away. Dean put the leftovers in the fridge before stopping and casting a glance around to be sure everything was in order.

"I'm going to talk to Sammy now." Dean told him. "Why don't you go see what's on the tube?"

"Alright." Cas replied strolling toward the living room.

Dean squared his shoulders and let a long breath out before pushing from the counter and heading toward the back door and his little brother.

 **spn**

Sam was sitting at the edge of the deck looking out into the stacked, crushed vehicles that lined the yard. Darkness was ascending on the area and night creatures were beginning to come out as the day creatures sought the shelter of their homes. Sam watched little lights begin to flicker in the grass and smiled to himself as they brought back memories of happier times when he would chase those blinking lights crying out with delight as they flew around his head. Dean had let him catch some, but made sure to let them go before they went to bed. He couldn't have been more than five or six and their father had left them with Bobby for nearly a month.

He heard the door open and close and scrunched his shoulders knowing he was going to get a tongue lashing from Dean. He waited, afraid to turn around and heard the creak of a chair nearby as Dean settled into it. Sam looked sideways out of the corner of his eye and saw Dean had slouched in one of the lounge chairs and was studying the yard and not him. He didn't know what was worse Dean being silent or Dean lecturing and chastising him for leaving. It un-nerved him as the silence continued between them.

"Well are you going to yell at me or what?" Sam finally said in a flat, dull voice, not able to take the silence between them anymore.

"No Sammy I not gonna yell." Dean replied. "What good would it do, I know when you set your mind to something...Nothing stops you from doing it. You felt you needed to go back to that place. I don't understand why 'cause I can see it's brought you more pain. You should've told me what you were doing. I know I'd try an' talk you out of it, or forbid you to go. You scared me Sammy..." Dean told him hoping he was listening to what he had to say. "I don't know what I can say to convince you that I'm not going anywhere. I finally realized that we should be together because we're stronger that way. I know what I said and did hurt you deeply and for that...I am sorry bro. I thought it was the right thing to let you leave, but now I know I was wrong. If I had been more understanding and took time to cool off and think about it, this wouldn't have happened to you. I would've been there to protect you and you wouldn't be in a wheelchair." Dean said in a quiet, even tone with no anger or condescendence in it. There was more of a sad and guilty underlying tone in his words. "But you can't go off on your own like that and not tell me. I thought something happened to you..." Dean's voice caught and he stopped talking as his throat tightened up making it hard to breath. "I'm tired Sammy...So tired of everything..." he sighed rubbing a hand down his face. "If you want me to leave, if it will help you I will..."

Sam turned to look sideways at his brother as he digested the words he spoke. He couldn't believe Dean was saying this to him and frowned because he knew Dean was telling him the truth. It was written on his face and that was one thing Sam could read better than anyone. Even with their differences and discord between them, they still had that special bond that wouldn't be broken. Sam cleared his throat trying to decide how to answer Dean.

"I don't blame you for what happened to me Dean. And no...I don't want you to leave..." he said slowly finally looking up at his brother. "You might not understand why, but I needed to go back...I needed to see the place that it happened. I needed closure for me. It did help me remember parts of it, but there's still a few blanks I can't fill in. I did release Lucifer and I needed to be punished for that..." Sam said as he absently rubbed the scars on his hands but was interrupted by Dean cutting him off.

"Stop it Sam! You're wrong there and I don't want to hear you talking like that!" Dean said strongly and with conviction. "None of us are innocent here. We've all done things that we shouldn't have, but that doesn't mean any of us deserve to be punished for it; especially not like you were. You almost died Sammy; no one should be treated like that, no matter what they might have done." Dean insisted. "Once you're back to a hundred percent we'll go after Lucifer and put him back where he belongs. We'll do it together Sammy."

Sam couldn't stop the tears that filled his eyes and was glad he was facing away from Dean where he wouldn't see them. He wiped his face and swallowed the sob before it could come out. Something seemed to crack inside Sam's mind and his doubt regarding his brother was starting to dissolve away. Maybe he could let himself believe what Dean was telling him, that he did want to join back up with him and then he thought of the wheelchair he sat in.

"What if I never get out of this wheelchair?" Sam asked quietly, gripping the arms tightly as he tried to see a future stuck in this chair.

"You're going to get better Sam, you have to believe that and allow your body to heal. You went through a traumatic event bro; it's not going to happen overnight. But even that wouldn't drive me away. Can you feel anything at all in your legs?"

"No." Sam whispered as he moved his toes and foot a little but still didn't have any sensation in his legs.

"That's okay, it will come back." he encouraged hoping he was right. He wouldn't share his doubts with Sam. "Looks like the light show's over, why don't we head inside and I'll do your exercises before getting you settled for the night."

"Alright." Sam nodded finally noticing the darkness that had descended around them. "Dean, don't be too hard on Cas. He thought he was helping me and I kind of manipulated him into doing it." He pushed backward on the wheels and let go when Dean stepped behind the chair and steered it toward the back door. He got Sam inside and rolled him into the living room.

"Wanna take Sam upstairs Cas?" Dean asked when he found him watching some movie on the tube.

"Of course." he said getting up looking at both brothers thinking their talk must have helped. He reached for Sam and moved them upstairs into the bedroom and waited for Dean to climb the stairs and join them.

A few minutes later Dean joined them in the bedroom and sat a bottle of water on the nightstand. "Thanks Cas and don't think I forgot about you, I'll be down to talk to you after I'm done with Sammy." Dean commented in passing. "You can go back to watching your movie, I got this."

"Okay." Cas said leaving the two brothers alone not sure what Dean was going to do to him.

"Guess you need to use the bathroom first." Dean suggested guiding the chair around the bed and down the hall. He positioned it by the commode and helped Sam get his sweats off before shifting him to the commode. "Can you handle the rest?"

"Yes, I'll call when I'm done." Sam replied hating to feel this helpless and dependent on others. It made him feel weak and useless.

"I'll get you some clean clothes to change into. Just call me when you're ready." he said before stepping from the room and partly closing the door to give him some privacy. He went into their bedroom and rummaged around in Sam's dresser finding clean clothes and pushing the dirty ones into a pile to take downstairs and wash. He stopped at the linen closet and grabbed clean sheets to change Sam's bedding while he was finishing up in the bathroom.

 **spn**

"Alright, let's get you back in bed." Dean grunted as he shifted Sam from the wheelchair to the side of the bed. Sam balanced himself there while Dean moved the chair out of the way and accepted the clean tee shirt he held out to him. Dean had turned the covers back and Sam waited for him to pick his legs up before stretching out on the bed. He adjusted the pillow to make it more comfortable and lay there knowing he couldn't help now.

Dean threw a blanket over Sam's lower body so he could slip his briefs off and put clean ones on him. He knew Sam hated feeling this helpless as he watched him turn his head and clench his jaw tightly. Dean started with his right foot and began to massage and carefully stretch the foot as he worked up his leg. He paid special attention to the calf and thigh muscles, giving them a little extra attention hoping Sam would begin to feel something in them soon. When he was done with that leg, he moved to the other and started the process all over again. He slipped on some light sleep pants and settled them at his waist.

"Why don't you roll over and let me massage your back and get some of that stiffness and tension out?" Dean suggested. "It's must be tired from just sitting around."

"Okay." Sam shrugged as he struggled to get on his side, and with Dean's help got rolled onto his stomach. He turned his head and waited as Dean slipped his hand under his tee shirt and began to massage his lower back first, working on his tight muscles. Sam grunted when he hit a tender spot but could feel something give and release the longer he did it. He sighed contently as the tightness began to disappear and he started to relax. Dean's fingers dug into his shoulder muscles working the knots and stress from them.

"I'm done Sammy; do you want on your side or back?" Dean asked once he finished with his back.

"S'de..." Sam mumbled as he pushed his body over and let Dean move his legs. He was grateful when he positioned a pillow between them and got them comfortable before covering him with a blanket. As he was drifting off a tingling sensation ran down his legs and his toes twitched like a current rushed down them. He was too far gone to really understand what was happening and he didn't register the feeling in his legs.

"Get some rest Sammy. I put a cell by the bed if you need me." Dean told him as he tucked the blanket around his body. He brushed his hair from his face and ran his hand down his arm before stepping away to let him sleep.

Sam watched him leave through half closed eyes and let them completely close when Dean disappeared. His body was totally relaxed and all he wanted to do was let himself fall into the sea of nothingness and not think about any of the events that had happened in the past and what was happening now. His heart wanted to believe what Dean told him, but his mind still wasn't completely convinced. He let Dean's words play across his mind as he sunk deeper into the realms of sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: I could of made it much worse, but that's not this Dean and he doesn't want to drive Sam away. I hope you enjoyed the read. Thank you to the guests who have left reviews, they are greatly appreciated. I do like reviews, please leave one. NC**


	17. Chapter 17

**Special Note: I hope everyone across the country will pause for a moment in remembrance of the tragedy that took place 17 years ago. Remember all those who lost their lives to this act of terrorism. It is a sad day for so many that were affected by this act of violence and my thoughts and prayers go out to them all. As a nation we should NEVER FORGET.**

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

Cas looked up when he heard the footsteps coming down the stairs and guessed it was his turn to feel Dean's wrath. He watched him approach and stopped short of the couch. Cas looked up into Dean's face to see how mad he was at him.

"Before you say anything, I realize now I should have told you what Sam wanted." Cas tried to explain. It was still hard for him to understand all the human emotions that he had never felt before.

"It's okay Cas; I know you thought you were doing the right thing. But in the future...No matter what Sam wants, **you tell me about it**." Dean told him stressing the last sentence to get his meaning across giving him a no argument look.

"I will. You know Sam didn't mean to worry you leaving like that. He wanted to get his things from the motel he was staying at, but I think he really wanted to revisit where it took place. I'm not sure how much he remembers about how he got injured."

"I get that. I would of taken him when he was better if he'd ask. But I guess he couldn't wait." Dean said finally dropping into the recliner sitting by the couch and huffing out a short breath.

"How are things between you and Sam?" Cas questioned.

"I'm not sure. I told him I wasn't leaving and we needed to stay together, but I'm still not sure he believes me. I offered to leave if that would make him feel better, but he didn't want me to. I guess that's a step in the right direction. I think the trust for both of us is going to have to be worked on. I don't know what else to do to convince him I'm serious." Dean sighed rubbing a hand down his tired face. "Cas do you think another shot of grace would help him walk again? That is if you've recharged or replaced it, whatever you do."

"I do not know, what we have already given him should of healed most of his injuries, but there might be some it is either taking longer with or won't help at all. I don't have any prior knowledge of how grace works on humans when it's injected. We didn't give him enough to hurt him, that I'm certain of, but it still may take time Dean."

"I was afraid you'd say that. Man Cas...I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't get out of that chair..."

"Things will work out Dean. They always seem to." Cas tried to reassure him.

"Yeah I guess. It's just so hard seeing him like that and not being able to fix it." Dean surmised pushing himself from the recliner. "Guess I'll head on to bed, might as well get some sleep while I can."

"Will Bobby be back tonight?"

"Not sure, he said he'd call if there were any problems."

"I will go watch over Sam so you can rest." Cas said getting up to follow him upstairs.

"Probably a good idea. Wake me if you need me."

"I will, and Dean...Don't give up hope. Just keep showing him you'll be there for him and I think he'll truly believe what you are telling him."

"Thanks Cas." Dean mumbled shuffling to the stairs like an old man. This past few weeks had taken a lot out of him mentally and physically. He just wanted to find a soft bed and sleep for a week and not have to worry about anything supernatural or family or himself. But that wasn't going to happen and he had accepted that. He went into the bathroom first to do his routine before moving across to their bedroom.

 **spn**

Cas went into the bedroom and pulled a chair close to the head of the bed. He looked at the sleeping man and saw him twitch slightly and frown as his eyes moved under his lids. He reached over and gently laid a hand on his brow and forced the demons away, watching closely as his face began to relax. Cas looked at the troubled man that he thought of as a brother and wondered if he could find a more powerful angel to help him. He didn't think either of the brothers would survive this if Sam didn't walk again. Sam would probably think that it was what he deserved for freeing Lucifer, while Dean would be guilt ridden, blaming himself that it happened. He went deep into thought as he kept his vigil watch over him. Castiel could sense the older Winchester in the other bedroom not fairing much better. He thought of going to him, but knew he wouldn't want his help. He was sensing this was something Dean would have to work out on his own without his intervention.

 **spn**

After Dean changed and got ready for bed, he lay there lost in his thoughts since sleep wanted to elude him. He tried to picture a future with Sam in a wheelchair and growled angrily when it wouldn't appear. If he never walked again or even if he had to use crutches, he could never be a hunter, not like he had been. It was strange how they took the simple things for granted until something happened and it was taken away. He tossed and turned trying to get comfortable and turn off the images in his head. He forced his eyes closed only to have them pop open on their own and he stared out into the night through the window beside Sam's twin bed. He felt an emptiness inside of him as he stared at the bed missing his brother being here with him. The moon was almost full and it cast a dim glow on the outside world making it look like a ghost land. He turned over and buried into his covers willing his mind to calm and his body to relax. After several slow, deep breaths, Dean finally slipped into a light doze. He knew his body needed the rest if he was going to take care of his brother and get him through this. With that thought, he sunk deeper into sleep and began to snore softly hoping his demons would stay at bay and let him sleep.

 **spn**

The first fingerings of a new day were stretching out across the horizon when Dean jerked awake and looked around wondering what had him up. He looked toward the window and saw dawn was not there yet and dropped back down on his pillow but he knew there would be no more sleep for him. He lay there looking up at the ceiling before forcing his body up to sit on the side of the bed. He drew in a couple of slow breaths and looked to the pile of dirty clothes that needed washing. Thinking he might as well be productive if he was going to be up this early, Dean found some clean clothes and changed before gathering up the clothes to take them downstairs to wash. He paused at the doorway of the other bedroom and looked into the room. He could make out the form of his brother on the bed and Cas sitting in a chair by his side. Cas looked his way but didn't say anything as Dean headed on downstairs. Once he had a load going, he started a pot of coffee knowing he was going to need the fuel to wake his sluggish body. He watched the pot fill and when if finally dinged ready, Dean poured a cup and blew across it before chancing a sip. He grimaced with the hotness and dug an ice cube from the freeze to add to the hot brew and turned to head up and check on his brother. His heart was heavy with trepidation not knowing what today was going to bring.

 **spn**

"How's he doing?" Dean asked quietly as he stepped into the room and looked at his brother.

"I have kept his mind calm so he can rest." Cas replied.

"Thanks for that. I'll sit with him now, you can take a break."

"I don't mind doing it. It makes me feel useful."

"Why don't you go see what Bobby has for breakfast..." Dean started but stopped when Sam moaned softly in his sleep. He reached over and took his hand holding it and exerting light pressure so Sam would know he was there.

"I'll do that." Cas nodded sensing that Dean wanted to be alone with his brother. He got up and headed out of the room, casting one last glance toward the brothers. He could see how worn down Dean was from the slump of his shoulders to the tiredness in his eyes. He didn't like these human feelings of uselessness that invaded his thoughts and decided he would fix breakfast for everyone. He wasn't that adept in the kitchen, but he thought breakfast shouldn't be that hard to do. With that goal in mind, he went downstairs and to the fridge to see what he could use.

Bobby grumbled as he headed toward the kitchen to see who was making all the noise in there this early in the morning. He stepped into the room to find Castiel opening cabinets and banging pots around as he worked hard on getting breakfast ready.

"There a reason you're making so much noise in here?" Bobby questioned as he watched him crack an egg and dig some shell out of the bowl.

"I'm being useful and making breakfast for everyone." Castiel explained proudly as he broke another egg, trying to be more careful and not get shell in the bowl.

"I think something's burning." Bobby nodded toward the stove.

Cas turned and grabbed a pot to jerk it off the stove and quickly dropped it in the sink when he burnt his hand, but healed it within seconds. He looked around at the mess he had made and to Bobby with a helpless and lost look.

"What say I help ya?" Bobby offered feeling sorry for the angel.

"I think that might be a good idea." Cas sighed not sure what to do as he surveyed the disaster he had going on. He never knew cooking could be that complicated. Dean always made it look so easy but even getting toast that wasn't burnt was challenging.

He watched Bobby move around the counter and looked at what Cas had started deciding what was salvageable and what needed to be trashed. He checked the eggs in the bowl to be sure there were no shells still in it and moved it to the side.

"I did get the bacon done." Cas offered pointing to a paper towel that had bacon draining on it.

"What was in the pot?" he asked looking toward the sink.

"It was suppose to be oatmeal." Cas replied picking the pot up with the spoon that was cemented in it wondering how to get it out.

"Well you can trash that, had the burner too hot and scorched it." Bobby told him. He looked in the cabinet and found another pot to use. "You wanna get the water boiling and turn it down to low when you add the oatmeal. That way it cooks but doesn't burn."

"I will remember that." Cas nodded as he watched him.

"Why don't you butter some bread for toast?" Bobby suggested thinking that was a simple task for him until he saw several pieces of burnt toast in the trash and shook his head.

"Alright. I thought I'd take it up to Dean and Sam when it was ready."

"I'll do the eggs when the oatmeal is about done. That way it'll be hot for them. There's a tray in the laundry room you can use."

"Thank you for your help Bobby. I feel sort of useless right now."

"Ain't nothing, glad to help." he said moving the dirty dishes out of the way wondering how Cas could mess up so many at one time and wondering where some came from since he didn't remember seeing them before. He couldn't be mad at the angel; he was trying to help after all. Bobby got out milk and poured some into the eggs and added salt and pepper as he waited for the frying pan to heat up. "That would be the washer dinging in there. You can throw the clothes in the dryer and start it, but make sure and shake them out first so they won't be waded up and so wrinkled."

"I can do that." Cas called from the laundry room and followed Bobby's instructions and got the clothes drying. He loaded the washer with the remaining dirty clothes and read the detergent directions before adding some and starting the machine. He stood back and smiled thinking this was an accomplishment for him.

"Why don't you butter some bread for toast and I'll put it in the oven?" Bobby suggested knowing he couldn't mess that up, at least he hoped not.

"They're ready to go in the oven." Cas said a few minutes later as he finished buttering the bread.

"Let's get it under the broiler and I'll get the eggs on."

Cas slid the pan in the oven and moved, watching Bobby scramble the eggs. He sat the plates closer to the stove so he could dish the eggs out when they were done. He poured coffee in two cups and sat them on the tray, being sure to doctor one for Sam. As the eggs cooked, Bobby checked the bread and turned the oven off. He stirred the eggs to finish cooking them, before dividing the between three plates.

"You want some Cas?"

"No, I'm good."

"Suit yourself." he shrugged fixing the plates and setting two on the tray. "How's Sam doing?"

"I helped him sleep through the night. Dean was up early. I don't think he slept as well."

"Figured that, that boy needs to take care of himself if he's going to help his brother."

"I will offer to stay with Sam and maybe Dean will take a break."

"You can try, but I doubt he'll take ya up on that." Bobby sighed. "Alright, the tray's ready if you wanna take it up to them."

"Thank you for your help." Castiel said before picking up the tray and disappearing.

"Anytime." Bobby said to himself as he took his plate and cup of coffee to the table to have breakfast alone. He went out and got the paper deciding he might as well catch up on the news as he had his breakfast.

* * *

 **A/N: So Cas didn't get it as bad as he thought either. I think Dean's to exhausted to lay into him. Thank you to the guests who left reviews, I do appreciate them all. Look for a big twist coming... **You know I like to know what your thoughts, please review. NC****


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Dean looked toward the door of the bedroom as Cas came in carrying a tray of food. He looked at it suspiciously wondering if he could trust the angel's cooking after a few other failed attempts.

"Bobby helped me." Cas informed him when he saw the wary look on his face.

"Thanks Cas. Hey Sammy, breakfast is here. Ready to eat something?" he asked raising his voice a little to try and wake Sam.

Sam grunted and groaned as he moved around on the bed, not realizing he had moved his legs a little. It didn't get by Dean when he saw the shift of the blanket over Sam's legs.

"Hey bro, I think you moved your legs." he said excitedly as he tossed the blanket to the side. "See if you can do it again."

Sam blinked several times as he tried to make sense of Dean's words since he was still half asleep. He looked at him frowning for a moment until the words rang home. Sam looked to his legs and was able to shift one a couple of inches. Hope blossomed in his soul and he tried again with the other leg and moved it too.

"See I told you to have patience." Dean beamed smiling happily.

"I brought breakfast." Cas added still holding the tray to get their attention again.

"Thanks Cas, but bathroom first." Sam told him pushing his body up from the bed. He still couldn't swing his legs off the bed and let Dean help him to the wheelchair. He rolled to the bathroom and used it as the spark of hope grew a little.

"Okay Sammy, let's see what we have here." Dean said taking the tray from Cas and sitting it across Sam's lap once he had him propped up in the bed.

"I don't think Bobby likes me cooking." Cas commented trying to make conservation.

"Did you mess up a lot of crap?" Dean asked.

"I guess, but..."

"There you have it. He doesn't like having to clean up. Why don't you go down and do the dishes for him and I think that'll make it right."

"If you think so." he said turning to leave.

"Oh and would you check the laundry and put it in the dryer? You remember how I showed you?"

"Yes Dean, I've already done that. Bobby told me to do it."

"And Cas, thanks for breakfast, its not half bad." Dean added making the angel perk up with the kind words.

"Thanks Cas, it's good." Sam added feeling like he needed to hear kind words and know he was wanted.

Cas gave him a shy smile before leaving feeling more like he was part of the family. He tried really hard to be helpful, but sometimes what he thought was helping didn't turn out that well.

Dean glanced sideways at Sam to be sure he was eating and drinking. He picked at his own food, but did scarf down the bacon.

"C'mon Sammy you need to eat more than that." Dean chastised him when he saw the few bites he ate.

"You're one to talk." Sam replied looking at Dean's own plate.

"Yeah but I'm not the one injured and needs the strength to finish healing." he pointed out shaking his fork at him.

Sam gave him his best bitch face but put one more fork of eggs in his mouth to slowly chew. It wasn't Cas's or Bobby's cooking, but he just didn't have an appetite and nothing really tasted good. He didn't mention this to Dean for fear of his reaction and tried to rearrange the food on his plate to make it look like he had eaten more. After bluffing for another ten minutes, Sam finally pushed the plate away and picked up his juice to sip on it.

"Alright Sammy, what would you like to eat for lunch? I can fix whatever or send Cas to get it. You need to get some nutrients into you. How 'bout some protein shakes? I know they've got several flavors you liked."

"Anything's fine, doesn't matter..." Sam mumbled surprised by Dean's question. He usually would just fix whatever they had available and give to him whether he really liked it or not.

"Damnit Sammy I'm trying here, you gotta meet me halfway." Dean pleaded with him as he stabbed madly at his eggs. He didn't want to be mad, but this roller coaster ride he was having with Sam was playing on his nerves. Sam's mood was bouncing up and down and never knew from one minute to the next how he was going to react to things.

"Why Dean? Tell me why all of a sudden you care? All I've ever done is...Disappoint you...Let you down...Betray you...Screwed the world..." Sam whispered sadly not able to look at his brother and he held in the feelings, not wanting to break down again. He snorted softly as raw emotions flooded his mind and he tried to rein them in.

Dean set his plate on the tray and moved it out of the way before sitting down at Sam's hip where he could be closer to him. "Look at me..." he said quietly trying to get in Sam's line of sight. "Sammy, look at me please..." Sam looked up as Dean rested his hand on his shoulders. "You need to stop berating and putting yourself down like that. We both have made mistakes in the past. We've been used by demons and angels alike for their own gain. What happened can't be changed, but we can work together to correct what we can. I've realized that we are so much stronger together than apart. No matter what, you're still my little brother. We're all each other have and we need to stick together. I'm gonna be right here with you every step of the way and get you back on your feet and then we'll see about the future."

Sam swallowed the lump in the back on his throat as he listened to Dean talk. His lower lip trembled and he caught it between his teeth to stop it. He cast his eyes down for a moment and cleared his throat before trying to speak. "What if...What if I can't hunt anymore?"

"It won't matter. You've still got that huge brain of yours you can use. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We'll take it one day at a time and fight our way through it. You can't quit on me Sammy. You gotta fight for it. I know you're strong, you just gotta believe it yourself. Don't sell yourself short by no means bro. Look, you've got me and Bobby and Cas all pulling for you..."

Sam couldn't help the tear that leaked from his eye and ran down his cheek. Dean cupped his face and wiped it away before pulling Sam into his embrace and holding him tightly. That was all it took for Sam to break and the tears to fall. It took him a few moments before he returned Dean's hug and clung to him like a drowning man. His body trembled and his breathing hitched against Dean's neck. Dean could feel his neck getting wet from Sam's tears but didn't dare move for fear of losing him again. He mumbled quietly into his ear as he massaged his neck and rubbed circles on his back. They remained like that until Sam had his reined his emotions in and pulled back from his embrace.

"You feel like going outside again today after I exercise your legs? Fresh air will do you good." Dean said not commenting on Sam's breakdown. "I can get Cas to take you down."

"I-I guess..." Sam nodded wiping his face with the tissues Dean handed him and blowing his runny nose.

"Good, I'll take this and let Cas know." Dean told him gathering up any trash to take with him. He disappeared out the door and didn't see the look of hope and longing on Sam's face that maybe he could believe him and the rift could be mended between them. Sam was able to scoot himself back down in the bed and closed his eyes as he let his mind wander.

 **spn**

"You ready to..." Dean started as he stepped back into the bedroom only to falter when Sam jerked awake and stared wild eyed at him like he was seeing someone else standing there. His face paled and he couldn't stop the trembling that ran through his body for a moment. "Sammy, you okay?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Sam squeaked out as he shook his head to rid him of the image of Tim standing there instead of Dean.

"You sure, you look like you've seen a ghost." Dean questioned wondering what Sam thought he was seeing. The doctor's words came back to him and decided he needed to read up on PTSD so he'd have a better understanding of what Sam was going through.

"Yes." Sam said not wanting to tell Dean what happened. He looked past Dean into the hallway and around the room not seeing anything out of place and tried to relax.

"Alright, let me work on your legs and I'll have Cas take you downstairs." Dean continued knowing Sam wasn't telling him something. He decided not to press the issue right now since they seemed to be making progress. He pulled the blanket off and started to massage his legs and exercise them. "Sammy can you move your leg again?" he asked looking at Sam's legs waiting to see if he could. He glanced up and saw Sam biting his lower lip as he concentrated hard on doing what he asked. After a few moments, his leg moved up off the mattress a little. He flexed his foot and wiggled his toes before letting it fall back down. "Good, now try the other one." Dean told him. Sam worked on doing the same with his other leg and dropped back on the pillow once he had done it feeling exhausted. "Way to go Sammy! Keep that up and you'll be up walking in no time." Dean praised him as he gave Sam's legs another brief rubdown before stopping. "You still feel like going downstairs?"

"Yeah, I need to be up." Sam decided. He was getting tired of lying around in bed and knew the more he was up would help him get stronger.

"Alright then, let's get you up." Dean said. He helped Sam to sit on the side of the bed before moving the wheelchair closer so he could shift him to it. "Probably need to put you some socks on. Don't need you getting sick on me."

Sam didn't argue as Dean found some socks and bent down to slip them over his bare feet. He looked up when Cas came into the room ready to move him downstairs.

"How are you feeling Sam?" Cas asked.

"Okay."

"You wanna zap him downstairs Cas?"

"Alright." Cas said laying a hand on Sam's shoulders and disappearing.

Dean picked up around the bed and straightened the covers before heading down to join them downstairs.

 **spn**

"Is this alright Sam?" Cas asked as he positioned his chair where the warm sun was shining on his face. He stepped back waiting for Dean to come down not wanting to leave Sam alone. He watched Sam start to relax and close his eyes as he tilted his head back to let the sun warm it. Cas looked to the door as Dean stepped out carrying a pair of sunglasses and a hat.

"Here you go. Put these on." Dean told Sam holding out the items.

"Thanks." Sam replied accepting them and slipping the glasses on and putting the hat on his head.

"Cas, can you go to the store and get some protein drinks for Sammy?" Dean asked as he looked down at Sam. "Get strawberry and chocolate, a pack of each flavor."

"I can do that."

"Here's some money and be sure you're not seen zapping in and out." he cautioned him holding out a twenty.

"I'll be careful." Cas assured him taking the money and disappearing.

"You okay Sammy?" Dean asked dropping into a lounge chair nearby.

"Mmmm...Good..." Sam mumbled just loud enough to be heard. The sun felt so good on his skin that he didn't want to move. He began to let himself relax as the coldness in his body was chased away by the warming rays of the sun. He drew in slow steady breaths and listened to the sounds around him.

Dean smiled when he saw how peaceful Sam looked and hoped this was a step in the right direction. If he continued to progress maybe he'd be walking or at least standing on his own soon. Maybe he'd have Cas get a walker for Sam to use, he thought happy with the progress he was making. He though Sam was finally breaking down and beginning to believe what Dean was telling him about not leaving. Dean looked at the content expression on Sam's face pleased that he seemed to be acting a little more like himself.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed the read. Sam is getting the feeling back in his legs, a step forward, but for how long? Thank you to all the guests who have left reviews, they are appreciated. I do like to know your thoughts, please review. NC**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"You ready to go inside Sammy?" Dean asked when he saw the pinkish hue on Sam's cheek. "Don't need ya getting sun burnt."

"Yeah, I am getting a little thirsty." he said feeling so relaxed and at ease for the first time in a very long time.

"Cas got some protein drinks, but they're not cold yet, so do you want juice, milk, green tea or water?" Dean asked him as he pushed the chair into the kitchen.

"Maybe a green tea."

"On it." Dean said opening the fridge and pulling one out and opening it for him before handing it over. "Wanna see if there's anything on the tube?"

"Sure." Sam shrugged letting Dean push him into the living room and to the couch. He put on the brake and shifted Sam to the couch to be more comfortable. Dean had positioned him at an end where he could use the arm of the couch for support.

"You good Sammy?" he asked stepping back to examine his handy work.

"I'm good Dean, relax." Sam told him as he hovered over him making him nervous. He knew how much of a mother hen Dean could be from past experiences and was surprised he was doing it now. He watched him flip on the television and switch it through the few channels that Bobby got, stopping on an old western. Sam looked over at him as he settled on the couch beside him to watch the movie.

"Bobby's picking up dinner on his way home so I don't have to cook." he commented randomly.

Sam looked at him seeing he wasn't really expecting him to answer and didn't, just happy to sit here with him and do nothing. In their line of work being hunters they didn't have much time for downtime but when they did, he enjoyed every minute of it. He tried to think back on times like this, but they wouldn't come forward in his memory. He knew they were there but just couldn't seem to grasp any of them. He frowned to himself but didn't say anything to Dean about it. It seemed some things were either scrambled or still lost to him and he wondered what he had forgotten. Sam absently rubbed his leg and stilled when he actually felt it. He looked down at his legs and focused very hard on them until they moved a little. Tears of joy came to his eyes when he realized he just might be able to walk again. Sam turned his head to wipe his eyes before Dean saw and would start asking questions.

Dean watched Sam out of the corner of his eye and was careful Sam didn't see him. He saw him rubbing his leg and stop suddenly looking down at it in surprise. Sam went rigid for a moment and Dean saw his legs move and an expression of relief and happiness spread over Sam's face. He knew Sam turned away to wipe tears from his eyes but didn't say anything to him. Dean felt this was Sam's news to tell and would let him do it in his own time.

"Where's Cas?" Sam asked after clearing his throat and noticing he wasn't there.

"I sent him on an errand. I gotta say he's getting pretty good at doing small things as long as they're not complicated and you give him specific instructions of what to do. It's never a good thing to let an angel go unattended in a store with no guidance." Dean surmised stating from experience.

"You have to admit, he really tries." Sam said, smiling to himself. He had a fondness for the angel and for some reason seemed to feel closer to him now. He wasn't sure their relationship prior to this and tried to pull up some forgotten memories.

"I did the errand in put it upstairs." Cas said walking from the kitchen to join them.

"Thanks Cas." Dean told him.

"How are you feeling Sam?" Cas asked looking Sam over and seeing he seemed better.

"I'm feeling some better Cas, thanks for asking." Sam replied giving him a half smile. You couldn't help but love the angel. He frowned slightly and looked at Cas for a moment and down at his hands that were worrying the hem of his shirt.

"Something wrong Sammy?" Dean asked seeing the change in his body language.

"It's nothing..." Sam mumbled not looking up as his forehead wrinkled in a frown.

"It must be something if it's bothering you like this. Spill; what is it?"

"How did we meet Cas?" Sam asked quietly looking up at him and back down again feeling upset that there were gaps in his past that he couldn't fill. Even if he did walk again and got better, would he even remember how to hunt again? It scared Sam when he let his mind wonder down that path trying to determine what he might have forgotten. How long would Dean stay around if that happened? Sam couldn't see him settling down to take care of him and quit hunting.

Dean saw the unsure look on Sam's face and knew he was scared but trying to hide it. Memory lost was one of the big things he was afraid of for Sam. He had so much stored in his brain and if he lost that or even part of it, Dean knew it would kill Sam.

"I saved Dean from hell." Cas said innocently, not knowing how this was going to affect San. He was just telling the truth like it happened.

"What?" Sam cried out in shock before he could say more. "You went to hell? Why Dean? What happened?" he questioned looking at his brother with distress written on his face. "It was because of me wasn't it? Something I did sent you to hell..." Sam surmised when he saw the strained look on his brother's face.

"It's alright Sammy, that was a long time ago. Don't worry yourself about it. You just need to focus on getting better. I'm sure your other memories will come back to you in time."

"But what if they don't?" Sam cried out in frustration as he gasped in deep breaths as his body heaved and he wrapped his arms around his stomach. "I think I need to lay down." he said quietly. "Cas, can you take me upstairs?" he barely got out.

"Of course Sam." Cas said looking to Dean to be sure it was okay. Dean nodded to him and moved so Cas could transport Sam back to his bedroom. The wheelchair he would take up later, right now he knew Sam wanted to be alone and was going to give him some space.

Dean sat back on the couch and mulled over what just happened. He was hoping maybe there would be no memory loss, but it seemed that wasn't the case. This was going to be another obstacle for them to overcome and he didn't want to think about what else might show up. He rubbed a hand down his face feeling so tired all of a sudden and wondered how much more he could take of this.

 **spn**

"Are you comfortable Sam?" Cas asked when they appeared in the bedroom. He made sure Sam would be on the bed so he wouldn't fall.

"Cas tell me what happened." Sam asked quietly as he scooted around and got the pillows under him to sit up some. "Why did you have to get Dean out of hell?"

"I don't think Dean would like me doing that." Cas told him. "Why don't you rest and I'm sure he'll explain everything later. I don't want to upset you anymore than you already are."

"Will you at least answer one question; did he go to hell for me?" Sam inquired as he grasped Cas' arm and begging him with pain filled eyes.

"Yes." Cas said quietly before disappearing and leaving Sam alone in the bedroom.

 **spn**

Sam dropped his head on the pillows and tried to unscramble his muddled brain. What had been so bad that Dean would risk going to hell? What could he have done? He knew Cas wasn't lying to him, so it was about him. How many times had he messed up in the past and Dean had to clean it up? A dull ache started behind his eyes and he groaned softly as he rubbed his temples trying to dispel the pain. Instead of easing it, the ache seemed to grow making it hard for him to even think. Sam cried out softly as the pain became a pounding hammer in his skull.

"Sammy, hey man what's wrong?" Dean asked urgently as he hurried to his bedside. "Talk to me."

"Head..." Sam moaned as he gripped his head in his hands and dug his fingers into his long hair and pulling at it.

"Okay, take it easy...I'll get you something. Cas!" Dean yelled as he caught Sam's hands before he pulled his hair out.

"Yes?" Cas asked appearing in the room and looking at Dean trying to restrain Sam as he cried out in pain.

"Can you knock him out before he hurts himself?" Dean yelled at him as he held Sam down. "Breath Sammy you'll be okay."

Cas hurried to the bed and laid two fingers on Sam's forehead and within seconds Sam went limp in Dean's arms. He eased him back onto the bed and made him comfortable before covering his still body.

"Will you check the first aid kit in Bobby's bathroom for a vial of Sumatriptan and a syringe? He started keeping some when Sam started having migraines. Oh and bring a couple of alcohol wipes too."

"Alright." Cas replied disappearing to get what Dean wanted. He returned a few minutes later with the items and handed them to Dean.

Dean opened a wipe and wiped the top of the vial before uncapping the syringe and inserting the needle into it. He drew out the needed amount and laid it on the nightstand. He pushed Sam's sleeve up and wiped his arm with another alcohol wipe before picking up the needle and squirting a small amount out so he could inject Sam with the medicine. He capped the syringe and tossed it in the trash along with the used wipes.

"I got him now Cas thanks." Dean said sitting by Sam and brushing his hair from his face so he could be sure he was breathing alright. It was fast and short and his face was still pinched as if in pain. "That's it Sammy. Let the meds do their job. Try to relax; the pain should be lessening soon." Dean said softly. "I'll be right here bro...I'm not leaving you...I'll be right here if you need me..." Dean encouraged finally seeing Sam's face relax some as he gasped for each breath. "Relax now, slow your breathing..." he said laying a hand on Sam's chest and rubbing small circles feeling each breath he took.

"Do you need anything else?" Cas asked moving the first aid kit to the dresser out of the way.

"How 'bout wetting a wash cloth with cold water and bringing it to me. That will sometimes help ease the pain. At least the medicine should help with the pain and should let him rest so the headache will ease."

"I didn't mean to upset him." Cas said as he turned to go to the bathroom.

"I know, and I don't think it was just you...I think it's everything that has happened must of triggered it, but man I've not seen one like that before." Dean said quietly as he watched Sam closely for any ill effects. He accepted the cold cloth and folded it so it could be laid across Sam's forehead. Sam winced slightly before settling back down, sighing softly. He had seen Sam suffer with migraines before but nothing like this, not this strong and painful. Dean grabbed a pillow and moved to lean against the headboard with Sam lying at his side. He gently ran his hands into his hair and slowly and carefully massaged his scalp, making Sam grunt and bury his head into Dean's side. He moved lower and worked on the tight muscles in Sam's neck knowing being so tense and stiff would make the headache last longer. "It's okay Sammy, I'm here. You just relax and let it go away. Remember how I used to rub your back and neck when you'd get one of these when you were little? Sometimes I think you faked it a little just to get the attention..." Dean chuckled. He continued to talk quietly to him as he got lost in his memories of their childhood.

Cas took a seat and remained quiet listening to Dean talk about their childhood. It was interesting to learn about how they grew up and what led them to this point. He listened to Dean's calm, soothing voice and saw Sam was asleep now and started to tell Dean, but thought better. He got the feeling Dean needed this as much as Sam did and remained silent letting the brothers reconnect.

* * *

 **A/N: Sam's not out of the woods yet, but he is making progress. Can Dean hang on through it all? What else is going to push Sam over the edge? Thank you for reading and thank you to the guests who have left me reviews. I appreciate your support and if you have a moment please leave me a review. NC**

 **My thoughts go out to all that have been affected by Hurricane Florence. She is one mean hurricane. It is expected to hit my area this afternoon and into tomorrow. Heavy rain, flooding, high winds, stay safe. L**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Bobby unlocked the front door and stepped into his house carrying bags of food for their dinner. He paused and listened and frowned when it seemed way to quiet for him. He was used to some type of noise with three house guests staying with him and got an uneasy feeling with total silence but for a groan or creak of the old place met him. He walked on into the living room and then the kitchen but didn't find the boys or the angel in either, or on the deck. Bobby sat the bags down and turned to go upstairs when Castiel appeared in front of him almost making him stumble backwards.

"Damn! A little warning Cas." he grumbled catching himself on the counter before falling.

"My apologies. I heard you come in and came to tell you Dean and Sam are upstairs and both are sleeping." Cas announced.

"Did something happen?" he asked eyeing the angel closely when he saw the guilty look on his face.

"Sam asked how we met and I told him I rescued Dean from hell. It seems not all his memories are intact and he got upset when Dean wouldn't talk about why he went to hell." Cas explained. "I don't think it was wise of me to have said that, but I couldn't lie."

"Thought things were going to good, had to hit speed bump." Bobby muttered. "It's okay Cas, we don't know what he remembers and doesn't and it's a crap shoot when we say something. He's going to either remember or have to be told things; there's no getting around that."

"Sam was having a migraine, at least that's what Dean thought it was and had to sedate him because of the amount of pain he was in."

"Yeah, I remember he'd have one once and a while when he was young. But they weren't too bad; he'd have to go to bed to get rid of it. But the older he got guess he grew out of it. Hadn't heard either mention one in a long time."

"I don't know if his injuries brought this one on or not. Dean got him calmed and wouldn't leave him and they both went to sleep. I was watching over them."

"Probably the best thing for both of them. I don't think either has had a good nights sleep since all this crap happened." Bobby sighed as he pulled some food from a bag. "Guess I can heat this up when they're ready to eat. Wanna join me for some barbecue?"

Cas thought for a moment and decided Bobby needed the company and accepted his offer. He could see how much he cared for the brothers and the strain this situation was putting on him. Cas sampled a little of all the food Bobby had bought and was surprised that he had a liking for it. When he had tried food before it didn't seem to taste right, but the more time he spent on Earth and being cut off from Heaven, it was growing more appealing. The mood was somber and quiet as they ate, neither wanting to talk.

 **spn**

Bobby was in his office when he heard noises in the living room and saw Dean walk past the doors. He got up and joined him in the kitchen to heat the food up for his dinner. Cas was sitting in the living room looking through one of Bobby's old lore books and looked up when Dean came down the stairs.

"How's yer brother?" Bobby asked studying Dean and seeing how tired and worn out he looked and figured Sam wasn't much better.

"He's still sleeping, but I was going to wake him and have him eat something. He needs to build his strength back up if he's going to walk again and if he needs to take any more meds he should have something in his stomach." Dean said standing in the middle of the kitchen looking sort of dazed and lost.

"Why don't ya sit down and I'll get a couple of plates fixed up." Bobby told him pulling out a chair from the table. "Cas said he had a migraine?"

"Could I have caused what happened to Sam?" Cas asked Dean when he joined him at the table.

"I don't know, but I don't blame you Cas. I guess we're just going to have to be careful how we answer any of his questions if he can't remember the details. We'll have to choose and pick what and how we tell him things from the past. There's so much crap and any one thing could push him over the edge of no return. I don't know if he can stand many more episodes like that; I know I can't."

"It could be from his head injuries he sustained Dean. You know what the doc said, there still could be things that happen to Sam we'll have to deal with. You just need to be prepared. Sam might never be a hundred percent."

"I know Bobby, but I gotta have faith he's going to get better or I..." Dean started letting his voice trail off, not willing to say the words that scared him so. "He'll get better...The feelings coming back into his legs, I saw him move them a little. That's a start in the right direction at least."

"That's good news then. Do you want soda, water, tea or beer to drink?" he asked sitting plates on a tray and looking to Dean for an answer.

"I'd really like to curl up with a bottle of Jack, but I can't do that; not with Sam like he is. I need to have a clear head in case he needs me. Give me tea and soda for him. I remember the caffeine in it used to help him when he'd get a headache."

"It had to have been pretty bad to use a sedative on him."

"I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. The kid was pulling his hair out...It was all I could do to make him stop until I gave him the meds." he sighed rubbing a hand down his haggard face.

"Here you go; I put extra napkins there for you. I expect both of you to eat Dean. It won't help Sam if you keel over yourself." Bobby stated as he sat the tray on the table for him. "I'll be in my office if you need me. Need to finish up some research for Rufus 'fore he has a cow."

"Thanks Bobby, I don't know what I'd do without you." Dean praised him before getting up and balancing the tray as he headed toward the stairs.

"You'd be in a world of hurt..." Bobby mumbled to himself as he walked toward his office hiding the small smile that played across his lips with the praise. Those boys were like his own sons and he cared deeply for them.

 **spn**

Dean sat the tray on the dresser and went to his brother to wake him. It had been nearly three hours since his episode and he wanted to see if he was better.

"Hey Sammy, you ready to wake up?" Dean asked, speaking softly as he shook his brother's shoulder to rouse him. "C'mon, let me see those eyes...Bobby fixed us some good smelling food."

Sam grunted and began to stir trying to force his eyes open, but moaned and placed his arm over his face to block the overhead light. His whole body seemed to ache in some fashion and his eyes felt like they were filled with grit, but his head had eased thought there was a annoying ache in his temples.

"Hold on..." Dean said going to switch off the overhead light and turn on a small lamp on the nightstand. He pulled the shade down so it wouldn't shine in Sam's eyes before turning back to him. "There, is that better?"

Sam moved his arm slightly and saw the room was in shadows and looked to his brother, nodding his thanks. He stared bleary eyed at him and blinked slowly letting his mind catch up with his body. He wasn't sure about moving yet and lay there staring up at the ceiling until Dean brought him back to reality.

"How 'bout something to eat?" Dean asked moving to reposition his pillows as Sam pushed himself up in the bed. He made sure he was comfortable before getting the tray and sitting it in his lap. He pulled a chair closer and took one of the plates and a fork off the tray examining its contents. "Looks good Sammy, Bobby said you needed to eat."

"I'll try..." Sam said his voice still heavy from sleep and exhaustion. He reached for the soda and missed the first time blinking fast a couple of times and trying again only to miss and almost knock it over.

"Here Sammy." Dean said taking his hand and wrapping it around the soda can.

Sam huffed at his missed attempts and brought the straw to his lips to sip some. The coldness of the liquid felt good on his throat as he tried another sip.

"How's your head?" Dean inquired, watching Sam closely. He could tell by his weak eyes that it was still not completely gone and he was doing his best to tolerate it.

"Better..." Sam mumbled tucking his hair behind his ear out of the way. He looked at the food on the plate in front of him trying to decide if his stomach could tolerate eating or not.

"Eat something and I'll get you some Tylenol." Dean said getting up and digging around in a duffle until he found some. He shook two out and handed them to Sam before sitting back down. "I put a protein shake on there too. If you can't eat, you need to at least try and drink the shake."

Sam accepted the pills and put them in his mouth to wash them down with the soda. Sam ate a bite of barbecue and broke off a piece of toast to go with it. He slowly chewed until he could swallow it and took a sip of soda. Before he realized it, a burp popped out making him cover his mouth and mumble 'excuse me.'

Dean chucked and continued to eat, hoping his stomach was going to tolerate it. The last thing he wanted was to enjoy it a second time around. He sipped his tea and paused for a moment, letting everything settle in his stomach. He watched Sam take a couple more bites and stop for a moment as his eyes lost focus and he seemed to zone out. It was nearly a minute before he blinked and looked back down at the food and broke off a piece of toast.

"Somethin' wrong bro?" Dean asked watching Sam freeze for a minute before going on like nothing had happened. This was new and he had no idea what happened to him. He wasn't going to say anything about it for now, but would watch him closely to see if it happened again.

"Do I like this type of food?" Sam asked looking over at Dean with a confused look.

"Yeah some of the time, though you do lean toward the healthier things. Do you want me to fix you something else?"

"No, no it's okay." Sam said taking another small bite. It was confusing to him that food didn't seem to taste right anymore. He didn't want to upset Dean by telling him this and kept it to himself.

It didn't get by Dean that Sam wasn't telling him something and wondered if it had to do with the food. He surmised maybe Sam's taste for food might have changed because of his head injury. He didn't know how all that was connected, but decided to do some reading on the subject later. Dean didn't question Sam any further about it and began to eat some more when he felt his stomach was going to behave itself.

Deciding to try the protein shake Sam laid his fork down and concentrated on the bottle to be sure he was only seeing one and reached carefully for it. He twitched a smile at his success and sipped on it, thinking it tasted better than the meat. He took another bite of toast feeling that was the safest thing to eat.

 **spn**

Sam had finished his protein shake and let his eyes wander around the room finally spotting something new. Standing beside the dresser was a walker. Dean noticed Sam was looking at something and glanced to the side.

"I had Cas go get one. I thought since the feeling was coming back in your legs you could use it when you're ready." Dean commented.

"You think I'm strong enough?" Sam asked softly not sure how he felt about it.

"Only you know that. When you think you're ready we'll try it, but I don't want you using it unless me or Cas are with you. Don't need you falling and breaking something."

"Alright." Sam said looking to the walker and down at his legs. Feeling was coming back, but slowly and he didn't think he was anywhere near using a walker yet.

"Not pushing you Sammy, only when you're ready." Dean assured him as if reading his thoughts. "Only when it's right for you."

Sam looked down at the tray and nodded. "I think I'm done." he said hoping Dean wasn't going to fuss about him not eating that much.

"Okay, I'll get that out of the way then." he said adding his plate to the tray. "You wanna get a shower when I come back? That is if you feel like it. Don't want you overdoing it or bringing on another one of those headaches."

"Yeah, I think I can do that." Sam said sniffing himself and realizing how bad he smelled and grimaced. He didn't like feeling dirty and he needed to change clothes after sweating so bad with the headache.

"Good, let me take this downstairs and I'll be back to help." he said heading out with the tray and studying it to see how much Sam ate. At least he drank the shake, Dean thought glad he had sent Cas to get them.

A shower did sound good Sam thought, hoping it would ease the lingering headache he still had. He raised a hand to his head and ran his fingers through his hair feeling the soreness on his scalp. Sam tried to carefully and gently rub his scalp remembering something he had read when he was in college about massaging the scalp would help with headaches. He thought it odd that he would remember a random tidbit like that and not other things, but didn't dwell on it long before letting his mind wander away.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter and it's going to start picking up the pace when I throw a twist into the mix. It's coming readers... Please review. NC**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

When Dean got back upstairs, Sam had managed to move where he was sitting on the side of the bed waiting for him. He moved the wheelchair over to the bed and let Sam slide himself into the chair. He knew the more Sam could do for himself that it would give him confidence and encouragement that he needed now to see he was getting better and not helpless. He let Sam roll himself out into the hall and to the bathroom and Sam let Dean ease him through the door.

"Okay, let's get these clothes off and get you into the tub." Dean told him letting him take off his tee shirt and helped him get his sweats off. He got him onto the shower chair and made sure everything was within his reach before stepping out. "I'll get you some clean clothes while you shower."

"Okay." Sam said pulling the shower curtain and slipping his briefs down his hips and legs. He tossed them out and turned on the water waiting for it to heat up. He hissed when the water first hit him until it warmed and began to clean up thinking the water felt good and it felt good to get clean. He let it beat on his head for a few minutes hoping it might relieve the last of the headache. He sat there for a few minutes after finishing and let the water wash over him before he turned it off and reached out to grab a towel to dry with.

"You finished bro?" Dean called from the door when he heard the water shut off.

"Almost." Sam said.

"Got ya some clean clothes when you're ready for them."

"Give me a sec, just need to get dry."

Dean leaned against the wall and waited for Sam to finish and happy he seemed to be improving more each day. He hoped what happened earlier was only a one time occurrence and Sam wouldn't have to go through that again. He kept his fingers crossed that Sam wouldn't dwell on it and not ask for details about what happened back then. He didn't really want to relive it since it was locked away deep in his mind where he stored all those horrible times in his life.

"You can come in now." Sam called.

Dean pushed the door open and laid the clothes down to help Sam back to the wheelchair. He handed him his briefs and turned around so he could put them on. Dean helped with the cotton sleep pants and gave Sam a clean tee shirt that he slipped over his wet head and down his lean body. Dean couldn't help but notice that Sam was too skinny and hoped his appetite would get better and he would put some weight back on. Once he got the wheelchair out of the bathroom, he let Sam roll it back to the bedroom on his own.

"Let's try a few leg exercises and see how you do." Dean said easily shifting Sam to the bed and moving the chair out of the way. He sat at the side of the bed and took Sam's foot in his hand. "Push on my hand Sammy."

Sam looked down at the foot Dean was holding and focused on it as he willed it to push against his hand. It took a moment, but he was able to press his foot into Dean's hand.

"That's it, good." Dean said with a smile as Sam did it again. "Now let me know if you feel this. Don't look." he instructed Sam as he began to gently massage his lower leg.

"I can feel something, like slight pressure on my calf." Sam said as a tingling sensation ran up his leg. He looked and saw Dean rubbing his calf and bending his leg to carefully press it toward his body. "Wait Dean let me see if I can move it..." Sam said as Dean lowered his leg to the bed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and held it as he pictured his leg moving in his mind and then opened them and looked at his leg. He lifted it up from the bed several inches and bent his knee a little.

"You're doing it Sammy. I knew you could..." Dean smiled as he watched him work on moving his legs. "Okay, that's great, relax and let me rub them down. Before you know it you'll be running up and down the stairs." Dean said happily as he started massaging the muscles in his upper leg. He could feel muscle spasms in Sam's leg and hoped that was a good sign. Once he finished with the other leg and covered Sam with a light blanket, Dean sat down near Sam's hip and looked at him. He was looking better and the color had returned to his face. "Be honest with me Sammy...How are you doing?" Dean asked being serious as he studied his brother. He wanted to see if there were any set backs to be worried about.

Sam looked down at his legs and caught his bottom lip with his teeth as he pondered the question. He really wasn't sure how to answer that. There were things still muddled in his mind, but overall he thought he was doing okay. "I think I'm getting better, but there are still things that don't make sense and there's blank spots in my memory still. Sometimes I get things mixed up in my mind, you know, past events seem like they just happened." Sam told him trying to choose his words carefully.

"It's okay bro, you're doing great and if you get confused or lost, talk to me. Maybe I can help you sort them out." Dean told him. "We'll take it one day at a time and work through this together. You're not alone in this I want you to know that. Do you believe me Sammy? I'm going to be here for you."

Sam glanced sideways at Dean and saw the sincere look on his face and tried to smile as he took in what he said. "Alright." Sam mumbled just loud enough to be heard.

"You want something to drink or a book or magazine to read? I picked up a crossword puzzle book for you last time I did a supply run."

"I don't think so, not yet." Sam replied. "I don't want to get my head hurting again now that it's eased off."

"What if I read to you?" Dean asked. "You used to like it when you were little."

"If you want to." Sam shrugged unsure how to take this.

"Great! Let me go get a book and I'll grab a couple of waters and I'll be right back." Dean said happily as he got up to head downstairs.

Sam adjusted his pillow and settled into the bed thinking how happy Dean looked and wondered if this was a turning point for them. Maybe Dean could put the past behind them and maybe he could forgive him for what he did. Sam didn't think he would ever forget it, but maybe, just maybe this was a new beginning for them. He looked up when Dean came back into the room with a book and a couple of waters.

"I just started this one, so it won't matter if I start over." Dean said pulling his chair closer to the head of the bed and sitting down. He unlaced his boots and slipped them off before propping his feet on the bed. "I've not read any of this guy's books but this one sounded interesting." Dean told him holding the book so Sam could see the cover. " _Sahara...The Gauntlet..."_ Dean started opening the book to the first page. _"She seemed to float above the ghostly evening mist like a menacing beast rising from the primeval ooze. Her low silhouette stood black and ominous against the backdrop of the trees along the shoreline. Shadowy, phantom-like images of men moved across her decks under the eerie yellow glow of lanterns as moisture trickled down her gray, sloping sides and dripped into the sluggish current of the James River_..." Dean read in a steady, smooth voice as Sam listened to the story. The shower, the massage, and Dean's soft voice was lulling him to sleep as he tried hard to stay awake. By the time Dean had finished the first chapter, Sam was asleep. He looked at his brother's peaceful face and how young and vulnerable he looked. He stopped reading out loud and got comfortable and continued to read the book. He didn't want to leave him right now and was content to sit by his side.

 **spn**

Dean was just finishing up another chapter of the book when suddenly without warning Sam sprang up in the bed crying out and gasping for air. Dean quickly joined him on the bed and grabbed his shoulders to help hold him up as Sam started jerking violently.

"Sam! Sammy what is it?" Dean asked trying to see into his eyes as his head hung forward and rolled back and forth. "Wake up Sam, c'mon you gotta breath." Dean begged forcing him back down on the bed and feeling for his pulse. His heart was racing under his fingers and he could see he was struggling to breath.

"Snap out of it man!" Dean yelled slapping his face lightly trying to dispel whatever nightmare Sam was reliving. He held his head and tilted it back hoping to open up his air passage more so he could get air into his lungs. Sam fisted the covers and arched his back for a moment before dropping back on the bed completely still. Dean looked up and down his body trying to determine what was going on until he didn't see his chest rising. He pinched his nose tightly shut and blew three strong breaths into Sam's mouth watching his chest rise each time. He felt again for a pulse and before he could give mouth to mouth again Sam suddenly wheezed out a hard breath before pulling in a raspy mouth of air. "Sammy, hey man you okay?" he asked when he saw his eyes flutter as he came back.

Sam sucked in a much needed breath of air and pulled himself to consciousness as he tried to get his lungs to work. He blinked rapidly several times and saw the blurry face of his brother looming over him. He slowly brought a hand up to rub down his face as he wheezed and coughed several times. Once his vision cleared enough to see, Sam could see the look of concern and worry on Dean's face and wondered what happened. He could tell he was talking to him, but he wasn't hearing the words. There was a roaring in his ears and the sound seemed to be coming from far away. He grimaced and squinted his eyes shut as he tried to make his mind cooperate.

"Sammy, are you with me?" Dean asked catching his face and making him look at him. He could see puzzlement and confusion in his eyes. "Talk to me, can you do that?"

"De...Ca't h'r..." Sam managed to get out as he used his hands to rub his ears and try to alleviate the incessant roaring in them. He opened his mouth and rotated his jaw as he shook his head slightly until finally the pressure lessened and sounds started coming back.

"Sammy, are-you-okay?" Dean asked slowly while making sure Sam was looking at him.

"I don't know..." Sam mumbled closing his eyes. He worked hard on taking longer, deeper breaths until the wheezing was gone and his ears stopped hurting.

"Do you know what happened?" Dean asked him as he brushed his hair back out of his face to see better.

"I don't know..." Sam whispered hoarsely as he cleared his throat.

"Here try to sip a little water." Dean said holding the straw to his lips and helping him raise his head a little to drink.

Sam accepted the water and sipped some to wet his dry mouth and throat. He tried to recall what had happened but all he remembered was Dean reading to him and he must have fallen asleep. There was something just out of his reach in the back of his mind that he couldn't quite grasp a hold of as he concentrated on trying to sort things in his mind. He felt he was missing something here but didn't know what it was. An image of a graveyard invaded his mind and Dean propped against the Impala bloody and bleeding as he looked toward a large hole that was sucking in anything that wasn't tied down. It only lasted for a moment and then it was gone. Sam didn't understand or know what he had seen and it just confused him more. He rubbed his burning eyes and groaned softly.

"Do you need some drugs?" Dean asked feeling his sweaty forehead but didn't think he had a fever.

"No...Just need rest..." Sam mumbled not sure he could sleep or wanted to.

"Slide over..." Dean commanded as he helped him shift in the bed. Dean reached down to straighten the covers before settling on the bed and pulling Sam to him and pulled the covers up over them. He let his head rest on his chest and wrapped his arms around his body holding him tightly. "Go on, go back to sleep. I'll be right here to keep the demons away." he mumbled to him as he rubbed small circles on his back. "Remember when you were little you used to crawl in bed with me when you had a nightmare or got scared of a storm? I'd always talk you through it and tell you I'd always be there for you...I'm sorry Sammy I wasn't there for you, but I'm here now and I'm not leaving. I promise and I'm not breaking that promise ever again." he whispered to Sam.

Sam was surprised that Dean stayed and even got in bed with him. He didn't protest when Dean pulled him into his strong embrace and began to talk softly to him as he tried to comfort him. He could hear the strong beat of Dean's heart in his ear now that he could hear again. This felt so right and he did feel safe. He listened to Den talk and tried to find those memories in his mind of a simpler time when things weren't complicated and he didn't know about the things in hiding in the dark. His eyes grew heavy as Dean's voice lulled him to sleep. His breathing evened out and he fisted Dean's shirt in his hand, clinging tightly to his big brother.

* * *

 **A/N: I know you've been waiting and I've been saying a twist is coming, we'll it's in the next chapter. I hope you liked the bro moments in this one... Thank you to the guests who have left reviews and to all the others and for the support for this story. You do make my day when you review, please leave one. NC**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

By the beginning of the following week Sam was walking with the walker, slowly but doing it. He couldn't go far for long but it beat using the wheel chair and he needed to get the strength back in his legs. Dean forbid him to use the walker unless someone was with him in case he fell. It felt good to be vertical again and able to do most of the things for himself now. Cas still transported him up and down the stairs since he wasn't ready to tackle them yet. He had a couple more episodes at night during that week, but Dean was right there to help him through them. Neither were as bad as the first one and again Sam saw the cemetery and knew he was there but didn't know why or what the crack in the earth meant. He never told Dean this because he didn't understand it himself and didn't want to worry or put anymore on him than he was already carrying.

Sam made him nap some during the day since he wasn't getting much sleep at night because of him. Castiel stayed with Sam during the day so Dean could rest and helped him walk to exercise his legs and get stronger. It seemed like the week progressed too slowly for him and by the beginning of the next week he had more confidence getting around but still used the walker to appease mother hen Dean. He had gone up the stairs twice and almost didn't make it to the top, but after a brief stop, he was able to continue the rest of the way.

Sam was proud of his progress and when Bobby dug out an old cane of his, he gladly switched to using it for balance mostly, because he still wasn't steady on his feet. He could feel himself growing stronger and more confident and was doing pretty much everything by himself now. He still had Dean leave the shower chair in the tub in case he needed to use it, but could almost make it through a shower without using it.

He still couldn't get Dean to sleep at night, the excuse being he wanted to be near if Sam had an episode and needed him. Dean didn't want him going through one of those by himself since at times it took Sam five to ten minutes to pull himself out of it. Even if he could hear him from their bedroom, Dean didn't feel comfortable being that far away. When Sam stopped breathing on several occasions, he wasn't about to leave him alone yet until the episodes hopefully stopped or were less severe. When he asked Sam about it he said he didn't remember anything about it.

Much to Sam's surprise, Dean showed no signs of wanting to leave or acted caged in like he used to when he was down more than three days. He was still doing research on Lucifer and how to stop him, but what he didn't know was Sam was also doing his own research delving deeper and into ancient tomes that Bobby had in his stacks. He always made sure Dean was napping or had gone on a supply run and Cas was none the wiser since he thought Sam was just reading to pass the time. Dean wouldn't let him leave Bobby's so he had to make do with walking around the salvage yard and the field next door to exercise. Cas always stayed nearby to ensure Sam was safe on his walks but only talked when Sam started the conversation. The routine stayed pretty much the same and to appease Dean Sam continued using the cane.

 **spn**

Dean trudged up the stairs and looked in the bedroom but didn't see his brother. He moved to the bathroom door and didn't see him in there either. He frowned knowing Sam wasn't downstairs and wondered where he was. He caught movement in their bedroom and stepped to the door to see Sam sitting on his twin bed with something in his hands.

"Sam?" Dean questioned softly when he saw tears streaking down his cheeks from his red rimmed eyes. "What ya doing?"

Sam didn't answer as he looked toward him and closed the journal he was reading. He brushed a hand across his face when he felt the wetness and looked down at the floor when he spoke. "I did all these... Unspeakable, horrible things...My god...How could you let me live..." he said quietly as he ran a hand over his journal. "I know it has to be the truth since this is my handwriting...I had no reason to lie..." he trailed off when his voice broke.

Dean wasn't sure what he was talking about since it was a strict rule that you didn't read another hunter's journal unless given permission. He had never questioned Sam about what he wrote in his and Sam never asked about his entries. He wasn't sure what Sam wrote but whatever it was seemed to have really upset him. He looked at the journal clenched in Sam's hands and cleared his throat before answering.

"I don't know what you read Sammy. You know that's private stuff and we respect each others privacy."

"How can you even stand to look at me or be around me after all the screwed up things I did? I mean, my god...I've got...Demon blood in me? And...And I even drank it? I was like a freakin' vampire..." he cried out as a sob escaped and his breath hitched as his voice grew hoarse and rough. He couldn't look at Dean as he spoke feeling so guilty and absolutely broken by his own words. "I remembered Ruby, but not about the blood...No wonder you wanted to get away from me..."

"Man Sammy...I didn't know you didn't remember any of that." Dean said sadly seeing how that news was tearing his brother apart. "It doesn't matter bro...That fact is not what makes you, it's not who you are. It never was, you have to believe that. You're strong Sammy and you've overcome a great deal in your life. You can't focus on that one thing and let it destroy you. I came to terms with it a long time ago. You've got to do the same." he pleaded with him.

"I died in that town that the yellowed eyed demon dropped me in, why didn't you let me stay dead?" he said without any emotions in his voice as he looked up at Dean with dull, lifeless eyes. "Why would you trade your soul to bring me back..." he cried out as sobs escaped that couldn't be held back any longer.

Dean sucked in a sharp breath when he realized Sam must have written about Cold Oak and what happened there. He hadn't really talked to him about why he went to hell because Sam never brought it back up and he wasn't about to, but now he guessed it was out in the open.

"How could I not do whatever I had to bring you back?" Dean asked in a pained voice. "You're my little brother and it was my job to look out for you and protect you. I failed in that...I did the only thing I could Sammy...It was the only choice I had to make things right..."

"And you went to hell for it, hell Dean! I can't even imagine what you went through...The torture you had to endure each and every day for years!...All for me and look how I paid you back...What I did..." Sam mumbled as he turned and stretched out on the bed with his back to Dean not wanting to talk anymore. "I want to be alone..." He clutched the journal tightly to his chest as the silent tears fell. Even though all these events happened in the past, it was like Sam was experiencing them all over again for the first time.

Dean looked at his brother and knew nothing he said right now was going to get through to him. He wouldn't hear a word that he said and didn't bother even trying. He sighed softly and left him alone in the bedroom hoping he would be in a better state of mind later so he could talk to him about all this and try to help him come to terms with it.

 **spn**

"Where's Sam?" Bobby asked when Dean came down by himself.

"He's...He's lying down." Dean huffed sadly as he sat down at the table.

"What's wrong son?" Bobby asked knowing that look.

"I brought food." Cas said as he appeared in the kitchen. Bobby had sent him into town for lunch until he could make a supply run and restock figuring he couldn't mess that up to badly.

"Cas, could you go invisible and go check on Sam?" Dean asked. "Maybe stay with him, but don't let him know you're there. He's in our bedroom."

"Of course Dean." he said sitting the bags down and disappearing again to do as he was requested.

"Alright Dean, what's going on?"

"Sam found his journal and read it." Dean sighed. "He didn't remember about the demon blood running in his veins and he knows the reason I went to hell was to bring him back when he died in Cold Oak. I guess he must of wrote about all that happened back then. I hadn't talked to him about that yet. I was kind of hoping he wouldn't bring it back up."

"Balls!" Bobby huffed out. "Guess that didn't sit well with him."

"To say the least. It's tearing him apart. Whatever progress we made I'm pretty sure is gone now. I don't know what he wrote in his journal since both of us respected the other's privacy and never read them. He's hurting bad right now and I don't know how to help him." Dean said in a tired and almost defeated voice. "I don't know how his mind is going to handle all this info at one time."

"I know yer're not hungry but ya need to eat son. I know you're worried about your brother, but if ya don't take care of yourself who's going to take care of him?"

"Maybe later Bobby..." Dean said getting up and heading out the backdoor. He needed some space to think and decide how to get deal with this and Sammy. Dean automatically headed into the stacks, not even paying attention to where he was going until he stopped at his thinking spot. He had set this up so many years ago and was surprised that it was still here. The old car seat was covered in dirt and leaves but was still useable as he pulled himself into the back of the pickup truck. He swept the trash away with a hand and dropped onto the seat to look out across the yard and empty field adjacent to the salvage yard. His happiness and relief that Sam was up and walking and seemed to be doing better suddenly exploded in his face. He never thought of their journals and what it would mean to Sam if he read his. He reached through the broken back window of the truck and felt around until his hand brushed the bottle he had hidden there. Dean pulled it out and saw there was still whiskey in it and opened it to take a long swallow feeling it burn all the way down to his churning stomach. He coughed hard and cleared his throat looking at the bottle thinking this wasn't the answer but he took another swallow anyway.

 **spn**

Castiel appeared outside the brother's bedroom and looked inside to see Sam still on the bed turned away from the door. He silently stepped into the room and stood by the bed listening to soft sobs coming from the young man. He stepped back to the other bed and carefully sat down not making a sound. He could feel Sam's anguish and despair and clouded mind and wondered what had happened while he was gone. Castiel had only been sitting there for a few minutes before he was startled when Sam spoke to him.

"I know you're there Cas." Sam whispered without turning over. "I can sense your presence in the room."

"How is that possible?" Cas asked knowing he shouldn't be able to do that. He had been silent and not made a sound when entering the room.

"I don't know, but something's changing inside of me and I'm still trying to figure it out." Sam told him as he turned over wiping his face and looking toward where Cas was sitting even if he couldn't see him. "You might as well show yourself."

Castiel appeared sitting on Dean's bed and looked over at Sam as he lay on his own bed. "Dean was worried about you and wanted me to check on you." he finally said when Sam didn't speak.

"I can't stay here Cas." Sam said sitting slowly up on the edge of the bed. He steadied himself and stood being sure he wasn't dizzy and his legs would support him. He stepped to the closet and reached for his to-go bag that he kept packed and stuffed his journal into it alone with some weapons. Sam picked up Dean's wallet and took what cash he had in it and looked in his dresser for some cash he had hidden there for emergencies. He slipped the bills into his pocket and shouldered his pack turning to leave.

"Sam I can't let you leave like this." Cas said standing to stop him but was shocked when Sam turned to him and raised his hand pinning Cas to the bed.

"I'm sorry Cas; I can't let you do that." Sam said. "Tell Dean...Tell him I'm sorry for everything and he's better off without me. I started this mess so I need to clean it up." He mumbled something in Enochian before stepping from the bedroom and going to the one he was using now. He didn't know why that popped into his mind and didn't take time to mull it over. Sam quickly gathered extra clothes and stuffed them in the pack and turned to leave, but paused for a moment when he saw the book on the nightstand that Dean had been reading to him each night. He blinked back the tears and hooked his computer bag over his other shoulder and headed for the stairs knowing he needed to leave before Dean came back. There was no way he would let him leave and he didn't want to fight him. He had caused Dean enough heart aches and didn't want to cause anymore. He had snagged his cane to take with him just in case before heading for the stairs.

Sam wasn't sure how he stopped Cas, but it just came to him and it seemed to work. He stopped for a moment and listened for any movement before slowly and carefully making his way down them and headed for the front door. Sam snagged a set of car keys from a bowl by the door and moved as quickly and quietly as he could toward the cars Bobby had running and found the one the key fit. He got in and cranked it up and headed down the driveway away from his family and the salvage yard. Sam headed away from Sioux Falls knowing that would be the first place Dean would look for him. He needed to find a place to lay low so he could sort things out and work out a plan. Sam knew he was the only one who could stop Lucifer from destroying the world, even if it meant sacrificing himself in the process.

 **spn**

Cas finally was able to move again and was confused at how Sam could have done that to him. The spell he used was ancient and those words had not been spoken in centuries. He headed down the stairs in search of Dean knowing he needed to know Sam was gone.

"Bobby where's Dean?" Cas asked as he looked around for him.

"He needed some air why?"

"Sam's gone." Cas said heading for the backdoor.

"What do you mean gone? How did he get by you?" he asked following him out the door.

"I don't know how he did it, but he incapacitated me." Cas said stopping and listening and letting his senses find the older Winchester. He disappeared, leaving Bobby standing on the porch swearing under his breath.

Cas appeared by the truck and looked over at Dean who stared back, puzzled why he was there. "Sam left Dean. I couldn't stop him."

"Whadda ya mean he left?" Dean growled out as he got up from the seat and jumped to the ground. "How the hell did he get by you and why didn't you stop him?"

"Sam's changing Dean." Cas explained. "I didn't know about it until he used his powers on me just now. I think the grace we gave him has enhanced what powers he already has and may have caused him to develop some new ones."

Dean didn't say anything to this but hurried through the stacks of car with Cas right behind him until he stepped out of them. He jogged for the deck where Bobby was standing waiting on him not sure what he was going to do.

"He took one of the cars I fixed up. I heard it but thought it was you going for a drive to calm down." Bobby told him.

"Does he have his cell? I can track him and see where he's heading." Dean asked hurrying inside to check. He grabbed his cell from his jacket and dialed Sam's number only to hear ringing coming from upstairs. "Damnit he left it." Dean hissed wanting to hit something or throw something. "Can you find him Cas?"

"I have already tried and it seems he's cloaked to me. I can't see him like I use to. He said to tell you he was sorry and you were better off without him and he started this mess so he needed to clean it up."

"That's great! He's going to take on Lucifer on his own...I'm sure that'll end well. I'm heading out to see if I can find him." Dean told Bobby. "How 'bout calling any hunters you're friends with and have them to be on the lookout for him. We need all the eyes we can get looking for him."

"I'll get the alert out." Bobby said heading for his office.

"Cas you're coming with me. I might need your help."

"Of course Dean. I will be waiting down her for you."

Dean hurried up the stairs and into his bedroom grabbing his duffle and throwing clothes into it. He looked in the closet and saw Sam's pack was gone and he had taken his weapons. He swore under his breath as he ducked into the bathroom to grab his things. If he was honest with himself, he should have seen this coming and not left Sam alone. He was beating himself up for letting his guard down and not being here to stop him. Castiel was waiting at the door for him when he came downstairs and Bobby stepped from his office.

"You be careful Dean and don't let your anger take over if you find him. You know how that turned out last time. You don't want to push him farther away than he already is. You know things may still be scrambled in his head and that may make matters worse."

"I know Bobby. I just wanna find him..." Dean said letting his voice trail off before heading on out the door.

"I'll watch out for him." Cas told Bobby before following Dean out the door and to the Impala.

* * *

 **A/N: So what did you think? I know you had to wait for it, but I had to get Sam to this point so I could throw this at you. I hope the wait was worth it. Thank you to any guest who left me reviews, you know they make my day. I do like to know what you think, please review. NC**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Dean climbed into the Impala and cranked her as Castiel dropped into the passenger seat. He glanced over at him thinking that wasn't his place but pressed his lips together into a thin line and clenched his jaw so he wouldn't say anything. He backed up and headed down the driveway, stopping at the road and looking both ways. He tried to think like Sam and which way he would go.

"Dean, I'm getting a sense that he went right here." Cas said looking to the right.

"You sure?" he asked really not wanting to go the wrong way and put himself that much farther away from Sam.

"There's something there..." Cas replied nodding his certainty. "Go right."

"I agree, he wouldn't head for Sioux Falls because that would be the first place I'd go." Dean decided turning right and heading north west away from the salvage yard. "He'll wanna find a place to lay low but he doesn't have much money and he wouldn't use a credit card that could be traced..." Dean mumbled as he went over things in his head. "Maybe he'd find an abandoned house or building to crash in..."

Castiel listened to Dean talking knowing he wasn't supposed to answer him. He knew he needed to talk it out to get a better understanding of what was going on and maybe how to find Sam. He sat quietly and listened to him hash it out with himself. Whatever Castiel was sensing was very weak and he didn't know how long he could track it, but at least it was a start.

 **spn**

Sam had no destination in mind but knew he needed to do a few things up front. One: he needed to fix up a hex bag so no one could track him and two: he needed to do more research. He had been sneaking and doing it when Dean as napping or on supply runs. Dean thought he wasn't strong enough yet and didn't want him doing any, but Sam had to know everything he could. He found articles on freaky bad weather, strange deaths and knew this had to be demon activity and maybe Lucifer. Sam had found and read an old tome on Revelations and the Apocalypse and knew Lucifer would raise the Four Horsemen: War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death, to do his bidding.

He was hundreds of miles away from the salvage yard before finally stopping in a town for gas and to visit an occult shop that sold the items he would need for a hex bag. He got a map and studied it to decide where he wanted to head. After getting what he needed from the shop and grabbing food and gas, Sam was back on the road again. He didn't want to stay in one place too long until he was sure he was far enough away that Dean wouldn't catch up. Not knowing how much of a head start he had, he was going to play it safe and drive a couple more hours before finding an out of the way place to stop. He put the window partway down, since that was as far as it would go, to get some cold air inside to keep him awake. He was already feeling tired and drained but knew he had to keep going a little longer. Sam mulled over all the strange things going on with him and tried to understand what was happening, but got frustrated when none of it made sense. He flipped on the radio and found a station playing soft rock and settled back thinking maybe he just needed a little rest and he would see things clearer in the morning.

 **spn**

The room was small, but clean and there were no weird smells or unsightly stains anywhere. Sam sat his bags on the dresser and decided he needed a hot shower to unwind and wash some of the stress away. He dug into his bag for sleep clothes before going into the bathroom. Sam caught himself in the doorway when a bout of dizziness suddenly had the room spinning. He swallowed back the bile that burnt the back of his throat and drew in some slow, deep breaths to let it pass. When he was sure he wasn't going face plant or puke, Sam moved on into the bathroom and started the water before stripping out of his clothes. He adjusted the shower head as high as it would go before stepping under the spray and letting it beat on his face for a moment. He turned and wet his hair so he could shampoo it and worked on washing his tired body. By the time he was done, dried and clothed, Sam was definitely ready for bed. He pulled the covers down and turned off the overhead lights only leaving on a small lamp across the room. He crawled under the covers and groaned with relief as he settled into the mattress to sleep. Sam lay there trying to let sleep come, but found it was harder than he expected. His eyes came back open and he stared up at the ceiling as his mind reeled not allowing him to find sleep. It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning that his mind was overcome with fatigue and he slept, but it wasn't peaceful.

 **spn**

"I'm going to need to stop for gas and grab something to eat." Dean said as he glanced at the fuel gauge.

"Would you like me to drive for awhile?" Cas asked sensing how tired Dean was getting. "Or we could stop at a motel and you could get some rest."

"And he gets farther away from us."

"Sam's still recovering; he'll have to stop too. He may not be that far ahead of us."

"Damnit!" Dean growled slamming his hands on the steering wheel knowing Cas was right. He was going to have to stop and try and get some sleep so he could think straight and be prepared to deal with his brother. "You're right, we'll have to stop. I'll drive a few more hours before finding a motel for the night."

"That is a wise choice." Cas said happy Dean was being reasonable and not pushing himself to the point of exhaustion.

They drove on in silence, stopping for food and gas and Dean true to his word drove a few more hours before stopping at a small motel and getting a room for the night. His thoughts were on his brother and he wondered what state of mind he was in right now and why he ran like that. It didn't make any sense in Dean's mind as he tried to think like Sam, but couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation. His sleep was troubled but he refused to let Cas put him to sleep. He tossed and turned hoping Sam was okay and he would find him soon.

 **spn**

Sam jerked awake as the dream blew up in his mind and lay there drawing in some deep breaths as everything came back to him. This time the image of Dean was much worse and he was sure that the last punch he had received was a fatal blow. Sam saw his body go limp and the light dimmed in his eyes and went out as he breathed his last breathe. He panted hard as the dream faded from him mind leaving him shaken and afraid. He knew he had to protect Dean and that meant staying away from him and doing this on his own. He lay there for a few more minutes to calm down and let his racing heart slow.

It was still early, but he knew there would be no more sleep for him. Knowing he was going to have to be stronger than he was now, Sam tossed a blanket on the floor and laid down to do some stretches, sit ups, push ups and leg lifts. He pushed himself as sweat popped out on his forehead as he bicycled his legs feeling the muscles tighten and ache. Not wanting to over do it, Sam stopped and lay in the floor panting as he let himself cool down. After a few minutes, he got up and headed to the bathroom to shower so he could leave. He knew Dean would be looking for him and was going to make up a couple of hex bags to help hide him before he left. He was going to find an out of the way place to hole up and prepare himself physically and mentally for the battle ahead of him.

After finding some clean clothes, Sam went into the bathroom to shower and get dressed actually a little surprised that he didn't seem tired from the exercises, though his mind was still troubled from what he was sure was a vision. It was like his body needed the workout to get better. After packing his bags to have them ready to go, he spread out the items needed for the hex bags on the table and quickly put them together. He spoke the spell in Latin to activate them. One went in his pocket and the other he was going to leave in the car as backup if needed. Sam checked out a map he picked up and studied it trying to decide where would be the best place to lay low until he was ready for battle. He found a place and looked it up online to see what was in the area and found a place that rented cabins that would suit his needs. It was isolated and would allow him to cook his meals instead of going out for them. He reserved a one bedroom, one of the smallest, online and plotted a course for the place.

He thought about ditching the car for another, but figured no one would be paying much attention to the beat up, clunker that he had taken. The outside wasn't much to look at, but Bobby had worked on the motor and had it running smoothly. After checking to be sure he had everything, Sam gathered his bags and stowed them in the car. He could tell his muscles were slightly sore and stretched a little before getting in the driver's seat. He cranked the car and headed back out on the main road deciding to run through a drive thru to get a coffee and breakfast sandwich. His appetite wasn't the greatest, but knew he had to eat to give his body the nutrients needed to keep getting stronger.

 **spn**

The small town was waking up when Sam slowly made his way through it and found a grocery store that was open and stopped to pick up some food before going on to the cabin. He got out and headed inside getting a buggy and heading for the produce section first. He picked up some fruit and vegetables before heading for the dairy and meat section. He wanted to get enough food for at least a week so he wouldn't have to go back out until then. He was picky and only got the basics and sale items to save money. Once he had everything, Sam headed for the checkout calculating in his head how much money he was going to need. He knew he couldn't use plastic because it could be traced to him. Somehow he was going to have to hustle up some more cash. But for right now, he had enough to get by and waited in line to check out. Sam pushed the buggy out into the parking lot and toward his car checking out the area for anything out of place. He was still on edge and wouldn't relax until he got to the cabin rental and got settled. The cabins were located far enough outside of town for them to be isolated. He looked at the directions he had jotted down and made sure he was heading in the right direction before pulling out on the road out of town.

 **spn**

Dean woke with a jerk and looked around to see he was alone in the motel room and the past twenty-four hours came flooding back. He let his head fall back on the pillow for a moment; drawing in some slow breaths before making his weary body get up and stumble to the bathroom. He didn't know where Cas was but knew he would catch up with him if he left before he got back.

"I've lost Sam." Cas stated when Dean stepped from the bathroom making him jump in surprise.

"A little warning Cas." Dean complained. "Whadda ya mean you lost Sam?"

"I can't find the trail I was following anymore. I have been searching for the past hour. It's like Sam vanished or has been warded against me now."

"That's just great." Dean complained, growling angrily as he stalked across the room.

"What are you going to do Dean?" Cas asked.

"I'm going to keep looking and hope someone runs across him and gets word to Bobby. I can't give up, not this time." Dean said grabbing clean clothes and heading into the bathroom. He closed the door and leaned back against it wondering what he was going to do. Sam could be anywhere by now but he thought he'd find a place to hold up until he was stronger. He pushed himself from the door and dropped clean clothes at the sink before turning to the shower to start the water. He decided they would look for a couple more days and if nothing turned up head back to Bobby's to regroup. Dean had a bad feeling about this and knew Sam was getting in over his head and he had no way of stopping him. He just hoped they could find him before something bad happened.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for the support with this story and to the guests that have left reviews thank you. Review if you can. NC**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Sam found the office for the cabin rentals and went in to check in and get keys. He looked around the cozy place thinking it had that homey touch and waited as an older man to step from the other room.

"Hello, I have a reservation for a one bedroom cabin." Sam told him. "And would you mind if I could get one away from others if you have it."

"I think that can be arranged, your name?" the owner asked giving Sam a warm smile. "We're actually on the slow side so there are not many guests here right now. Name's Hank by the way, we're pretty informal around here."

"It's John Smith, I did an online reservation." Sam replied knowing better than to use his real name and figured that was generic enough to be hard to trace.

"Let's see, yes, I have you right here Mr. Smith and you wanted it for a week."

"Yes, but I might stay longer if it's still available."

"That'll be no problem. If you sign here and will that be on a card today?"

"No, I'll pay cash." Sam said signing the guest card that he printed out.

"You're in luck, we're running a special if you stay five nights you get two nights free. So your total for a one bedroom will be one hundred and eighty-five dollars."

"Sounds good." Sam said peeling two one hundred dollar bills from the money he took from Dean. He accepted the change back and stuffed it in his pocket.

"Here you go your key and here's a map of the area showing hiking trails, points of interest and we have a small store beside the office where you can purchase basic supplies, like milk, eggs, bread, canned goods if you need anything. Behind the office is a small laundry room. We found a lot of people preferred to go ahead and wash their clothes here. If you need anything just come up here and ask me or my wife Gracie. We'll be glad to help you."

"Thanks Hank." Sam said smiling shyly at him and his willingness to help. "Could I ask you a favor?"

"Sure thing son, what's on your mind?"

"You see...I sort of had a falling out with my family and...I had to get away for awhile to sort things out and was wondering if anyone asked about someone fitting my description that you wouldn't tell them I'm here." Sam got out in one breath and stilled waiting for an answer.

Hank looked at the young man seeing worry and a hint of tiredness on it. "Won't be a problem. I can relate to your situation. My family pretty much disowned me a long time ago for something I tried to do to help my father. I thought I was doing the right thing, but everyone else thought otherwise and we haven't spoken since. Families can be brutal sometimes, so don't you worry. I won't say anything to anyone."

"Thank you." Sam sighed letting out the breath he was holding in. "I really appreciate that." he said holding out his hand to shake Hank's.

"You just try to relax and enjoy the beauty Mother Nature has provided us. If you want maid service I can have Gracie come down and clean for you. We don't have phones in the cabins, but there is internet. Seemed some people can't live without it and had to add it to the package."

"I think I'll be okay. I'm not very messy. I'll come by for clean sheets and towels in a few days." Sam replied.

"There's a dumpster at the head of the cabins for trash and there's extra bags in the cans. If you follow the road on around you'll start seeing cabins. Your's is the last one on the right. It's more private than the others and you're closer to the small lake and hiking trails."

"I appreciate everything Hank. I'll try not to be a bother."

"No bother young man, I hope everything works out for you and between your family and you."

"Me too." Sam said quietly and he nodded to him and took the map and key and headed back out to find his cabin. He got in the car and followed Hank's directions noticing only a couple of cabins had cars parked at them and rounded a curve to see a cabin sitting off to itself. He looked at the number on the key and compared it to the large number on one of the posts of the porch and saw it was what he wanted. He pulled up the driveway and to the side of the cabin before stopping and getting out. The place looked rustic but well maintained. Sam walked up the two steps to a small porch and unlocked the door, letting it swing open so he could glance around before entering.

He stepped into a large room that was the living room/dining room/kitchen combined. Off to the right he could see an open door leading into a bedroom and a bathroom beside it. The kitchen had apartment size appliances which was fine for him. He stepped further into the room letting his eyes roam over everything thinking this was perfect. Sam turned on a ceiling fan and opened a couple of windows to let some fresh, clean air inside before heading back to the car to get everything. He unpacked the bags and put the cold things in the fridge and the other things in a cabinet. He found everything he would need to cook with in the cabinets and drawers. Once he was finished in the kitchen, Sam headed to the bedroom to check it out. There was a queen size bed, dresser, small closet, overstuffed chair by the window and a nightstand with a lamp sitting on it. He pulled out his clothes and put them in the top drawer of the dresser and looked at the journal that fell out with them. Sam stilled himself before picking it up and putting it on the nightstand. Maybe he would look at it later tonight, but right now he needed some fresh air. After grabbing his key, Sam locked the door behind him and wandered back down the driveway and followed the signs pointing toward the lake.

Hank was right this was just what he needed to take away some of the burden and stress he was carrying. The air was filled with all kinds of sounds and a cool breeze blew through the trees keeping the temperature down. The path opened up on a postcard scene with the lake, bulrushes, ducks, dragonflies, and fish jumping. Sam paused to take it all in thinking Mother Nature did a good job here. There was a small dock at the lake, but he wandered on around following the path to the other side and veered down a side path that took him to higher ground. He hiked for about thirty minutes before deciding it was time to turn back when he noticed some distant clouds building up and moving his way. He picked up his pace and headed back not wanting to get caught in a storm. The cabin came into view as the first few drops of rain started to fall and Sam jogged for to porch. After catching his breath, he unlocked the door and went inside to check the windows to be sure the rain wouldn't blow in.

 **spn**

Over the following week, Sam worked out hard and ran and hiked and it seemed the more he pushed himself the easier it was to accomplish his goals. It was like he was being recharged or renewed and wondered if the angel grace had anything to do with it. He was glad for the internet connection and got right to work the first day hacking into Dean's laptop and Bobby's cell. He wanted to be alerted of any sightings of Lucifer and if they were zeroing in on him. After all his research and studying, he finally found an unknown script that spoke about four rings and that they could open a door into the pits of hell. Sam was sure it meant into the cage and the four rings had to belong to the Four Horsemen. He thought this might be the only way to stop Lucifer and began searching for signs of the Horseman. Sam set up algorithms to monitor the weather, deaths, disasters, and any occurrences that might point to the supernatural. He had already decided that in order to put Lucifer back in the cage he would have to sacrifice himself to do it. It ripped his heart and soul apart that he was going to leave his brother, but knew it was for the best. He had created this world ending mess and it was his job to clean it up.

The week was almost up when he intercepted a call from an old friend of Bobby's, a fellow hunter named Rufus. The brothers had worked a few hunts with him and he was as ornery and cankerous as Bobby, but he knew his stuff. He was in a small town in Colorado called Riverpass that had been taken over by demons and wanted Bobby to send anyone he could his way. Something didn't sound right and Sam started checking out the town seeing no omens or signs that demons were anywhere near the place. He decided it was worth checking out since he wasn't that far away from the town.

His week was up the next day so he packed his stuff up so he could head out early the next morning. He had eaten most of the food over the week since his appetite had really gotten better. It was like his body was craving the energy the food was giving him and wanted more. Sam hiked up to the laundry room that night and washed his clothes and went in to tell Hank and Gracie good-bye that he would be leaving very early the next day. They visited while his clothes washed and dried and wished him the best of luck and to come back again. Sam agreed if he came back this way to stop for a few days. He grew very fond of the couple and hated to leave but knew he had to since the world couldn't save itself.

 **spn**

Sam parked the car on the outskirts of town and armed himself before silently making his way down the street. He stayed in the shadows and alleys as he moved through the deserted streets looking for any signs of life. He spotted smoke coming from a house a street over and made his way toward it. Sam ducked into a doorway when people armed with guns made their way down the street and was surprised to see Ellen in the lead. He could hear talk and mumbling about people being possessed and frowned in puzzlement. Sam saw they were heading for the house that he was moving toward and fell in behind them, keeping his distance. When he got closer, he could see movement inside the house and guns being stuck out the windows. He recognized one face as Rufus and was totally confused why Ellen would be fighting him. A middle aged short man faltered back from the group and slunk away so Sam followed him thinking something didn't seem quiet right about him. He followed him and saw him stop at a cherry red Mustang and knew somehow this had to be a Horseman.

"Hey!" Sam growled at him as he pulled the demon knife from his jacket. Once he was closer he could see the dark soul inside of the body and see the ring he was turning on his finger. "You caused these people to turn against one another didn't you?"

"It wasn't hard; all it took was a couple of people seeing what wasn't there. That there's a sweet knife you got." War spoke without fear. "Come on you can't kill War Kiddo."

"I know." Sam hissed and jumped him pinning his hand down and quickly slicing off fingers on the hand that he wore a gold ring on. The ring fell to the ground and War cried out in pain before disappearing in the blink of an eye. Without his ring he was not powerful and wasn't about to let himself get killed. Sam drew in a hard breath and reached down to pick up the bloody ring to look at. He could see sigils and inscriptions etched into it and clamped a hand around it thinking one down and three to go.

"Sam?" Rufus called to him as Ellen and him stepped around the corner of the building.

Sam eyes went wide with fright and scooped up the keys War had dropped and jumped into the Mustang. He cranked her up and threw it in reverse and stomped the gas sending the car flying to the other end of the alley. Once there, he threw in into drive and gunned it sending smoke and dirt back behind him as he fought to keep it under control and get away. Sam knew Rufus would call Bobby and that meant Dean would know he was there. He needed to put some distance between him and this town. He stopped long enough to get his things from Bobby's car and throw them in the Mustang before heading for the interstate to lose himself in the traffic.

 **spn**

Bobby was sitting at his desk going over some books when his cell rang. He looked at the caller ID before answering it.

"Rufus, did those other hunters get there to help?" Bobby asked.

"Bobby, did you send Sam Winchester here?" Rufus questioned.

"No, you saw Sam?" Bobby asked sitting up and paying attention.

"Yeah, the strangest thing, everyone looked like they were possessed and suddenly no one looked possessed. Ellen and me were checking out the area and saw Sam standing by a red Mustang looking at something bloody in his hand. When I called to him, he took off like a bat out of hell. I don't know what's wrong with that boy, but he didn't hang around to answer any questions."

"Look I'm sending Dean and Cas your way; you tell him what you told me. We've been looking for that boy for weeks now." Bobby said hanging up and heading for the kitchen to tell Dean about Sam. He knew Cas could transport them both there in seconds and maybe they could get a lead on where he was heading. This was their first real lead since Sam disappeared and he hoped this would end the hunt for him. He could see how Sam being out there on his own again was destroying Dean. Bobby knew he was afraid that something like before might happen again and Sam wouldn't make it out alive this time.

* * *

 **A/N: One down and three to go. Is Sam going to be strong enough to get the other rings and will Dean find him before everything goes sideways? Thank you for reading my creation and I hope you are enjoying it. Reviews make my day. NC**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

It was four hours later before Sam felt safe enough to slow down and take a breath. He pulled into a gas station to fill the Mustang and knew he needed another car. This cherry red tomato was too conspicuous for him to be driving for long. He planned on swapping it out in the next town he came to, besides it was a little tight fit for his long frame. Sam got out and stretched his arms to the sky and twisted at the waist, stretching his tired muscles. After a minute of calming down, Sam pumped his gas and went in to grab a drink and something to snack on.

He couldn't believe that he had one of the rings and was that much closer to stopping Lucifer. He settled back into the car and tried to get comfortable in the cramped space before opening his drink and pulling back out onto the road. He kept a close eye on the road behind him to be sure he wasn't being followed by anyone. It was an hour to the next town and he wanted to ditch this car as soon as possible. By the time he got there it would be late and he hoped to find a used car lot that would serve his purpose. Sam figured leaving the Mustang would be a good enough trade for a less conspicuous car.

 **spn**

Dean stumbled slightly as Cas and him appeared in an alley in the Colorado town where Rufus saw Sam. Once he was stable, he headed out to find Rufus and Ellen and question them. Cas fell in beside him and kept pace knowing Dean was anxious since this was the first real lead they had gotten on Sam.

"Rufus." Dean called to the man with his back to him talking to some people.

"Dean, Bobby said you'd be coming, didn't think you could get here this fast." Rufus replied turning to see Dean bearing down on him.

"Tell me about Sam." Dean stated getting down to business.

"Like I told Bobby, he was in the alley and before I could get to him he jumped into a red Mustang and drove away."

"Dean Winchester! It's been awhile." Ellen said loudly as she walked up to them with her daughter Jo.

"Ellen, Jo, good to see you." Dean said letting his eyes linger on Jo for a moment.

"Hey Dean." Jo said arching an eyebrow and smirking at him as she sidled up to him.

"Jo Beth behave." Ellen said sternly pulling her back from Dean.

"Did you see Sammy too?"

"Yes and I gotta say he looked fine but he acted crazy. When he saw us it was like he was afraid of us and took off. What's going on Dean? What's wrong with your brother?"

"He's trying to stop the devil on his own." Dean growled swiping a hand down his face. "I'm trying to catch up with him and stop him from getting himself killed."

"Dean!" Cas called to him from an alleyway nearby.

"What Cas?" Dean asked heading his way and stopping to look around at what Cas was looking at.

"I can't find anything here Dean, but I know War was here, his power still lingers in the air." Cas told Dean as they stood where the red Mustang had been parked. "I think this red Mustang was what War was driving."

"War, as in one of the four Horsemen?" Dean questioned in surprise. "You're kidding?"

"No, I don't kid Dean." Cas stated.

"I know Cas." Dean sighed rolling his eyes at Cas not understanding him.

"His blood was spilled right here and something was taken from him. It is what gave him power." Cas said looking right and left.

"You mean Sammy took on a Horseman and won?" Dean asked in amazement. "Way to go little brother."

"It would seem so and I think he intends on seeking out the other three also, but I'm not sure why."

"How would he have known one was here and what did he do?" Dean asked walking further down the alley to look around. Something lying on the ground caught his attention and he bent down to check it out. "Cas...Do you think the demon knife could injure a horseman?"

"I don't know why?" Cas asked stepping to him and looking down at the ground.

"You think this might be his finger?" Dean asked pulling a bandana out and picking up a severed finger.

Cas touched the finger and frowned for a moment before answering. "This is War's. He was the one that turned the townspeople against each other. Dean this is a ring finger, do you think Sam now has his ring?"

"I'd bet my Baby he does." Dean said dropping the finger back to the ground. "C'mon there's no use hanging around here, Sam's long gone."

"What now?" Cas asked.

"There's nothing more we can do here. Rufus and Ellen can clean this up, take me back to Bobby's and we'll try to track down the other Horsemen. If we find them, I think we'll find Sam." Dean said feeling more defeated than ever. He didn't know what was happening to his little brother and he was worried and concerned about him. He hoped Bobby could give him some info on the Four Horsemen and maybe Ash could figure out how to track them because he decided where they were...He would also find his brother.

"As you wish." Cas said taking his arm to transport them back to Bobby's.

He readied himself as Cas placed a hand on his arm and they disappeared. They appeared in an empty living room and Dean sucked in a hard breath as he let the effects of angel travel wear off. He hated doing this, but it was the fastest way to get somewhere when time was of the essence.

 **spn**

Sam drove away from the town in an older model, silver, Chevy Tahoe feeling more camouflaged and more comfortable. He had broken into the used car lot and found the keys deciding it was suitable. He transferred his things and left the Mustang at the front with the keys in it thinking they could take care of it.

Sam planned on driving a few more hours before finding a motel for the night so he could try and get some rest and regroup. He was happy that the hex bags seemed to be working since there had been no signs of Castiel. He was sure Dean had him scouring the area for any signs of him and if he had found any he would have showed up by now. Sam knew there was no way he could convince Dean to let him do this alone and wasn't going to waste his time trying. He turned on the radio and found a station to his liking and adjusted the volume before settling back for the drive ahead of him. Even thought he was studying the road and everything around him, Sam's brain was also working on how to find the next Horseman. He didn't know which one it would be since there were three remaining. He had a feeling that his best bet was finding Famine or Pestilence since he didn't think Death would have been summoned yet. From all he had read he would be the hardest one to call forth and Lucifer would have to bind him to make him do his bidding.

After nearly two hours of driving, Sam decided to call it quits and started looking for a decent motel that he could afford on his last measly dollars. He was going to have to figure out a way to get more money or he would be sleeping in the SUV, but it wouldn't the first time he had done that. He wanted to fill up before getting a room so he could head out bright and early and find another place to lay low and start searching again. Sam found an exit that offered numerous gas stations and several motels and signaled to exit from the interstate. After scanning what prices he could see, Sam headed for a gas station and pulled up to the pumps. He pulled up to the pump and went inside to pay with cash.

"Good afternoon to you sonny." the older man greeted him from behind the register. "How can I help you?"

"I need to get...I guess ten dollars of gas on pump twelve..." Sam replied pulling out his money and checking it. "Man, I wish I could fill it up, but money's tight right now and I don't have enough for gas and a motel room."

"No problem, you go ahead and fill it up." the man said punching in some numbers on the machine that operated the pumps.

"Ummm...But I can't pay." Sam said perplexed with the man's actions.

"You need to fill up right?"

"Yes..."

"You asked and that's what I'm gonna let you do."

Sam was more confused and he remembered something he read and did an experiment. "Mind if I take a drink and granola bar?"

"No you go right ahead young man. Nice day out there isn't it?" he said not knowing what he was really saying.

"Thank you and I'll send you money when I get more." Sam said taking a drink and granola bar and heading out to fill up his car. He was pretty sure that he put that suggestion in the clerk's head and that's why he let him take the two items and fill his car. He didn't like taking advantage of this but right now...It was all he had. Sam was going to take down the address and send money when he had it to pay for the gas and purchases. He filled the SUV and got back on the road to pick out a motel for the night. He chose one farther from the interstate knowing it would have fewer guests and knew they were usually cheaper. He checked in using his new found power and took his things into the room deciding he needed to shower before going to bed. Taking on War wasn't very physical, but it drained him mentally. He dug clean briefs and a tee shirt out and stepped into the bathroom. Sam was going to add this place to his list so he could reimburse them later.

 **spn**

Sam dropped onto the bed but was too wired to sleep yet. He pulled his duffle toward him and pulled the ring from an inside pocket and looked at it closely. He couldn't quiet make out the symbols on it and held it closer to the light. They looked familiar but he could place where he had seemed them before. With a sigh, Sam stored it back in the pocket for safe keeping. His hand brushed across his journal and he pulled it out looking at it for a moment before picking up a pen from the nightstand and opening it to a clean page. Sam began to write notes down about War and the ring and what had happened. His eyes blurred when he pictured Dean knowing Cas would have brought them there to check it out. He could almost feel his anguish to have been so close to catching him but didn't. It tore Sam up to cause his brother so much heartache, but considering the alternative...He hoped Dean would understand if he ever got to tell him. Sam was looking at this mission as one he would not survive. With a heavy heart, he closed the book and slid down in the bed knowing he needed rest.

 **spn**

Cas wandered into the kitchen to find Dean sitting at the kitchen table with a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sitting in front of him and music playing in the background from an old radio Bobby had put in the kitchen. The words to the song caught his attention and he stopped to listen to them.

 _'...You don't know Jack  
Double shot, eighty proof, on the rocks  
Until you've lost it all_  
 _And you can't go back  
To your life, and your kids, and your ex-wife  
With just a telephone call  
If you think it's just a bottle  
In an old brown paper sack  
You don't know Jack ...'_

Cas looked back at Dean as he poured another healthy shot into his glass and swirled it around before downing half of it in one long swallow. He didn't even acknowledge Cas being in the room as he drank his sorrows and pain away. Cas didn't know how much Dean had drunk already, but could tell he was drunk. Cas wanted to say something but knew he wasn't in any condition to listen right now. He continued to listen to the music wondering if Dean was hearing any of it.

 _'...If you never felt the fire  
Running through your veins  
If you've never seen the devil  
Face to face _

_You don't know Jack  
Double shot, eighty proof, on the rocks  
Until you've lost it all  
So brother just be glad, and tonight  
Hold your kids, kiss your wife  
And when you talk to God  
Count up all your blessings  
And thank the good Lord that  
You don't know Jack  
You don't know Jack'_

"Haven't you had enough?" Cas asked reaching for the bottle to take it from Dean but he caught his hand in an iron hard grasp before he could remove the bottle.

"Not if there's still whiskey in the bottle?" Dean growled knowing this wasn't the answer but couldn't stop himself. Sam leaving like he did and now to find out he was going after the Horseman almost broke him, but he couldn't give up yet. He had to find his brother before he got himself killed. He took the last swallow in his glass and capped the bottle deciding he had had enough.

Cas grabbed him before he could fall when he stood and staggered sideways. He transported them upstairs only to have Dean stumble for the bathroom as his stomach rebelled with the sudden movement. Dean dropped down in front of the commode and retched hard tasting Jack one more time.

* * *

 **A/N: Dean's not handling Sam's disappearance very well. I do like reviews...NC**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

 _The cemetery was lit by a dull sun that was covered by rolling clouds as he looked around. He spotted the black Impala sitting off to the side and took a step closer seeing something on the ground beside it. He sucked in a sharp breath when Sam saw it was his brother, beaten and bloody. He felt something in his hand and looked down to see four rings linked together and blood on his knuckles._

" _S'mmy...I'm here..." Dean slurred through swollen and split lips as he reached for him._

"Dean..." Sam cried out sitting straight up in bed as he tried to pull in a breath of air. He wheezed and panted hard as the vivid images of the vision were still fresh in his mind. He wasn't sure what it meant but he knew it had to be about putting Lucifer back in the cage. Sam dropped back down on the pillow and tried to calm his breathing and slow his racing heart. He didn't know where this cemetery was or what his role was in this, but he was sure he had attacked his brother and beaten him badly. He couldn't stop the tears that slid out of his tightly closed eyes and run down his cheeks. It took him a few minutes to calm down and glance at the clock to see it wasn't time to get up. He sighed and threw an arm over his eyes as he tried to decide if he could go back to sleep or if he wanted to go back to sleep. The dream disturbed him because he had a feeling it was a vision of the future.

Seeing sleep was not in the cards, Sam pushed himself from the bed and sat on the side of it taking a few deep breaths before tossing a blanket on the floor to start his exercise routine. Since he had been gone, Sam religiously worked out to get his body back into shape. It seemed the more he exercised the more he craved it. His body responded positively to the workouts and he didn't stop until he was coated in sweat and breathing hard. Sam lay there as he caught his breath. He liked to include a run but didn't wanna chance it this early in the morning, so had worked double his usual time. He was going to get a shower and pack up to leave and find some place he could stay for a while to start the search for another Horseman. He grabbed some clean clothes and headed for the bathroom thinking a shower was going to feel really good.

 **spn**

"You're up early." Bobby commented as Dean stumbled into the kitchen and headed for the pot of freshly made coffee.

"Yeah..." Dean mumbled as he took his first sip of coffee, closing his eyes and relishing the taste. He took several more sips hoping it would wake him up. He had a restless night and didn't get much sleep after finding out Sam was hunting the Four Horsemen and it didn't help with the amount of whiskey he had consumed. "So what can ya tell me 'bout the Four Horsemen?"

"Step into my office." Bobby said taking his cup of coffee and heading that way.

Dean pushed from the counter and followed Bobby through the living room and into the room he had made his office. He pulled a chair closer to the large desk as Bobby took a seat behind it and slid several books his way. Dean looked at him and at the books waiting for him to say something.

"Start reading." Bobby said as he picked up more books and sat them beside the others.

"Wanna give me the cliff version?" Dean asked staring at the books in disgust. "How are they linked to the devil?"

"Seems the devil summons the Horsemen to help bring on the Apocalypse." Bobby huffed. "And before you ask, I think Sam was reading these before he left. They were out of place and I found some notes in one of the books."

"Sonovabitch..." Dean muttered in disbelief. "He must've been sneaking around behind my back and doing it."

"What I think he found was this..." Bobby said opening one of the older books to a marked page and turned it for Dean to read the paper where he had translated the passage.

Dean picked up the book and began to read what Bobby had scribbled out. He looked up in surprise at him and then read it again, slower this time.

"You think this is true?" he asked leaning back in his chair while balancing the book on his knee.

"I don't know but I think yer brother thinks it is."

"And that's why he's tracking them." Dean ended in a huff. "So I guess we need to be tracking them too. I'll get in touch with Ash and see what he can do about that." Dean got up to find his jacket and get his cell to make a call. What he didn't know was that his brother was hacking his calls and would know what he was doing, along with piggy backing Ash's signal to know what he was finding too.

 **spn**

The motel sat on the outskirts of the small town that Sam decided would be good to hold up for a while. He had gotten a room with a kitchenette and went to a small grocery store later at night to get supplies for a week. He figured the less his face was out in public, the less likely someone he knew would spot him and get in touch with Dean. There was a hiking trail back behind the motel that he had checked out and would be suitable for his early morning runs. He settled in and checked on his sniffer programs to see if Ash had found anything else out and to see what Dean was doing. Sam grunted madly when he saw Dean had figured out that he was going after the Horsemen and knew he needed to work harder to stay ahead of him so maybe he needed to seek some help with this from others. He remembered a red head from college who was a genius on the computer, even better than him. All he had to do was find her since she liked to slide under the radar. Sam pulled his laptop closer and started typing beginning his search for Charlie Bradbury.

Sam found a couple of other friends on social media and reached out to them about her, hoping one of them would be able to provide information. He went back to looking for signs of the Horsemen while he waited for someone to get back to him. Twenty minutes later Sam saw he had an email and opened it up. It was from one of the few friends he had made at Stanford and he provided him with the last email he had for Charlie and wished him luck and to stop by so they could catch up.

After writing the email address down, Sam closed down the email account he was using and created another with a different identity. He scrubbed his trail and typed up an email to Charlie to see if she would contact him giving her his burner cell number. He got up deciding to get a run in before eating and made sure to take his cell with him in case Charlie called while he was out. Sam started out in a slow jog as he neared the hiking trail and picked up the pace as the trail wove its way into the mountains. About halfway into the second mile the trail got steeper until it leveled off at the top of the ridge. Sam pulled up and took a break as he drew in some slow breaths letting his body cool down. He fumbled in his pocket for his cell when it began to ring and quickly answered it hoping it was Charlie.

"H'llo." Sam said trying to catch his breath.

"Is this Sam Campbell?" a female voice asked.

"Charlie...Yes it's me. Thanks for calling me back." Sam replied going over to find a place to sit on some rocks. He had used Mary's maiden name when signing up for college to stay under anyone's radar. The Winchester name was known to good and bad alike and he agreed with Dean and their Dad better to play it safe than be sorry later on.

"It's been a long time Sam, how's it hanging?" Charlie said.

"I've been better. I could use your help with something...Computer wise."

"So what do you need?" she asked her interest peaked.

"Charlie, I need you to understand some things..." Sam started hoping she wasn't going to think he was nuts and hang up on him. "Man where do I start...Look Charlie you need to have an open mind about what I'm going to tell you...I mean don't freak out..."

"Sure Sam."

"I need to find some...People that aren't really people."

"You know Sam this sounds like a conversation we should have in person. Where are you?" Charlie asked.

"That's probably a good idea." Sam agreed giving her the name of the motel and where it was at.

"Okay, I'll find it and be there as soon as I can. Later bitches..." Charlie said before hanging up.

Sam smiled to himself remembering how she was back in college and didn't think she had changed much since then. He didn't know how long it would take her to get there and decided to go grab a few more supplies. He pushed himself from the rock and started the journey back down the trail at a steady pace. He was going to shower and then do the errand.

 **spn**

It was almost four in the morning when Sam was woken by a knock at his door. He jerked awake and grabbed his gun from under the pillow before going to answer it. He put the gun to the door and opened it a crack to see a red head looking out across the parking lot before turning back around.

"Are ya going to let me in or what?" Charlie asked when she saw Sam peaking through a crack in the door.

"Hey Charlie." Sam smiled un-cocking the gun and opening the door for her.

"Sorry about the time, but you sounded sort of funny on the phone." Charlie said stepping into the room and glancing around. She noticed the gun he had but didn't say anything about it.

"Take a seat and let me put some clothes on." Sam said grabbing up some clothes and heading for the bathroom to get more presentable. He found Charlie sitting at the table sipping on a juice when he came back out.

"Hope you don't mind I helped myself." she said nodding to the juice.

"No that's fine, I can make some coffee if you like?" he asked stepping toward the coffee pot.

"I'm good, so should we get down to business as to why you need my help and why you have a gun?" she asked getting to the point.

"Man!...This is going to sound crazy and you're probably going to think I'm nuts but here goes..." Sam started working up the courage to tell her the truth and hope for the best. "No one ever knew much about me at school 'cause they wouldn't understand. I was what we call a hunter. I gave it up and decided to go to college, but my brother and father continued to hunt. I went back to hunting after Jess was killed because she was killed by a demon and so were my father and mother. Yes, I said demon. They're real, and so are angels, vampires, werewolves, spirits, ghouls and a lot of other nasty creatures." Sam paused and looked at Charlie to see her frowning and could tell she was trying to process everything. "I need you to help me find the remaining Horsemen that Lucifer released on the world."

"Wait...So the devil is real and the Four Horsemen are real too?"

"Afraid so." Sam sighed. "It was my fault he got out of the Cage and I need to put him back in it."

"Wow..."

"So are you ready to run screaming into the night?" Sam chuckled bitterly. "You think I'm a freak or belong in the loony bin?"

"I gotta say that's a lot to take in, but from the first time I met you I thought you were a kindred spirit. If you're a freak than I am too. It's hard to imagine what you're telling me is real, but I'm really not surprised. I've always thought there was more out there than we were aware of. I always had a feeling of not quiet belonging while I was in school. I don't know if you ever felt the same way, but I don't think you're crazy."

"Yeah, you're right. I tried so hard to fit in and act normal, but deep down I knew..." Sam started but let his thoughts trail off as his eyes lost focus and glazed over.

Charlie waited patiently for Sam to come back not freaked or upset by his episode. It was several minutes before he blinked rapidly and tried to focus on her.

"Sorry about that." he mumbled quietly as he rubbed his eyes.

"So what can I do to help you?" she asked not questioning what just happened.

"I need help trying to track down the remaining Horsemen. I found one but there's three more out there. I've been trying to track demon signs but maybe you can tweak my program?"

"Let me see what you've got and fill me in on demons and their habits and what I should be aware of." Charlie said sliding around when Sam opened his laptop for her to see. "I need a quick course on Demons 101."

"I can tell you what I know." Sam replied. "I also have a sniffer program on my brother's phone and laptop and another hacker's laptop so I'll know what they're doing and if they find anything."

"And you covered your tracks so they can't back trace you?" Charlie asked as she began to type. "I'm assuming you don't want to be found by them."

"Yes, I caused this mess so I need to clean it up." Sam whispered.

"Don't worry if they're out there, I'll find them. Exactly who are we looking for?"

"Famine, Pestilence and Death. I already found War and got his ring."

"So the rings are their power?"

"I think so, but I need them for another reason." he said not explaining any further as he grew quiet.

Charlie didn't bother to question him further since she knew he wanted to keep some things to himself. She was blown away by what Sam told her and planned on doing some research of her own on the supernatural. This was something she could get in to and wanted to study up on it. She glanced sideways at Sam and saw he was deep in thought as he sat watching her. Charlie had no idea how he was going to pull this off on his own and wondered where his brother was and why Sam didn't have him helping.

* * *

 **A/N: Love Charlie and like to include her in my stories when I can. Thanks for all the support and I hope you are enjoying the read. Make my day and leave a review. NC**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Charlie sat back in her chair after nearly three hours of typing and listening to Sam give her a crash course on monsters, demons, the devil and the Four Horsemen. "Okay dude, I've beefed up your firewalls and tweeted your programs to work better. I gotta say this guy you're hacking has some skills, but of course mine are better." she smirked taping one final key on Sam's laptop.

"That would be Ash and he's sort of an odd ball like us. You would never think he had the smarts just to look at him." Sam chuckled letting himself relax a little. It was good to talk to someone about all this and not have a big brother trying to be so overprotective. It was good to just have someone else on his side and to have the company. It was hard being alone after being with Dean for so long and having someone watch your back.

"We're not odd balls Sam, we're unique and an acquired taste." Charlie shrugged as she giggled at her own joke.

"That we are." Sam laughed along with her. He could feel some of the stress drain from him and sighed happily. "Thanks for the help Charlie, you're a lifesaver and a good friend."

"Stop! You're making me blush." Charlie slapped at him not anywhere near blushing. "Now Sam, tell me the truth, why are you doing this?" she asked suddenly getting serious on him in an instance.

Sam looked down at his hands that were still wrapped around his coffee cup and licked his lips in trepidation. He was hoping she wouldn't be curious enough to question him about that. He didn't know if telling her would change her perspective on things and he really didn't want to lose her.

"C'mon, you've told me this much. It might do you good to talk to someone who's not part of all that crap." she encouraged leaning forward and laying her hand over his. "I'm not going anywhere Sam. You're not going to scare me off, I promise." she encouraged giving Sam a go ahead look.

"All that's going on out there, the destruction, deaths, storms, Lucifer being free, the Four Horsemen...It's all my fault..."Sam said softly not able to look at Charlie.

"It can't be that bad."

"It is Charlie...I messed up big time and in doing so freed Lucifer. So now I need to put him back in the cage before he destroys the world as we know it."

"And you're sure the Horsemen's rings will open up a door to do that?"

"Yes, the tome I read was ancient and written in Old Script. It has to work 'cause that's all I've got to stop Lucifer. He's an archangel and very powerful. I don't know of anything that can kill him."

"But how are you going to get him to go back? I'm thinking he's not going to go willingly now that he's free."

Sam glanced down and bit his lower lip not wanting to give away his plan. He didn't think she would understand why he had to do it.

"No Sam...No...You're going to sacrifice yourself aren't you?" Charlie asked, fear entering her voice. "There's got to be another way."

"There's not, I've searched everything I could find. It's got to be me."

"Well you didn't have me to help you and now you do." Charlie stated getting up to hug Sam for a moment. "Let me go get my laptop and I'll get right to work." she said heading for the door leaving a stunned Sam sitting at the table. It wasn't a few minutes later that soft rapping at the door had him getting up to let Charlie back in. "Good thing you've got good wi-fi here. I can work with this." she said sitting down and pulling a laptop from her computer bag. She set up at the table and turned it on waiting for it to boot up.

"Umm...Thanks..." Sam said a little confused about what just happened. "Charlie are you sure about this? I mean it could get dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Hey! This is the most fun I've had in a while. Well beside the mock Underworld Battle I was in a few months ago. Good times." she sighed lost in thought for a moment. "Besides, you need someone to have your back." she said not realizing she had hit a nerve with that statement.

Sam moved to the counter and tried to busy himself doing nothing as he got his emotions under control. He thought about Dean and Cas and knew they were still looking for him. He felt bad keeping them in the dark but wanted to keep them safe. Sam knew Dean would have a fit since he now knew what he was doing. They had always had each other's back and it seemed wrong to be doing this without him, but he knew he didn't have a choice, his brother's life might depend on it.

"Sam...Your laptop's dinging; I think it's found something." Charlie called to him breaking his train of thought.

"Great..." Sam said dropping back into the chair and tapping some keys to see what the alert was showing.

"What is it?"

"It picked up some strange deaths in a small town southwest of here, about six hours away." Sam said typing quickly and scanning through the articles. "I've got to go check it out."

"Go, I'll stay here and work." Charlie said waving him off. "Just be careful Sam." she said looking up from the screen. "It won't do any good if you get yourself killed before the plan comes together."

"Alright, are you sure you'll be okay here?" he asked not really wanting to leave her alone. He wondered if he should give her a gun but didn't want to alarm her.

"I've got it covered." she said pulling a hand gun from her bag and showing it to Sam.

"Whoa! Do you know how to use that?"

"Of course." she said with confidence as she checked the gun to be sure it had a bullet in the chamber. "How do you think we won our battle? Looks is not everything, you gotta know how to defeat the enemy."

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Charlie don't take any chances; get out if things get weird. There's food in the fridge." Sam told her as he grabbed his bag and stuffed a few clothes into it. He hurried to the bathroom for his things and snagged his weapon's bag before heading out. "I have the room for another three days."

"Don't worry, I can extend it for you or I can come to you."

"I'll let you know, just stay safe." Sam insisted before closing the door and heading for his SUV. He didn't like bringing an innocent into his fight. He just hoped he could keep her safe in all this.

 **spn**

Two shiny, black SUVs rolled up to the diner and stopped at the door, ignoring parking spaces all together. Four hefty men got out and looked around before going to the back door and opening it. Another got a wheelchair out of the back and set it up so a feeble man could be sat into it. They pushed him toward the front door and into the diner. The customers inside didn't pay attention to the wheelchair bound man as his bodyguards wheeled him to the other side of the room. As he pasted they suddenly stopped what they were doing when Famine's power overtook them. Some started cramming food into their mouths, a couple began to make out in their booth, others started guzzling drinks as they all gave in to their inter most desires.

"So hungry..." Famine insisted as one by one the customers died and he consumed their souls before they could be taken by a reaper. He sighed in contentment and looked to his guards. "I need more...Find me more." he demanded making two of his men hurry out and do his bidding. "Hungry..."

 **spn**

As soon as Sam rolled into the town he could feel it. A Horseman was here there was no doubt about it; he could sense it deep down in his soul. He pulled up to the morgue and parked. Sam pulled on his suit coat and straightened his tie before heading inside to see the dead bodies. He past a man dressed in a dark suit like an undertaker, carrying a briefcase and frowned when something didn't seem right about him. He quickly turned and followed him into an alley before attacking.

"I know what you are, I can smell you." Sam growled as he held the demon knife to the man's throat.

"I don't know what you're talking about." the man whined trying to pull from his grasp. The knife nicked his throat and Sam saw the trickle of blood and something in him broke to the surface distracting him. The man took advantage and shoved Sam away but not before he slashed out with the knife catching him on the arm. He knocked Sam down and stumbled away without the suitcase.

Sam lay there for a moment and swiped a finger down the blade to remove the blood and looked at it as a desire started to build inside him. His finger trembled as he fought the urge to lick the blood off. He closed his eyes and drew in some deep breaths pushing the urge down as he got to his feet. He found an old rag laying nearby and quickly wiped the blood off before doing something he'd regret. He picked up the suitcase and looked at it before sitting it on a barrel and fiddling with the locks to open it. Sam shielded his eyes as a brilliant light poured from the case and drew in a sharp breath as a surge that seemed like an electric shot ran through him almost taking his breath away. The ball of energy suddenly moved toward the sky to suddenly disappear. He blinked hard trying to clear the white dots in front of his eyes wondering what that was. He wasn't sure what just happened and stood there for a moment composing himself. He headed back toward the morgue knowing he couldn't catch the man that he knew now was a demon. Famine was close; he could feel his affects even from here and fought them. He went inside and examined the bodies finding that each one died from their secret cravings or desires. Knowing he wouldn't find anything else here, he left contemplating his next move.

 **spn**

"How ya doing son?" Bobby asked as Dean shuffled into the kitchen looking like death warmed over. He knew Dean hadn't been sleeping much and when he did it wasn't restful. He had walked in on him dozing on the couch only to have him spring from it gasping for air and looking ready to defend himself.

"I'll get back to you on that." Dean mumbled as he poured a cup of coffee. He grimaced with the bitter taste and leaned against the counter to drink it anyway. It seemed he had been living off of caffeine and whiskey the past few weeks and neither was doing him any good.

"How 'bout some breakfast to go with that?" Bobby asked hoping to get him to eat something. He knew Dean wasn't taking care of himself and tried to do it for him. "I'm not taking no for an answer this time."

"Not really hungry." he replied in a dull voice. He was trying his best to not lose hope in finding his brother before he did something stupid.

"You need to eat son, you're not doin' Sam any good if ya don't take care of yourself."

Before Dean could reply a cell phone started ringing in the living room. Dean moved that way to find his jacket and dig his cell out.

"H'llo." Dean growled into the phone.

"Hey dude, I found something." Ash said happily.

"What?" Dean asked quickly as his body tensed and he became alert.

"I think I found a Horseman."

"Where?"

Ash relayed the information that he had found and wished Dean luck before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Bobby asked when Dean hung up.

"Ash, he's found a Horseman and I'm going to check it out." Dean said acting like a completely different person now that he had a lead.

"You take Cas with you for backup." Bobby called after him as Dean disappeared up the stairs. "Damn fool idjit...Gonna get himself killed..." he mumbled to no one knowing Dean could get reckless and dangerous when it came to his brother. "Don't listen to the old man who might know a thing or two..." he muttered getting up to get another cup of coffee.

It wasn't long before Dean was stomping down the stairs with bags in hand. He stopped in the living room and looked up at the ceiling before speaking. "Hey Cas, got your ears on? I got a lead an' could use some backup." He glanced around and jumped when Cas spoke from behind him.

"I'm here Dean and will be your backup." he stated.

"Damn Cas, we've talked about this, personal space." Dean growled.

"Sorry." he said stepping back slightly.

"We're leaving Bobby." Dean called to him.

"Where do you want to go?" Cas asked knowing he was going to be taking them there.

* * *

 **A/N: Another horseman is found. Will Dean and Cas get there in time to catch Sam? Thank you to all who are taking this journey with me. I do like reviews. NC**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Sam watched the man in the suit get into a black SUV with another suitcase. He knew he was a demon and was sure he would lead him to a Horseman, Famine. He cranked his vehicle and pulled out behind him to follow. He was led to the outskirts of the town. The lights of the diner came into view and Sam pulled over to the side of the road to park as the SUV pulled behind another one and the man got out to head inside the building. Sam got out and made his way through the shadows skirting around the parking lot. He froze when he heard crackling branches to his left and stepped into the shadows of a tree and waited.

The guard didn't know what hit him when Sam stepped behind him drove the knife into his back. He crumbled to the ground and the smell and sight of the blood overwhelmed him. Sneaking around in the shadows of his mind was the little evil wanting desire that would never leave him, but he fought it and ignored it and pushed deeper into his subconscious until now. He dipped is fingers into the deep red flow of blood and brought it to his lips hungrily licking them. Sam did it again and could already feel the surge of power racing through his body. He cut the man's neck and bent down to drink the demon blood until the guard breathed his last breath. He swiped the back of his hand across his mouth to wipe the blood that dripped from his mouth. Feeling the extreme rush and confidence the blood gave him, Sam squared his shoulders and headed for the diner to confront the Horseman.

"Come on in Sam Winchester." Famine said in a raspy, hoarse voice. "I see you helped yourself."

"How do you know me?" Sam asked.

"Oh Lucifer told me all about you. He said you were going to make a very comfortable vessel for him. Do you need a little more juice? Take your choice." he said waving a hand to the three guards in the room who shuffled around uneasily. "I know you want it, you crave it, lust for it..."

"No!" Sam growled madly as he raised his hand and pulled the demons from their meat suits. Their black souls swirled around the floor as the bodies dropped silently to the floor.

"Well we can't waste this now can we." Famine said drawing in a long breath and pulling the demon souls into his body. "So good...Why don't you join me, fight by my side...Be who you truly are, release the darkness inside of you."

"Never!" Sam spat at him as he gripped the demon blade tightly in his hand and raised his other concentrating on Famine.

"I'm a Horseman Sam, your powers won't work on me." he laughed once before coughing hard.

"You're right, but it will work on them." Sam hissed as he instead concentrated on the demon souls inside of Famine destroying them all and weakening him so bad he could barely move. With that done, Sam quickly moved to his side and took his ring before running out the back door and disappearing into the night. He felt the shame and guilt weighting heavily on him and could see Dean's face and here the words of disappointment again, ' _You were the one I depended on the most to have my back...And now I don't know if I can trust you anymore...What we had...I don't know if we'll ever be able to get that back'._ They came back with a fury and Sam stumbled as tears blurred his vision. He had let Dean down again and broke the promise he had made to himself to never succumb to the darkness again, but he had failed. The only good thing out of this was he had another ring and was one step closer to his goal. The darkness of the night engulfed him as he drove away from his brother.

 **spn**

Dean and Cas appeared outside the diner and looked around before moving toward the place. They found the body of the guard at the edge of the woods and continued on toward the front door. Dean threw the door open and stepped into the room with gun drawn but not seeing anyone moving in the place. He cautiously advanced on into the room looking at the dead bodies littering the place. He saw the wheelchair sitting in the middle of the room and the guards laying around it.

"What the hell happened here Cas?" Dean asked as he finally lowered his gun.

"Famine was here, but I think Sam beat us to him." Cas said feeling the power of the Horseman still lingering in the air but also catching a trace of his grace too.

"Sonovabitch!" Dean cussed knowing that they couldn't of missed him by much. He checked the bodies and rigor hadn't even started yet. "I was so close..." Dean whispered slamming a fist onto the counter trying to vent his rage.

"I will look around Dean, maybe I can pick up his trail." Cas said disappearing from the room and leaving Dean alone with the dead. Not wanting to stay there any longer, Dean headed outside and checked the SUV's finding keys in one and started it up to head into town. He knew Cas could find him and hoped maybe he might run across his brother. He was scared for him, knowing Sam was in over his head and could very well get himself killed even with the powers he possessed. He was afraid he would become obsessed with his mission that he would let his guard down and not walk away from the encounter.

 **spn**

Sam made his way back to his SUV and climbed in clenching the ring tightly in his hand before stuffing it into his pocket. He knew what he did and never wanted his brother to see him like this again. He had sensed him as he fled into the woods away from the diner. He groaned in pain as the powers fought each other inside of him. He cranked the vehicle and pulled out driving away from the area but didn't know how far he would make it. The pain began to increase and he had to pull over at a gas station fifteen miles away and stop. He leaned over the steering wheel and knew there was only one thing he could do.

"Cas, I know you're near..." Sam prayed. "I need your help please come alone."

"Sam, are you alright?" Cas asked as he opened the door and caught him when he nearly fell from the vehicle.

"I need...Cas..." Sam cried out as he doubled over.

"I'll take you to Dean, he..." Cas started.

"No Cas...No...Need grace..." he finally got out through clenched teeth. "Please..." he begged looking up at him with pain filled eyes. "Can't...Can't let h'm...see me...li' this..." he slurred out as his head rolled to the side and he trembled and jerked in Cas' arms.

Cas held him up and struggled with what to do. He had told Dean he wouldn't keep anything from him, but Sam needed his help. He could feel the struggle going on in his body and it was killing him. He got him back onto the seat before speaking.

"Stay here, I will return." he told Sam before closing the door and disappearing.

 **spn**

Sam leaned back against the seat and panted hard as sweat poured from his face and he shivered uncontrollably. He closed his eyes as his stomach clenched and he couldn't stop the tears that leaked from them. He wrapped his arms around his body trying to hold it together until Cas returned, hopefully alone. He couldn't face Dean after what he did, even though he couldn't stop himself from doing it. Famine's powers were too strong for him to resist the need to feed and now he was paying the price. Withdrawals were happening quicker than before and something else that he didn't understand was happening.

"Sam, I am back." Cas said opening the door. "You need to move over so I can drive."

"Cas..." Sam rasped out as he tried to move his body to the other seat. With a little help from him, Sam flopped into the passenger seat and almost passed out as Cas started the vehicle and drove out of the parking lot toward a motel where Dean was waiting.

"Hang on Sam, I'm going to help you." he told him as Sam's head fell forward and he lost his battle with consciousness. He felt like he was betraying Sam by taking him to Dean, but couldn't see a way around it. He had promised Dean to be truthful to him about Sam and knew Sam needed help and he needed his brother. He couldn't do this alone. Cas drove to the motel and pulled around the back to stop in front of a room. He had just got out of the vehicle when Dean came out of the room and stopped by the passenger door to look in at his unconscious brother.

"What's wrong with him Cas?" Dean asked carefully opening the door to catch the limp body of his brother.

"Famine. Sam wasn't immune to him no matter how hard he fought it." Cas said helping Dean get Sam into the room and onto a bed. "The craving was too strong."

"No..." Dean whispered as he got a better look at his brother and could see the smears of blood around his mouth and down his chin. "Oh Sammy no...He's going through withdrawals isn't he?"

"Yes, he needs my grace to fight it. You need to take my grace and give it to Sam." Cas said pulling two syringes and alcohol wipes from his trench coat pocket and holding them out to him. "Go ahead and fill two so you will have another ready. I think he will need both of them to fight this battle raging inside of him."

"Are you sure Cas? With him like this it's not going to make him worse?"

"I don't know, but he asked me to give him some for a reason. We need to try." Cas said waiting for Dean to take the offerings.

Dean drew in a deep breath and took the wipes and syringes. He waited as Cas loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt to allow access. Dean wiped his neck and took his angel blade to nick his neck so he could carefully insert the needle and withdraw grace into it. He quickly did it a second time, filling both of them. The syringes glowed with the rolling angel grace as he stepped back and watched Cas heal his wound.

 **spn**

Dean turned to Sam who was still unconscious on the bed and went to sit by his side. He tilted his head and wiped the place on his neck to do the injection. Dean held the needle over his neck for a moment before inserting it and injecting the grace into his brother. He wiped the drop of blood and discarded the used syringe before getting up to go to the bathroom to get a wet cloth to clean his brother's face. He didn't know how long it would take for the grace to help or if it would and he was worried for his brother.

"Dean, Sam's cell is vibrating, should I answer it?" Cas called to him.

"I'm coming." Dean said taking the cell and answering it. "Hello."

"Who is this?" a female voice asked.

"Who is this?" Dean asked back.

"Where's Sam?"

"You know my brother?"

"I was in college with him and he asked for my help."

"I'm Dean and Sammy can't come to the phone right now."

"Have him call me. Tell him it's Charlie."

"Can I help you?" Dean asked wondering who she was to his brother.

"I talk only to Sam."

"As soon as he can call I'll have him do it Charlie." Dean told her.

"Not going anywhere dude, later bitches." she said before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Cas questioned.

"I have no idea, but she knows Sam." Dean said stuffing Sam's cell into his pocket. He went to the bed and sat down and began to wipe Sam's sweaty face and clean the blood from it. He was gentle and checked Sam for any other injuries as he got his jacket and shirt off him. He could feel Sam's body trembling under his touch and felt the fever beginning. "Can you go get some ice Cas? The fever's starting." he said placing a hand on Sam's forehead and feeling the heat.

"Of course." Cas said looking around and seeing a plastic bucket on the dresser. He picked it up and went out the door in search of the ice machine.

"Hey Sammy...I'm here bro, you're not alone." Dean mumbled to him as he brushed his hair from his face. "You shouldn't of left like that and tried to do this on your own. It'll be okay. We'll get through this together."

Sam moaned and rolled his head as his body shook uncontrollably for nearly a minute before it settled into mere tremors. Dean grabbed a blanket and covered his body as Cas came back into the room with ice.

"Is this enough ice?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, for now." Dean replied taking the bucket to the bathroom and dumping part of it in the sink before running water so he could soak a washcloth and hand towel in the cold water. After wringing the excess water out, Dean went back to Sam and placed one across his forehead and the other over his chest to get his temperature down.

"Can I do anything else?"

"No Cas, all we can do is wait it out now." Dean said looking at his brother hoping he wouldn't have to lock him down like before. The last time Sam went through withdrawals just about killed him and Dean wasn't looking forward to that again. "Might as well take a seat bro, it may be a while."

"Alright." he said pulling a chair to the bed and sitting down to watch over the brothers. He could see the worry and concern on Dean's face as he held his brother's hand and whispered quietly to him. Cas watched Sam's body fight the withdrawal as he tossed and jerked and arched his back only to have it stop for a few minutes before starting again. Dean never left his side as he held him down. He removed the towels and handed the to Cas without any words and he went into the bathroom to dunk them in the ice water before bringing them back.

"It doesn't seem the same as last time..." Dean mumbled to himself as he remembered the first time Sam had gone through this. He hoped the angel grace would help relieve some of the symptoms and they wouldn't last as long as last time. He wasn't looking forward to the next twenty-four hours when the withdrawals would be the worse.

* * *

 **A/N: So the brothers are back together again. Things aren't going to well for Sam. Can Dean pull him back and will Sam stay? Two rings down, two to go. Can they get the other two and will one of the brothers have to sacrifice themselves to put Lucifer back? I like reviews, please leave one. NC**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

It was hours later that Dean was startled from his doze when Sam screamed and started thrashing on the bed. He threw his body over his brother's upper body and Castiel did the same with his legs to try and stop him from falling off the bed and hurting himself. Dean used the washcloth to cover Sam's mouth and muffle the high pitched wail so no one would call the cops. He made sure he could still breathe as he used his entire weight to keep Sam on the bed. It seemed like forever, but was less than five minutes before Sam began to calm and the screaming stopped.

"We can't stay here Cas." Dean said as he slowly lifted himself off his brother. "You need to go to Bobby's and get the panic room ready. We've got to take him there where I can take care of him easier and not have to worry about the cops being called."

"As you wish." Cas said disappearing, leaving Dean alone with Sam.

"Hang on Sammy, I'm not leaving you." Dean whispered as he wiped his sweat soaked hair from his face and felt his pulse that was racing way too fast under his fingers.

"Ch-Ch-Ch'r-le..." Sam moaned trying to push himself from the bed to be met by Dean's strong hand.

"No you don't, you gotta stay here Sammy. You're in no shape to be going anywhere." Dean told him easily holding him down. "When we get you home, I'll have Cas go get this Charlie person." He didn't know if Sam heard him or not as he struggled and mumbled incoherently until he fell silent. Dean quickly went to the bathroom and wet the cloths again put them on Sam. He checked his watch seeing it wasn't time to administer the other shot of grace that was lying nearby. He tucked a blanket tightly around Sam before grabbing his car keys and going out to the SUV. Dean wanted to get his things from the vehicle and be ready when Cas returned so they could leave. He was sure the SUV was probably stolen and didn't bother with anything but what was Sam's. After getting his bags, he went back to his brother's side and gently picked up his hand holding it tightly as he let his head rest against it.

 **spn**

Bobby was up early since he couldn't sleep and was waiting for Dean to call him or for them to come back. He hated not being there helping but knew if anyone could find Sam it would be Dean. He was pouring a cup of coffee when noises from the basement caught his attention. Bobby retrieved a gun from the cabinet and when to investigate and see who the intruder was. He stopped short when Cas walked out of the panic room.

"Cas, what are you doing here?" Bobby asked craning his neck to see past him into the room. "Something I need to know?"

"We found Sam and will be bringing him back here." Cas said before vanishing.

"Balls! Damn angel..." Bobby muttered not sure what to make of the situation. He waited outside the room wanting to get some answers from the older Winchester. He didn't have to wait long before he heard Dean's voice in the panic room.

"Easy with him..."

"Dean?" Bobby questioned joining them in the panic room and looking down at Sam who was lying on the cot in the middle of the room. "What happened?" he asked eyeing Sam's condition.

"Just a minute Bobby." Dean told him. "Cas can you find this girl Charlie and bring her here? I found this key in his jacket pocket to a motel south of here."

Cas took the offered key and looked at it before going to Sam and laying a hand on his forehead. He closed his eyes for a moment and searched recent memories finding a red headed girl who looked about Sam's age. "I will bring her back here."

"Oh and Cas, you need to drive back. We don't need to freak her out no more than we have to. I don't know how she's involved with Sammy, but he called her name and tried to leave before you came back. I don't know if she might be in danger or not. Just get her here."

"What if she doesn't want to come?"

"Here, take Sam's cell and call me when you find her. I'll convince her to come with you." he said holding out the cell.

"Very well, I will search for her and bring her back here." he said vanishing as quickly as he appeared.

"Bobby can you get some towels so I can wrap Sammy's wrists and legs." Dean told him as he knelt by Sam and loosened the blanket enough to pull his arms free.

Bobby noticed the cuffs already attached to the cot and memories came flooding back of another time that they had to do this and started cussing under his breath when he realized what was going on. He headed upstairs to get the towels and came back to hand them to Dean.

"How'd this happen Dean?"

"Famine...Seems if you're near him whatever you desire or crave intensifies until you can't control yourself and you give in to it." Dean said quietly. "Sammy didn't have a chance, but he did get this." he said holding up the rings. "I found both of them in his pocket." Dean stuffed them back in his own pocket and took the towels carefully wrapping Sam's wrists and legs before cuffing him to the bed. He sat back and ran a hand down his face knowing it wasn't over with yet and the worse was probably coming.

"I'll go get ya a cup of coffee, looks like you could use some." Bobby offered placing a hand on his shoulder before stepping away. He looked back as Sam cried out in pain and watched Dean try to calm him as he whispered softly to him and wipe his face. Bobby shook his head knowing it was as hard on Dean as it was Sam. He had seen what it did to him the first time and figured this would be a repeat.

"It's almost time Sammy, I'll give you the other grace in twenty minutes. Maybe that'll stop the worse of the withdrawals and you can get through this." he said carding a hand through Sam's hair and massaging his neck. "I know this wasn't your fault that you would not have done this if you could have stopped yourself. God Sammy you should've stayed and we'd figured this out together..." he mumbled knowing Sam wasn't hearing him as he jerked and strained against his bindings. "I sent Cas to get this Charlie girl. Don't know who she is to you, but he'll keep her safe."

"Here son." Bobby offered as he stepped back into the panic room with coffee laced with a little extra warmth. He knew Dean could use it right now and hoped he wouldn't go on a bender like last time this happened. "You gonna be alright?"

"I'll handle it. I'm just glad we finally found him before something worse happened." Dean mumbled sipping of the spiked brew. He drew in some slow breaths trying to calm his mind and keep a clear head. No way was he letting Sam do this alone. He was going to stay here no matter how bad it got. "Can you have a hunter go to this motel and pick up my Baby?" he asked holding out letterhead for the motel.

"Yeah, I'll have someone bring it back here." Bobby assured him taking the paper.

 **spn**

Cas appeared at the side of the motel and looked around to be sure he wasn't seen. He looked at the room key and walked around and down the walkway searching for the room. Cas knocked on the door and heard movement inside.

"Who is it?" a female voice called.

"Are you Charlie?" Cas asked hearing the cock of a gun from the other side of the door.

"Who wants to know?" she called back.

"I'm a friend of Sam Winchester. I've come to take you to him."

"How can I be sure of that?"

"One moment." Cas said pulling the cell out and dialing Dean. "Hello I've found her...She doesn't seem to believe me...Alright...I have Dean, Sam's brother on the phone; he wants to talk to you." Cas waited as he heard locks disengaged and the door open a crack. He held the cell out to her, waiting patiently for her to take it.

"Hello." Charlie said and listened to Dean talk.

"Charlie right, look I need you to pack your stuff and go with Cas. He's going to bring you to me and Sam. I know he may seem weird but you can trust him to keep you safe. Do as he says and we'll see you soon. Let me talk to Cas."

"Sure." she said opening the door and allowing Cas to enter. She still wasn't sure of him and kept her gun pointed his way but if he got her to Sam she had to go. "He wants to talk to you."

"Dean..." Cas said.

"Listen only stop if you need gas and be careful. You watch out for her."

"Of course."

"See ya soon." Dean said hanging up.

 **spn**

"I can help." Cas said going to the table that had papers stacked across it and gathering them up. He watched Charlie eyeing him as she packed her clothes and other belongings. "Do you have a car?"

"Umm...Yeah...Why? I'm not leaving my car."

"I wasn't expecting you to. Dean says we should only stop for gas." he replied seeing some of Sam's clothes and picked them up and stuffed them in a bag. He looked around to be sure nothing was forgotten before gathering up bags and waiting for her.

"I'm not sure what's going on here, but just so you know I'm keeping my gun handy." she said picking up her bags and heading outside to a small Honda Civic. She dropped her thing in the back and waited for Cas to do the same before getting in the driver's seat.

Cas followed her out of the room and to a blue car. He put the things he was carrying into the back and went around to the passenger side to get in. Cas cast his senses outward to check for signs of danger but didn't find any.

"So where are we going?"

"Sioux Falls, South Dakota."

"Is Sam alright? I've been waiting for him to call." she commented once she got on the road. When he didn't answer Charlie looked at the concerned look on his face and said, "Something's happened to him hasn't it? I told him it was too dangerous to hunt the Horsemen alone."

"Wait...You know about the Horsemen?" Cas asked in surprise wondering who this girl was.

"Yeah, I haven't seen Sam since college and out of the blue I get an email from him to contact him. I started not to but I was curious. I liked Sam and we hit it off so I decided to see what he wanted."

"Did you date him in college?"

"No." Charlie laughed. "I don't date guys if you get my meaning."

Cas frowned for a moment until he figured out she was gay and liked women. He nodded his head once he understood.

"Sam and Jess were dating then. It's a shame what happened, she was a sweet person. Back to the present. Sam wanted my computer skills. He told me about the devil getting loose and the Four Horsemen crap. I gotta say at first I thought he was a few crayons shy of a full pack, but after listening to him some more and reading some of the stuff he had...Well he convinced me to help him track them down."

"You're not scared?"

"Hell yeah I'm scared shitless, but if I can help save the world...Well guess I'm willing to give it a shot. I was tracking what this Ash guy was doing and it helped me find one of them."

"You need to tell all this to Dean; he's Sam's brother."

"Hey, whatever floats your boat."

"I don't have a boat that I need to float." Cas said confusion in his voice.

Charlie looked at him seeing he was serious and just shrugged. "It's a figure of speech, meaning whatever you say."

"Of course, I still have trouble with human language at times, but I am learning."

"Alright then...Look I'll need to get gas soon since I didn't fill up before I got to the motel. Is that cool?" she asked wondering what his deal was.

"Yes, Dean said that was alright, but I'm to keep you safe."

"Good to know." she said settling down to drive wondering just who this guy was and where the hell did he come from. He didn't look like he could keep himself safe much less her. He didn't give off a vibe of being dangerous, just sort of misplaced. She was going to ask Sam about him when she saw him again. Charlie was glad she was packing and hoped not to have to use it.

 **spn**

Two hours later Charlie pulled into a gas station and to a pump to get gas. She got out and looked back in before closing the door. "You wanna use the restroom or get something to drink?"

"I don't need either." Cas told her remaining in the passenger seat.

"Suit yourself." she shrugged searching for a credit card to pay for the gas. Once she had filled up, Charlie moved the car and went in to use the restroom and grab a drink and snack. Even though Cas said he didn't want anything, she grabbed him a soda and granola bar. "I know you said you didn't want anything, but I picked up this for you." Charlie said dropping back into the driver's seat and holding out the paper bag to him.

"Thank you." Cas said accepting the paper bag and looking inside to see what it contained. Even though he didn't need food or drink to sustain him, but could partake of them. Cas though it was only the polite thing to do and opened the soda to take a sip. The fizz tickled his nose and the sweetness exploded on his taste buds. He could taste every molecule of the sip of soda and tried to decide if it was good or not. He took another sip and pursed his lips making a face with the taste.

"Did I get the wrong kind?" Charlie asked noticing his facial expression.

"No, this is fine." he answered taking another sip to prove it. Cas settled down and started out the window trying to calculate how much farther it was to Sioux Falls.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to all who chose to read my story and are coming alone for the journey. Thank you to the guests who have left reviews that I can't personally answer. I do like reviews, if you have a moment to leave one. NC**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Bobby came back with coffee for Dean and paused at the door as he listened to him talking quietly to his brother. He was about to step into the room when Sam wailed out in anguish and his body arched from the cot almost toppling it over had Dean not braced it with his own body. Bobby rushed in to see Sam thrashing around straining against the cuffs, his voice hoarse, raw and breaking. It broke his heart to see him like this remembering the last time they had gone through this.

"What can I do?" he asked Dean who was trying to hold Sam down until it passed.

"Hold his legs." Dean grunted as he strained against his brother's strength. "It's okay Sammy; it'll pass just hold on."

They restrained Sam until the episode passed and he went limp on the cot panting hard and trembling from the strain on his body. Dean sat back relieved this one was over and wiped the sweat from Sam's face, thinking at least it wasn't as long at the last one. Bobby watched Sam roll his head as he slurred unrecognizable words before crying out softly and pulling at the restraints on his wrist. Dean tried to shush him as he mumbled softly while catching his face and stroking his cheek.

"Hand me the syringe that's in the bag over there Bobby." Dean said seeing it was time to administer the next and hopefully last dose of grace. "It's wrapped in a bandana."

Bobby stepped to the duffels and opened one to see a bandana nestled among the clothes and pulled it out to find the syringe and looked at it for a moment before turning to Dean. "What is this?" he asked.

"Angel grace." Dean replied moving Sam's head so he could access his neck. "Can you hold him still for me?"

"Dean...What are you doing?" Bobby questioned as Dean took the syringe from him and opened an alcohol wipe to clean Sam's neck.

"We're hoping it'll help with the withdrawals. Hold him still."

"Are ya out of yer ever lovin' mind givin' Sam angel grace?" Bobby growled out not sure Dean knew what he was doing to his brother.

"I've already given him some before this." Dean explained. "In the hospital to help Sam heal. It was the only way we could help him."

"I hope ya know what yer're doing son." Bobby stated seeing there was no talking him out of it. He positioned himself at the head of the bed and pressed down on Sam's shoulders to hold him still. After Dean wiped the spot, Bobby watched him pull the skin back between two fingers and carefully pushed the needle into his neck, slowly pushing the plunger down injecting the grace. He held the wipe to the spot for a moment before tossing both in the trash.

"All we can do is wait." Dean said adjusting the blanket over Sam's body. He moved the chair closer and against the cot to be closer to Sam and so he could hold his hand.

"Here's your coffee son, it's cooled now." Bobby offered handing the cup to him.

"Thanks Bobby." he said so softly he could barely be heard. Dean sipped the semi-warm liquid and grimaced at the bitter taste as it hit his acid filled stomach churning painfully.

"I can stay with him if you wanna try and get some sleep." Bobby offered but knew the answer before asking.

"No, I'm good. I need to be here if he wakes up. He needs to know I'm here and haven't left him..."

"I'll bring ya some waters and some toast. Ya gotta try and eat something." Bobby told him looking one more time down at Sam before leaving. He headed upstairs to make some toast and hoped to convince Dean to eat some of it.

 **spn**

"I can drive if you like." Cas offered partway through the trip.

"I'm good, but thanks for offering." Charlie told him. She wasn't sure she trusted him enough to let him drive her car. Sure it wasn't a brand new car or even a few years old, but it was hers and it was paid for. One thing about this guy was he wasn't talkative and that was fine with her. "I love this song..." she hummed as she began to sing softly with the music.

Cas glanced over at Charlie, watching her nod her head in time with the music. She seemed an unusual person that was bright, forthcoming, happy and had a shining soul. He could tell she was a good person. He remained quiet as he listened to her soft voice singing like an angel. Cas estimated they were about three hours from Bobby's and would need to make one more gas stop before getting there.

A cell began to ring and Cas fumbled to get it out of his coat pocket and answer it. "Hello."

"Just checking on you two..." Dean sighed quietly as he watched Sam shiver and twitch.

"We are fine and almost there. I think probably less than two hours out. How's Sam?" Cas asked looking to Charlie when he said it.

"The same. Had another bad episode, but he's kind of resting now."

"Is there anything we need to pick up on our way in?"

"I don't know, maybe after you get here you can check with Bobby and see."

"Alright."

"Stay safe and keep Charlie safe."

"I will Dean." he said hanging up.

"How's Sam?' Charlie asked after Cas hung up.

"No change."

"Look I can be useful besides computer crap. I can run to the store or kind of cook or help with Sam."

"Dean said to ask Bobby when we get there. It'll be late; maybe tomorrow we can run to the store for them." Cas replied impressed she was taking all this in stride without freaking out.

 **spn**

After sitting for too long, Dean was up pacing around the room to stretch his body and burn off some of the nervous energy running through it. He stopped and looked to his brother when a choking sound made him rush to his brother's side.

"Sammy, hey...Hey hold on..." Dean cried out grabbing the key and unlocking the cuffs on his wrist. He jerked Sam to his side as Sam coughed up dark, watery liquid into a bucket he had waiting. "I got ya Sammy, get it out..." he mumbled rubbing his back and holding his hair back out of the way.

Piercing pain ravaged Sam's body as he fought to pull himself from the darkness that had claimed him. He tried to make his eyes open but couldn't seem to make them respond. When he tried to move his arms, he could only move them a little. Hot, bitter tasting bile rose up in his throat choking him and tried to get turned to throw up. Hands ran over his body and he jerked and tried to pull away not knowing who it was or where he was. Sam felt his body being turned and expelled the liquid clogging his throat as his body shook on its own. Once his airway was clear, Sam wheezed hard trying to get air back into his lungs. He could feel something wiping his face and around his mouth. Distant words had him struggling to part the darkness and mist and find his way back. Sam's eyes opened to slits as he tried to clear his vision enough to see. He could still hear someone talking to him but couldn't make out what was being said.

"Sammy, Sammy can you hear me?" Dean asked when he saw him partly open his eyes. He got down in his line of sight and tried again. "Sammy, you're safe."

Sam knew that voice and what had happened was coming back to him in pieces but he knew it wasn't right. He couldn't let Dean see him like this. He couldn't go through another round of seeing the disappointment, hurt, and misery on his face.

"No...No...No..." Sam cried out weakly as he struggled against Dean trying to get away.

"It's me Sammy. It's okay..." Dean tried to assure him as he captured his arms and held them down making Sam struggle relentlessly in his grasp until he collapsed back onto the cot panting hard as he lost his battle with consciousness once again. "Sammy?" Dean questioned as Sam's body went limp in his arms and his head lolled to the side. Strings of drool ran from his mouth as he drew in a raspy, hoarse breath.

"Everything alright in here?" Bobby asked stepping in from the basement.

"He came to for a moment, but I don't know...He tried to fight me and get away." Dean told him as he wiped Sam's mouth and straightened his body to a more comfortable position.

"Did ya ever think maybe he doesn't want ya to see him like this? Maybe he's ashamed of what happened." Bobby said in a calm, caring voice.

"Sonova..." Dean muttered letting Bobby's words sink in as he mulled them over. "I can't leave him...I won't let him go through this alone Bobby." he said dropping into the chair by the bed and grasping Sam's hand.

"I know son." he told him knowing how torn Dean was. "Guess I better get back upstairs and wait on Cas and the lass."

"They should be here shortly. Don't let Charlie come down here. She doesn't need to seem Sam like this."

"I'll send her to bed since it's late anyway." he assured Dean. "She's probably going to be tired after the drive."

"Yeah, I'm sure she didn't let Cas drive any." Dean chuckled wondering how the two were getting alone. He looked to Sam when he coughed hard once but didn't come to. "It's okay S'my..." he mumbled cupping his cheek and running his thumb over it. "I know what happened and I understand...I'm not mad or upset about that, I just wish you'd let me help."

 **spn**

The sun had made its way across the sky and had sunk behind the horizon bringing darkness to the land as Charlie turned onto the road where the salvage yard was located.

"It's up ahead on the right." Cas instructed Charlie as she slowed straining to see from the headlight glare.

"I see it." she said seeing outside lights illuminating a sign for Singer Salvage Yard. Charlie stared around with interest as she signaled to turn into the driveway and maneuvered through the gate. The driveway stopped in front of a two story, weather beaten, older house and Charlie pulled over to park beside the Impala.

"I'll help you get the things from the back." Cas said getting out and opening the back door.

Charlie got out slowly and surveyed the area, taking in the buildings, wrecked cars and stacks of smashed vehicles that lined one side of the fenced in yard. She quickly opened the back and grabbed her things so she could follow Cas up the steps and to the front door.

"Bobby may seem grouchy and mad, but he's really a nice person." Cas told her as he knocked on the door.

It was only a few moments before the door was opened and Bobby eyed the two standing in the porch light.

"Well don't just stand there, get in here." he growled stepping back so they could enter.

"Hello Bobby." Cas said in passing. "This is Charlie."

"Hi sir." Charlie said following Cas inside.

"Hello Lass, how was your trip?" Bobby asked her as he closed the door.

"Tiring, but no problems." Charlie said glancing around the inside and seeing stacks of books in the other room.

"I've got the spare room ready for you. It's upstairs on the left; the bathroom's right below it."

"Can I see Sam?" Charlie asked wondering where he was as she looked around the room.

"It's late and you've got to be tired after the drive, why don't you go on to bed and wait until tomorrow. Sam doesn't need to be disturbed right now." Bobby said trying to be vague.

"She knows about the Horsemen and Lucifer Bobby." Cas commented thinking he should know.

"Is that so? Just what did Sam have you doing?" Bobby inquired looking at Charlie closely as she fidgeted under his steady gaze.

"Research." she squeaked out with a shrug. "I think I'll head on up, see you in the morning." she continued wanting to get away from Bobby's strong gaze. She felt he could see right into her soul and would know everything she was thinking. Charlie didn't sense any danger in this house, but to be on the safe side, she was going to sleep with her gun under her pillow. Her worries turned to Sam and wondered what was going on with him. She had a feeling it was more than just being injured. Charlie flipped on the overhead light and gave the room a quick once over, deciding it was better than she expected. She deposited her bag on a chair nearby and wandered down the hall looking for the bathroom. She glanced into the other room across from the bathroom and saw twin beds and a scattering of clothes thinking this must be Sam and his brother's room. Knowing she couldn't do anything else tonight, she headed into the bathroom and then would go on to bed.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you enjoy Charlie. Reviews are welcome. NC**


	31. Chapter 31

**Special Note: For anyone interested, there will be an auction of stories and art relating to SPN next month. You can check out the website at juliahouston dot com (forward slash) fic-facers. We're trying to raise money for Random Acts of Kindness.**

* * *

 **Chapter 31**

Dean didn't look up when he heard the footsteps of someone coming down the stairs and heading toward the panic room. He was humming softly to his brother trying to keep him calm as he twitched and trembled in his unconscious state. He continued to rub his arm and grip his hand wanting to have that physical contact with him in hope Sam would know he wasn't alone in this struggle.

"How is he?" Cas asked looking from Sam to Dean seeing how weary he looked.

"He's had a couple of episodes and came around for a few minutes one time." Dean said quietly. "He started fighting me...I don't know if he thought I was someone else or what..."

"Sam didn't want me to tell you what was happening to him."

"Why? Didn't he know I could help?"

"I could feel his shame and guilt. I don't think he wanted you to see him like this again." Cas explained.

"Not after the first time and the toil it took on you. He didn't want to disappoint you again..."

"You did the right thing bringing him to me." Dean sighed as the weight of everything bore down on him. He felt so burdened that he didn't know if he could dig himself out. "I would never want him to do this alone and I hope I can convince him not to leave again. I know what he's trying to do is crazy, but I'd rather be crazy with him than without him."

"Why don't you take a break and get some rest? I will stay with him." Cas offered.

"I should be here in case he wakes up."

"Maybe it would be better if you weren't here..." Cas suggested thinking Sam might not fight if he was the only one there. "I can call you if anything happens Dean. You need to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of Sam."

Dean looked at his brother and mulled over what Cas had said and knew he was right. He was barely holding it together right now and the weariness and stress was taking its toil on his body.

"I guess you're right, I could use a little sleep, but you come get me if anything happens." he insisted getting up from his chair and stretching before shuffling to the door like an old man.

"Of course Dean." Cas said taking his place in the chair by the cot. He leaned slightly toward Sam and placed a hand on his forehead and tried to determine how he was doing. He couldn't tell much but it seemed the extra grace was helping. "I'm sorry Sam, but I had to tell Dean...This was something you shouldn't keep from him. I know you got two of the Horsemen's rings but you have to let us help you...I know what you planned on doing...You can't sacrifice yourself without talking it over with Dean. It would break him beyond repair..." Cas spoke quietly to the younger Winchester. He took a damp cloth and wiped the sweat from his face and waited for him to come to. "I can tell you're stronger now...Let's just hope we can find a solution without it costing you your life..."

 **spn**

Several hours later Sam started to stir and forced his pain filled eyes open enough to see someone sitting by him. He blinked several times to clear his vision and finally brought Cas into focus. He tried to wet his dry, cracked lips and was relieved when Cas held a bottle of water to them and lifted his head since he couldn't do it on his own. He swallowed some water and tried to grasp the bottle with both hands wanting to guzzle more but found his hands cuffed to the bed.

"You have to be careful Sam, you might choke." Cas told him pulling the bottle from his lips for a moment to be sure he understood. "Small sips."

After he nodded his understanding, Cas let him have a few more sips before Sam let his head fall back on the pillow, exhausted by just that simple action. He looked again at Cas and let his eyes wander around finally realizing where he was.

"Cas..." he said hoarsely, a hint of fear in his cracked voice and a caged animal look in his eyes. "Did you tell Dean?"

"I had to Sam; you needed help...You needed your brother. You shouldn't do this alone."

"I didn't want him to know...To see me like this..." Sam whispered as he closed his eyes but couldn't stop the tears that escaped them.

"I know Sam, but it would hurt him more if he didn't know and not be allowed to help you. Dean never stopped looking for you after you left. He didn't eat, sleep and drank way too much. He was very upset you went off on your own." Cas told him studying Sam closely seeing the mixed emotions on his face. He watched Sam close his eyes as he tried to fight off the shakes that raced up his body.

"Where is he?" he asked glancing around in fear he was standing in a corner watching him. He didn't want to see that look of disappointment on his face again.

"I convinced him to go lie down. He's not left your side since I took you to him in a motel near where I found you. Sam, he figured out you're tracking down the Horsemen for their rings."

"Where are they?" Sam asked quickly trying to feel in his pockets but couldn't because of the cuffs.

"I think Dean has them."

"Crap..." he muttered moving his legs only to find them cuffed to the bed.

"I didn't tell him what I figured out Sam. I know what you are planning." he said giving Sam a worried look.

"You can't tell him Cas, please. He's got enough on his plate right now." Sam begged.

"For now, but you need to talk to him. Let us help Sam..."

"Think you can take these off, I need to use the bathroom." he said trying to push himself up on the cot and swallowed hard when the room began to spin with his movements. He could feel his body tremble with the exertion and worked hard on not retching. "I'll think 'bout what you said." he mumbled waiting for Cas to remove the cuffs.

"Just a moment..." Cas said touching the cuffs on his wrists and ankles to unlock them so Sam could sit up. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't think this time was as bad as last time. How long have I been out of it?" he asked feeling shivers run up and down his spine.

"A little over three days now."

"Oh god Charlie...I need to..." Sam started trying to get up but fell back onto the cot as the room tilted.

"It's fine, I went and got her. She's upstairs asleep." he assured him.

"She's here good." Sam sighed knowing Charlie was safe.

"Let me help." Cas said taking Sam's arm and helping him stand. He transported then upstairs knowing Dean was sleeping on the couch in the living room. "Can you manage Sam?"

"Yeah, give me a few minutes." he said using the wall for support as he shuffled into the bathroom and closed the door. Sam leaned against it and couldn't stop the shaking that racked his body, making him unsteady. After a couple of slow breaths, he moved to the commode and used it and then washed his hands and splashed water on his face to clean the dried sweat from it. He cupped his hand to sip the cold water feeling dehydrated and needing to replenish his body. He felt his stomach clench painfully and quickly fell in front of the commode to cough up liquid and foul tasting bile. He spit and gagged before grabbing toilet paper to wipe his mouth. He flushed to commode and sat back against the tub feeling a hot flash run up his body making him break out in a cold sweat. He let his head rest on his hand for a moment before finding the strength to get up and move to the door to find Cas waiting on him.

"You should lie down Sam." Cast decided when he saw how shaky and pale he looked. He helped him to the bedroom and to his bed. He turned down the covers and let Sam lie down before covering him. "Rest now, I'll stay with you." he said letting his hand rest on his forehead for a moment sending Sam into a light sleep. He pulled a chair over and sat down watching the youngest Winchester sleep. Even in induced sleep, Sam still trembled and shivered. He moved to add another blanket to his sleeping form and checked for fever but didn't sense one. It seemed his grace was keeping his withdrawals less violent and shortening the amount of time than before.

 **spn**

Dean woke with a snort and looked around seeing he was on the couch. He honestly didn't even remember coming up here because he was so exhausted and out of it. He glanced at the time and saw he had slept for nearly three hours and pushed himself up to go check on Sam. After grabbing a cup of coffee, Dean headed down the steps and stepped into the panic room to find it empty of both Cas and his brother. A dull ache in his chest made his heart beat erratically as he worked hard on pulling air into his lungs thinking the worse. A piece of his heart cracked off leaving him feeling light headed and shaky.

"No, no, not again..." he muttered looking around as fear filled his mind believing Sam had left again. He ran for the stairs and raced up them not sure what to do. The deep, intense sense of loss raced through his mind and he didn't know if he could take it again. His soul cried out in heartache and emptiness. It wasn't until Cas appeared in front of him that he lost it. "What the hell Cas! Where is he? Where did you take him?" he yelled at the angel ready to attack him if he had to, to find his brother.

Cas didn't say anything but grabbed Dean's arm and transported them to his bedroom. "He needed to use the bathroom." Cas stated softly letting Dean go and stepping back. "I though he would be more comfortable up here in bed since he seemed to be doing better."

Dean took an unsteady step to the bed and looked down at his sleeping brother and let out the pent up anxiety he was holding in, almost collapsing if Cas hadn't reached out to steady him. He reached out a trembling hand and brushed the hair from Sam's face. His face was still tense and his forehead wrinkled even in sleep, but he seemed to be doing better. Sam turned his head in his sleep and mumbled incoherent words before lapsing back into silence. Dean wiped a hand down his face and swallowing back the sob of relief as he willed himself not to shed the tears filling his eyes. Dean bit back any retort he had for Cas and knew he was only looking out for Sam. It was better that he was in bed after all, instead of on the cot in the panic room.

"Thanks Cas..." he finally whispered letting his shoulders slump now that he saw Sam was okay and still there.

"Why don't you lie down Dean? I'll stay here and watch over both of you." Cas told him gently knowing Dean though Sam had left again and that was why he was so upset. "You'll be right here if Sam needs you and it'll do you good to get some more sleep."

Dean only nodded, not trusting his voice and cleared his throat and moved to the other twin bed and stretched out on top of it. He worked on slowing his breathing and turned on his side so he could see his brother's form in the other bed before allowing his eyes to close for a moment but they sprang back open. It was like he was afraid to close them for fear he would disappear again.

"It's okay Dean, I won't let him leave..." Cas said just loud enough for him to hear. He hoped this would ease his tortured soul and allow him to rest and wondered if what he said was true. After last time Cas wasn't sure about Sam, but since he was weak from the withdrawals he was sure he could stop him from leaving without trouble this time.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Sam stay and let Dean and Cas help? Thank you to the guests who have left reviews and to all the others for your support. I do like reviews. NC**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

A new day was dawning and Cas quietly got up to pull the shade down and cast the room into dim shadows hoping it would allow the brothers to sleep longer. He turned and looked toward the door to see Charlie standing just outside the room looking in curiously. He joined her in the hall so not to disturb Dean or Sam.

"Did you get some sleep?" Cas asked softly.

"I did, how's Sam today?" she asked looking in at the sleeping forms hoping to see Sam.

"He is better, but not completely well."

"Maybe I can see him later when he wakes?" Charlie questioned.

"We'll see, it's really up to Dean. Bobby is probably up if you want to go down and see. I'm sure he has coffee ready."

"That does sound good. I don't function very well until I've had my caffeine fix. Is Dean always this over protective of his brother?"

"I'll let Dean know you're up when he wakes." Cas said not really answering her question.

"Thanks." Charlie replied before turning to head down the stairs seeing he wasn't going to answer. She wandered toward the kitchen noticing the unusual things sitting around. Charlie found Bobby in the kitchen filling up a travel cup with coffee.

"Hello Lass, I'm sorry I've got to run. Got a call for a tow job. There's some eggs in the fridge and bread here if you want breakfast and coffee's still hot. I'll make a supply run when I get back to stock up."

"Why don't you let me do that? I'm pretty good at shopping and it'll give me something to do." Charlie offered not wanting to sit around and do nothing. Since she didn't know when she would be seeing Sam, she wanted to make herself useful in some way.

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not, I'm offering." she insisted going to the counter and picking up a cup and reaching for the pot to pour the coffee. "I can contribute that much since I am staying here."

"Will you tell Dean I'll be back later?" he said pulling some money out for her. "If this isn't enough let me know and I'll reimburse you."

"Yes and I have money if needed." she said sipping on her coffee and sighing happily. "I'll be eating too so I can contribute to the pot."

"There's a pad and pen in that drawer there so you can make a list if you like." Bobby said before heading for the front door.

She toasted some bread to have with her coffee and got out the pad and pen to start a list. Charlie checked the fridge and began to write items down thinking about what she could cook. She had learned to become self sufficient over the years and had to learn to cook to feed herself. After checking in the cabinets, Charlie went back upstairs to tell Cas she was leaving so they'd know where she was and to see if he wanted anything from the store.

 **spn**

Sam began to stir slowly and grimaced at the aches and pains he felt as he began to test his mobility. He opened his eyes to see Cas looking at him and let his eyes wander around to see he was in his bedroom. His eyes stopped on the mound in the bed beside him and realized his brother was laying on it. He looked to Cas with concern and a hint of fear.

"So he knows..." Sam whispered hoping not to wake Dean.

"Sam, what happened was not your fault." Cas said softly. "And your brother doesn't blame you."

"Why not? I couldn't stop myself..." he hissed as quietly as he could. "After that first taste...I wanted it...I had to have it...And I wanted more..." he said, his words laced with anguish. "Do you know how hard it was to stop myself from draining every demon in there? I wanted that next rush..." Sam mumbled trailing off as he though about how he felt then.

"Sam, if Famine's influence hadn't affected you, you wouldn't have done that. I'm sure of it." Cas tried to explain.

"Are you sure?" Sam mumbled not sure himself. He looked to his brother seeing movement and wondered if he had heard any of that.

"Sammy, how ya feeling today?" Dean asked sitting up on the edge of the bed and looking to his brother as he wiped sleep from his face and woke himself up.

"Some better." Sam said quietly not able to look at Dean for fear of what he might see in his eyes.

"That's good to hear." he said moving to his bed and placing a hand of Sam's forehead to check for fever. His head felt sweaty, but he didn't really seem hot. Dean left it there for a moment and could still feel a slight tremble in his body. "I'll go see what I can round up for breakfast."

"Charlie has gone on a supply run for Bobby." Cas informed them.

"Good to know."

"No food..." Sam grimaced as his stomach rolled and clenched at the mere thought of eating anything.

"Then you need to at least drink something." Dean insisted. "You stay here; I'll bring it up to you." Dean stopped after one step and turned back to Sam. "Sammy, please stay." he asked carefully. Dean didn't wait for an answer from his brother before leaving the room.

"He does mean it Sam. He wants you to stay." Cas commented watching Sam's reaction to what Dean said.

"I don't have much choice right now." he whispered knowing he wasn't well enough to be out there on his own. Yes, he could have Cas take him somewhere, but he wasn't sure he would do it again.

"You can't put Dean through that again Sam. He was barely holding it together while you were gone."

Sam looked down to his clenched hands feeling bad and not realizing how Dean must have felt with him disappearing. He thought he wouldn't really care one way or another. "How bad?" he finally asked.

"There were quiet a few bottles of Jack Daniels consumed and nights spend next to the commode throwing it back up." Cas said sadly. "I have taken care of his liver so that won't kill him."

"Shit." Sam mumbled feeling ashamed to have put Dean through that. Guilt invaded his thoughts, thinking about how Dean reacted when he left the first time and didn't want him to go through that again. Even though Cas could keep his body healed, he couldn't heal his soul and mind. "I couldn't stay Cas, not after what I found out about myself."

"I may understand, but I don't know if Dean does. You should talk to him when you're better." Cas suggested looking toward the door when Dean appeared in the doorway, pausing for a moment before entering.

"I brought you some Gatorade and toast." Dean said looking between the two as he spoke. "I sent a text to Charlie to pick some ginger ale up for you. Thought it might help settle your stomach." Dean waited for Sam to reposition himself in the bed before sitting a plate in his lap and the Gatorade on the nightstand within his reach.

Sam looked down at the plate with the toast trying to decide if his stomach would tolerate it or not. He reached for the Gatorade with a trembling hand and took a few small sips to wet his dry throat. He picked up a half slice of toast and took a small bite, chewing it slowly before trying to swallowing it. Sam grimaced when it felt like it only went halfway down and got stuck. He sipped the Gatorade and worked on getting it down, coughing a couple of times.

"You okay Sammy?" Dean asked when he saw him rub his throat and swallow hard.

"I'm fine..." he wheezed out finally getting the bite down.

Cas cocked his head and listened to something only he could hear before getting up. "I believe Charlie is back. I'll go help her with the groceries." Cas excused himself thinking the brothers needed some time alone to hopefully talk things out.

 **spn**

Dean took Cas' place in the chair and mulled over how to talk to his brother. He let his hand fall to his pocket and felt the impression of the two rings in it. The silence grew awkward between them as neither brother spoke.

"Why did you leave Sammy?" Dean asked softly, hoping to get Sam to talk to him. He had mulled that question over in his mind since Sam disappeared and still hadn't come up with a reasonable answer. He wanted Sam to tell him, to make him understand why he ran like he did and hid from him.

Sam looked down at his jerking fingers as he worried the blanket covering his body. He wasn't sure what to say and knew there was no use lying about it. He knew Dean would see right through it in a second. "I knew you wouldn't let me do what I needed to do." he finally replied glancing at Dean sideways when he wasn't looking.

"You mean chasing after the Horsemen by yourself?" Dean asked his voice rising slightly as the anger started to come out. He wanted to just shake some sense into this brother for doing such a foolish thing but knew he needed to control his anger or he would make Sam shut down.

"I knew you wouldn't understand." Sam shot back looking at him for the first time and letting his gaze drop as tears filled his eyes. He could still see Dean's dead body and Lucifer standing over it and couldn't stop the pent up emotions building inside of him.

"Please Sammy, help me to understand..." Dean begged leaning closer to Sam where he could lay a hand on his arm. "I want to...Honest I do."

Sam looked down at the hand on his arm and swallowed hard with uncertainty. He could feel the warmth of the hand on his cold arm and shivered slightly. He didn't know if he could explain it to Dean or not, at least in a way he would accept.

"You're cold Sammy." Dean commented getting up to adjust the blanket over him and tucking it in after removing the plate from his lap. "You want something hot to drink?"

"No..." he whispered shrinking down under the blanket. He jerked when Dean began to rub up and down the blanket trying to warm him. He pulled another blanket over him before dropping back down in the chair beside the bed. He waited for Dean to say something, but he just sat in the chair staring down at the floor. "I don't know if I can explain it, but I caused all this Dean...It's my job to clean it up."

"It may be your job, but Sammy you can't do it alone; not this time. You gotta let me help and maybe together we can stop the devil."

"Even if it means sac..." Sam started but couldn't finish his sentence because he didn't want to upset Dean any more than he had already and he didn't know if he could say it out loud because that made it all the more real. "Can we talk about this later?" he mumbled feeling exhausted and just wanted to rest.

"Yeah Sammy, we'll continue this when you're feeling better." Dean agreed getting up. "I'll send Cas back up to sit with you." He wanted to continue but could see the mixed emotions on Sam's face and knew he needed to rest.

Sam didn't bother complaining that he didn't need a sitter, but his mind was already shutting down and his eyes were closing on their own. Dean saw he was already drifting off and wondered what was so bad that Sam couldn't or wouldn't tell him. He pulled his cell from his jeans pocket when it chimed he had a text. Dean pulled up his messages and saw it was from Bobby. He had gotten tied up on this tow job and wouldn't be back until evening. He was going to grab dinner out so not to wait on him to go ahead and eat. He sent a quick text back to let him know he got it and headed down to find Cas. He was going to make sure Cas understood that he wasn't to take Sam anywhere no matter how hard he begged.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Sam and Dean work it out and Cas is stuck in the middle trying to keep the peace and help both brothers. Thank you to the guest who left reviews, they were appreciated. Please review. NC**


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Cas and Charlie both looked up when Dean walked into the kitchen looking weary and beaten. Charlie moved to the coffee pot and poured a cup of coffee thinking he really looked like he needed it.

"Cas will you go stay with Sammy?" Dean asked in a tired voice. He gladly accepted the cup of coffee Charlie was holding out to him and took a tentative sip. "And Cas, no zapping Sam anywhere. I don't care how much he begs you. Is that understood?" Dean told him his eyes dark and threatening if he wasn't obeyed. "Sammy's back and he's going to stay."

"Yes, of course. I understand" Cas said heading the way Dean came from knowing he could not let Dean down again. He had to be sure Sam stayed for Dean's sake.

"Sit and I'll fix you some breakfast." Charlie offered.

"Not really hungry, but thanks." Dean told her pretty sure his stomach wasn't going to tolerate food right now. "Charlie how do you know my brother and what were you doing for him?"

"Well..." Charlie said sitting down across from Dean at the table. "I went to college with Sam while he was at Stanford and got to know him and Jess. We became good friends until Jess died and Sam disappeared. He got in touch with me and asked me to do some computer work for him. He's looking for some guys."

"You mean tracking down the Horsemen?"

"Yeah, that really threw me for a moment when he told me about all that crap, but hey...I went with the flow and started helping. Sam had already hacked your laptop and cell, Bobby's cell and some guy named Ash's laptop, but I..."

"Wait, hold on Sammy hacked me?" Dean asked in surprise now realizing how Sam knew so much. Sometimes his brother was too smart for his own good and huffed to himself.

"Ummm...Yeah...He was always good with computers, but he knew I was much better and I agreed to help him. I've been tracking signs for demons and trying to locate the Horsemen."

"And, what have you found?"

"I really should be telling Sam about anything I've found." Charlie said cautiously. "When can I see him?"

"Maybe this afternoon if he's feeling up to it." Dean said eyeing Charlie with a frown. "You can tell me if you found anything I am Sam's brother you know."

"No, I can't. It's up to Sam whether he tells you or not." she stated getting up from the table ending the conversation.

He was surprised at what a spitfire she was and thought she could hold her own with anyone. Charlie moved around the kitchen prepping food for dinner tonight. She had decided to take over preparing the meal and ignored Dean who sat there watching her. It was interesting at how protective she seemed to be of his brother and he wondered if there was something going on between them.

 **spn**

The room was quiet, but Sam knew someone came into it and sat down when he heard a slight squeak of the chair. He opened his bleary eyes into slits and saw the blurry image of someone sitting there. He knew it was Cas even though he couldn't make him out clearly.

"Is there anything you need Sam?" Cas asked quietly when he sensed Sam was awake.

"No, I'm fine." Sam mumbled as he tried to wake up his mind.

"Did you talk to Dean?"

"Not really..." Sam sighed tiredly. "I'm not sure what to say..."

"You should tell him what's going on with you. Tell him why you left and what you are doing."

"How can I do that when I don't know myself. I don't know what to say to make him understand..." he said before his voice broke.

"If you speak from your heart Sam, I think he'll understand."

"I don't know..." Sam mumbled shaking his head with uncertainty. "Cas did you give me grace?"

"Yes, Dean administered it to you."

"Good..."

"It's changing you, but you know that don't you?"

"I can feel something going on, but I don't know what." Sam admitted. "If I need more would you give it to me?"

"Why would you need more? You seem to be much better."

"I think it's giving me the edge I need to defeat Lucifer." San confessed.

"If you need it, I will help you, but shouldn't you tell Dean about this?"

"No, I can't. He's got enough to deal with without worrying about me."

"Sam, he's not going to stop worrying about you, he's your brother. Not telling him will worry him more."

"Please Cas, keep this between us for now." Sam begged.

"I will do as you wish." Cas agreed when he saw how upset Sam was getting. He was glad Sam wasn't asking him to take them away from here and from his brother again.

Sam leaned back with relief and closed his eyes again for a moment hoping Cas would be true to his word. He brushed his hair from his face and realized how greasy it felt and sniffed his shirt wrinkling his nose in disgust. "I really need a shower, can you give me a little help?"

"Of course Sam." Cas said getting up to move the chair out of way so he could get up.

"If you'll get some clean clothes out of the dresser over there." Sam said swinging his legs off the side of the bed and sitting there until the dizziness passed. He stood on wobbly legs and got his balance as Cas searched for clothes for him. "Sweat pants are okay, third drawer down and tee shirts are in the second one." he told him after he pulled briefs and socks from the first one.

"Alright, I'll find them." Cas said looking where he suggested. "Careful Sam..." he said moving to his side as he wavered when he let go of the bed. He grabbed Sam's arm and steadied him just as Dean walked into the room.

"What's going on?" Dean asked eyeing both of them suspiciously.

"Sam wanted to take a shower." Cas said innocently.

"Hell he can hardly stand, you sure of this Sammy?"

"Yeah, I stink and feel grungy." Sam said clearing his throat and standing taller, trying to act okay.

"Well if you insist on this...I got him Cas." Dean said taking Sam's arm to take him to the bathroom.

"Here are his clothes." Cas offered holding out his bundle.

"Thanks, why don't you go keep Red company downstairs?"

"Alright, I will see if I can be of assistance." Cas agreed heading for the stairs.

 **spn**

"Alright Sammy, lean on me and let's get you to the bathroom." Dean grunted putting his arm around his waist for support.

Sam was reluctant at first but knew from Dean's body language there wasn't any arguing about it and gave in. He let Dean take him to the bathroom and watched as he sat the clean clothes down, but didn't offer to leave.

"I-I got this." Sam said slowly.

"Dream on, as shaky as you are, I'm not leaving you in here alone." Dean stated firmly crossing his arms over his chest and daring his brother to object.

Sam frowned and gave his brother a bitch face feeling like a little kid again. He saw Dean wasn't backing down one bit and huffed madly. "At least turn around." he spat at him.

Dean snorted, but turned around to give Sam some privacy so he could strip and get in the shower. Sam grabbed the wall for support and cringed when Dean grabbed his arm. He blushed a deep red since he was naked, but it didn't seem to bother Dean.

"Quit fretting so bro, I use to wipe your ass when you were little. It's not like I haven't seen your bare butt before." Dean told him keeping a strong grip on his arm while he reached in to turn on the water for him. "Step in." he told Sam once the temperature of the water was good.

Sam grunted as he got in the tub and grabbed the support bar while Dean pulled the curtain and let go. Sam let out a huff now that he was behind the curtain. He was embarrassed that this was happening, but it was better Dean than Cas or Bobby he guessed. He let his head fall forward so the water could wet his hair to wash it. He was afraid to lean his head backwards in case he got dizzy and fell. Sam was careful to keep his balance and leaned against the wall as he massaged shampoo into his greasy hair. It felt good to wash away the reminder of what he had gone through and let it run down the drain. He reached for the soap, but dropped it and looked down trying to figure out how to get it without face planting.

"Hold on." Dean said reaching in an arm and grabbing the bar of soap for him. "Here."

"Thanks..." Sam mumbled when Dean placed it in his hand and was grateful when he didn't make any rude comments. Not wanting to prolong the shower, Sam worked on washing down his body and rinsing off before turning the water off. A towel was thrust at him and grabbed it to dry off. He wrapped it around his waist and cinched it before moving the curtain so he could get out.

"Why don't you sit on the commode and get your clothes on?" Dean suggested taking his arm and steering him to it. "Here...Dry your hair." he offered holding out another towel for him.

Sam accepted it and towel dried his hair before reaching for his briefs. He slipped them over his feet and pulled them up his legs and stood for a moment to settle them over his hips. He let the towel drop and reached for his sweats deciding to sit down instead of leaning over thinking that wouldn't be a good idea. Once he had his clothes on, he got up to brush his teeth and let Dean take him back to the bedroom.

 **spn**

"Alright Sammy...Now that you're clean and maybe feeling better, what;s say we talk?" Dean asked as Sam sat down on his bed.

Sam looked up at his brother with a hint of fear in his eyes. He swallowed hard and cast his gaze back down to his clenched hands not sure he could do this.

"Talk to me bro, that's all I'm asking." Dean told him sitting down beside Sam on his bed, not touching him but being close enough to feel the tension bleeding off him. He wasn't giving up on getting answers from Sam no matter how hard he pushed him away.

Sam lowered his head as he tried to pull his thoughts together and talk to his brother. His voice was rough and quiet when he was finally able to find it. "I know when I left you were upset, but I knew I couldn't stay because you would stop me from doing what I needed to do." Sam started clearing his throat and trying to wet his dry mouth. He felt something in his hand and saw Dean had given him a bottle of water. He gratefully sipped on it wetting his mouth and throat so he could continue. "Be honest, if I told you what I was going to do would you have let me?"

Dean didn't say anything as he mulled over the question now knowing what Sam had been doing and wasn't sure if he could be honest with him. What Sam said about him not agreeing to what he was doing was true. He would never have let him go after the Horsemen like he did. "No, 'cause I know how dangerous what you're doing is Sammy. You could of died out there on your own without backup. Why wouldn't you let me at least help you?"

"Because..." Sam mumbled as the rawness of his emotions started coming out when he couldn't stop them.

"Because why? What are you afraid to say Sammy?" Dean pushed trying to make Sam talk.

"I saw you die Dean!...Beaten and bloody and...And I watched the life fade from your eyes as you breathed your last breath...I think it may have been me that did it..." Sam blurred out unable to hold it in any longer as he voice cracked and hitched. He looked away when tears filled his eyes. "My whole life you have protected me...It was my turn to protect you. I had to leave. If you weren't with me then it couldn't happen..." he said softer as a tear leaked from his eye and rand down his cheek.

Dean sat there not able to say anything as Sam's words washed over him. He had no idea what he was talking about when he said he saw him die unless it was a vision. All Dean could do was put an arm around Sam's shoulders and pull him into his embrace as the unshed tears started to fall. He felt Sam bury his face into his neck and felt the hot tears on his skin and heard the soft sobs escape from him as he fisted Dean's shirt. He could feel a tremble run up Sam's body and could feel the coldness of his skin. He reached around and grabbed a blanket to pull around Sam but he didn't let go. He wanted Sam to know he was there for him and wasn't going anywhere.

"I got ya Sammy..." Dean whispered softly to him. He massaged his neck feeling Sam cling desperately to him as his sobs turned into hitched breaths. "Why don't you lay back down and I'll get you up when dinner is ready. We'll figure this out together bro, you don't need to do it alone..." He helped Sam lay back down and pulled covers over his body as he rolled to his side and curled up into a ball. Dean carded his hair a couple of times before stepping away. He paused in the doorway to look back at him and thought about what Sam had said. If it was a vision, he knew it could be changed.

* * *

 **A/N: Now Dean knows Sam wanted to protect him. Thank you to all who are reading this story and for the support. Your reviews are great, please leave one. NC**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Cas was cutting some vegetables when Dean came back downstairs looking devastated and pale. He stopped what he was doing and looked at him, cocking his head slightly trying to determine what was wrong.

"Crap Dean, you look like death warmed over." Charlie commented giving him a once over and not pulling any punches.

Dean didn't say anything as he walked to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. He headed outside to be alone with Jack and his thoughts. Talking to Sam had not turned out like he though it would and now he had to deal with the aftermath. He had left his brother mentally and physically exhausted resting in their bedroom. He had never seen his brother like this and he didn't know how to fix it. This was not like the other times Sam had been injured or needed help and he could nurse him back to health.

It didn't take Dean long to get to his thinking place and plop down on the old car seat wedged into the back of a truck bed. He uncapped the bottle and took a generous swallow of the amber liquid wincing with the burn. He coughed lightly and cleared his throat as he took another mouth full hoping this would settle his nerves enough for him to think. What Sam told him about his vision shook him because he couldn't figure it out. The only way that would ever happen would be if Sam said yes to Lucifer and he knew for a fact he would never do that.

Sammy had gotten two of the Horseman's rings and that left two to go. He still didn't know what he was going to do with them and when he was better was going to question him about it. Knowing his brother, Dean was sure it was something he wasn't going to like. He sipped a little more and stared off across the open field lost in thought as he tried to work out what to do. Dean didn't know how long he had been sitting there when Cas appeared near the truck. He stood there looking at Dean fidgeting slightly, but didn't say anything.

"What Cas?" Dean finally asked when it looked like the angel wasn't going to speak.

"Charlie sent me to find you. She says dinner will be ready in thirty minutes and thought you'd want to be the one to get Sam up. He hasn't eaten anything all day..."

"Alright..." Dean sighed capping the whiskey bottle and standing up. He moved to the end and jumped down catching himself when he stumbled slightly. "Let's go." he said heading back through the maze, not bothering to check to see if Cas was following or not. Dean had not drunk enough to be drunk but did have a slight buzz since he had been drinking on an empty stomach.

 **spn**

Dean stood in the doorway of their bedroom and looked in at his sleeping brother. He was curled up as tight as his lanky body would allow clutching tightly to the blankets he had thrown over him. Old memories surfaced of long ago when Sam was a kid and he had to take care of him when he got sick. He looked the same as that kid he was picturing in his mind. Knowing he needed to get Sam up and make him eat, Dean stepped into the room and moved to the bed to wake him.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty..." Dean said softly as he sat on the bed at Sam's side. "How 'bout we get up and go see what Red made for dinner?"

Sam grunted and groaned as he started moving around and stretched out his body trying to wake up. He rubbed his face and ground his fists into his eyes trying to clear his vision. Sam felt before he saw his brother sitting beside him as Dean pulled the wadded blankets from around him, freeing his body.

"Not sure I want anything." Sam finally grunted as he lay on the bed letting himself wake up.

"You gotta try and eat something Sammy. Even if it's only a couple of bites." he told him. "C'mon, can't hurt Red's feelings after she went to all the trouble of cooking for us."

"I guess." he agreed reluctantly.

"So you and Red have a thing going on or something?" Dean inquired as he moved so Sam could sit up.

"Not hardly, she prefers women." Sam informed him with a shrug. "Bathroom." he said slowly getting to his feet and making sure he was steady before stepping toward the bathroom.

Dean arched his eyebrows in interest at that tidbit of information and followed behind Sam letting him make his way to the bathroom and waited as he closed the door. He leaned against the wall waiting for him to finish so they could go downstairs. He heard the commode flush and water turn on so he stepped away from the door not wanting to seem too over protective of his brother.

He would have brought food to him, but felt Sam needed to be up and moving around to help in his healing. Dean cringed when Sam stopped at the top of the stairs before grabbing the railing to slowly make his way down. He tensed as he stayed close being ready to grab him if he stumbled or fell. He didn't let out the breath he was holding until Sam stepped off the last step onto the floor.

"You okay?" Sam asked when Dean almost missed the bottom step and stumbled but caught himself before going down.

"I'm good." Dean stated trying to act like nothing happened.

Both of them sniffed the air as tantalizing aromas wafted in from the kitchen where Charlie was taking up the food and Cas was setting the table. They moved toward the kitchen and the enticing smell.

 **spn**

"Smells good Red." Dean commented looking at the table laden with food.

"I hope you like it. It's one of my favorite meals." she said sitting the last bowl on the table. "Sam! Finally, I was wondering if your brother was going to keep us apart forever! How are you doing?" she asked moving to him to give him a hug and to let him know she was there for him.

"Better Charlie, thanks for asking." Sam told her trying to give her a half hearted smile while glancing at Dean wondering what went on between them.

"What would you like to drink guys?" Charlie asked sitting tea, water, ginger ale and milk on the counter and looking at the guys for an answer.

"Tea's fine." Dean told her seeing she had everything under control.

"I'll try some ginger ale." Sam said not sure how tolerable his stomach was going to be and hoped the soda would help.

"Cas?" Charlie asked him when he didn't answer.

"I have no ne..."

"He'll take tea too." Dean answered for him giving him a stern look not to continue with that sentence. He wasn't sure what Sam had told her and wanted to be careful since he didn't know her that well. "Take a seat Cas." he motioned for him to sit down.

Cas didn't continue talking but sat down next to Sam and accepted the tea Charlie put by his plate. She gave him a funny look but didn't say anything about what she was thinking. He could eat but didn't have to but knew that was what Dean wanted. Once everyone was seated at the table, Dean looked at the food to see what she had fixed.

"Okay, so I made a stir fry with beef, fried rice, noodles, homemade egg rolls and Sam I kept out some plain rice for you since I wasn't sure how you would be feeling." Charlie explained pointing to each dish before dishing some noodles onto her plate and topping it with the stir fry.

"Thanks Charlie."

"I gotta say Red, you're full of surprises." Dean complimented her as he helped himself to the food. "Sammy, try a little and see how you do." Dean told him putting a spoon of the stir fry on his plate.

Sam grimaced slightly and added some plain rice thinking that might be safe. He sipped some cold ginger ale first feeling his stomach gurgle as it hit and felt a burp coming up. Luckily it was a silent one and he covered his mouth as another followed. Sam tried a small bite of rice and watched as Cas studied the others and copied what they did by putting the stir fry over the rice to eat it. He couldn't help but smile knowing he usually wouldn't eat with them.

"How did you get this beef so tender?" Dean asked taking another bite of it as he looked to Charlie.

"I tenderized it and marinated it before cooking."

"You can cook for us any time, this is great." Dean said as he chewed a mouth of food.

"Dean, manners." Sam mumbled when he started talking with his mouth full.

"Eat Sammy. Don't worry 'bout me." Dean replied using his fork as a pointer.

Sam gave him a halfway bitch face but ate a bite of rice to appease him. He tried a little stir fry and thought it was tasty and ate a little more. He didn't see Dean keeping a close eye on him to be sure he did eat because his thoughts were on the next Horseman and getting the ring. Also, he needed to get the other two away from Dean somehow. Sam's eyes went glassy and out of focus as he froze dropping his fork and making Dean quickly look his way.

"What's happening?" Charlie whispered when she saw the blank look on Sam's face.

"Damnit!" Dean mumbled. "I thought those had stopped. He'll be okay just give him a minute." he told Charlie as he reached to move his drink from his hand so it wouldn't spill. He checked his watch to time the episode and checked his pulse to feel it beating strong against his fingers. He didn't know if his battle with the demon blood brought them back or not but he hoped they wouldn't be lasting.

Nearly a minute later Sam blinked rapidly a few times and looked around at everyone staring at him wondering what happened. The room was quiet and he stared to feel uncomfortable with the attention.

"You okay Sammy?" Dean asked cautiously.

"I think so, did something happen?" he asked unsure why they were looking at him with concern and worry.

"Why don't you try to eat a little more and we'll talk later." he suggested giving the others a warning look to not say anything. Dean was trying to decide whether to tell him about this or not. He knew it was something Sam needed to know and maybe he could tell him where he goes when it happens. Dean wasn't even sure Sam realized these blank episodes were even happening.

Sam looked down at his plate and pushed the food around on it. When he glanced at Cas and Charlie neither would look at him. Something had happened but he wasn't sure what. They had been talking and things just went blank for a moment before he came back.

"I need to update you on what I found when you're ready." Charlie told him glancing at Dean as she said it.

"Sure, no problem." Sam said not catching the exchange between the two.

"I think I need to sit in on that conversation since Red here is pretty tight lipped." Dean said looking at Sam to see what he would say.

Sam stiffened for a moment and pressed his lips tightly together knowing he had no excuse to keep Dean out of it. He was hoping to continue this alone but was pretty sure unless he ran again it wasn't going to happen. "Alright." Sam finally said but you could tell with the tone of his voice he didn't like it.

"You sure Sam? It's up to you." Charlie assured him wanting it to be his decision and not his brother's.

Dean bristled at her remark and stared daggers at her for a moment before turning back to Sam. "Yeah Sammy are you sure?" he asked a hint of sarcasm in his voice as he glared at Sam.

"Yes, it looks like I'm staying, so we might as well get on the same page." he answered glaring back at him and not backing down. "I'm staying." he sighed knowing it was the right thing.

"That's good to hear Sammy." Dean replied, softer and more understandingly. "You made the right decision. We'll do this together bro, that's how it should be. It's us against the baddies...We'll make this right."

"I hope so Dean, I hope so." Sam whispered as he gazed off into space not really looking at anything lost in thought.

Cas and Charlie looked at each other remaining quiet as the brothers hashed their differences out. Cas was glad Sam had decided to stay knowing that was one worry Dean could mark off. Charlie was glad Sam wanted them to stay because she thought Dean would make finding the other two rings easier. He could at least add his expertise to the task and back Sam up when needed. She felt better about all this now with the extra help. They finished the meal with minimal conversation.

* * *

 **A/N: So Sam is staying and letting Dean and Cas help. Now the hunt begins for the next Horseman. Thank you to all who are reading this. Reviews make my day. NC**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

An old beat up two door, green, late model Ford pulled up to a convenience store and parked. A cloud of flies swarmed around the driver and followed him out. An older man got out sneezing and wiping his red nose and made his way into the store. He coughed hard and hacked up phlegm into a tissue as he made his way to the cold and flu section looking for medicine. The stranger picked up a number of boxes and put them back leaving mucus and phlegm on them and ran his hand down the rest spreading the germs for swine flu. He finally choose several items and made his way to the front of the store where a young man stood behind the cash register. After laying his purchases down, the man sneezed loud and hard spewing enough germs and disease to coat most of the candy, chewing gun and other small items at the register alone with the cashier.

"Oh sorry 'bout that." he apologized wiping his nose and sniffing hard. "Can't seem to shake this cold."

"I see." the man replied carefully picking up the items and ringing them up. "That will be twenty-four, seventy-eight."

"Right, got it right here." he mumbled making a big deal of looking through his pockets and pulling out small bills, being sure he coughed on them as he counted them out. "Twenty-five dollars and don't bother with the change." he said taking the bag and turning to leave. He paused at the magazine stand and ran a hand over the magazines and newspapers before shuffling on out to the car. Once he was out of sight of the cashier, Pestilence tossed the bag in the back seat of the car and breathed in a long breath pleased with himself. There would be quiet a number of people infected and they would pass it on to others and those to others until there would be an epidemic rising. He planned on stopping at several other stores along his way to his home base, a covalence home several hundred miles away. There he could test his concoctions on the patients to see which ones would be the most potent. Lucifer had given him demon possessed humans to do all the dirty work and to manufacture the vaccines laced with the Croatoan virus that would be sent out to hospitals and doctor offices once the swine flu epidemic spread across the country. He smiled happily that his plan was coming together so well and soon human zombies would start taking over. Pestilence cranked the car, listening to it backfire and sputter before driving away thinking today was a good day.

 **spn**

Dean gathered up the dishes from the table and took them to the sink and ran water on them. He accepted more dishes from Cas and added them to the growing pile.

"Why don't we go sit on the deck and talk?" Dean told Sam and Charlie as he wiped his hands on a towel. "Might as well join us Cas, you're part of this too."

"Are you sure?" he asked not wanting to intrude.

"Yes." Dean stated opening the door to allow them to go outside. He waited until they were all on the deck before joining them.

Sam and Charlie sat on the swing and Cas and Dean pulled a chair over facing them and close enough to talk easily. No one said anything for a few minutes as they settled and got comfortable. Charlie curled her legs up under her and turned slightly toward Sam so she could speak directly to him.

"What have you found out Charlie?" Sam asked deciding to get it over with.

"Okay, so you've found two of them right?" she asked him ignoring Cas and Dean.

"Yes, War and Famine. I need to find Pestilence and Death and I'm thinking Pestilence will be the next target. I don't think Death has been summoned yet."

"I haven't found him per say, but I think I've found his second in command." she said excitedly. "It took some doing, but I'm sure of it. Just got a name not much else on him, not even a picture."

"Great, all we have to do is get to him and make him talk." Sam said in an ominous, serious voice.

"I think I can help with that since I'm sure he's a demon." Dean commented as he listened to them talk.

Charlie and Sam turned their heads to look at him when he spoke. Sam frowned and Charlie looked puzzled by his comment since she didn't know his background and his stint in hell.

"So where is this second in command located?"

"It seems he's a CEO of some big pharmaceutical company in Wisconsin called Niveus Pharmaceutical and supposedly they have come up with a new vaccine for the swine flu. But I'm a little leery of it since I know what I now know." she told them.

"Guess Cas and me are taking a road trip." Dean said. "You're in no shape to confront this guy." he told Sam.

"I'm fine." Sam growled giving him a bitch face as he sat up straighter.

"No, you're not and you know it." Dean told him in no uncertain terms. "Guys wanna give us a minute alone?" he said to Cas and Charlie.

"Of course Dean." Cas said getting up to leave knowing this was between the brothers.

"Sam?" Charlie asked not making a move to leave. She was standing by him and would defend him if needed as she pulled her legs out from under her to ease forward in her seat.

"It's okay Charlie." Sam whispered to her.

"Alright, just know I'll be right inside..." she said laying a hand on his arm before getting up and glaring at Dean. "Just call if you need me." she finished getting up to follow Cas into the kitchen leaving the brothers alone.

 **spn**

"She doesn't pull any punches." Dean smirked seeing Charlie standing near the window so she could see out.

"Dean..."

"Before you start Sammy, just listen okay?"

"Fine..." he growled madly slumping down in the swing to pout.

"Look Sammy I know you said you'd stay and I'm glad you made that decision and you think you have to do this alone, but you're wrong. You don't have to shoulder this burden by yourself. We can do this together, like it should be. We're stronger together and you know it. I don't care about what you saw in your vision bro, I'm here for you now and will be here for you in the future. There's nothing I won't do to protect you and help you put the devil back in the cage. You've gotta trust me on this bro." Dean explained to his brother hoping to get him to see reason in all this.

"And if I have to sacrifice myself to do it...Will you let me?" Sam asked bluntly looking up into Dean concerned eyes. He saw confusion, fear, and anger flash in them as Dean drew in a sharp breath. "That may be what it takes Dean, I've already come to terms with it, so you need to too."

"No, I won't accept that, there's gotta be a way to do it without you doing that Sammy." Dean demanded stubbornly. "We just have to find it. Now tell me about the rings and why you need them."

"They're supposed to somehow open a portal to the cage. I just have to find out how they work." Sam told him deciding he might as well know.

"So once you get it open then we have to get the devil to jump in?"

"Easier said than done. I don't think he'll be going willingly."

"What if we find a way to maybe bind him, even if its just for a few minutes to get the cage opened and then force him into it?"

"You do know he's the devil right? An archangel? How would we do that?"

"There's gotta be a way. Maybe Bobby can help find something or maybe Cas knows something."

 **spn**

Charlie stood by the window looking out with her arms crossed over her chest and swearing under her breath. She didn't like the way Sam's brother was treating him and didn't like being kept out of the loop.

"They're talking about putting Lucifer back in the cage." Cas offered as he watched her trying to read their lips or hear them.

"How do you know that?"

"I can hear them." Cas shrugged.

"What do you mean you can hear them?" she asked turning to him to stare hard. "Just what is your role in all this mess? You don't look like much of a fighter and you act sort of funny sometimes. And how would you and Dean capture this CEO if he's not human?" she shot questions at Cas and suddenly paused as things clicked in her mind. "You're not human are you?"

"No, I'm an angel just like Lucifer. He's my brother." Cas told her deciding she might as well know the truth. "I was a soldier of the Lord."

"Come again?" she gasped going to sit at the table with him. "An angel and a soldier? You don't look much like an angel to me?"

"If you gazed upon my true form it would burn your eyes out."

"Okay...Good to know, but why do you look like this?"

"I am possessing a devout man's body. He chose this and his soul is in heaven now. Being in this body helps me to be among humans."

"Whoa, that's some heavy crap."

"I'm not sure I understand?"

"I just mean that's some serious stuff and a lot to process. So you can hear them talking outside?"

"I **am** a celestial being."

"Ri-ght..." she stretched out the word wondering what else he was capable of and glad he was on their side.

 **spn**

"Sammy...We need to talk about something else." Dean told him carefully.

"What do you mean?" he asked seeing the worried look on Dean's face.

"Have you noticed that you're like zoning out at times?"

"I'm not sure...I kind of thought something was going on..." he said looking down at his clenched hands and making them open.

"You don't know where you go when it happens?"

"No, not really, what happens?"

"You just sort of freeze and go away...There's a blank look on your face and the longest time you were out was ninety seconds, then you come back like nothing really happened. This is another reason we need to stick together. I don't know if it's after affects of your head injury or not, but we can't rule it out. What if it happened when you were out there alone hunting?"

Sam bit his lower lip and frowned as he tried to make sense of what Dean was telling him. As far as he knew it hadn't happened during the time he was gone or at least he didn't think so. This was just something else he was going to have to deal with but he wasn't giving up on stopping Lucifer.

"Look I know you're worried and all, but there may be someone who can help us, but you're not going to like it."

"Who?"

"Crowley."

"Crap." Sam muttered in disgust. That was a name he remembered and Dean was right he wasn't happy with it. Crowley had helped them only when it benefited him and they usually got the raw end of the deal.

 **spn**

"What did they just say?" Charlie asked when she saw the reaction from Cas from something he heard.

"I really shouldn't say. You should ask Dean or Sam about this." Castiel said feeling uncomfortable relaying the brother's conversation, especially when Crowley was mentioned.

"I'm sure Dean will love to talk to me." she sneered sarcastically.

"Is there a problem between you and Dean?"

"I don't know, he seems pretty overbearing if you ask me. Is he always like that?"

"Dean wants to protect Sam, he's his little brother and he takes that role very seriously. They have been through some very difficult times in the past and bad decisions were made on both their parts, but he cares deeply for Sam and doesn't want to see him hurt again."

"I can see that, but he does need to give Sam a little breathing room." she surmised looking back out the window at them wondering what was being said. It wasn't that she didn't like Dean; she just didn't understand the brother's relationship.

"Stay here Charlie." he said when he sensed the presence nearby.

 **spn**

Sam stopped suddenly when something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and a hyped feeling ran through him. Sam moved to the railing and studied the darkness trying to discern what was there.

"What is it?" Dean asked standing and looking in the direction that Sam was engrossed in.

"I thought I saw something..." Sam mumbled feeling like an electrical charge was in the air.

Dean turned when Cas stepped onto the deck and started to walk toward the stacked wrecks. "Cas what's going on?"

"It's an angel and she wants to talk to me." he said moving into the darkness out of their sight.

"How'd you know one was out there?" Dean asked Sam.

"I guess maybe the grace? I'm not sure." Sam said knowing pretty sure that was the reason he could sense the other angel. He didn't want to come out and say it thought, not wanting Dean to question what else he might be able to do.

"You'll have to tell me more about this being a tune to angels thing."

"Not sure I can, it's just a feeling." Sam said.

"You can't like tune in angel radio can you?"

"Haven't really tried, but I wouldn't know how to."

"Listen Sam, you need to be upfront with me about things, especially if it's about things that you can suddenly do."

"Sure Dean." Sam replied not sure he could keep his word.

 **spn**

Noises at the front door made Charlie look that way and saw Bobby coming in and hurrying down the hall to his bedroom. Charlie wondered if something was wrong and wandered into the living room to see what was going on. A few minutes later Bobby came out carrying a duffle.

"Where are the boys?" he asked Charlie.

"They're on the deck trying to talk things out."

"Well tell them I'm going to meet Rufus and help him with a hunt. I know this is a bad time, but he can't get a hold of another hunter to help. Seems everyone's tied up with something. Not sure when I'll be back but I'll call them. Oh and tell them not to be idjits and do anything stupid while I'm gone."

"I will tell them." Charlie assured him. She watched Bobby head out the front door and went back into the kitchen to see if they were done talking and to find out where Cas wandered off to.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading. Thank you guests who left reviews. I do like them, if you have a moment to leave one. NC**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Happy Thanksgiving to any US readers out there. I hope you day is filled with warmth, good food, family and friends. May we all pause for a moment just to give thanks for what we have and pray for those who are less fortunate. My thoughts are will all those who have lost so much in the fires in California. NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 36**

Charlie got up when the brothers came in the door and she gave Sam a once over before speaking.

"You okay Sam?" she asked looking at Dean before giving Sam her full attention.

"Yeah Charlie, I'm fine." Sam answered giving her brief smile at her concern.

"Cas, you wanna join us in Bobby's office when you're through talking?" Dean said knowing he would hear him. "We've got some planning to do." Dean said looking at Sam.

"Charlie should be included too." Sam insisted giving Dean an unwavering look that he wasn't backing down.

"I am here." Cas stated walking from the living room to the kitchen doorway.

"Fine." Dean finally grunted as he gave in to Sam's request. "But she stays out of the way."

"I'll take care of it."

"Really guys? Standing right here; you don't have to talk around me." Charlie complained standing up to them with her hands on her hips.

All three turned to look at her with a questioning look from Cas, a surprised look from Sam, and a smirky look from Dean. She stared back defiantly daring any of them to object.

"Guess you're getting a crash course on Monsters 101." Dean commented before walking toward the office.

"Bobby came back, but left to help Rufus on a hunt." Charlie told Dean as they walked into the office. "He didn't know when he'd be back and he said to tell you _not to be idjits and do anything stupid while I'm gone._ " she said trying to sound like Bobby when she said it.

"Not quiet got him down yet Red." Dean chuckled with her rendition of Bobby. "Guess we're on our own for now then."

"Charlie can I talk to you for a moment alone." Sam said pulling her aside as Dean and Cas headed on to Bobby's office.

 **spn**

"You don't have to do this you know. You can walk away and forget I ever contacted you." Sam told her as he caught her arm, stopping her from following the other two. "It could get dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Quit trying to talk me out of this. Now that I've started, I'm in for the long haul. I can take care of myself and I'm not afraid of a little danger. It's what makes each day worth getting up for. Besides this is the ultimate challenge for me and I love it! Do you think Bobby would mind if I read some of his books?"

"Just be sure to put it back where you got it. It might not look like it, but Bobby does have an un-logical order for them."

"Thanks, I'll be sure to do that."

"So what's going on between Dean and you?" he asked quietly hoping Dean didn't hear as he looked toward the other room.

"He's too overbearing and controlling. Guess he's not used to others being in control." Charlie shrugged. "He should treat you better."

"You don't know him..." Sam said trying to defend Dean even though he was mad at him. "He's worried about me and wants to try and fix everything for me. But this time, I don't think he can. When our Mom was killed...Well Dean took over 'cause Dad was too lost in his own grief and loss. He was my big brother, a Dad, a Mom, my protector and my best friend. He raised me and he let me go when I went to college, though it just about killed him. I honestly don't know where'd I be without his influence. Yeah, he can be pushy and hard to get alone with, but there's always a reason. He...He sacrificed everything for me..." Sam mumbled trying to stop the tears and not wanting to tell her about Dean going to hell to bring him back. That was too personal and private that he wanted to keep between Dean and him.

"Hey, it's alright. I'll grow on him." Charlie told him softly giving him a much needed hug which Sam readily accepted.

"You guys coming?" Dean called to them and broke the moment. "We don't have all night you know."

Sam cleared his throat and pushed his emotions down not wanting Dean to see, but knew he would sense him being upset. He had always been able to tell when Sam was upset, worried, or hurting. He didn't look at Dean as they joined them in the office wondering what type of plan he was going to come up with. If he wasn't going to allow him to help with the kidnapping, he was definitely going to make sure he was there when he questioned this person about Pestilence.

 **spn**

"So what did your visitor want Cas?"

"She wanted to relay a message that Lucifer was getting ready to raise Death, the last Horseman."

"We already knew that was coming."

"I know where he will be."

"Great! But we can't go there. We'll need his ring before we confront Lucifer and hope to have a chance to send him back to the cage. Think maybe she can track Death and keep us informed on his location?"

"I don't know. The angels aren't too keen on helping us at the moment."

"Alright, well on to more important matters..." Dean said sitting down in Bobby's chair as the other three took seats around the desk. "First thing we need to do is find a place to hold this bastard. It needs to be isolated so we can do what needs to be done."

"I can find a place for that." Cas said standing up. "I will search it out and return." he said getting up and stepping away to vanish from the room.

"Holy cow!" Charlie exclaimed. "Did that just happen? I know he said he was an angel, but holy cow!"

"You know he's an angel?" Sam asked in surprise.

"Yes, while you guys talked, we talked and it just sort of came out." she said innocently.

Dean looked at her as he pursed his lips trying to decide whether to say something or not and chose the latter. "Does Bobby still have those handcuffs with the sigils of devil's traps on them?" Dean asked Sam.

"Yeah, I think they're in the panic room."

"I need to pack the car and be ready to leave when Cas gets back. You can stay here with Charlie and when..."

"Like hell that's going to happen Dean." Sam spat at him. "You're not leaving me out of this, no freakin' way, so get that out of your head. **I am going, end of discussion**." Sam voiced loudly before pushing his chair back hard and stomping from the room. He was really getting tired of Dean trying to keep him out of this, but no matter what he did Sam had already decided he was going to be there.

"Way to go dumb ass." Charlie snipped at him as she got up and went after Sam.

"Okay you can go!" Dean muttered madly and then wondered why he said that when he didn't really want him to go. He looked in the direction Sam had gone and an unsettling feeling crossed through his mind. It was like someone made him say those words and wondered if Sam had done it. Had he put that thought in his head?

"I have found a location..." Cas started and looked to see Dean was the only one in the room. "Where did everyone go?"

"Don't ask." Dean huffed madly. "I'll get everything we need together so we can leave."

"Are Sam and Charlie going?"

"Can't stop them, so I guess so."

"Is there a problem?"

"No Cas, I'll work it out." he said getting up and trudging out of the room to leave Cas standing there unsure of what to do. He finally followed Dean to see if he could be of assistance.

 **spn**

Charlie stopped in the living room looking around trying to find Sam. She heard the back door slam shut and headed that way. Sam was standing at the end of the deck leaning against the railing and staring off across the yard. She could tell by his body language he was still mad and approached him cautiously.

"Hey, wanna talk?" she asked him joining him at the railing and checking out what he was looking at.

Sam stiffened when he heard the door open but knew instantly that it wasn't Dean. He heard the soft footsteps and then Charlie's soft voice speaking to him. He knew she was only trying to help but didn't know if he could talk about it right now.

"Look, I'm not making excuses for your brother. I did call him a dumb ass, but one thing I can tell about him is that he loves you very much."

"You actually did that?" Sam asked giving a half chuckle at Charlie's brashness and boldness. There were not many who would dare do that to his brother and he never thought Charlie was one of them.

"I call them like I see them." she shrugged. "So talk to me big guy. I'm a good listener and you can fuss if you want. It won't hurt my feelings."

"Sometimes...Man he's just too overprotective. I'll always be his little brother, but he's gotta let me grow up and treat me like an adult. I know we have some issues right now but I think we're working through them and maybe we can get some of what was lost back. I don't know...If I don't put the devil back where he belongs it may all be for nothing..."

"You can't think like that Sam. We'll find a way."

"Hey if you two are coming with us get your asses in gear and get your things together." Dean called from the backdoor.

"We're coming." Sam replied knowing they had better do as Dean requested or he'd leave them behind. "C'mon, he'll leave us if we don't hurry."

"That's okay, we've got my car and I bet I can track them to where they're going." Charlie smirked but followed Sam inside to get her things so they could leave.

"I know you could." Sam laughed, happy that Charlie had decided to help him. She might not be a hunter, but she was pulling her weight with her skills.

 **spn**

There was silence in the Impala as Dean headed for the abandoned house Cas had found for them to use. Music was playing quietly in the background, but no one was talking. The traffic was light and exits were become fewer and farther between. He glanced at his fuel gauge deciding to get gas before they got to the house and ran out of places to stop. He signaled his intentions and pulled off the road at the next exit that advertised suitable gas. Sam had been mulling things over in his head about his newfound abilities and wondered what else the angel grace might allow him to do. It was an eerie feeling when he felt the angel nearby, like he shouldn't be doing it. He knew he had stopped Cas when he left, but could he grow strong enough to stop an archangel? He looked around when the motion of the Impala changed to see what was going on.

"I'm stopping for gas so if you need to hit the head or get something to eat or drink do it now. We won't be stopping again." Dean stated as he pulled to a pump and stopped the car.

"Great, I needed to stretch my legs anyway." Charlie said getting out and heading for the front door.

Sam pulled himself from the car and stretched feeling his spine pop and groaned softly. It seemed the grace he was given had healed and stopped his withdrawals from the demon blood but he was still stiff from riding for so long. He followed Charlie to find the restrooms and to get something to drink. Castiel got out but stayed back with Dean as he pumped gas.

"Are you sure we need to summon Crowley? You know he's not one to freely give favors and he doesn't like doing anything for nothing."

"He may be able to help and it's in his best interest if we stick the devil back in the cage, so I think he'll help." Dean replied. "What better way to catch a demon than with the King of Hell?"

"I think Lucifer may have dethroned him."

"Then he has a better reason to help us. But don't worry, I'm not letting my guard down; I'll be watching him closely."

"I will leave it to your judgment then. And I will be watching him closely too."

"You want anything from inside?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll just wait in the car for everyone." he said getting in the back again.

"Alright, I won't be long." Dean said heading for the door to use the restroom and grab a drink and jerky. He met Sam and Charlie coming out and watched as they talked quietly together. He wondered if they were cooking up some scheme to get the rings from him, but shrugged it off knowing it would not happen. He headed to the back of the store to the restrooms thinking he needed to have Cas search for ways of containing an archangel.

* * *

 **A/N: The third ring is may be within their reach soon. Thank you for deciding to read my story. Reviews are my lifeline, if you have a moment please leave one. NC**

 ** **Special Note: If you are looking for a new story to read, Clowns or Midgets has two up and they both are great. I had the honor of helping with one of them. You should check then out.****


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

The two story house was set back in a stand of trees, hidden from view and isolated like Dean wanted. He parked the car on the far side of the house to hide it and got out. The others followed suit and helped get the things from the back to take inside.

Charlie looked around at the shape of the place wondering how long it had been since someone had lived in it and if there were any unwanted guests hiding in the shadows. Shutters were haphazardly hanging on the windows, paint was peeling off in long strips, weeds and vines had taken over the yard and part of the porch and a few window panes were missing here and there. She shuffled closer to Sam and watched as Cas grasped the door knob and opened it with ease. Dean went in first and looked around deciding to use the large room to the right for the interrogation. He found a decent chair and sat it up and swept some trash from a small table before sitting his weapon's bag in it. Sam looked around the place and retrieved several more chairs to use, offering one to Charlie.

"You start on the devil's trap." Dean ordered Sam tossing a can of spray paint his way. "Clear an area over there."

Sam quickly caught it and moved over to the side of the room and took a long forgotten towel to wipe the dust away before starting to draw out the trap as Dean pulled what he would need to summon Crowley from his bag. Cas took a seat by Charlie knowing he wasn't needed yet and waited for them to finish their tasks.

"What's going on?" Charlie asked quietly.

"Dean is going to summon a demon." Cas said like it was nothing unusual and something they did on a regular basis.

Charlie did a double take with the information and turned again to watch the brothers with interest. This was all new to her and she was taking everything in. Sam stood up and studied his design for a moment before touching it up and turning back to his brother.

"It's ready." Sam said dropping the spray can back into the pack and stood by Dean as he finished putting the last of the ingredients into the bowl.

Dean began to speak in Latin as he tossed a match into the bowl causing the contents to flare up brightly and smoke for a moment. It was only a matter of seconds before a figure appeared in the devil's trap dressed in a dark suit and sipping on a glass of amber liquid.

"Moose, Squirrel, what's the occasion? Feathers and who have we here my lovely red headed creature?" Crowley asked as he turned to face them and looked down at the devil's trap. "Really boys, I thought we were friends, BFFs? A devil's trap?"

"We're not friends Crowley." Dean growled at him.

"Is he talking to me?" Charlie whispered to Castiel as she eyed the man standing in the devil's trap. He was dressed in a three piece dark suit and spoke with an English accent. She would never have thought that this uppity person was a demon.

"Why are your demons teaming with Lucifer and protecting the Horsemen?" Sam asked.

"My demons? Well, when _you freed_ the devil, he decided to visit hell and riled up the masses. Needless to say I was not welcome anymore and had to disappear before becoming his latest victim. So I ask you what are you three are going **to do about it**." Crowley droned on as his voice got louder and higher at the end.

"What do you know about the CEO of a pharmaceutical company in Wisconsin?" Dean asked him not bothering to let him out of the trap.

"Not a thing, but I might be able to find something out. I still have a few contacts." he suggested looking down at the trap. "If you would..."

Dean grumbled under his breath as he begrudgingly moved to the trap and pulled a knife out and squatted down to scrap through the outer circle so Crowley could step out.

"Hello my dear young lady, and who might you be?" Crowley asked Charlie as he stepped over to her and took her hand kissing it like a proper gentleman might do.

"Charlie." she said looking him up and down for a moment. "So you're a demon right?"

"Yes, the name's Crowley, former King of Hell." he said bowing slightly to her and smiled.

"King of Hell, and now you're what?" she asked curious about him.

"Incognito my dear and now it looks like I shall be helping you trap the devil."

"Alright, leave Charlie alone." Dean said in disgust. "We need some recon on this CEO and find a weak spot so we can grab him."

"You know I'm on Lucifer's Most Wanted List correct?"

"You wanted to help, so help." Dean stated madly. "You want us to put the devil back in the cage...Do your part. You're not blameless in all this you know."

"I shall see what I can find out." he said before vanishing.

"Dude! Do all demons do that like angels?" Charlie asked.

"No, he was the King of Hell so he has more power than most demons." Cas told her.

"Interesting to know. Does he always try to sweet talk women?"

"Ignore Crowley; he's only in it for himself." Sam told her as he helped Dean to gather the items up from the spell.

"How long do you think he'll be?" Charlie questioned thinking time had a different aspect for angels and demons.

"I'm hurt Moose, have I not helped you in the past?" Crowley asked when he appeared nearby.

"So what did you find out?" Dean asked him not wanting to waste time.

"We should talk alone Squirrel." Crowley told him looking over at Sam for a moment.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"What's going on?" Sam asked not catching everything being said.

"Moose shouldn't be here for this...This little operation." Crowley offered.

"And why is that? What are you not saying Crowley?" Sam demanded as his temper flared. He looked at him hard and Crowley started to cough as a puff of red smoke slipped between his lips.

"Ummm...Sammy man...He still might be useful so let's not kill him...Yet." Dean told Sam laying a hand on his shoulder to stop him before he went too far.

Sam blinked several times as his concentration was broken and he looked at Crowley with a bitchy look.

"My my, it seems you've changed Moose. You've learned some new tricks since last time we worked together." Crowley commented looking at him warily as he straightened his tie. "You can capture this guy when he leaves work. He usually stops at this French restaurant on his way home to pick up a meal. Seems he's acquired a taste for the cuisine."

"Good. Sammy you're staying here with Charlie while Cas and me handle this. Get this place ready for our guest."

"But I want..." Sam started but Dean stopped him by holding up his hand.

"It's either that or I have Cas take you back to Bobby's and lock you in the panic room until this is over." he told Sam in a tone that didn't leave room for argument. "Oh and Sammy, you better be here when I get back..." Dean continued wanting him to know there'd be no more running and doing this on his own.

Sam scowled at Dean and saw he meant business and finally hissed, "Fine..." He turned on his heels and stomped out of the room to be followed by Charlie who looked pissed at Dean in passing. She didn't show any fear of him and wanted him to know it. He might be able to control his brother, but she wasn't bending to his brute force.

Crowley smirked as he the watched the confrontation between the brothers and wondered what had transpired to cause this. He was curious about Sam's interesting powers and if he could somehow use it to his advantage.

"Let's go Crowley, you're helping too since this will benefit you too." Dean sneered at him before heading out the door.

 **spn**

Charlie found Sam in what she thought was a large living room where they had left the bags. He had found a ratty broom and was sweeping dust from around the chair in a growing circle. She could tell by his body language he was brooding and upset. She watched him stop for a moment and grab the chair for support as his body wavered slightly. After a few slow breaths, he continued to clear the area.

"Sam..." Charlie spoke quietly and cautiously. "Look I know your brother's being a douche bag, but as much as I hate to say it, he's right."

Sam looked up at Charlie a look of betrayal on his face and started to speak, but she cut him off.

"You're not a hundred percent Sam and you can't face a demon or however many there are like that and not get hurt. Dean's trying to protect you from yourself though I don't particularly like his methods but he's doing it because he loves you and doesn't want to see you get hurt. I can see how much he cares for you; it's written across his face and in his eyes. I know, I know, you stubborn men don't talk about feelings and such, but it's true and if you take a moment and appraise the situation you'll see I'm telling the truth. I don't know what went on between you two before you contacted me, but I'm in agreement with the douche bag that we need help to do this." Charlie said not letting Sam speak yet. She walked closer and laid a hand on his arm and looked up into his angry eyes. "What can I do to help?"

Sam stared at her like she was betraying him as she defended Dean to him. He had to admit that he wasn't fully over the withdrawal yet, but he was close. He looked down at the floor he was sweeping and tried to think logically and without emotions and knew they both were right. At least Dean did let him come and he could be a part of this and help get the information they needed on Pestilence. He looked back up at Charlie in a different light and knew she was being the reasonable one here. He let his shoulder slump slightly and accepted what was happening.

"You can get the spray paint out of the bag for me." he finally said. "I need to draw a devil's trap to hold him."

"You're going to have to teach that to me." she said, happy that Sam had listened to her. Charlie looked into the heavy bag Dean had been carrying and froze as she surveyed all the deadly weapons. This was the part she didn't like but knew it was the only way and she had to remember what they were dealing with was not human. She snagged a can of spray paint and turned back to Sam, her emotions under control and hidden.

 **spn**

"You know what to do Cas?" Dean asked as they staked out the restaurant waiting on their target.

"Yes, take out the driver and take his place while Crowley takes out the other guard."

"Right, I'll tranq the big boss and we take him back to the house to interrogate."

"If Crowley's information is correct he should be here shortly." Cas said glaring at Crowley.

"And Crowley, no funny business got it?"

"Please...I'm offended that you'd suggest..."

"Can it dirt bag, I know you're only helping 'cause this gets you your throne back." Dean shot at him making him huff with the insult.

"I'm telling you Moose shouldn't be around when you question him." Crowley offered but only got death glares from the hunter and angel. "It's your party." he shrugged ignoring them.

"Let's hope he's not running behind." Dean grumbled as he shifted around in his seat impatient to get this done. He let his hand rest on a pocket that had the two rings and could feel the outline of them. He knew better than to leave them where Sam might find them and decide to take off on his own again. Dean had secretly put tracking devices in his duffle and on his cell and laptop in case he did that. He had a feeling Charlie could easily find the last two but hoped they wouldn't think about the first. The only thing in his favor was he had the lead to the next Horseman.

"I think that may be them." Cas said watching an SUV pull up into a no parking spot and a young man get out to head into the restaurant.

"Crowley you take the one standing by the car, Cas the one inside." Dean told them as he got ready to do battle.

Dean got into position to take down the boss while Crowley appeared behind the demon standing by the car and shoved an angel blade into his back. At the same time, Cas appeared in the passenger seat and stabbed the driver with his blade. Neither knew what took them out and Cas quickly removed the bodies before anyone was the wiser. He took the driver's place and Dean waited in the shadows for the target to come back out, the dart gun ready. Crowley disappeared into the shadows to wait to see how this played out. He had his money on the Winchesters since they seemed to always come out on top in these type of situations. He wasn't a fool because he knew how they felt about him, so he was going to watch his back closely.

* * *

 **A/N: They're getting one step closer to the third ring. Thank all for the support and thank you to the guests who left reviews that I can't personally thank. You know what I like... NC**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

The target walked from the restaurant with bags in his hands and headed for the illegally parked SUV. He opened the back and sat the bags inside and suddenly felt the prick of the dart in his neck and reached for it. Dean was on him instantly and hustled his body into the back.

"Quick Cas, get the cuffs on him." Dean said holding up his arms so Cas could clamp the special cuffs on him. "Take him to the house I'll meet you there." he instructed him as he gave the guy a shot of a strong acting sedative to be sure he stay out. The cuffs would keep him from smoking out and from doing anything supernatural.

"Of course Dean." Cas said starting the SUV and pulling away from the curve.

"I will see you back at the house Squirrel." Crowley said disappearing from his sight.

Dean watched him drive away and headed for the Impala to follow. He didn't like working with Crowley, but right now they didn't have a choice and its better to keep your enemies close in times likes these. He sent a text to Sam to let him know they were on their way and to be ready. He caught up to Cas and followed behind him keeping an eye out for any trouble. It took them thirty minutes to get back to the house and Dean stopped beside him. He saw Sam standing on the porch waiting for them.

"Help me Cas." Dean said opening the back and jerking the guy out letting him fall to the ground. They grabbed his arms and drug him toward the porch not caring if he got injured.

"I've got the room ready." Sam said opening the door and allowing them to enter. He closed the door behind them and quickly followed them into the room watching as they sat the demon in the chair and chained his arms down. His eyes grew wide and he sucked in a sharp breath when the guy's head rolled sideways and he recognized him.

"Wait, don't we know him?" Charlie asked as she stepped into the room to see the guy.

"Sammy?" Dean questioned when he saw the color drain from his face and he looked sick. "What's going on?"

"This guy was a friend of ours in college, Brady." Charlie answered for him when she saw Sam's reaction. "Sam sit down." she told him guiding him to a chair nearby.

"Come again?" Dean said in shock as he looked at the guy tied to the chair. "He went to college with you?"

"He introduced me to Jess." Sam said as his mind started working in overdrive and unspeakable thoughts started surfacing making him grow angry. "I need to talk to him, when will he wake up?" he growled out pushing up from the chair after a few moments and heading for Brady.

"Cool your jets Tiger." Dean said stepping in front of him and stopping him from attacking this Brady guy. He knew that look in his eyes and didn't want blood spilled yet. "Go on Sammy, he won't be waking up for a bit. You need to get yourself under control." he told him quietly not letting him step past him. Sam pushed Dean trying to get him out of the way, but Dean grabbed his arm and held him tight. "Cas, watch him." he growled before dragging Sam from the room.

"I told him he shouldn't be here." Crowley smirked once he saw Sam still knew him. Things were starting to get interesting and he wondered what other little tidbits he might uncover before this was over.

 **spn**

Sam jerked his arm out of Dean's grasp as Dean pulled him out on the porch. He stepped to the railing breathing hard as his anger built up inside of him and he wanted to let the beast out. All kind of imaginable thoughts had filled his mind of his in college time with Brady and to find out he's a demon was pushing Sam over the edge.

"Okay I get it bro, you're wondering if he was a demon back then too and if he was keeping an eye on you." Dean started knowing how his brother thought. "You gotta pull it together man...You can't let this throw you off your game. We'll get some answers and then you can roast the sonovabitch."

"I wonder..." Sam started but couldn't seem to get the words out as he growled in anger.

"Wonder what Sammy?" Dean asked softly knowing his brother felt betrayed, used, abused and mistreated.

"How long..." he said through clenched teeth. "How long was I being watched? Could everyone I knew and befriended have been a demon? How much influence did they have on me and the paths I took? It's like I never really had my own life only what was chosen for me." he whispered hoarsely as he ran his hand through his hair trying to make sense of it all.

"Look bro, those may be questions that never get answered, but look at yourself...I don't see you giving in to the dark side or going all serial killer on me. Whatever they tried to do in the past still didn't change who you are Sammy. Let it go and let's move forward, okay?" Dean said trying to reason with him. He knew this was really screwing with him and messed his mind up. "We've got two Horsemen to find and the devil to put back in a cage."

Sam closed his eyes as he fought to control the beast within him. The thoughts of people he deemed friends being demons was unspeakable and he wondered if Brady had anything to do with Jess's death. Tears sprang to his eyes when what happened to her filled his mind and swore he'd get his revenge on whoever did that to her. And now just maybe he'd get a chance to do that. Sam squared his shoulders and pushed all emotions deep, deep down so they wouldn't hinder him before turning to Dean stone faced and ready to face him.

 **spn**

"What the hell are you doing?" Dean growled at Crowley as he skillfully carved a sigil into Brady's chest.

"Keeping him trapped inside this body. Don't want him smoking out and warning anyone now do we?" he asked looking up from his handiwork.

"Cas?" Dean questioned.

"It seemed like a logical thing to do. I can wake him if you like?" he asked looking to Sam and seeing hatred and death in his eyes.

"Sam, are you alright?" Charlie asked not liking what she was seeing in him. She had never seen him this way before and she was frightened for him.

"I'm fine." he said quietly and with a hint of danger in his voice.

"There, now you can start questioning him." Crowley said stepping back to admire his work. "Have ta say, I'd made a good artist, don't you think so boys?"

"Do it Cas." Dean told him picking up the demon knife and gripping it tightly ignoring Crowley's remark.

Cas moved to Brady and pressed two fingers to his forehead and stepped back. He watched as the demon started coming to and tried to figure out where he was as he pulled on his restraints.

"Charlie, I think you need to go in the other room." Sam told her knowing she didn't need to see this side of the coin. He didn't want to frighten her anymore than she already was.

"No Sam I..."

"Sam's right, Cas take her outside." Dean agreed studying the guy as he started moaning and waking up.

"As you wish." Cas said taking Charlie's arm and leading her out of the room. He didn't like what was going to happen, but they needed answers fast.

"Where am I?" Brady asked as he shook his head and waited for his vision to clear. He looked at the three standing in front of him and smiled when his eyes landed on Sam. "Why if it isn't Sam Winchester, good to see you again. How long has it been now? I heard you were around and wondered if we'd see each other."

"How long have you possessed Brady?" Sam growled as he clenched his fists in anger. He needed to know this more than anything.

"Oh well...Let me see..." demon Brady huffed as he pretended to think on it. "I guess it was freshman year when dear old Brady went home for Thanksgiving. You know I came back a different person."

"I remember that, you started drinking, doing drugs, skipping classes..." Sam said as he pulled up those memories.

"And my best friend Sam Winchester tried to get me back on the straight and narrow. You tried to take care of me and get me to work harder when all I wanted to do was party. You just couldn't understand why I was throwing everything away now could you." he laughed loudly. "But I did do one good thing for you Sammy boy, I introduced you to Jessica. Dear sweet Jess..."

"Why?" he demanded. "Why were you watching me?"

"Oh to keep you in line and interested. It gave you a reason to want to stay there and not go running back to dear old Daddy and your brother." Brady said looking to Dean when he said it.

Dean's face clouded as he butted in wanting to get answers. "Where's Pestilence at?"

"Now why should I tell you? You can't stop what's going to happen."

"I don't have time for games." he said running the demon knife down a cheek making Brady cry out in pain.

"Tell me and it won't be as painful for you."

"Do your worse, still won't change my mind. I know my place and what's going to happen to me. I've been promised at top position when Lucifer takes over."

"Let me have a go." Crowley said stepping around him. "What's say I go visit a few colleagues and let them know just how helpful you were in finding a Horseman? You couldn't wait to spill your guts." he said with a smirk and gloating look on his face before disappearing.

"No! You can't do that!" Brady yelled knowing what that would mean to him. "You just screwed me and I'll have no where to go. Guess I'll have to settle for plan B, go to hell and claw my way back."

"What makes you think you'll be leaving here alive?" Sam questioned. "Why was Jess killed?"

"Oh sweet little Jessica..." he bragged. "I really wanted to take my time with her, but you came back early. I kind of wished I had kept her for myself instead of letting you have her. Was she a good lay there Sammy? You were thinking of asking her to marry you weren't you? Oh well we couldn't have that. She had to go 'cause you were getting weak Sammy boy. You were losing your edge. We needed to get you back in the game and what better way than to kill your girl just like your Momma. I took great pleasure in being allowed to do that..." Brady boasted but was silenced as Sam hit him so hard the chair toppled backwards to the floor.

"You're going to die for that." he yelled jerking him back up to hit him again.

"Alright, every demon around is gunning for your hide." Crowley said when he appeared straightening up his jacket and tie and wiping the dirt from his suit.

"You just condemned me to the fire!" Brady screamed at him.

"Tell us where your boss is and we'll make it quick." Dean demanded. "You're not smoking out so it's your choice who takes you out."

"Alright, alright, at least if you do it I cam come back and grab another meat suit." he huffed giving in to him. He recited an address and Crowley disappeared to check it out before they finished him.

"He's there." Crowley said when he appeared again in the room. "Now that that's done I'm gone."

"It doesn't matter; his plan is already in motion. Pretty soon the entire country is going to be the walking dead." Brady laughed harshly. "You're not going to stop him like you did the other two."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It has to do with the vaccines doesn't it?" Sam asked when he started putting the pieces together.

"The trucks should be rolling out within the next couple of hours all those poor people getting the flu and hoping the flu shots will help..." he preened. "It'll be spread nationwide in weeks and humanity will fall!" he laughed harshly.

"We'll stop the trucks, he's all yours Sammy." Dean said digging out car keys for Brady's vehicle. Charlie had found a facility that was getting ready to ship cases of the vaccine out and it was on the other side of town. He knew they had to stop those trucks from leaving and destroy the contaminated vaccine. "When you're done, head for those warehouses Charlie found."

Sam took the offered keys, nodding his understanding and waited as Dean grabbed up the weapon's bag and went in search of Cas and Charlie. He walked slowly around the chair before coming to a stop in front of demon Brady as darkness swirled and grew and needed to be released.

"Go ahead, do it, but I'll be back. I'll claw my way back out of the pit and find me another meat suit." Brady sneered not knowing what Sam was now capable of doing.

Sam laughed harshly as he released the beast within him. "Don't think that's going to be happen Brady. You see I've learned a few new tricks and where you're going you'll never be able to return to here or to hell for that matter. No, you'll be lost forever and will never be able to hurt anyone again."

"What do you mean?" he asked as fear crept into his voice.

"I'm sending you into the Empty where nothing returns from." he stated as he raised his hand and began to pull the demon's soul out and shred it slowly and painfully. "This if for Jess, she never deserved what you did to her." he growled letting the full force of the beast free.

Brady cried out and jerked on his bindings as streaks of energy raced through his body devouring his dark soul. He was diced, shredded, and ripped apart with such force his agonizing screams turned to hoarse, raw illegible sounds, but Sam didn't stop, he continued his onslaught. He wanted to make him suffer for all the evil he had done and especially for taking the love of his life away from him. He didn't stop until there wasn't a single cell of the demon left in this world. Sam huffed hard several times as he stumbled to the wall and let his body lean against it. He gave himself a few minutes to recover before looking one more time at the dead body of someone who had been a friend to him when he first got to college. He didn't deserve the pain and suffering the demon put him through and hoped he could find peace now. Sam knew without even checking that Brady's soul was not there anymore. He had been destroyed by the demon long ago and all that was left was a lifeless body. He headed out of the house and to the vehicle to head for the others and help stop the plans Pestilence had put into motion. Sam felt more alive than he had in a while and wondered if it was because he was one step closer now to stopping the devil. They had a location and things were moving forward again and another ring was in their grasp.

* * *

 **A/N: Now they have a location for another ring. Thank you to all who are taking this journey with me. I hope you are enjoying the read. Remember during this holiday season to take a moment and breathe; don't let it stress you out. Reviews are great. NC**


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Sam pulled Brady's car over to the side of the road near a gate and guardhouse. He got out and saw the gate was only opened like three feet and there was a truck on the other side of it that had been disabled. He looked toward the guardhouse and saw a red head and knew Charlie was in there. He headed that way, slipping through the partial open gate and saw someone sneaking toward Charlie. He pulled his gun and fired one shot taking the person out and making Charlie jump in surprise.

"Hey are you alright?" Sam asked as he checked out the area for any other hostiles.

"Crap Sam! You know how to make an entrance." Charlie cried out as she clutched her chest and tried to slow her pounding heart.

"Where are the others?" he asked.

"They went inside to get any workers out and open the gas valves. I'm programming the system to overload and blow the place up along with all the vaccine inside. We don't want any of it getting out and starting a zombie epidemic." she explained as she went back to quickly typing on a keyboard. "I just need to find the main control panel..." she mumbled to herself quickly reading the programming lines on the screen.

"Are you okay here?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I'm almost done."

"I'm going to help the others." he said heading back out and toward the structure where other trucks were parked to load up. After spotting some open doors, Sam moved that way, his gun ready to use if needed. He heard voices crying out inside and saw people running for the emergency exits and heard gun shots echo inside. Sam moved quickly toward the gun shots and Dean pushing workers toward an exit while guarding their backs.

"Watch yourself, some asshole infected some workers and turned them." Dean told him when he saw Sam making his way toward him.

"Met one." Sam said swinging his gun back and forth looking for danger. "Where's Cas?"

"Getting a couple of groups out of here. These should be the last." he replied. "I've set all the lines to overload, let's get the hell out of here."

"Lead the way." Sam nodded following his brother and watching his back. He heard growling and moaning up ahead and turned that way as Dean opened fire taking out two of the infected that were blocking their path.

Sam looked at the change in the workers and grimaced thinking about what would have happened if this contaminated vaccine had gotten out into the world. It would only have taken one vial being given to a person and the virus would of spread overnight, one person infecting god knows how many others and it would move across the country in days, weeks and probably around the world in a month or less.

They hurried outside and Dean stopped at the trucks in the loading docks and popped the gas caps so he could stuff a rag in it and lit it. He wasn't taken any chance any of the boxes got out of here in one piece. Cas motioned for them to get out of there. They headed for him and the front gate to meet up with Charlie.

"I've got everything to blow in one minute." Charlie told them pushing them toward the partly opened gate. "I smashed the computer so no one can stop it."

"Good, alright everyone lets get out of here." Dean told them. He stopped just outside the gate and looked back at the truck they had stopped and pulled his gun back out and aimed at the gas tank and fired one shot. He ducked behind the brick wall as the truck exploded sending a blaze of flames and smoke skyward. Dean hurried toward the others wanting to get out of there before the fire department showed up. He looked back over his shoulder when a series of explosions went off inside the warehouse setting the place on fire.

"Nice fireworks." Charlie commented as she stood by the Impala for a moment watching the flames shoot upward sending ash and sparks into the night sky.

They got in the Impala and Dean pulled away from the warehouse heading out of town. He was going to find a motel for the night and send Cas ahead to check the location demon Brady had given them to see if Pestilence was there. If so, they would need to work out a plan to get his ring. He planned on sending a text to Bobby where they would be and if he was available to meet them there. If not they would meet back up at the salvage yard with hopefully the third ring.

 **spn**

Cas appeared in the room that Dean got for them and heard the shower running so he knew Dean was in there. Dean had gotten another room for Sam and Charlie to share a few doors down from theirs. He took a seat at the table to wait for him to finish to relay the information he had found out. He looked at the laptop sitting on the table and went online and typed in, Serenity Valley Convalesce Home to see what kind of response he would get. Pestilence couldn't have picked a more perfect hide out among the sick and elderly the ply his disease. Cas looked up when Dean stepped from the room towel drying his hair, dressed in sleep clothes.

"So, what did you find?" Dean asked tossing the towel back into the bathroom.

"I am sure he is there. There were demons around the place and possessing some of the staff. I could feel his presence inside."

"Nursing home ummm...Guess it's as good a place as any to hide out. We'll get an early start in the morning so that should put us there around lunchtime. We'll scope the place out and go in after second shift comes on and hopefully less people there."

"We'll have to deal with the demon guards before we can get in."

"I think that can be handled. Cas, how is Sammy really doing?" Dean asked him.

"The extra grace has taken care of the withdrawals and he does seem to be stronger now." Cas said trying to be vague. He wasn't sure Dean knew that the grace was changing him and didn't want to break Sam's trust.

"Do you think he can defeat Lucifer without sacrificing himself? Is there anything we can use against him to bind him or control him long enough to get him through the opening and into the cage?"

"He is strong being an archangel, but there might be a sigil or spell we could use to stop him long enough to force him through. I can go research it while you sleep and return in the morning."

"Yeah, you do that. We need all the help we can get. I don't want to lose Sammy like that. I couldn't imagine what Lucifer would do to him if he was trapped with him, it can't happen." Dean pleaded looking at Cas with pain filled eyes. "We've got to find a way."

"I will do my best." he said getting up and disappearing from the room leaving Dean alone with his concerns and worries. He hoped Cas could find something to help them because he wasn't let Sammy sacrifice himself. If it came down to it, he planned on doing it himself before letting his little brother. Dean sighed and got up going to the bed and turning it down so he could climb in and settle down under the covers hoping sleep would not evade him. He stared up at the ceiling trying to empty his mind of all the worries and concerns as he forced his eyes closed and took slow, even breaths. The unfamiliar noises of the motel played around the outskirts of his mind as he slipped under the realm of sleep.

 **spn**

The dimly lit motel room was quiet as Sam and Charlie slept. It was early in the morning when Sam began to twitch and moan out in his sleep. He jerked his head back and forth like he was trying to throw something off of it. Sam jerked awake and looked around finding he wasn't in the motel room anymore. He slowly turned in a circle taking in the surroundings of a cemetery. The day was so dark with grey rolling clouds it almost looked like night.

"Sam!" a male voice said to him from behind making him turn quickly to see the man Lucifer was possessing walking toward him. "You are a hard person to find and talk to."

"I'm dreaming aren't I?" Sam asked stepping back slightly as he neared him.

"Of course, I can't find you, but I can visit your dreams." he smirked seeing how this bothered him.

"What do you want?" he growled at him trying not to show any fear.

"I wanted to thank you for freeing me and to offer you a chance to do the right thing and join me. You know you're my true vessel and this one is starting to wear thin." he said rubbing his face where the skin was starting to peel away. "There is so much we can do, you would want for nothing."

"No! Never!" Sam spat at him standing taller. He didn't think Lucifer could hurt him in his dream, but it was still chilling.

"Oh I think you'll change your mind. I know you and your brother are looking for me and I'd hate for something to happen to him..."

"Leave my brother alone." he stated as the rage and anger began to build in him.

"I think I'll be seeing you soon Sam, maybe by then you'll have changed your mind..."

"Sam! Sam! Wake up!" Charlie called to him shaking his shoulders hard.

Sam jerked up in bed gasping hard and knocking Charlie from the bed to the floor. He panted as the memory of the dream filled his mind.

"Are you okay?" she asked picking herself up from the floor and looking at him cautiously. "You were crying out and yelling at someone in your sleep." she continued. "That must of been some hell of a nightmare."

"Sorry Charlie." Sam finally managed to say as he worked on calming down so he could think straight.

"Do I need to get Dean?" she asked getting up to go out.

"No!" Sam said quickly stopping her from leaving.

They both turned when soft knocking got their attention.

"I'll see who it is." she said picking up her gun and going to the door. She peeked out the peep hole and saw Castiel standing outside waiting to be let in. "Hey." she said opening the door and letting him in.

"Sam what is wrong?" he asked going to Sam and sitting on his bed. "I felt your distress."

"It's nothing Cas." he said looking away hoping he couldn't see into his mind and know what had happened.

"He had a nightmare." Charlie told him, giving Sam a bitch look right back to the one he gave her. "He was crying out in his sleep."

"What was it Sam? Should I get Dean?"

"No, don't...Please...Don't tell him..." Sam begged not wanting to disturb Dean because of a nightmare. "I'm fine now."

Cas studied Sam for a moment before speaking. "Alright, but I will stay and keep any further ones out of your mind." he said. "You can lie back down and rest Sam."

"I don't think I can." he mumbled not wanting to close his eyes to sleep again for fear Lucifer would invade them.

"Should I get Dean up so we can get ready to leave?" Cas asked thinking they might as well leave if no one was getting any more sleep.

"I need to take a shower." Sam said throwing back the covers. "Wait to wake Dean. Let him sleep as long as he can."

Several hard knocks startled Charlie and Sam who looked to the door again. Charlie went to it and opened it allowing Dean to step inside.

"You guys having a party without me?" he asked looking around suspiciously at the three guilty looking faces in the room.

* * *

 **A/N: They know where Pestilence is at and will be going after the ring. Thank you to all for the support for this story. Reviews do make my day. NC**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: The brothers take on Pestilence. Hope you enjoy the read and thank you to all who are reading this story. I do like reviews if you can leave me one. Enjoy...NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 40**

None of the three knew what to say as they stared at Dean for a moment before looking away. Charlie and Cas wanted to respect Sam's wishes and not tell Dean about the nightmare. Dean frowned because he knew something was going on and no one was talking.

"I was going to get a shower so we could go ahead and leave." Sam finally stammered out quickly.

"Well since we're all up might as well get ready to head out." he agreed. "I'll go pack and you guys come on down to my room when you're ready."

"Shall I go find some breakfast food?" Cas asked wanting to be useful and break up the tension that was floating around in the room.

"Sure Cas, we can eat in my room." Dean told him going to the door to head out. He paused for a moment and looked back at Sam to be sure he was okay before stepping out.

Cas disappeared to find food and Sam got up to take a shower. Charlie shook her head in disbelief. It still amazed her that Cas could do that. After this was over with, she wanted to sit down and see if he would answer some questions she had. She busied herself with changing clothes and packing her bag so she'd be ready when Sam got out of the shower.

"Sam..." she called through the bathroom door.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going on down to Dean's room, so come on down when you're ready."

"Alright, I won't be too long."

Charlie picked up her bags and let herself out heading down a couple of doors and knocking. She waited for Dean to answer and stepped inside when he held the door opened.

"Sam's still taking a shower. Thought I'd give him a little privacy." she commented sitting her bags on a bed before sitting on it too. She looked to the television that was on with the volume turned down low so not to disturb anyone else in the rooms beside them.

"Red, what's going on with Sammy?" Dean asked sitting on the other bed and facing her. "I know there was something from the looks on your faces."

"I can't say, you need to ask Sam." she said knowing it wasn't her place to tell him. She wasn't going to break Sam's trust and tattle to his brother.

"Is it harmful to him?"

"Not really, just upsetting to him and I really don't know all of it." she said trying to be vague. "Please, don't ask me anymore questions I can't answer."

"Fine, I understand your loyalty to my brother and I respect it. You've been a good friend to him."

"Thanks." she said eyeing Dean with interest. It looked like he could be a good guy after all if given a chance. "I know you want to protect him Dean, but Sam is an adult, let him grow up. Stand by him not in front of him. Let him make his own way, just be there when he needs you."

"I get what you're saying Red, but I've watched out for him since he was born so it'll be hard to break old habits. Listen, when we go in to find Pestilence I need you to stay outside where you'll be safe."

"So you're trying to tell me what to do now?" she bristled, giving him a hard look.

"No, it's not like that. You've not had enough experience to face off against demons and you're not tatted up. I've been doing this my whole life and Sammy most of his so we know what to do and expect." he said trying to be patient with her.

"What? Tatted?"

"You need to be tattooed." Dean said pulling his tee shirt down where she could see his tat. "Anti-possession, keeps demons from possessing you."

"Cool..." she said standing on her tiptoes to study it. "My first stop after this is over." she said pulling out her cell to take a picture of it.

"I need you to be backup if things go south. I'll give you the names of other hunters you can contact and tell them what you know. They'll keep you safe. If something happens to us...Well someone else needs to pick up the ball."

"Let's not talk that way. We're going to do this so we need to be positive." she insisted. "You gotta believe in your brother. Don't let him see any doubt or it will throw him."

"You're pretty smart for one so young."

"I do a lot of reading. Besides, I've had to take care of myself since I was ten so I had to believe in me and that I could teach myself what I needed to know. I didn't have anyone I could depend on like Sam does."

"I'd say you did pretty good."

"I have food." Cas said after he appeared in the kitchen with two bags stopping their conversation.

"Does he always do that?" Charlie mumbled jumping slightly with his return. "It's kind of creepy." she whispered looking back at Cas.

"Pretty much." Dean chuckled. "You get used to it after a while."

"I can hear you, celestial being." Cas comment as he took wrapped sandwiches from the bags.

"Whoops I'm bad." Charlie shrugged. "Sorry Castiel, it just takes a little getting used to."

"It's fine I have that affect on people."

"I'll get the coffee going." Dean said stepping to the coffee pot and taking it so he could fill it with water. He poured the water into the compartment and opened one of the all in one coffee filters and dropped it into the container. Once he was done, Dean turned it on and made sure it was perking before turning to see what Cas had got for breakfast. A knock came at the door and he stepped over to open it allowing Sam to come in with his bags.

"Good, you timed it right, foods here." Dean told him looking Sam over and noticed he wouldn't look him in the eye. Yep, he was definitely hiding something, Dean thought.

 **spn**

Dean parked the Impala a block from the convalesce home and they got out to walk the rest of the way. Charlie begrudgingly stayed behind like Dean asked. They stopped at the end of an alley and stared at Serenity Valley Convalescent Home. People were coming and going and milling around outside the place.

"The gardener and the guy sitting on the bench are demons." Cas commented.

"I can tell." Sam mumbled as he let his eyes roam over the others around the place not noticing Dean give him a frowned look. He spotted one more that was a nurse pushing a patient out the door.

"Guess we need to get rid of the guards to get to the Horseman." Dean said. "Let's work our way around to the back and go in that way. You know what to do Cas?"

"Yes, once you break the sigils keeping me out I wait for you to pray for me and I'll take the ring." he spouted not liking he couldn't go in with them but sigils against angels kept him out.

"Let's do this." Dean said moving back down the alley so they could get back behind the nursing home and go in the back.

Cas stopped when he felt the power of the sigils cause him pain and hung back hoping the brothers wouldn't run into too much trouble before he could get in there. He paced back and forth, a nervous habit he picked up from Dean and watched for trouble.

 **spn**

The brothers quietly made their way to the loading docks in the back and took out two demons along the way. They hid the bodies and moved on to the door where Sam picked the lock to let them in. Dean moved in first with gun ready, sweeping the area before letting Sam in. He didn't see the bitch face Sam gave him and moved to his side instead of behind him not liking Dean trying to protect him.

"Sammy..." Dean whispered nodding to a sigil on the wall that blended in with the decor.

Sam looked the same way Dean was looking and saw it. He moved to the wall and took out a knife to scrape through it to destroy its effects. He wasn't sure how many more they would have to take out before Cas was able to get in but hoped it would be enough. He knew they were going to need his help for their plan to work. Sam joined back up with Dean and they made their way deeper into the building.

"Where is everyone?" Sam questioned softly as they moved on into a wing with patient rooms. He glanced in to several of the room to see patients in beds watching television or sleeping. What was strange was he didn't see any staff to take care of them.

"I don't know." Dean said wondering the same thing.

After rounding a corner, they saw bodies scattered down the hall and behind the nurse's station.

"Guess this answers the question." Sam commented looking down the hall. He saw another sigil and stopped long enough to scrap enough paint away to break it. He stiffened when suddenly a weird feeling came over him and he knew that Pestilence was here and somewhere down this hall.

"What Sammy?" Dean asked when he saw his body language change.

"He's here." Sam stated in a strong voice. "Maybe you should stay here Dean."

"Not likely." Dean growled, insulted that he would even say it.

They moved together down the hall, stepping over the dead bodies in their wake. Dean cleared his throat when it started to tickle, trying to suppress the couch that wanted to come out. Sam shook his head when he felt a slight pain in his head like a buzzing. The closer they got to the end room, the more they were affected. Dean started to cough and gag slightly as he felt his body flush with a fever. Sam coughed a couple of times but not like Dean and thought he wasn't being affected like him. He saw another sigil and broke it while leaning against the wall long enough to get his breath before moving to the door of the last room.

Dean fell through the door and to the floor as he cried out in pain and coughed up blood. He looked up with squinted eyes and saw an older man sitting on the bed and a nurse standing to the side. Sam stumbled in but kept to his feet and looked over at Pestilence.

"Well, well, the Winchester brothers." he sneered looking over at them as he wiped his hands on a towel. "Let's see what else should I give you, cancer? The clap?" he asked waving his hand their way. "I want you to suffer after what you did to my brothers!"

"We're taking you out." Sam winced out as he fought the effects of being so close to Pestilence. He coughed hard and tasted blood in his mouth and spit it to the side. Sam raised his hand and concentrated on the Horseman's soul trying to rip it apart. He saw the Horseman finch slightly and then look at him with defiance and gloating.

"You are strong, but I'm a Horseman Winchester, you can't hurt me." he laughed at his attempt to stop him.

"Dean! The wall!" Sam yelled at him when he saw the sigil.

Dean turned his head and raised his gun to fire at it ripping it apart. Pestilence snapped his fingers and Dean cried out in agony as the gun fell from his hand and he clutched his stomach when sharp pain ripped through him almost tearing his insides apart.

"Cas now!" Sam prayed hoping they had taken out enough that he could get in.

Before Pestilence could lower his hand, Castiel appeared beside him and in one swift motion sliced his hand off with his angel blade rendering him harmless.

"No! No! You can't do this..." he screamed clutching his injured arm to his chest. "Doesn't matter, you're too late. My plan will continue without me."

"No it won't, we already stopped the trucks from going out and destroyed all the vaccine." Sam said as he straightened up now that the effects were gone. He reached down and helped Dean to his feet before stepping over to pick up the severed hand and take the ring.

"You will pay for this Winchesters." Pestilence swore before disappearing.

Castiel grabbed the demon and destroyed it before it could smoke out of the body it was possessing. He let the body drop to the floor and looked over at the brothers to be sure they were okay. Dean spit blood from his mouth and wiped his sleeve across it before speaking.

"I'll take that Sammy." Dean said holding his hand out for the ring.

"No." Sam stated as he stuffed it in his jeans pocket and turned to leave without further conversation. This time he was standing up to his brother and not giving in.

Dean stared at him in disbelief for a moment before swearing under his breath and following his brother. Cas trailed along behind him knowing better than to intercede this time. He knew they would have to work this out themselves and hoped they would be reasonable about it. They made their way back to the Impala and an impatient Charlie who got out when she saw them coming and frowned when she saw the blood on the brother's clothes but didn't see any injuries.

"Dudes! Are you two okay?" she asked grabbing Sam and making him stop to look him over for wounds.

"Yeah Charlie, Pestilence's handiwork." Sam assured her.

"Did you get it?" she asked expectantly up into his face.

" **I** did." Sam said casting a quick glance at his brother who had a sour look on his face as he dropped into the driver's seat.

"Something tells me things aren't kosher with your brother. He trying to control everything again?" she questioned.

"Something like that, but it'll be okay. Get in and let's get out of here." he told her opening the back door so she could get in.

Castiel got in back with her while Sam took shotgun, his usual spot. Charlie looked at Castiel with a questioning look but he just shrugged at her not wanting to express his thoughts where Dean and Sam could hear. She leaned closer to him and whispered quietly in his ear, "We'll talk later." He nodded without speaking, not wanting to be the one to break the tense silence in the car.

Dean pulled back onto the road and headed out of town toward the interstate to head back to Sioux Falls. Now there was only one ring left and he was afraid it was going to be hardest one of the all, Death. He wasn't sure how to take this new side of Sam and thought back on what Charlie had told him and knew she was right. He did need to let his little brother grow up and make his own decisions. He glanced sideways at his brother and wondered why he never saw it before. His brother was one strong, determined, stubborn, adult who was trying to clean up the mess he had made. One thing he knew, he was not going to let Sam do it alone. He would be right there fighting by his side.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Dean unlocked the door and stepped into a dark house. He figured Bobby was still with Rufus helping on a hunt and flipped on a couple of lights so they could see. It was after two and he still felt like he was driving. He drove all the way since he didn't take Sam up on his offer to drive. Sam was rousing Charlie from the back seat and guided her inside and to the stairs telling her to go on to bed. She mumbled something and with a wave of her hand made her way up the steps and disappeared into the spare bedroom.

"Would you like some coffee?" Cas asked Dean when he saw he wasn't heading for bed.

"No, I think a beer might do the trick." he replied going to the fridge and pulling three out. He held one up to his brother and tossed it his way watching him almost miss it as he fumbled trying to get a good hold on the bottle. That told him what he needed to know. Sam still wasn't completely a hundred percent. "Cas." he said sitting a beer at the table for him. He dropped into a chair an opened his beer to take along swallow hoping to rid his mouth of the after taste of blood.

Sam sat down across from him and sipped slowly on his beer knowing Dean wanted to say something, but he was remaining quiet. He let his hand brush against the ring in his pocket thinking only one more and he would have the key to opening up the Cage. Sam was lost in his thoughts and didn't hear the question Dean asked until he threw his beer cap at him smacking him in the cheek.

"Hey!" Sam said, looking up and frowning at Dean.

"Did you hear my question?" Dean asked.

"Sorry, no." he admitted casting his eyes downwards as he felt his cheeks get warm. "What did you ask?"

"Cas thinks he knows where Lucifer is going to raise Death. I was saying he could go there and observe and see if he can determine where Death is going. We've got to get to him when he's not with Lucifer."

"I don't think it will be as easy to get his ring as the other three. He is Death." Sam noted not sure how they were going to proceed without Death killing them.

"I think we should talk to Crowley. He may know something we don't." Cas offered, not liking it, but they needed all the help they could get right now.

"Why don't you let me have the ring so they'll all be together?" Dean asked giving Sam a stern look.

"I could say the same thing." Sam replied a rebellious look on his face and one that said no way.

Dean's eyes darkened slightly from his rebuff as he clenched his jaw so he wouldn't say something he would regret. He had expected the response, but had to at least try. "I'm heading for bed." Dean grunted not wanting this to turn into a fight. He finished his beer and tossed the empty into the recycle bin before heading for the stairs.

 **spn**

Sam remained at the table peeling the label off his beer bottle knowing Dean wasn't happy with him but he wasn't giving up the ring. He could feel Cas looking at him but kept his eyes cast downward.

"Cas can I ask you something?" Sam finally asked.

"Of course Sam."

"I know you couldn't heal me, but could you like look and see if something is still wrong in my head?" he asked finally looking up at him.

"I could try. Is there something wrong?"

"Dean told me about zoning out and I wanted to know if it was physical or something else."

"Alright." Cas said getting up to stand behind Sam. "Just relax." he said placing his hands around Sam's head. Cas concentrated as he tried to probe Sam's brain for injury. He turned his head slightly and then stepped back to take a seat again.

"Well?" Sam asked anxiously.

"I couldn't detect anything wrong Sam. It seems the grace has repaired any damaged that you had."

"I didn't think it would be that easy." he sighed with disappointment.

"Maybe it won't happen again." Cas offered. "You were not aware of it happening?"

"I can only hope. I kind of know something happens but its like a switch is flipped off and things go blank. That's the best way to describe it. I wasn't sure anything was happening until Dean told me." he said not really sure how to explain it. "Guess I should head up too. Good night Cas and thanks."

"Good night Sam." Cas replied watching him leave and head upstairs. He knew Sam was worried and wished he could have helped him but it wasn't meant to be. He decided to check out the place the angel told him about to see if Lucifer was there and what he was doing. Cas knew any information he could gather would help them when it came time to confront him. Cas disappeared with a soft wisp and displacement of air leaving the house quiet except of the occasional creak and groan of it settling for the night.

 **spn**

The next morning dawned with clouds low on the horizon. A storm was coming and the air was heavy with the scent of rain. The house was quiet since none of the occupants were awake, all deciding to sleep in after the late night. Soft rumbling could be heard in the distance as the storm made its way toward them. By the time anyone started stirring, cold rain was pelting down, turning the landscape into a wet, grey, inhospitable climate.

The youngest Winchester stirred from his sleep long enough to hear the storm outside and rolled over to bury deeper under the covers deciding it wouldn't hurt to get a little more sleep. He let his mind drift when suddenly a voice called out to him making him jerk in his sleep.

"Sam I know you're there. We should talk." Lucifer's smooth voice crooned to him. "You know I'll find you eventually. You can't hide forever. It's almost time and I could really use my true vessel..."

Sam tossed and grunted in his sleep as he fought to get away. "No! Never! I'll never say yes to you!" he growled with as much anger as he could muster.

"Now don't be that way Sam. We could do such great things together."

"No!" Sam yelled out loud as he sat up quickly in bed looking for the devil.

"S'my...so'thin' wron'" Dean slurred still half asleep as he rolled over to stare at his brother with sleep heavy eyes.

"It's nothing, go back to sleep." Sam said quietly as he worked on slowing his racing heart and heavy breathing. He didn't want to tell Dean Lucifer was visiting his dreams and urging him to say yes.

"'ky." he mumbled burying back into the covers and going back to sleep. If he had been more alert, Dean would have questioned his brother until he found out what was going on with him.

Sam knew there was no more sleep for him so he quietly got up grabbing clothes and going to the bathroom to change. He splashed cold water on his face to wake himself up and chase away the nightmare. After changing and finishing up, he headed downstairs to the kitchen to start some coffee. A loud crack of thunder struck nearby and Sam looked out the window as lightening arched across the sky and the rain got heavier, beating down on everything outside. He was glad they didn't have any plans to be outside in it as thunder shook the house.

"Man, I was going to sleep longer, but this storm is really loud." Charlie complained as she joined him.

"I know, it's really coming down out there. Coffee'll be ready in a minute."

"Good, I don't function until I've had my caffeine fix." she said yawning and sighing loudly. "Everything alright Sam? You seem distracted."

"It's nothing." Sam said pushing the thoughts of the dream aside and turning to the fridge to see what was in there for breakfast. He pulled out a yogurt and offered one to Charlie.

"Thanks." she said taking it and sitting at the table. "You know you can talk to me about anything that's on your mind. Whatever you say will stay between us."

A clap of thunder had them both looking toward the window when a streak of lightening lit up the early morning skies. Sam poured two coffees and joined her at the table.

"Thanks Charlie, you're a good friend to have."

"You know I'll always have your back." she said clasping his hand and squeezing it gently. "I don't think we'll be venturing out any time soon unless this storm moves out of here."

"It's probably for the best. It'll give us a day to rest up before we focus on finding Death and figuring out how to get his ring without getting one of us killed."

"You know Sam, he is Death, the Death, can he even be killed?" Charlie asked sipping on her coffee as she mulled over her thoughts.

"I don't know but I think he is the most powerful of the Horsemen and one we need to be careful of. I don't think it'll be as easy as the other three."

"Where's Castiel at?"

"I'm not sure. He doesn't sleep so he could be anywhere."

"That's an interesting fact. He has no need for human things since he's an angel right?"

"Pretty much. He can eat and drink if he wants to but doesn't need it to survive."

"And he can transport himself to travel. Wow that alone makes him one super cool dude."

"Thank you." Castiel said as he stepped into the kitchen and heard Charlie's remark.

Charlie jumped when he startled her and looked sideways at him. "You need a bell around your neck." she said as serious as she could.

Sam was sipping coffee and sputtered with the remark making coffee go down the wrong way sending him into a bout of coughing. He wheezed and choked for a moment until he could breath again.

"Are you okay Sam?" Charlie asked in concern as Sam wiped his eyes and face and worked on breathing.

"Y'h..." he choked out as he cleared his throat and tried to control the urge to laugh picturing Cas with a silver bell hanging around his neck.

* * *

 **A/N: Only one ring to go. We will be meeting Death soon. Thank you for taking this journey with me and thank you for any guests who have left me reviews that I can't personally thank. I do like to hear from you. Please review. NC**


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

The three were sitting around the table talking quietly when Dean made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Three sets of eyes turned toward him for a moment as he headed for the coffee pot and poured a cup. He looked out the window at the sheets of rain pounding the world outside and listened to the thunder for a moment before joining them at the table.

"What's going on?" he asked since they all became quiet when he walked into the room.

"Nothing, Charlie was asking Cas some questions about being an angel." Sam shrugged trying to act normal and not worried about their last target.

"He was telling me about the time you took him to a brothel to get laid." Charlie said matter of fact like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

Dean choked for a moment on his coffee and looked suspiciously at Cas and his brother not sure how that ever came up in conversation. He cleared his throat before speaking. "Let's say it didn't go as planned."

"I could see that if Cas told the girl she had ' _Daddy issues'_." Charlie giggled using her fingers to make air quotes on the last two words. "It sounds like Cas had a lot to learn about humans."

"I am still learning." Cas commented. "But I still don't understand the pizza guy in that movie..." he started but was stopped quickly by Dean who knew this was not a conversation they needed to have, especially in the company of a female.

"Woe! Woe! Not something we discuss in mixed company dude." Dean interrupted him before it got really awkward. "We need to talk about Death." he said wanting to change the subject before it got out of hand.

Sam frowned for a moment as he tried to recall what Cas was talking about and it dawned on him and he couldn't help but snicker with the memory. Charlie looked on slightly confused by what was going on since she didn't know the full story.

"I have been to the town where Zione said Lucifer would be and there is demon activity there. I plan on returning later today to see if he shows and see what I can learn." Cas said.

"Good I should go with you." Dean offered.

"It would be easier for me to move around alone Dean. I have to conceal myself from my brother so he won't know I'm spying on him."

"Well, okay then. Guess that means we'll stay here and do research on Death then." he huffed not looking forward to a day with his nose stuck in lore books.

"Has Bobby checked in?" Sam asked.

"Called before I came down. Said he should be heading back home tomorrow. The hunt got a little complicated when some asshole tried to interfere." Dean said and then looked at Charlie. "Sorry Red, excuse the language."

"I've heard worse and said worse, so no harm." she replied with a shrug.

"Might as well get started. C'mon Charlie let's see what books we can find that might help us." Sam sighed getting up and putting his cup in the sink. He headed for Bobby's office with Charlie close behind him to start going through his stacks of book.

"After you get back, we'll summon Crowley and see if he knows anything about Death's whereabouts." Dean told Cas once the others had left.

"If we must." Cas stated not liking having to use the demon for help. "I will be back as soon as I can." he said vanishing in the blink of an eye.

 **spn**

Dean slammed the book he was reading shut and grunted in disgust as he leaned back and rubbed his scratchy eyes. "I gotta have a break." he complained getting up and stretching as he headed for the kitchen to get something to drink. It was already starting to get dark outside and they had pretty much missed lunch. Charlie had thrown together some snacks for them to munch on while they continued their search. He couldn't believe they had been at this nearly all day and knew he wasn't going to be able to sit still for much more of it.

"You find anything of interest?" Sam asked Charlie as he closed the tome he had been searching through.

"Not really. I mean I found some references to Death but nothing that will help us." she said opening up another dusty book she had found stuck back in the corner of a bookcase. She was blown away with all the information she was learning from Bobby's extensive collection of books. Charlie never dreamed that her LARPing had a real component behind it and wondered would she be brave enough to see the real deals. What she was doing now was unbelievable and scared the crap out of her but she wasn't backing down. She planned on seeing it through to the end no matter what that turned out to be.

"You guys want something to drink?" Dean called from the kitchen.

"Sure." they both called back deciding to take advantage of his halfway good mood.

Dean strolled back into the room with bottles of water and sat them near each. He dropped back into his seat and looked in disgust at yet another book waiting to be scanned for anything that might help them.

"How do you think Cas is doing?" Sam asked looking up from his book and at the clock. The angel had been gone for a while now and Sam was starting to worry.

"I'm sure he's okay. I don't think he'll be careless and let himself get caught." Dean surmised trying to believe his own words.

Cas was sometimes not clued in to this world and how things worked, but he had been a soldier of God so he had that going for him. He had been destroyed a number of times but was always brought back to fight by the Winchester's side and save the world. Thought he had made mistakes that almost cost the brothers their lives, they always banded together when Fate threw her worse at them.

"I hope not. I don't think Lucifer would think kindly of him spying even if he is his brother." Sam said before frowning slightly before suddenly going away again.

Dean looked over at Sam and saw that blank look in his eyes and knew it was happening again. He looked down at his watch counting the seconds until his brother came back. He didn't have to wait long before Sam coughed and blinked rapidly for a moment as he focused on Dean.

"How long?" he asked knowing this time what had happened.

"Fifteen seconds." Dean told him. "They seem to be getting shorter each time, maybe that's a good sign. Did you feel anything?"

"Something, but I couldn't hold on to it. It's like it was just out of my reach." he sighed picking up his water to sip on it.

"But you're okay now right?" Charlie asked a look of concern on her face for her friend.

"Yeah Charlie, I'm fine." Sam tried to assure her, but wouldn't look at Dean knowing he knew better. Whatever this was that was happening to him worried him. He couldn't do battle with Lucifer and have this happen because he knew he'd end up dead.

"I think I've found something here guys." she said holding up a book. "Do you know where Cas was going to look for Lucifer at?"

"He just said something about some town he was going to check out..." Dean said realizing he didn't really know where he was looking.

"Then it all fits. Lucifer has to do a ritual to raise Death to the Earth." Charlie started explaining.

"But Death's been around forever, people die all the time. Hell Sam and me have died several times."

"This is the angel of Death, the last of the Four Horsemen. He's not been on Earth since Noah's time when the Great Flood wiped out most of humanity. _He must be brought into this world at midnight at a place of great bloodshed and death."_ she read from the book. _"_ Carthage is the site of a horrid battle during the Civil War; it was called the Battle of Hell Hole. Lucifer will raise him there and unleash him on the world."

"Where exactly was this battle?" Sam asked pulling the book to him to scan the chapter.

"On a farm just outside of town that was owned by William Jasper."

"Cas if you can hear me...Charlie found something, if you're not in Carthage that is where Lucifer will be. He's raising Death on some farm that was owned by William Jasper." Dean prayed softly hoping Cas got his message and was in the right place.

"Dean...He is going to recreate the carnage in that town." Sam mumbled.

"How would he do that?" Charlie asked not able to comprehend just how evil the devil really was.

"With the townspeople." Dean said quietly not wanting to image what Lucifer was doing in that town.

"Oh god..." Charlie mumbled as what Dean said sunk in. She paled slightly and swallowed the scream that wanted to come out trying to be strong.

 **spn**

Castiel stood in the alley in the shadows and looked around the town of Carthage, letting his essence wander trying to determine what was going on. He couldn't sense anyone around and the town looked deserted. Something was definitely was going on here, but he wasn't sure what. He disappeared and moved to a different location but found the same thing. Castiel paused and cocked his head as he listened to Dean's prayer and knew this was the place. Things got real when he looked around and saw reapers starting to appear everywhere he looked. Castiel stepped from his hiding place and walked to the nearest reaper to study him. The reaper seemed to be in a trance as he started to the south out of town. As he looked at the other ones, they were all looking in the same direction and knew that was where Lucifer had to be.

He disappeared and appeared in a grove of trees surrounded by bushes and saw townspeople standing around what looked like a mound of dead bodies. They were carrying torches for light and his brother, Lucifer, was standing at the bottom of the mound. Castiel watched in horror as Lucifer snapped his fingers and the remaining townsfolk standing around dropped instantly to the ground dead. Lucifer raised his hands to the heavens and began to recite the ritual in Enochian. Clouds began to roll across the sky as lightening bounced around in the clouds and thunder sounded overhead.

The ground began to shake under Castiel's feet and he reached for a tree to steady himself. He watched as the mound shook hard and began to collapse inward taking the dead bodies with it. As the hole widened, a being began to rise from the opening, looking dark and ominous in the torchlight.

"Hel-lo Death." Lucifer drawled out with satisfaction. He had done it, he had raised the last Horseman and he was his to command.

Death looked down at the angel with disgust and would have turned him to ash where he stood, had it not been for the thin gold cord wrapped was around his neck that trailed off ending in Lucifer's hand. Lucifer had taken precautions and had bound Death to him and now he had to do as he was told no matter what he really wanted to do.

Castiel was appalled at what Lucifer was doing to the world and felt sad, a human feeling he had learned to embrace and deal with over time. He knew he had to get back to the Winchesters with this information and let them know Death was in play now. He stepped back as Lucifer and Death disappeared from the scene, leaving behind nothing but bloodshed and the dead bodies of the townsfolk. With one final look at the collapsed mound, Castiel disappeared too.

* * *

 **A/N: We now have Death in play and the last piece of the puzzle they need to open the Cage. Hope you are enjoying the journey. Thank you to any guests who have left reviews that I can't personally thank. I do like them, please leave one. NC**


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

Castiel appeared in a dimly lit living room and saw three still figures on the couch asleep. It was after midnight and he guessed they had tried to wait up for him. He hated to wake them but knew they would be more comfortable in bed.

"Dean, hey wake up." Castiel called carefully as he shook his shoulder. He had seen Dean's reaction when woken from sleep and prepared himself if he lashed out. It wouldn't hurt him, but he wasn't sure about Dean.

"Wh..." Dean slurred as he jerked and worked on waking up.

"De'n?' Sam mumbled from the other end of the couch when he felt movement and noise.

"I'm back." Cas said to the two brothers.

"What did you find?" Dean asked as he shook himself awake.

"It can wait 'til morning, why don't you go to bed?"

"I'm good, Sammy get Charlie and go on to bed." Dean told him sitting up straighter awake now.

"Let's go to the kitchen." Sam said easing Charlie from his side and letting her slide down on the couch. "I want to hear this too."

Dean got up from the couch and put Charlie's feet up on it and covered her with a throw before heading for the kitchen. Sam and Castiel followed him and took a seat at the table as Dean went to the coffee pot to start a fresh pot. He knew there would be no sleep for him until he found out what Cas had found out. He yawned and looked toward the other two to see Sam trying to suppress a yawn too and trying to wake up.

 **spn**

The two hunters and angel sat around the table nursing their cups of coffee as Castiel began to tell them what he had seen.

"He was there..." Cas started not sure he wanted to relay everything he had seen to them.

"Tell us Cas, we need to know it all." Dean encouraged him, knowing from Cas's expression that it was not going to be good.

"Lucifer had killed most of the townspeople as a sacrifice to raise Death. The town was full of reapers waiting for their master, Death." Cas said sadly as he looked at the cup of coffee in front of him. "A few were possessed by demons but he killed them in the end too. He raised Death from the bowels of the earth and bound him."

"What do you mean by that?" Sam questioned not sure why Lucifer would have to do that.

"Death is not one who obeys a lowly angel, even an archangel." Cas shrugged. "He bound him to make Death do his bidding. I don't think he was very happy about it from the look on his face. Lucifer can be rather bold and determined when he wants something. He'll do whatever it takes to see his plan succeed."

"You know that may be something in our favor." Sam noted as he brain started whirling with a thought.

"Do you know where they went?" Dean asked.

"No, as soon as he was finished they disappeared and I came back here. I don't know if he sensed me or not, but I think he did and didn't care. He knew I could do nothing to stop him."

"So how do we find Death now?" Sam asked.

"Crowley may be able to help again." Dean said getting a frown from his brother. "I know, I don't like it either, but we gotta use all the resources at hand. We only need one more ring to open the Cage." he huffed.

"Hey...What's going on?" Charlie mumbled as she shuffled into the kitchen rubbing her sleepy eyes. "Hey Cas you're back." she said realizing he was sitting at the table. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You were sleeping so deeply I didn't want to disturb you." Sam told her giving her a brief smile.

"Here you go Red." Dean said getting up and pouring a cup of coffee for her.

"Thanks Dean." she replied taking a seat beside Sam and curling her fingers around the cup and raising it to her mouth. She blew across the top of it before taking a tentative sip. Everyone was quiet until she broke it. "Tell me what I missed and don't bother sugar coating it for me. After all I've seen already, I can only imagine what Cas found out."

Cas looked at Sam not sure what to say or if he should just be quiet.

"Hey guys, I'm in this too so you might as well get used to it." Charlie stated looking at each one of them with determined eyes daring them to object. "I'm stronger than I look, I can take it."

"Might as well tell her." Dean said with a shrug seeing she wasn't going to let it go. He admired her for her spunk and willingness to go down this road with them. Not many who learned what really went on in the world would be this brave or stick around still.

"You were right with what you found. Cas found Lucifer at Carthage..." Sam started and went on to tell her what he had told them to catch her up.

 **spn**

"Guess we should try and get some rest." Dean finally said after Sam finished catching Charlie up and they sat around the table in silence. "You two head on up, I'll be up in a minute."

"C'mon Charlie." Sam whispered pushing away from the table and getting up. He draped an arm around her shoulders and they headed for the stairs and bed.

After they disappeared up the stairs out of hearing distance, Dean turned to Cas to ask, "Any way you can track Death Cas?"

"I'm not sure, I can try." he said. "Why?"

"I want to try and get Death's ring without Sammy. He's been through so much and if I can do this one thing for him...I want to. I need to do this."

"Dean, you can't shut Sam out of this." Cas cautioned him knowing how Sam would feel about what Dean wanted to do. "He's as much a part of this as you are, maybe even more. Sam would never forgive you for trying to leave him out of this fight. You can't do that to him and I think deep down you know it too."

"I know, but I'm worried about him. What if it something happens to him? After what happened when we split up...I can't let something else hurt him." Dean sighed rubbing his temples as the start of a headache began blooming. "I need to protect him."

"You need to go get some rest. Sam's getting stronger Dean; you need to let him have his chance to set this right." Cas told him getting up and pressing his fingers to Dean's forehead relieving him of his headache. "Go on, I'll search for Death and will return later in the morning."

"Alright, I guess you're right." Dean agreed knowing he needed to be at the top of his game if he was going to help Sam. He headed upstairs and went to the bathroom first before walking quietly into the bedroom he shared with his brother. He could see the mound in the other bed and heard soft breathing coming from him. Dean stripped down to his briefs and tee shirt and climbed into his bed before reaching to turn off the lamp between the beds.

"You okay Dean?" Sam asked softly as Dean settled in his bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he replied trying to sound confident in his reply. "Go to sleep Sammy."

"Nite Dee..." Sam mumbled burying deeper into his covers and letting his mind drift away.

 **spn**

Dean was cooking breakfast since he was the first one up and looked up when his cell started ringing. He brushed his hands off and went into the living room to find his coat and pulled his cell from the pocket.

"H'llo." Dean answered.

"Dean, have you been watching the news?" Bobby asked.

"No, why what's going on?" he asked going to television and turning it on. He flipped to a channel that came in clear and stepped back to listen to the newscaster as he talked about freak storms hitting in the gulf, snowstorms blanketing the northern states, tornados touching down in central states and hurricanes bearing down on both sides of the country. "You talking about all the storms?"

"Yeah, started up yesterday and seem to be getting worse."

"Lucifer raised Death." Dean told him with a huff.

"Balls!" Bobby muttered in disgust. "I'm heading home. Should be in sometime this afternoon, early evening."

"Good, I've got Cas looking for Death right now. If he finds him, we're heading out. His ring is the last one we need."

"How's yer brother doing?"

"Hanging in there. He seems a little stronger. At least he said he wouldn't take off again. I hope he meant it. He can't do this alone and we're so close now..." Dean said looking to the stairs to see Charlie and Sam making their way down them. He didn't want them to hear him talking about Sam and cut his sentence short. "They're up; I should go. We'll see you tonight probably."

"Alright son, you just take care."

"If we head out, I'll leave you a note where we're going." Dean said before hanging up.

"Who you talking to?" Sam asked.

"Bobby, he's on his way back."

"Oh my goodness, look at that storm!" Charlie exclaimed as she stopped in front of the television to watch the news report. "That whole town was destroyed."

Sam looked to Dean with a grim look on his face because he knew what was happening. Lucifer was making Death unleash his fury on the country. They knew he wanted to cause as much chaos and destruction as he could.

"I've got breakfast almost ready, we should eat." Dean told them, turning to go back into the kitchen.

"C'mon Charlie, I've seen enough." Sam told her taking her arm and steering her into the kitchen. "Where's Cas?"

"He's looking for Death."

"I got to thinking about what Cas told us last night...What if we just ask Death to borrow his ring?" Sam questioned as he poured coffees for everyone.

"You think because Lucifer has him bound that he might be willing to help us?" Charlie asked. "I don't think I would be happy to be disturbed by being raised up and then find I have a dog collar on and have to do someone else's bidding."

"You think he'd be that cooperative?"

"To be honest, I'd rather go in friendly than with guns blazing." Sam offered. "He is Death..."

"We'll see." Dean said sitting platters on the table with eggs, bacon, hash browns, cut up fruit and toast. "Dig in while it's hot."

"Looks good Dean." Charlie commented dishing some food onto her plate and passing it to Sam.

"Thanks Red." Dean replied giving her a half smile. He was still trying to figure a way to keep Sam out of this but was drawing a blank so far, other than knocking him out and tossing him in the panic room. He looked up to see Sam staring at him intently as if he knew what he was thinking and wondered if he did. He pushed aside his thoughts just in case and thought about all the storms hitting the country and all the people being affected by them. No matter what, he was going to be there for his brother, be a guiding light for him to let him know he's not a lone.

"...And I know you claim that you're alright  
But fix your eyes on me  
I guess I'm all you have  
And I swear you'll see the dawn again

Well I know I had it all on the line  
But don't just sit with folded hands and become blind  
'Cause even when there is no star in sight  
You'll always be my only guiding light...

...If we come back and we're broken  
Unworthy and ashamed  
Give us something to believe in  
And you know we'll go your way

'Cause I know I had it all on the line  
But don't just sit with folded hands and become blind  
'Cause even when there is no star in sight  
You'll always be my only guiding light..."

* * *

 **A/N: The awaited appearance of Death comes in the next chapter. I love him and what he brought to the program. I hope I have done him justice. It won't his only appearance. Thank you to everyone coming along for the journey. Thank you to any guests who have left reviews that I can't personally thank. They make my day and keep me going. Review please. NC**


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

" _Ooh death  
Whooooah death  
Won't you spare me over 'til a another year? _

_Well what is this that I can't see  
With ice cold hands taking hold of me _

_Well I am death none can excel  
I'll open the door to heaven or hell  
Whoa death someone would pray  
Could you wait to call me another day _

_The children prayed the preacher preached  
Time and mercy is out of your reach  
I'll fix your feet so you can't walk  
I'll lock your jaw so you can't talk _

_I'll close your eyes so you can't see  
This very hour come and go with me  
Death I come to take the soul  
Leave the body and leave it cold_

 _To drop the flesh up off the frame  
Dirt and worm both have a claim _

_Ooh death  
Whooooah death  
Won't you spare me over 'til a another year?..." _

The shiny, white, older Cadillac rolled slowly down the street in Chicago as the music continued to play from the radio. Winds were picking up blowing anything loose down the street and storm clouds were gathering overhead into angry balls of grey fury. People where rushing around in a panic as the news broadcast the worse storm in the century was going to hit in the next twenty-four hours. The outlook for Chicago was not looking good.

The car pulled over and parked near Rinnscila Pizzeria, who claimed to have the best pizza in Chicago. A lone figure got out and stepped to the sidewalk and began to walk toward the restaurant his cane clicking softly on the sidewalk with each step he took. None of the crowd rushing by paid him much mind only seeing a middle aged man dressed in black with shoulder length dark hair and dark eyes carrying a walking stick moving causally among them. Death seemed immune and uncaring to what was going on around him. A careless man bumped into him because he was looking at his cell and not paying attention.

"Hey! Watch where you're walking pal!" he growled back at Death in an irritated mood.

With the flick of his wrist, as he brushed his shoulder where the man touched him, the man suddenly stopped and dropped his cell as he clutched his chest for a moment before dropping to his knees and then face planted on the sidewalk. Several people finally stopped and tried to help but the man was dead before he hit the ground. Death continued to the restaurant and entered, not bother looking back at the commotion.

 **spn**

Dean and Sam stiffened for a moment when the front door opened and relaxed as Bobby stepped into the room and looked around.

"Hey Bobby." Dean said. "You made good time wasn't expecting you for another three hours."

"I think I've found where Death is going to be." he said holding up several newspapers for them to see.

"What's this?"

"Chicago is about to be wiped off the map. There's a chain of natural disasters heading that way and are going to merge over the city. Three million people are probably going to die before it's over with. I would say Death will be there to see it."

"Sounds good. Cas we know where Death is. C'mon back we need a lift." Dean prayed since Cas had not shown back up yet from his search for Death.

"I am here." Cas said appearing nearby and looking around.

"We think Death's in Chicago." Dean told him holding up the papers.

"Dean let me go alone, I can get the ring." Sam pleaded, stepping to Cas so he could take him there.

"No freaking way!" Dean spat out standing up. "You're not going anywhere alone. Let me try and get the ring. If something goes wrong, you'll still have a chance at it."

"No Dean, this is my battle more than yours. You have to let me do this." Sam demanded standing up to his brother and not backing down. He had to do this. He was the one who screwed up and their father always told them to clean up your own messes.

Dean gritted his teeth together and pressed his lips into a thin line wanting to force Sam to stay here and let him face Death, but no matter that every cell in his body was telling him to do it, he knew he had to let Sam try. He couldn't treat him like a broken little brother any longer. Sam had been through more than any one person should, and he had to let him be the strong man he was no matter what he thought.

"Fine, but I'm coming too." he finally got out, not liking any of it, but accepting now that Sam needed to do it. "Cas take us to Chicago."

"You two be careful and try to come back in one piece." Bobby told them. He knew him going wasn't going to help anything and he knew there had to be someone left to carry on to try and stop Lucifer if the boys failed. It didn't hurt any less, but he put on a brave face and gave his support.

"Tell Charlie we couldn't take her. She's in the shower." Sam said as he gripped Cas' arm and waited for him to transport them to Chicago.

"Okay Cas." Dean said grabbing his shoulder and preparing to be transported via angel mojo.

 **spn**

Sam and Dean stumbled slightly as the appeared in an alley and threw their hands up to protect their faces from the flying dust, leaves, trash and other debris the wind was tossing around them.

"He's here." Cas said looking around toward the end of the alley.

"I can feel him too." Sam mumbled once he got his balance and started walking toward the opening of the alley.

"Hey wait on me." Dean complained as he swallowed hard trying to get stomach back in its place.

"He's in that pizza place." Sam stated staring hard at the window of the place.

"Are you sure about this?" Dean asked. "I can step in no problem."

"It has to be me Dean." Sam said digging around in his pocket for a moment and holding out his hand. "If something happens..." he said holding out the ring he had.

Dean looked down at Sam's hand and saw the ring he was holding out. He looked back up into Sam's face and knew why he wanted him to take it. Without saying a word, he accepted the ring and nodded his understanding. Sam was giving them a chance if he failed. Dean couldn't say anything as his throat tightened when he saw the _good-bye_ look in Sam's eyes before he turned away from him. Dean clenched the ring hard in his hand, not carrying it was cutting into his palm. He fought back the tears but one slipped unnoticed down his cheek and he brushed it away and fought to keep the others contained.

 **spn**

Sam turned and walked across the street dodging cars and people and stopped at the door to take a deep breath reading himself, before opening it to step inside. He let his eyes adjust to the dim lighting and glanced around to see the other customers all seemed to be dead. Some were slumped in booths, others were faced planted in their pizza or laying on the table. A waitress was lying dead in the floor near doors to the kitchen. His heart began to pound harder when his eyes landed on the man sitting at a table in the middle of the room eating a slice of pizza.

"Join me Sam." he said looking up at him. "Pizza's delicious."

Sam walked slowly across the room and slipped into a chair across from Death and tried to form enough saliva to wet his dry mouth so he could speak.

"Took you long enough to find me. I've been waiting to talk to you." Death offered before taking another bite.

"Not sure how to take that?" Sam asked cautiously. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Eat." he said pointing to the pizza and waited for Sam to take a slice and eat a bite. "Good isn't it?"

Sam chewed the bite of pizza and worked on swallowing it without choking. Death pushed a drink toward him and he sipped some soda to get it to go down.

"I want the leash around my neck off!" he said forcibly. "Lucifer has me bound to him with some unseemly little spell. He has me where he wants, when he wants. That's why I couldn't go to you; I had to wait for you to catch up. He made me his weapon, hurricanes, floods, raising the dead...I'm more powerful than you can process and I'm enslaved to a bratty child having a temper tantrum. I do not like being anyone's slave, much less an egotistical archangel who wants to destroy the world. I'm old Sam, very old and I was fine being locked away until my time would come."

"How old are you?" Sam asked surprised by his words and that he seemed to be basically on their side.

"As old as God, maybe older...Neither of us can remember any more...Life-Death...Regardless, at the end I'll reap him too."

"God? You'll reap God?" Sam said in shock thinking God was invincible that nothing could kill him.

"Oh yes, God will die too." Death assured him.

"You think I can break this spell?"

"Not hardly, but I understand you need this." he said holding up his hand and showing him the ring. It was a square cut white stone set in a silver ring. It wasn't gawky or oversized like one might think. "I'll give it to you."

 **spn**

"Can you tell what's going on it there?" Dean asked trying to keep panic from his voice. He paced the alley opening looking toward the pizza restaurant wanting to rush in there but was afraid of what Death might do.

"What could they be talking about?"

"He is Death and has been locked away for a very long time." Cas shrugged. "Maybe he's chatty?"

Dean gave him a weird look not really seeing the correlation of the statement. He went back to pacing and glancing at his watch deciding to give him ten more minutes and he was going in there and hoped Death didn't smite him for interrupting.

"I'm sure he's okay Dean." Cas tried to reassure him thinking it would benefit Death to have Lucifer put back in the Cage. He didn't think he liked being Lucifer's lap dog or under anyone's control.

 **spn**

"What about Chicago? Think maybe you could let it stand?" Sam asked cautiously hoping maybe he could save the city if Death was being this generous.

"I suppose it can stay." he said thoughtfully. "I do like the pizza." he said waving his hand and the winds and clouds started to disperse outside. "There are conditions." he stated staring hard at Sam. "You have to do whatever it takes to put the devil back in the Cage."

"I plan on it." Sam said earnestly.

"Whatever it takes, promise that. If it takes you jumping in the Cage you have to do it, no matter what your brother says."

"I know." he said looking at the ring again.

"Just remember...You can't cheat Death. Now would you like the instruction manual?" Death asked slipping the ring from his finger and laying it on the table.

Sam looked at the ring, but focused on Death as he explained how the rings worked and how to open the Cage. He engraved every word Death spoke on his brain knowing he couldn't get it wrong and that they only had one shot at doing this. He was so intent on listening and absorbing each detail that he didn't realize he had stopped talking.

"And Sam..." Death said softly as he pushed his ring to him. "Remember this; a soul is a very powerful entity...Even more powerful than an archangel. Now go so I can finish my meal in peace." he said waving Sam away without another glance as he cut a bite of pizza and began to eat again.

Not wanting to press his luck, Sam got up and picked the ring up thinking it seemed cold in his hand and knowing better than to speak just nodded and turned to head back out to Cas and Dean. He didn't let the breath he was holding out until he had walked across the street and had them in sight. He could see the look of relief on his brother's face as he looked him over for any signs of injury.

 **spn**

Ten minutes seemed to take forever to pass and Dean decided he had waited long enough and started to head across the street when Sam stepped from the restaurant door. Streaks of sunlight began to shine from the sky as the clouds started to disperse and the wind died down. Sam walked quickly back across the street to Dean.

"Let's go home." he stated not elaborating further on what had happened.

Dean looked him over and didn't see any injuries, but he still thought he looked a little pale and shaken from his meeting with Death.

"Cas..." Dean nodded reaching to take his arms as Sam took the other. Within seconds they disappeared from Chicago as people started coming back out to see the storm had vanished and to take in the damage done. No one knew how close they came to being wiped off the map had it not been for a Winchester brother.

* * *

 **A/N: As a special treat. I'm posting this chapter too, Merry Christmas. Hoped you like Death and now the brothers have all four rings. We're coming down to the showdown. Who will win out? Will they be able to do it? Will they all walk away? Until next time. NC**


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Charlie jumped up from the couch when the three appeared in the living room. She hurried to Sam and punched him in the arm before complaining, "You went without me. I thought we were in this together? You could've waited on me..."

"Ow! We still are Charlie." Sam said rubbing his arm and looking perplexed at her as she ranted. "There was nothing you could've done there. I had to meet Death alone."

"Well? What happened?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest and waiting for him to respond.

"He gave me his ring." Sam said pulling it from his pocket to show her.

"Death just handed it over?" Bobby asked in disbelief. "And he didn't want anything in return?"

"He wanted us to put Lucifer back in the Cage, no matter what it takes." Sam said looking over at Dean seeing he got the meaning behind his words. "Cas was right, Lucifer has him bound and is making him do all this stuff against his will. He said and I quote, ' _I'm more powerful than you can process and I'm enslaved to a bratty child having a temper tantrum. I'm old Sam, very old and I do not like being used like someone's property.'_ He wants to be unbound from Lucifer. I mean he didn't destroy Chicago. _"_

"Then that's in our favor. Did he tell you how to use them?"

"Yes, he gave me instructions on how they worked to open the Cage."

"Well I'd say that's a win for us then. You met Death and lived to talk about it." Bobby huffed thinking they were one step closer to caging Lucifer now, but he could also be one step closer to losing a son. The moment was bittersweet for him and he could see by Dean's expression he was thinking the same thing.

"Here Dean, you hold on to it; put it with the others." Sam said offering him the ring.

"You sure?" he asked looking at it laying in the palm of Sam's hand not sure he wanted to touch it.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll teach everyone the words you have to say to open the Cage. If something happens to any of us, I'm hoping at least one of us can get it open."

"That's great!" Charlie said hugging Sam hoping this meant he wouldn't have to go jumping in with him.

"Death said something else as I was leaving...It's weird and I'm not sure what it means. He said a soul is a very powerful entity...Even more powerful than an archangel. Any thoughts on what he meant?" Sam asked looking at the others in the room.

"If you tap a human soul you can draw powerful energy from it, but it doesn't go well for the human." Cas offered.

"Maybe he's telling you what you need to defeat the devil." Charlie offered.

"I don't know, I'll check a few books out and see what I can find." Bobby said.

"Now we just need to find him and work out a plan." Dean said finally taking the ring and holding it carefully as he looked at it. The pure white stone setting seemed to glow slightly as he turned it in the light.

"For this to work it's going to take all of us combining forces and coming at him from all sides." Sam stated looking around the room at the mismatched group, three hunters, an angel and a civilian going up against a powerful celestial being.

"Cas, how 'bout taking Red on a food run while we start going over spells and incantations and see if we have what it takes to perform them?" Dean said wanting to talk to Sam and Bobby alone.

"As you wish." Cas said stepping toward Charlie who backed away.

"This time I'm driving." she said holding up her hands to stop him. "Your way may be faster, but my way doesn't leave me feeling like I wanted to puke for a day."

"Very well." Cas said following her toward the front door.

 **spn**

"What's wrong Dean?" Sam asked knowing that he wanted Charlie out of the house.

"You think you can convince Red to sit this out?" Dean asked him. "I know she wants to help and all, but I don't wanna see her getting hurt when the shit hits the fan. She's a good kid and her heart is in the right place, but she's just not trained like we are."

"I could try, but I already know it wouldn't do any good. She's in this until the end and I don't think you'll stop her unless you lock her in the panic room. And I wouldn't really advise it, knowing Charlie, she'd find a way out and then you'd catch hell from her."

"Damn, I figured as much." Dean grunted with a huff. "Okay then, let's hash this out. We have all the rings now and you know how to use them right?"

"Yes."

"So how do we get him where we want him?"

"He's been invading my dreams wanting me to say yes." Sam said looking down at the floor.

"And you're just telling me this now?" Dean asked in shock.

"I didn't want to worry you any more than you already were. I've caused you enough heartache Dean. There was nothing anyone could do to stop it unless I didn't sleep. I can deal with it, so don't dwell on it. Maybe I can lure him out by telling him I'll say yes?"

"Not going to happen." Dean stated firmly. "You said Lucifer has Death bound...If Death can be bound, why not an archangel?" he questioned a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Bobby, think we can find a spell to bind Lucifer?"

"Don't know but I bet I know who does."

"Crowley." the brothers said together.

 **spn**

"Dean wanted me out of the house didn't he?" Charlie finally asked as she turned onto the road that lead to town.

"I don't know." Cas said honestly. "I don't read their minds anymore, its not what a friend would do."

"You can read minds, awkward...Oh well...Good to know..." Charlie mumbled wondering if he had read her's.

"Do not worry, I haven't been doing that to you." he assured her.

"Thanks, I think...So what should we pick up for dinner?" she asked deciding to change the subject.

"We have to get pie, Dean likes pie."

"I got that." she laughed out loud. "What do you think? Chicken or barbecue?"

"What if we get some of both?" he suggested.

"I like how you think Cassie." she giggled liking the nickname.

Cas looked at her with a blank expression not sure whether to comment or not about his name. He knew when Dean used nicknames it meant he liked the person or was fond of that person. He did have a fondness for Sam's friend and didn't want any harm to come to her. He watched her turn on the radio and began to sing along with the song that started playing. She bobbed her head and drummed her fingers happily to the beat. Charlie was an unusual and complex person who was loyal to a fault and not afraid of much. He admired her and how she protected Sam even from his brother and that was a big deal. He remained silent as Charlie drove on into town.

 **spn**

Bobby mixed the ingredients for the spell in the brass bowl while Dean and Sam stood nearby waiting for him to drop the match into the bowl. Dark smoke billowed up toward the ceiling and they looked around waiting for Crowley to appear.

"Really boys, I was just sitting down to a delicious dinner." Crowley said complained as he sipped from the glass he was holding. "What is it now? You boys let another avenging angel loose?"

Dean scowled at him trying to control his temper and started to speak but Sam beat him to it.

"We need a binding spell for the devil." Sam spoke up.

"Is that all?" he asked in surprise. "You want to bind the devil? Are you nuts Moose?"

"Look, Lucifer has bound Death, the Death, with some forgotten spell and if we can do that to him we can get him back in the Cage. I know how to open a door to it." Sam stated.

"So you've been doing some ring gathering hey Moose?" Crowley asked knowingly.

"Can you help or not douche bag?" Dean growled at him. "The sooner we get him back in the Cage, the sooner you can take back Hell."

"You do make a good point there Squirrel." he said tilting his glass at him as he thought about it. "Very well, I will see what I can find." he said before disappearing.

"Think he'll come through?" Sam asked.

"Maybe, but in the meantime there's some books I can check." Bobby grunted pushing off from the counter to head for his office.

"Text Red and see how much longer they're going to be." Dean told Sam. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry." Sam chided pulling his cell out to send the text. He waited and a few minutes later got a reply back. Sam laughed as he read the text.

"What's so funny? Share..."

"Cas won't let her come back until they get pie." he chuckled. "He knows you so well."

"Gotta love him..." Dean smiled.

 **spn**

"Did you find pie?" Cas asked when Charlie came back out with two bags of food.

"They didn't have pie, I got cookies." she said sitting the bags in the back seat.

"We have to find pie." Cas stated in no uncertain terms. "Dean needs pie."

"Hey, don't get hostile with me. There's a bakery on the next block we can stop and get a pie." she said as her cell chimed she had a text. Charlie read it and send one back letting Sam know they would be on their way shortly once they found pie for Dean. She let him know Cas was not letting her leave without it.

"Good, Dean is much happier when he gets pie."

"So if I want to butter him up I should use pie?" she asked pulling out and driving down the street to see if she could find parking near the bakery.

"It wouldn't hurt."

 **spn**

"Dean, because we're going up against an archangel everyone needs to be warded so he can't sense your presence." Cas said looking at Dean and then at the others in the room.

"Ummm...Sure Cas how do we do that?" he asked.

"I can do it." he said stepping to Dean first and pressing a hand to his chest. A whitish glow shown around it and Dean grunted slightly before Cas stepped away and turned to Sam.

"It hurts a little." Dean said rubbing his chest and watching Cas do the same thing to Sam and then Bobby and lastly he stepped to Charlie, but hesitated, unsure where to put his hand until she grabbed it and pressed it between her breast with a huff.

"What did you do?" Sam asked as the warmth began to fade along with the tingling sensation.

"I branded your ribs in Enochian sigils so you can't be tracked or seen by demons or angels, even me." he said. "This should help keep all of you safe until you confront my brother."

"Cool." Charlie said as the tingling pain disappeared and she looked down at her chest.

"Thanks Cas, we're going to need every advantage we can get."

"I know." he said in a serious tone. "We may all be going to our death when we face Lucifer."

The others looked at each other as the words weighted heavily on all their minds. No one said anything since words could not convey what any of them felt. Charlie moved to Sam and slipped an arm around his waist and leaned into him. Sam put his arm over her shoulders wanting to give her comfort knowing she had never faced anything like this before. Not like the brothers and Bobby had as part of their job. Being new to the game, she didn't know what they were actually up against and Sam wished she would step back, but knew it wouldn't happen.

* * *

 **A/N: So they're all getting ready for the fight not knowing if any will survive. We have a surprise visitor in the next chapter that helps Sam. To all reading this story a special thank you. For everyone who left reviews I appreciate them. I hope the new year will bring you joy and happiness. NC**


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

Sam looked up as Charlie and Cas walked in the front door. He got up from the couch to follow them into the kitchen to help get the food ready.

"Foods here." Charlie called out as she set the bags on the table and began to unpack them. "Wasn't sure what to get so I got chicken and barbecue with some sides and rolls."

"I made sure she got pie." Cas said holding up the box with a satisfied look on his face.

"Thanks Cas." Dean said knowing how serious he could get at times and wanted to make him feel like part of the family.

"Smells good lass." Bobby commented as he joined them in the kitchen.

"Let's dig in." Dean told them rubbing his hands together before picking up a container and spooning some onto his plate and passing it alone.

Everyone took a seat and started passing the food around until their plates were full and began eating. Even Cas joined them sampling each item to decide what appealed to him and what didn't. They were nearly done with their meal when a loud knock sounded at the door and everyone paused, looking that way.

"I'll check." Dean said getting up and snagging a gun from a bookshelf before going to the door. He stopped when he saw an envelope had been slid under the door and picked it up. He opened it and pulled out a yellowed, ragged piece of parchment that had writing on it. "Looks like Crowley came through." Dean called as he headed back to the others. "What do you think Bobby?"

Bobby took the parchment and looked at it carefully before nodding in agreement. "This is a binding spell alright. Let's hope it works on an archangel."

"After we finish, we need to decide how to find Lucifer or lure him some place isolated where no one else gets hurt." Dean commented as he sliced a piece of pie for himself.

"You could offer everyone else pie Dean." Sam chastised him when he sat down.

"Hey it's every man for himself around here." he replied forking a large bite of pie into his mouth and moaning in contentment.

"Sometimes I wonder how we're even related." Sam grunted rolling his eyes at his brother.

"Pure luck." Dean shrugged getting a giggle from Charlie and an unsure frown from Cas who wasn't sure he understood the meaning of the joke.

"You keep thinking that."

 **spn**

The lamp left on in the living room cast the downstairs in lengthy shadows. The wind whistled under the eaves making the house creak and moan in the night. None of the people sleeping were disturbed by the settling and noises being made since they had learned the sounds and let them lull them to sleep each night.

A lone figure moved silently through the house, disappearing and reappearing in the bedroom used by the brothers. He could make out their sleeping forms by the nightlight in the hall, but didn't really need it since he could see fine in the darkness. He moved like a ghost in the night and stepped to the bed of the oldest brother who shifted in his sleep like he knew he wasn't alone and stared to stir until the shadow laid two fingers to his forehead sending him deeper into sleep so he wouldn't interfere with what he needed to do.

"You guys really know how to step in it don't you?" he mumbled to the youngest before sending he into a deeper sleep too. "Releasing my brother from the cage tops it all. I was going to stay out of this but I know what Lucy has planned and I don't like it. He always was an arrogant bastard. If you have any chance of defeating him Sam, you're going to need a little pick me up from yours truly. My brother's grace is not going to be enough for you to do that. There might be a few side effects since this has not been tested on a human, but I'm sure you can handle it." Gabriel pulled a syringe from his pocket that was full of glowing archangel grace. He leaned over and moved the covers revealing Sam's neck and started to inject it when a voice spoke behind him.

"Is something wrong?" Charlie asked sleepily when she saw someone in the guy's bedroom. She had gone to the bathroom and was coming back out when she noticed movement in the room thinking maybe it was Cas, but the person did look slightly shorter in statue.

"You're dreaming, go on back to bed." Gabriel whispered with a wave of his hand making Charlie move on down to her bedroom and go back to bed. He turned back to Sam and ran a finger over his neck stretching the skin slightly and carefully inserted the needle in and injected all the grace into him. He wiped his neck healing the small wound and stepped back as Sam moved in his sleep and grunted almost waking, but settled back down on his side snoring softly. "Good luck guys, now go kick my brother's ass." he mumbled before vanishing from the room leaving the brothers sleeping peacefully.

 **spn**

The next morning dawned cooler and overcast with a hint of rain in the air. Dean trooped down the stairs rubbing sleep from his eyes in search of his brother who wasn't in bed when he woke up. He could hear talking from the kitchen and an occasional laugh and headed that way. He found the others gathered around the table talking and having breakfast.

"Morning, I'll get you a couple of eggs fixed." Sam said getting up and moving to the stove. He didn't mention to Dean that he felt different today and he wasn't sure why. He has a sense of charged atoms racing through his body giving him an extra boost of energy. He didn't know where it came from, if it was Cas' grace maybe kicking in more or what, but he felt good, really good. Things seemed sharper and his senses were super hyper. He winced several times when his over sensitive senses caused pain.

"What's got everyone up so early?" Dean asked going to the coffee pot for his morning jolt of caffeine.

"Couldn't sleep." Charlie said. "We're getting close, guess nerves getting the best of me. I still can't believe this is really happening..."

"Did Sammy talk to you Red?" Dean asked dropping into an empty seat.

"About what?"

"You sitting this out. It's going to..."

"You can stop talking buster!" Charlie growled as her temper flared. "You're not putting me on the sidelines because there's a little danger involved."

"Charlie we are talking about the devil here." Sam added. "This is will be like nothing you've ever done."

"Devil, smevil, I don't care. You asked for my help and I will not back down. I'm seeing this through to the end."

"When I asked, I didn't mean to get you so involved in it. I just needed your computer expertise."

"Yeah Red, there's no guarantee any of us will walk away from this." Dean continued. "Me and Sammy, we've been here before. We know what's at stake and we're willing to die trying, but you don't need to."

"Let me say this a little clearer, I **WILL NOT** be left out of this. You're going to need all the help you can get to pull this off and if I die trying to save the world...Well...Then it's worth it. This thing is bigger than both of you and it's going to take all of us working together to stop him. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of living if we fail." she said quieting down as she spoke the last words.

"Okay then, we're in this together." Dean nodded seeing the conviction in her eyes and knew they reflected his own. "Anything out there that might tell us where the devil is hold up?"

"Cas is trying to get the angels to help track him down. Don't know how much success he'll be with that." Sam answered. He dished the eggs onto a plate and took them over to Dean. Sam took his seat again to finish eating.

"Thanks bro."

"I'm going to study this binding spell and see if there's any surprises we need to be aware of." Bobby huffed getting up to put his dishes in the sink before trudging toward his office.

"After you finish eating Dean, I thought I'd show you guys how the rings work and the incantation to use to open the Cage." Sam told them.

"It better not be some long drawn out speech." Dean mumbled since he didn't like Latin and having to learn it.

"It's just one sentence." Sam said giving his brother a bitch face making Charlie hide her laugher behind her cup of tea.

 **spn**

Sam and Charlie jumped when Cas suddenly appeared in the living room bloody and breathing hard.

"Dean!" Sam yelled as he threw the book he was reading aside and got up to steady his friend. "Cas what happened? Are you okay?"

"What's the ruckus?" Dean asked coming from Bobby's office with Bobby close behind. He quickly took in the scene and helped Sam move Cas to a chair so he could sit. "Cas?"

"I ran into a bit of trouble..." Cas huffed out as he collapsed in the chair. He moved his hand and blood and a trickle of grace could be seen through his torn shirt.

"I'll get the first aid kit." Bobby said heading for his bathroom.

"I'll heal, it just might take a little longer since I'm not connected to Heaven anymore." he said coughing and wincing in pain.

"I'll get him something to drink." Charlie said moving toward the kitchen.

"What happened?"

"I know where Lucifer is going to be, but there's bad news too."

"Sip a little of this." Charlie told him holding out a water bottle for him.

"Thank you." he said taking the bottle in a bloody hand and gulping down huge swallows emptying the bottle.

"Okay..." Charlie huffed out as he handed her to empty bottle back. "Guess he didn't understand the sipping part." she mumbled wondering if she should get another.

"It can't be no worse than it is, tell us Cas." Sam said helping him out of his trench coat so he could examine his wounds.

"Michael has found another vessel." Cas said looking to Dean as he said it. "The angels decided it would take to long to break you for him to use you Dean."

Dean shuffled and stiffened when the others looked at him, especially Charlie who wasn't aware of the entire story.

"Lucifer and Michael are going to battle and who ever wins gets the Earth. The problem is their fight could destroy a large portion of the planet and kill millions of people."

"Wait, now what..." Charlie complained holding up her hands. "Can you run that by me again? I don't think I'm getting the whole picture here. Dean's what?" she said looking from Sam to Dean for an answer.

"Here you go." Bobby said sitting the first aid kit on a chair. He looked up at the serious expressions on everyone's faces and knew something major was said that he missed. "Okay let the old man in on the secret, what's going on?" he asked loudly to get everyone's attention.

* * *

 **A/N: Things are starting to heat up now and now Michael is added to the mix. Thank you to all who are reading my story and all who have left reviews. They do help me in my writing. Please leave one if you can. NC**


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: To the guest who left a review on the last chapter. I am going down a different path with my story in this AU and Sam will not be saying yes to Lucifer. There is something else I have in mind and part of it will be revealed in this chapter. NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 47**

Dean and Sam looked at each other as Sam grabbed gauze pads from the kit to press into Cas's side laying his hand over them to hold in place. Dean cleared his throat and stood taller stilling himself to relay the information.

"Cas found out some things. He knows where Lucifer is going to be but there's a snag." Dean started.

"Okay go on..." Bobby encouraged readying himself for the other shoe to drop.

"Michael is in the mix now."

"Balls!" Bobby spat, jerking his ball cap off and rubbing a hand over his head before replacing it. He paced the living room as he let that sink in and what it meant to them. "So now we've got two archangels to deal with..."

"Let me patch Cas and we'll work on modifying our plan." Sam said trying not to sound discouraged when it seemed the cards were stacking up against them.

"Fine by me son...I'll be in my office." he grumbled stalking back to his office muttering to himself.

"This may hurt Cas." Sam said as he soaked a cloth in alcohol to clean his wound.

"It is fine Sam, I don't feel things like humans do." he said waiting for Sam to continue.

Sam steadied himself and began to clean his wounds and accepted a clean cloth from Charlie who had soaked another one for him. He grabbed a suture kit and ripped it open so he could stitch his wounds closed to let his grace heal him. Sam moved to where he was facing away from Dean and Charlie before laying his hand over Cas' wound and concentrated hard picturing the wound being healed. He could feel something in him charging up and a little hint of blue shown for a moment.

"How did you do that?" Cas asked quietly when he felt Sam almost heal him. He didn't think his grace would have done that to Sam, to allow him that much power.

"I don't know." Sam admitted in a whisper where Dean couldn't hear. "Don't tell Dean. He doesn't need to worry about me right now."

"Something wrong Sam?" Dean asked when he heard soft mumbles from both of them.

"No I'm almost done. He's almost stitched up." Sam said quickly as he covered the almost healed wound so no one would see.

Dean stood to the side out of the way, letting Sam handle Cas' injuries. He thought about having Michael involved now and what it meant. This upped the danger level tenfold for them now and he had a sinking feeling none of them would walk away from the ordeal. He looked at Sam and Charlie and his chest ached and constricted making it hard to breath.

Not able to endure it any longer, Dean headed back into the kitchen and out onto the deck so they wouldn't see his reaction. He felt he was losing it as everything bombarded him and all he wanted to do was destroy something. Dean was breathing hard as his heart pounded in his chest when a hand touched him. He went on the defensive getting ready to throw a punch until it registered Charlie was standing beside him.

"Are you alright?" she asked watching his reaction and seeing how intense and dangerous he looked, but she didn't back down. "Wanna talk?"

Dean slowly lowered his hands and forced his fists to relax as he turned back away from her so she wouldn't see his torment. He heard her speaking but the words didn't register in his mind that was in complete turmoil.

"I know you're upset about what Castiel said but we'll figure something out. Isn't that what you guys do? Do the impossible? You've got to pull it together for Sam's sake." Charlie told him taking his arm and pulling him back around to look at her. "Are you listening to me?" she said a little harder.

Dean finally met her eyes and saw the look of determination in her eyes. "I hear you Red..." he got out through clenched teeth as he forced himself to box up his fears and doubts and lock them away. Dean put up a wall to all his emotions and re-enforced it as he squared his shoulders and willed himself to put on a blank face. He didn't hear all she said but did catch _'pull it together for Sam'_ and knew she was right. He couldn't lose it now; they had a job to do because they were the only ones that did stand a fighting chance of stopping Lucifer and now Michael. Dean headed back inside with Charlie close behind him to find Sam finishing up with Cas.

"Alright guys, let's step back and regroup. There's got to be a way around this snag." Dean said in a strong, serious voice.

"Dean's right, let me clean up and we'll get back at it." Sam said packing up the first aid kit and heading to the bathroom to wash up before joining them in Bobby's office. He gave Cas a _'don't tell'_ look when he came back hoping he would keep his secret.

 **spn**

"Alright, Cas tell us all you found out." Dean stated firmly taking over as leader to no ones objections.

"Michael and Lucifer are going to meet in Kansas at a place called Stull Cemetery. The battle will start there." Cas said, pretending to wince when he adjusted in his seat. He looked to Sam who gave a barely noticeable nod his way.

"Isn't that near Lawrence?" Sam asked thinking he remembered the name.

"Yes, on the outskirts of the town."

"Any idea when this is going to take place?" Bobby asked. "kind of strange they would pick that place, the only thing significant about it is you boys were born in Lawrence."

Dean and Sam looked at each other wondering if that was the case since they were the archangel's vessels.

"Not exactly, but I would say it would be soon."

"We have the binding spell, if it will work on one archangel why not two?" Charlie asked.

They turned to look at her with interesting eyes. She usually remained quiet during their discussions but what she said made sense.

"I'm just saying...Two of us take an archangel each and bind them."

"Do you know how dangerous that is going to be?" Dean asked. "But it may be our only option."

"I have Lucifer." Sam said without hesitation.

Cas really looked at him for the first time since he had gotten back. He frowned slightly as he studied him sensing something different about his essence. He wasn't sure what had changed, but Sam seemed to radiate with power that wasn't there before.

"How long before you're healed Cas?" Dean asked.

"Less than a day. I just need to rest." he said tiredly.

"You rest and we'll get ready to head out when you're recharged. Go lay down on the couch Cas."

"Alright." he agreed getting up to shuffle out of the room.

"I'll go over the words to open the portal for the Cage." Sam said grabbing a pad to write down them down. "It has to be said exactly, no adlib." he stated looking up at Dean with a knowing look.

"What?" Dean asked innocently glaring back at his brother.

Charlie looked between the two and knew they were silently communicating to each other and completely ignored her. She waited patiently for the stand off to end, not wanting to intrude on the moment because she didn't think they would like it.

 **spn**

The three hunters and hacker set around Bobby's office trying to hash out a revised plan now that they knew Michael was in the mix. Sam was thinking back on what Death had told him about a human soul. He said it was more powerful than an archangel and wondered if he was trying to tell him something important without coming right out and saying it.

"Bobby is there any way to tap a person's soul?" Sam asked making them all look up at him.

"What do you mean son?" Bobby asked not sure where this came from.

"Death told me a soul is more powerful than an archangel. If I could use that power with what I already have maybe I can beat Lucifer back. I know Cas can touch a soul, do you think he could transfer some of that power to another person?"

"Cas can touch a soul?" Charlie asked in surprise thinking she had a lot to learn.

"What are you saying Sam? You want to jack yourself up on someone else's soul power and hope it doesn't kill you?"

"It's never been done before Sam. It could be dangerous for both parties." Cas said from the doorway he was leaning against.

"I told you to rest." Dean chastised him getting up to let him have his seat.

"I am better." he said but he still looked weak.

"But it can be done. Would it kill the other person?"

"Not if you don't remove the entire soul. The person would be weak and helpless until his soul builds the taken energy back up. An archangel could replenish it quicker for the person." he offered.

"I'll do it." Charlie said holding up her hand.

The four men turned to look at her small form as she slowly lowered her hand. "I'm the one who doesn't know enough about all this other stuff to fight, so it has to be me."

"I can't let you do that Charlie. We don't know how dangerous it will be."

"Sam's right, if anyone does it, it's me. We're brothers; we're already bonded by blood and have both endured liked traumas that have changed us." Dean announced. "I am the Righteous Man and have endured hell; I probably have the strongest soul. Sam being Lucifer's vessel must mean his soul would be able to handle it. I can boost his with mine."

"Wait...What..." Charlie said quickly knowing she had missed some pages of this story. When did Dean go to hell and what was the Righteous Man thing about. Sam being a vessel for Lucifer was all new too. She started to speak again but stopped when Sam held up his hand.

"Not now Charlie." he told her knowing she had questions about what was just said. "Dean's right. He is the obvious choice of all of you." Sam stated looking at Dean grimly. He had no idea what siphoning power from Dean's soul would do to him and that scared the hell out of him. "If it works I won't need to bind Lucifer 'cause I will be able to control him and force him into the Cage."

"Then one of us has to bind Michael and the other open the Cage." Bobby said looking to Charlie who was beginning to pale and looked frightened. "Guess it should be me to take on the angel and Charlie can open the Cage."

"That would be the less dangerous job, I agree." Sam said looking to Charlie. "Charlie you don't have to do this we can find someone else. You didn't sign up for this and I don't want you getting hurt."

"No, you're not kicking me out when we're almost to the finish line Sam Winchester!" she said fiercely. "I may not have all your knowledge, but I think I can handle a sentence in Latin. Yeah, sure I'm really scared out of my mind but that's not going to stop me from helping. I told you we're in this together and that's how it's going to be."

"Well alright, I guess it's settled then." Dean huffed pushing away from the wall. "We'll let Cas rest up until tomorrow and we'll head for Kansas. He can do the power transfer there so you'll have full strength."

Cas looked up at the mention of his name and saw something pass over Sam's face and a slight glow in his eyes that quickly disappeared. He wasn't sure if he was seeing things from being weak or there was some unspoken agenda going on no one knew about. Dean grabbed his arm and pulled him back toward the living room before he could access more.

Sam looked around the room at those that were risking their lives for him and the mistake he was trying to fix. It pained him that he couldn't do this alone so no one else would need to risk their lives to help. He could feel the turmoil boiling inside of him, but could feel something else too. It felt like a surge of tremendous power pulsing and gathering and waiting to be used. He thought about asking Cas about it but wasn't sure if he wanted to say anything more than he already knew. He got up and followed the others from Bobby's office intending on drilling Charlie with the spell to open the Cage and showing her how the rings worked. At least once she opened the door; she could run like hell and get as far away as she could so maybe she would be safe. If their plan didn't work, there would be no one safe from the battle the archangels would wager. It wouldn't bother them if half the world was destroyed and the people on it. He had to think positive. This had to work.

It was their only shot at saving the world and humanity.

* * *

 **A/N: So each has a role to play, but will it be enough to stop the battle? Thank you for reading my story, for following, favoring and reviews. Reviews would make my day. NC**


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

The riders in the Impala were quiet and stoic as she made her way toward the battle field. Everyone knew they had one shot at this and had to make it count. Sam glanced in the back at Charlie, Cas and Bobby wondering if any of them would make it out of this suicide mission in one piece. He looked over to his brother's stern, determined profile and knew if needed, Dean would die to accomplish their mission. He just hoped it didn't come down to that. Bobby and Cas had narrowed down what they thought was going to be the day of the battle which was tomorrow at high noon. Dean said they'd get a couple of rooms for the night and head to the cemetery in the morning to case the place and set up the ambush.

"I'll be stopping for gas soon and it'll be the last one until we get to Lawrence so if you need to hit the head or grab something you'll need to do it." Dean stated breaking the silence in the vehicle.

"How much farther is it?" Charlie asked.

"Probably four hours." Sam answered her. "You doing okay?"

"Sure...I'm traveling with three hunters, an angel and we're going to confront the devil...Why wouldn't I be okay?" Charlie said sarcastically, trying not to sound as uneasy and scared as she felt.

"It's alright to be scared lass." Bobby assured her. "I think we all feel it."

"He's right Charlie...We're all scared, we just don't let it stop us from doing what needs to be done. You can't let it control you." Sam added looking back over the seat at her. "None of us would think less of you if you want to bow out. I know you didn't sign up for this."

"I would never forgive myself if I did that Sam. We're in this together and well if we die...We'll do that together too." she said adamantly. "I don't let a friend down."

"Thanks." Sam said giving her an encouraging smile.

Bobby reached and clasped her hand in his rough, calloused one and squeezed gently to give her support. She smiled at him, grasped his hand in both of hers wishing all this was over with...One way or the other. Nothing else was said as they continued down the highway, allowing each of them to contemplate what was ahead of them.

 **spn**

"Alright, this is our exit." Dean said signaling and slowing the Impala to move off the interstate and slow and stop at the stop sign. He looked both ways deciding on the station to the right since he could get back on the interstate easier. The station wasn't very busy and he had his choice of several pumps. "Everyone out and go do your thing." he ordered turning the car off and getting out.

"Man!" Sam groaned as he got out and stretched his lanky body, popping his back and shoulders.

"These old bones ain't what they used to be." Bobby grunted in pain as he extracted himself from the back seat. He reached in a hand to help Charlie out and to be sure she had her balance.

"I'm finding the restrooms." Charlie said once she was upright and able to walk. She headed for the front doors with Bobby and Sam close behind her.

Cas stepped from the car and looked around the area as Dean filled up his Baby. He had no need for the services and felt better keeping Dean company while the others did.

"Be honest with me Cas, you think we have a chance in hell?" Dean asked him quietly watching the gauge as the car filled.

Cas looked at him for a moment before glancing away not sure how to respond. He knew Dean wouldn't want him to lie, but the truth might be worse.

"Never mind don't answer that." Dean huffed. "Better to not know." he mumbled waiting for the pump to click off.

Cas felt bad for him because he knew the struggle Dean was having letting Sam face Lucifer like this. He had always been his protector and guardian all his life and it was hard to turn that off, even if he could. No one would ever fault Dean for the sacrifices that he had made and the extreme measures he would go to for the greater good. He would readily give up his own life if that is what it came down to. None of them knew what the outcome was going to be and each was dealing with it in their own way.

"I'm going to hit the head, wanna move the car over there to the side?" Dean asked Cas holding out his keys. He didn't usually let anyone else drive her, but since it was only fifty feet he couldn't see any harm. "Be careful." he added in a no nonsense tone.

"Of course Dean." Cas said moving to get in the Impala. He knew how much Dean loved his car and looked around to be sure no one was in the way as he crept cautiously toward the side of the building and into a parking space. He got out and went around to the other side to stand there daring anyone to park too close.

 **spn**

Dean had headed inside and met Bobby coming out with a coffee and pastry and nodded over to where Cas stood waiting. He glanced around and spotted the sign heading to the back of the store. He spotted Charlie and Sam at the drinks as they talked over what to get. Seeing that everyone was okay, Dean stepped into the restroom to do his business so they could get back out on the highway.

They were all standing around the Impala waiting on him when he came out with a drink and jerky. Sam must have said something funny because Charlie started laughing and slapped him on the arm. Dean was glad they could relax a little with what they were about to face the next day. He paused to take in the picture before moving toward them and watched as they piled into the car waiting for him to get there. Dean opened the driver's door and dropped into the seat checking to be sure everyone was settled before cranking his Baby and listening to her roar to life under his masterful hands. She purred happily as he backed her up and headed back to the interstate.

 **spn**

"Where's the motel we're booked at?" Dean asked as the outskirts of Lawrence loomed ahead of them.

"Take the bypass around the town." Sam instructed him. "It's the Motor Inn at exit 22."

"Got it." Dean nodded checking the signs for what he wanted. He took the bypass around the town, blending in with traffic as they moved slowly with the other vehicles. It didn't take them long to find the exit and the sign advertising the Motor Inn and exited off.

"I'll go in and get the keys. I've already reserved two rooms with connecting door for us." Sam told them getting ready to get out after Dean pulled up to the office. He got out and headed for the door marked office, going inside to the counter and waiting for a young guy sitting behind it to notice him. "I have a reservation for two adjoining rooms." Sam told him.

"Name?" he guy asked in a bored tone.

"Smith, Sam." he replied pulling a credit card from his wallet to pay.

"Got it. You want them for one night...First floor..." the guy read from his computer screen, clicking a couple of keys before continuing. "That will be a hundred and twenty-five dollars and forty-four cents."

"Fine." Sam said laying the card down on the counter.

"Fill this out." he told Sam pushing a registration card toward him.

Sam picked up a pen and quickly began to fill out the card with fake information as the guy ran his card for payment. He waited to sign the receipt and took his copy and card back and the keys for the rooms. Sam nodded his thanks and headed out glancing at the room numbers before motioning for Dean to pull around back and headed down the walkway until he found the two rooms.

Sam stood at a parking space, waiting for Dean to pull in and stop. The place wasn't busy yet and might not be since it was a weekday. He opened one door to a room and glanced in before turning back to see everyone getting out and going to the trunk to get their bags. He saw Dean had grabbed his bag and waited by the door.

"Both rooms have two queen size beds so you can take your pick." he commented as they trooped into the room. He closed the door behind him and threw the lock before joining them.

"There's a diner across the street. I'll head over and get us some dinner." Dean said dropping his bags on the bed nearest the door. "No need all of us being seen together. Requests?"

"I don't know if I can eat anything." Charlie said since her stomach was tied in knots.

"You need to try Charlie. Won't do any good to starve yourself." Sam told her. "I'll take a grilled chicken sandwich, side salad and tea."

"Sounds good to me, but make it coffee." Bobby said.

"Alright, double cheese burger with fries and tea and if they have pie a slice would be nice." Charlie finally said knowing Sam was right.

"You got it Red." he said. "I knew there was a reason I was warming up to you." he teased.

"I love you too sexy." she cooed throwing a kiss his way.

Sam snickered when Dean sputtered and reddened slightly before heading back out the door. Only Charlie could get the best of his brother and not get reamed for it. He opened the door between the rooms and gave it a once over satisfied with it before joining the others back in the other room. Everyone was sitting around it not sure what to do. Bobby and Cas were sitting at the table and Charlie was sitting cross legged on one of the beds. Sam dropped down on the other bed across from Charlie and gave her a weak smile knowing how she was feeling. He could see her lips moving silently and wondered if she was reciting the words to open to Cage.

"You'll do fine Charlie." Sam tried to assure her. "All you have to remember is drop the rings, say the words and run like hell."

"I know you've told me, but I still wanna be sure I get it right. You know if I make even the smallest mistake we're screwed."

"I have confidence in you. We all just need to play our part and think positive thoughts. Our plan will work, it has to. We don't have any other options unless I say yes to Lucifer and try to drag him into the Cage myself. "

"No way will I let you do that Sam Winchester." Charlie hissed in anger. "This will work; like you said we have to be positive."

The two hunters reached for their weapons as the door jiggled and started to open. They relaxed when Dean came in carrying food and drinks.

"Food's up." he said going to the table to set the bags and tray with drinks down. "I know you don't usually eat Cas, but I got you something anyway." he said as he started pulling wrapped sandwiches from the bag.

"C'mon Charlie, try to eat something." Sam told her holding out his hand to help her up.

"I'll try." she sighed letting him pull her up to her feet.

The food was divided among them and eaten while watching an old movie on television. Not much conversation was carried on by any of them and they split up early, calling it a night. Sam and Charlie took the other room and let Bobby and Dean have the one they were in. Cas stayed in the room with Bobby and Dean and sat on the couch since he didn't need to sleep. He listened to the restlessness of his companions as they tried to go to sleep knowing tomorrow was going to be a winner take all day or no winner at all. Sleep was not going to come easy to any of them because tomorrow they would be facing two archangels who would destroy the world if they couldn't stop them.

* * *

 **A/N: The fight is coming and tension is high. Can they stop the archangels? Will they all survive? We will see in the next chapters. The end is getting close, thank you for coming along for the journey. Reviews would be nice. NC**


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

Morning came too soon for the travelers as they began to wake up. Sam let Charlie have the bathroom first. He laid in his bed and tried to calm himself and still his nerves on what lay ahead of him. It wasn't just him that would be hurt if they didn't pull this off. He rubbed his temples as the onset of a headache decided to rear its ugly head and he fought it. Sam heard the water shut off in the bathroom and pushed himself up from the bed and got up to dig some clothes from his bag so he could get a shower next.

"You guys up?" Dean called as he knocked on the adjoining door and cracked it open to glance inside.

"Yeah, Charlie's in the shower and I'm getting one next." Sam replied.

"Okay, c'mon over when you're ready. Bobby's taking a shower and I'm heading out for coffees and food." he told him.

"Alright, we'll pack and be over soon."

"Gotha." Dean nodded closing the door back leaving him alone.

The bathroom door opened and a cloud of steam billowed out as Charlie stepped from the bathroom trying to tame her unruly hair. "I'm done, its all yours."

"Thanks, Dean's gone for some breakfast and we'll leave after that." Sam told her picking his clothes up before stepping to the bathroom.

"I'll be ready." she said rolling up her dirty clothes to pack back in her bag.

 **spn**

Sam and Charlie stepped into the other room to find Bobby and Dean sitting at the table drinking coffee and Cas sitting on the love seat. They saw two other cups sitting on the table waiting for them.

"Hey Red, got ya a hot tea." Dean commented nodding to one of the cups.

"Thanks Dean." she said sitting her bags by the others and moving to take the cup.

"Here's some breakfast sandwiches for you two." Bobby said getting up to let Charlie have his seat.

"I figured once we're done and ready, we'll find the cemetery and check it out. Maybe we can figure out where they're going to meet."

"It will be in the middle in an open area." Cas said. "I will go there now and wait for you."

"Be careful Cas; don't need to alert them that we're coming." Dean told him before he disappeared.

"Never going to get use to that." Charlie mumbled as she quickly blinked looking to where Cas had been sitting.

"Might as well go over the plan one more time..." Dean said looking to Sam since he was the key to all this. It would be him taking on Lucifer and he knew it was a heavy burden to carry. He didn't like not knowing if he would be able to help or not once Cas took some of his soul's power to fuel up Sam, but as long as it helped him, he'd give him all of it. "Sammy, are you good?" he asked his brother who was staring off into space. "Sammy." Dean said a little harder and louder.

"What?" Sam asked looking up to see them staring at him and wondered what he'd missed.

"Are you good?" Dean asked again concern and worry on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he said shaking his head slightly. "Bobby if you can't hold Michael then let him come. If I can take on one archangel, I should be able to handle two. I don't want either of you getting hurt because of me." he said looking from Bobby to Charlie. "Don't take any unnecessary risks."

"You just worry about Lucifer son, I'll handle Michael." Bobby assured him.

"I'll be fine; it's not like I'm doing that much." Charlie said. "I'm only opening a portal to the Cage."

"And you run, don't look back no matter what happens, you get out of there to safety." Sam told her sternly. "Okay?"

"I know Sam. Don't be worrying about me. You've got enough on your plate as it is." she assured him.

"Alright then, bathroom anyone before we leave..." he suggested seeing Charlie get up and step inside and Sam going to the other room to use that one. They came out a few minutes later and waited by the bed looking to Dean as leader. "If we're good, let's rock and roll." he said picking up his bags and heading out the door.

The others did the same and followed him to the Impala where they stowed their bags and got in the car. Dean cranked her up and pulled from the parking lot to head to Stull Cemetery in the hopes of stopping the battle between the archangels and shoving Lucifer back into the Cage.

 **spn**

Clouds were moving in casting the world around them into shadows and creating a mood that each one of the riders in the Impala was feeling. The closer they got to the cemetery, the more the clouds began to gather and block out the warmth and comfort of the sun. Dean found a place to park the Impala, hidden and out of the way.

"Cas we're here." Dean mumbled looking around for the angel. It was a few minutes before he appeared in front of the car and looked over at them.

"Did you find anything?" Sam asked getting out and joining him.

"Yes, I am sure I know where they are going to meet." he stated as the others joined him.

"Show us." Dean said wanting to see the place for himself and if it would be a good place for the ambush.

Cas began walking away from them, heading deeper into the cemetery and toward the middle of it. He slowed and stopped in an area that was flat and had open space among the tombstones where the archangels could face off. Dean looked around slowly taking in everything at once as he tried to picture it in his mind.

Sam walked on into the open space away from the others as he began to pull the powers within him together letting one feed off the other. He felt a huge burst of energy radiate throughout his entire body, startling him at first, but allowed his mind and body to accept it. This was much more than Cas's grace could be and wasn't sure where it came from. His eyes flashed silver for a moment, but none of the others noticed since he had his back to them.

"Sam, I can feel it in you." Cas said softly as he stood to the side of him with his head cocked watching him.

"It is not from me."

"I don't know Cas...I woke up a few days ago and felt different, stronger...I can't explain it."

"Neither can I, but I am glad that you have it. It may be the extra you need to see this through."

"We'll have Charlie hidden over there." Dean pointed to some tombstones grouped together that would give her cover. "You've got to get Lucifer turned where his back is that way so he won't see her."

"Okay, got it." Sam said checking out where Dean was pointing.

"I don't know where Michael is going to come from, but we'll have Bobby over here so he can cover most of the area and hopefully stop him long enough for you to do your thing."

"What do we do with Michael?" Charlie asked. "Will he be upset about what we're doing?"

"Let's hope I can convince him otherwise." Cas said.

"Alright, let's go back to the car and get ready. Cas will you be able to sense when they're here?"

"Yes."

"How long should we wait before giving Sammy my soul energy?" Dean asked him as they walked back the way they came.

"We should be able to do it any time now. It might be better so Sam can get use to the surge of power inside of him. It will give him time to learn to control it."

"Okay, then...Well I guess we might as well do it then." Dean said stopping at the side of the Impala and waiting for Sam to join them. "Sammy, Cas says we can do this now so you can get use to the power."

"Alright, but Dean are you sure about this? We don't know how it's going to affect you."

"I'm sure Sammy, if it helps you defeat the devil I'd give you everything." he said earnestly.

"Are you ready?" Cas asked Dean. "This will be painful, I can't avoid it."

"It's fine Cas, just do it." Dean said squaring his shoulders and tensing his body ready for the retrieval. He pulled his shirt open and his tee shirt up out of the way so Cas would have access to his chest.

Cas put a hand on his shoulder, gripping him tightly as he took his right hand and pushed deep into Dean's body to find his soul and touch it. Dean grunted and gritted his teeth as the pain raced through him and he stiffened, unable to breath. Very carefully Cas began to extract a part of Dean's soul so he could give it to Sam. Sam stood beside them watching as Dean's face turned pale and he didn't seem to be breathing.

"Cas? Is Dean alright?" Sam asked quietly. He looked over at Charlie and Bobby who had taken a seat back in the Impala, but was watching through the window.

"I'm almost done." Cas muttered as he separated a large section of Dean's soul and gently pulled it from his body. He cupped it in his hand and to his chest as Dean slumped back against the Impala unconscious, and started to slide down it if Sam hadn't caught him.

"Here." Charlie said, opening the back door so Sam could shift Dean into the car and lower him down on the seat. Charlie helped pull Dean over into the back seat and got out on the other side. She adjusted his shirt back down and buttoned up the other one before closing the door.

"Be sure he's breathing." Sam told her leaning up when Cas spoke.

"We'll take care of him." Bobby told him as he got out and leaned in the car to check on Dean. He felt for a pulse and laid a hand on his chest to make sure he was breathing and not in distress. Bobby looked to Charlie and nodded yes to her worried, questioning look that he was still alive.

"Are you ready Sam?" Cas asked. "I need to do this now."

"Yeah Cas, do it." Sam said quickly unbuttoning his shirt and pulling his tee shirt up.

"It will hurt Sam, just like it did with Dean."

"I know..." Sam said leaning back against the car for support. He watched Cas move in front of him and blinked rapidly at the sheer brightness of the pulsating ball of energy in Cas' hand. It seemed to have a mind of its own and seemed to be drawn to Sam as it tried to escape from Cas' cupped hands.

Cas grabbed his arm and with great care pushed the ball of energy into Sam's chest. He guided it to Sam's soul and let them join as one before pulling his hand out and holding Sam up as he cried out softly from the extreme pain that raced to the end of every nerve in his body. His body tensed so tightly the cords on his neck stood out and he threw his head back and silently cried out for a moment before he slumped forward panting hard and wheezing. When the souls touched it felt like an explosion went off inside his body. Sam slowly straightened up as all the forces combined blasted him with immense power. His eyes glowed brightly with silver light as he pulled himself to this full height.

"Sam are you alright?" Cas asked studying him closely as the power consumed him. "I know who gave you the angel grace. I felt it when I touched your soul."

"Who?" Sam asked as he straightened and let the energy build and tried not to hinder it.

"Gabriel." Cas answered. "He must've done it one night before we left." he mumbled more to himself than the others. He didn't understand why Gabriel wouldn't have revealed himself to them if he wanted to help, but that question was for another day.

"I'm ready." Sam stated boldly and with conviction. "We need to get in place so we'll be ready. Cas you help Bobby with Michael. Oh and I need something from you." Sam ordered in a stern, commanding voice.

"What is that Sam?" Cas asked taking in his appearance and knew there was more than Dean's soul powering him.

"Your angel blade." he said holding out his hand.

"But it won't hurt Lucifer." Cas explained.

"I know. I have other plans for it." he said watching as the blade dropped into Cas' hand and held out to him. He took the blade and turned to Charlie. "Charlie watch for my signal, once you open the portal you come back here and stay with Dean."

"Sure?" Charlie said with a squeak thinking Sam was very frightening looking.

Without further words, Sam trooped off toward the clearing Cas had found not bothering to look to see if they were following. He had one goal in mind and planned on seeing it through, no matter what price he had to pay. This was all on him and he vowed to make things right.

* * *

 **A/N: So Sam now has the power of a human soul, his brother's. Will it be enough to stop Lucifer? How will this affect Dean? We shall see, nothing is as**

 **simple as it seems. Reviews make my day. NC**


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Thank you Clowns or Midgets for your input on the next few chapters. It helped make them so much better. If you have not read any of her stories, check them out. She's a great writer, one of my favorites. The battle is on. Enjoy and I hope I have done it justice. I think you will be surprised. Reviews make my day. NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 50**

Bobby and Cas waited among the tombstones hidden as they watched the clearing where Sam was standing. Charlie was crouched down behind a headstone and peaking around waiting for Sam to let her know when to open the portal. She looked down at the four rings in the palm of her hand and swallowed hard. They seemed so heavy and powerful just laying there waiting to be used. The words ran through her head in a steady stream as her lips moved silently reciting the sentence Sam had taught her. She knew she couldn't fail Sam. He was depending on her. She wiped the sweat from her forehead, even though there was a slight cool breeze blowing through the graveyard. Charlie couldn't believe how calm and collected Sam seemed to be and wondered if it had to do with Dean's soul merging with his.

Sam looked up at the clouds that were beginning to gather in the sky blocking out the warm rays of the sun. They seemed to be building the closer it got to noon, almost like Mother Nature knew a battle was about to happen and she didn't want to see it. Sam felt him before seeing him and slowly turned around to face Lucifer.

"Sam, it's good to see you in person! Have you been sleeping well lately" Lucifer asked, an innocent look on his face that only made Sam's look darker. "Have you come to take your rightful place as my vessel so we can defeat Michael once and for all?" he questioned as he stepped closer.

Sam didn't move wanting to get Lucifer in the right spot and facing away from Charlie. He didn't speak until he was within ten feet of him. "No, I came to stop you two from destroying my world."

"Well Sam, I not sure how you plan on doing that? You know that angel blade won't hurt me." he shrugged seeing the weapon in Sam's hand hanging by this side. "I don't think you have anything that can..." he questioned raising his hand to tap a finger to his lips like he was in deep thought.

"I have better uses for the blade." Sam stated gripping the blade tightly.

"I think my brother is coming and I have things to do, so..." he started and raised his hand to swat Sam away.

Sam quickly threw his hand up and allowed the powers within him to be unleashed, stopping Lucifer from moving. He clenched his hand and saw a pained look cross his face and smiled in satisfaction.

"What's...Happening?" Lucifer groaned out as he looked at Sam in shock and pain.

Voices could be heard yelling from where Bobby and Cas were, but Sam didn't pay it any mind. He had to keep his focus on what was in front of him.

 **spn**

"Michael." Cas called to him, as a young man walked toward him.

"Castiel isn't it?" Michael asked as he stopped and studied the angel with interest. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to reason with you. You can't fight our brother. You know the consequences of a battle will devastate this planet. You will be killing millions of our Father's creations."

"Our Father's creations are already destroying this world Castiel. When I win this battle and Lucifer is finally dead, I will make this place a Heaven on Earth. It is what our Father wants." he replied his eyes blazing as he saw the vision in his mind. "It is my destiny...There must be a battle..."

Bobby stepped from behind the tombstone and slashed the palm of his hand, making blood flow. He began to draw sigils in the air as he quickly spoke in Latin...

 _In omni virtute terra marique,_

 _Omnes robustos et Luna_

 _Carmine dicam alliget Terrae._

 _Aeris est sic tam cito._

 _Clara est et sicut ignis meridiem._

 _Sicut aqua profunda tantus fluxus._

 _Sinai, numera filios quatuor elementis,_

 _Quinto incantatores tenebit_

"What is this lowly human doing?" Michael yelled when suddenly he felt something tighten around his neck. "Stop this right now!" he roared in anger.

As soon as the last words were spoken, Bobby saw a thin, golden cord appear around Michael's neck leading to his own hand. "I command you to be silent and still!" Bobby shouted as he gripped tightly to the cord and pointed at Michael with his other hand.

Cas watched in fascination as Michael suddenly couldn't speak or move. Michael silently screamed at the angel and tried to jerk his feet from the ground to no avail. He was outraged that a lowly angel and a mere human dared to stand in his way.

"It is for the good of the world and mankind Michael. We are putting Lucifer back in his Cage. There will be no need for a battle and you can go back to Heaven." Cas tried to explain to him only to get deadly stares from the archangel as he continued to struggle.

 **spn**

"I don't think Michael is going to make it." Sam said when suddenly silence filled the air and he felt the binding spell working.

"What now Sammy? You don't have all the rings. Death would never give his up." Lucifer gloated.

"You have been the cause of all my suffering over the years and for the loss of so many family members and friends. I know it was your plan all along that I was to kill Lilith and free you. How long had you been planning it?"

"Before you were even born Sam. Long before you could ever image. It was wrong that I was locked away by Michael. I was God's favorite and he allowed me to be imprisoned like a..." Lucifer broke off as his anger began to rise. "You were just a tiny cog in the whole scheme of things and I gotta say...You played your part so well..." he laughed haughty and with glee. "So what are you going to do Sam? Might as well get this over with so I can fight my brother and destroy him."

Sam's face darkened as the rage built, pulling from all the sources within him, demon blood, angel grace, soul energy to amp him up. "This..." Sam said stepping close enough to slash the angel blade across his throat and release his grace. He quickly held up a vial to capture the grace and capped it off. "You took from me, well I'm taking from you." he said sarcastically.

"No! No! You can't do that!" Lucifer cried out clamping a hand over his neck and feeling a trickle of blood run between his fingers.

"Don't worry, it'll heal, eventually." Sam smiled smugly.

"Give it back man, this isn't funny." he demanded.

"It's not meant to be. Now Charlie!" Sam yelled looking over Lucifer's shoulder as Charlie stepped out and dropped the rings behind them.

"Beh voh tah mo en tah beh geh sah bah bah loh en." Charlie chanted the words loudly and then stumbled backwards, but didn't leave like she was supposed to. She was too mesmerized by all that was happening to run away and not see it.

The ground began to tremble and cracks started to appear in the grass when suddenly an area behind Lucifer imploded, opening up a portal to the Cage. Wind picked up causing a whirlwind to form over the cracked, enlarging opening, drawing in anything loose laying around them. It sounded like a speeding train was racing toward them as the pressure continued to build making it painful for those nearby.

"Guess you were wrong about Death." Sam smirked staring in victory at Lucifer. "I didn't ask him for his ring... **He gave** it to me of his own freewill. You know you shouldn't have bound him and pissed him off."

"You can't do this Sam! I need my grace! I will be helpless against Michael without it..."

 **spn**

Castiel and Bobby looked toward the clearing when the ground began to shake around them and knew the portal must be opening. High pitched whining and a gushing of wind filled the air like the start of a tornado was coming their way.

"Go see about Charlie, I got this." Bobby told Cas when he didn't see her running away.

"I should stay." Cas argued.

"She's more important. Go now!" he ordered fiercely.

Cas ran toward the clearing to find Charlie, leaving Bobby along with Michael. Bobby glanced over the tombstones and could see Sam and Lucifer facing off and hoped Sam was winning. He didn't notice Michael raising his hand until it was too late and the archangel blade cut through the cord holding him.

"I will not be bound by you!" he roared throwing his hand up and tossing Bobby back into the tombstones hard. He moved toward the voices determined to do battle with Lucifer. Michael saw Cas with his arms around a human female and threw up his hand sending a ball of white energy toward them blasting them backwards. "Lucifer!" Michael roared over the noise from the portal. "It's time we face each other!"

 **spn**

Sam noticed movement and saw Cas run to Charlie and help her up only to be propelled backward by a power blast from Michael. He heard Lucifer's name being called and turned to see a young man striding toward him with his hand raised. Without thinking, Sam's eyes turned silver and a huge surge of energy raced from his hand to hit Michael, knock him off balance. Sam jerked his hand sideways making Michael stumble toward the sucking opening. Before he could regain control, the earth beneath his feet began to crumble until the closer he got it gave way, dumping him into the abyss. A cry of rage echoed from the hole that faded away within seconds.

Lucifer took this opportunity of Sam being distracted to grab for his grace and knock Sam off balance. Sam saw the attempt, but was too quick for him and threw the vial over his shoulder as far as he could away from Lucifer and struggled with him.

"No!" Lucifer cried out seeing the silvery vial fly through to air to land in the grass to far away for him to get. He reached his hand out willing it to come back, but couldn't get it to move. His mojo was gone and he was left feeling weak and depleted.

Before either knew what was happening, the ground began to crumble under their feet and Lucifer felt his feet sliding toward the abyss of darkness that was swirling and sucking at the air around them. He made a grab for Sam's pants leg, pulling him along with him as his other hand scrambled in the dirt for a handhold.

"If I going, I'm taking you with me!" he screamed, madness and hatred in his eyes as he jerked on the pants leg causing Sam to inch forward toward the opening as Sam leaned backwards to stay upright and not tumble forward. He glared down at Lucifer and saw evil glee in his eyes and knew he couldn't allow himself to be pulled in with him.

Sam tried to pull away but couldn't when he saw movement in his peripheral vision right before he was tackled hard and rolled with the other body away from the opening, only stopping when they hit a small headstone. All the air was knocked from his lungs and he fought to try and fill them again.

A loud vacuuming noise exploded behind him causing the rush of a sound wave outwards making his ears pop and disorienting him until suddenly there was complete silence all around him. The air was dead still for what seemed like forever until chirping from the trees around them broke the silence. Sam cautioned a look over his shoulder and saw the portal was closed and the ground was undisturbed like it had never been there in the first place. Sam let his head fall back down in relief on whatever he was laying on as he wheezed it a mouth of much needed air.

A muffled, familiar, weak voice growled from underneath him, "Getta off me dude...Ya weigh a ton..." it huffed giving a weak push on his brother's body.

"Dean?" Sam said in surprise. He maneuvered his body to the side and let it slide off his brother to lie on his back. "Are you okay?"

"I'll get back to ya on that." Dean groaned touching his side wondering if he had cracked a rib on the headstone they rolled into. "Did you get it done?" he wheezed out trying to take short breaths so the pain wouldn't be so bad. He was too weak to even raise his head to see and was happy to just lay there for a while.

"Yes, both of them. Michael and Lucifer are trapped in the Cage together." he said, his voice cracking and growing harsh. "They both got what they deserved. Now they can fight until the end of time and no one else will be hurt."

"Good..." Dean trailed off as he tried to hold on to consciousness when the world started to spin.


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: The battle is over and they won, but what was the cost? Thank you to the guests who have left reviews, I appreciate them. Only three more chapters and we will be ending the journey. Thank you to all who came along for the ride. Reviews make my day. NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 51**

The dark, ominous clouds seemed to be clearing as Sam lay there looking up at the sky and letting what had happened sink in. He watched closely as two cracks broke in the clouds to allow two shafts of sunlight to break through and shine down on Dean and him. He heard his brother groan softly but he didn't make any attempts at getting up. It was like God was saying thank you for what they did. As he studied the dispersing clouds, two more openings appeared letting two more rays of light shine through illuminating Castiel and Charlie as they helped each other up. Sam smiled to himself for a moment before an alarm suddenly went off in his mind. Something wasn't adding up. Something was wrong. Sam pushed up to a sitting position and looked around.

"Bobby?" he called out when he realized one of the group was missing. "Can you get up?" he asked his brother as he got to his feet and reached down to help Dean to stand on shaky legs and left him leaning against a headstone. "Bobby!" he called again but still didn't get a response. Sam started to make his way toward Cas and Charlie, but paused long enough to pick up the rings from the grass where they lay. "Are you two alright?"

"I think my wrist is broken." Charlie winced hugging her left hand to her chest. "Tried to break my fall..." she muttered.

"I can fix that." Cas said taking her wrist between his hands and letting his grace heal it.

"Wow, thanks." Charlie told him as she moved her wrist slowly finding it didn't hurt anymore.

"Cas? Are you okay?" he asked seeing a trail of blood down the side of his face.

"I'm alright." Cas assured him looking toward Dean who was barely able to stand. He hurried to his side and draped his arm over his shoulders and put an arm around him to help. He saw something glowing in the grass nearby and stopped long enough to pick it up and put it in his pocket.

"Bobby! Where are you?" Sam called again walking across the clearing to where Bobby had been. Panic began to set in and he hoped Bobby was only unconscious as he continued his search. He quickly scanned the area and finally saw a body laying deeper into the tombstones and stumbled that way, dropping down beside his still body. "Bobby?" Sam called to him as he carefully pulled him onto his back to check him out. "Hey, wake up..." Sam said tapping his cheeks before running his hands over his body to check for injury. His hand came back with blood on it from a head wound.

"Is he alright?" Charlie asked as she came to stand beside them.

"Cas..." Sam cried out as tears filled his eyes when he tried to find a pulse in Bobby's neck but couldn't find one.

"S'my..." Dean slurred grabbing a headstone to keep upright as he looked down at Bobby's limp, unresponsive body.

"He's gone Sam." Cas said sadly after laying a hand on his forehead and shaking his head. "I'm sorry..."

"No! No! Bobby wake up!" Sam begged in desperation. "Dean..."

 **spn**

"Well I see you gentlemen got the job done." Death commented as he walked toward them through the tombstones. "I had my doubts, but it seems I was wrong. Guess what they say about you is true. You do figure out how to do the impossible."

"Bring him back." Sam growled out as he looked up at Death with a fierce determination on his face. "If it wasn't for him I couldn't've got Lucifer back in the Cage. It was a combined effort from all of us."

"I think you owe us a favor for releasing you." Dean said boldly trying to hold himself up and not face plant at Death's feet.

"I know you can. He didn't deserve to die, we need him." Sam pleaded one more time in hopes to sway Death.

Death looked down at the older hunter and up at the brothers for a moment contemplating their request before responding. "I guess it wouldn't hurt." he said with no emotion in his voice before raising his cane and pressing it into Bobby's chest for a moment before commanding, " _Ad corpus tuum..."_

Sam looked down at Bobby watching closely and saw him move slightly. "Bobby?"

Bobby drew in a short breath and coughed hard as his eyes started to flutter before opening and squinting at them as he tried to see those around him. Before he could say anything, Sam pulled him up into a bear hug not caring he was sobbing out loud. He was alive, he was breathing and he was talking.

"Sam..." Bobby grunted trying to orient himself to what was going on.

"I think you have something that's mine." Death spoke up, looking at Sam with arched brows.

Sam let Bobby go and stood to face Death as he reached into his pocket for his ring. He pulled it out, looked at it for a moment and then held it out to him. "Thank you." he said in a quivering voice not able to stem his emotions yet.

"I would be more careful. I might not be as generous next time." he said taking the ring and slipping it on his finger before turning to walk away.

"I get the feeling I'm missing a piece of the puzzle." Bobby said letting Sam help him to his feet and looking at the others. "I take it if we're all alive that you succeeded son?"

"We did. Michael and Lucifer are both trapped in the Cage." Sam told him as he wiped his face. "Dean!" he cried out when Dean suddenly went pale and dropped to the ground unconscious. Sam quickly stepped to Dean's body and dropped down beside him. He rolled him over and pressed two fingers into his neck to feel an erratic heartbeat. He laid a hand on his forehead feeling the heat coming off him. "We need to get Dean somewhere..."

"We can go to Missouri's. Her place is close." Bobby said after seeing the shape Dean was in.

"Cas can you help me?" Sam asked waiting for Cas to get on the other side to help get Dean up.

"Lass are you alright?" Bobby asked a pale Charlie who was standing just outside the circle looking lost and alone.

"I don't know." she whispered still shell shocked from all that had happened.

"C'mon, let's get out of here." he said putting an arm around her shaking body and guiding her after the others toward the Impala. He would have liked Cas to take them there, but knew Dean would never forgive him if they left his Baby here. He knew Missouri's wasn't far so that was a good thing.

 **spn**

Bobby pulled up in front of a two story, well maintained house and parked. He got out as Sam and Cas got Dean out and headed for the front porch. Bobby followed with Charlie and started to knock when the door was opened by a short, coca skinned woman.

"Bobby Singer it's been a while." Missouri said and looked behind him to see the others. "My goodness get Dean upstairs and in bed." she ordered opening the door further. "He's not doing good at all." she commented to herself more than to any of them.

"Thanks Missouri, hated to barge in on you, but you were close." Bobby told her.

"Sam, you put him in the bedroom beside the one you usually use. It has a queen size bed in it."

"Thanks Missouri." he said as they carried Dean upstairs.

"And who might you be child?" Missouri asked laying a hand on Charlie's arm and guiding her inside. "What did those boys get you into?"

"Charlie." she said softly.

"Oh child, I'm so sorry for your loss. Why don't you come with me and let me get you some hot tea. It'll help sooth your nerves." she cooed. "I have coffee too Bobby."

"Thanks, but I'm going to check on the boys first."

"If they need anything let me know." she said. "Not sure how much help I can be, but I will try."

"I'll let Sam know." Bobby replied heading up the stairs to find the others.

 **spn**

"In here Cas." Sam directed him flipping a switch by the door to turn on a light.

They moved to the bed and eased Dean down on it. Sam straightened his body before checking his pulse again to feel it beating weakly.

"Can you get me a damp cloth from the bathroom Cas?" Sam asked as he laid a hand on his chest to feel the shallow breathing.

"Of course Sam." Cas relied happy to help.

"How's he doing?" Bobby asked stepping into the room looking at both brothers.

"Not good." Sam said sadly working on getting Dean's jacket off and slipping off his boots. He took a blanket from the bottom of the bed and spread it over his brother's body.

"Here you go." Cas said returning with a wet cloth.

"Thanks." Sam said taking it to wipe Dean's face of the sweat beading up on it. "Can you check him Cas?"

Cas sat on the bed beside Dean and laid a hand on his forehead letting his senses move over Dean. He looked up at Sam with concern and sadness. "His soul is very weak. The exertion he used in the cemetery was more than his body could handle. I don't know if he is strong enough to..." he stopped not wanting to say the words.

"Is there anything you can do?" Bobby asked as his heart broke seeing Dean this way.

"Can you take his soul back from me?" Sam asked looking down at his brother.

"No, the two have already combined in you and I could not extract it without damaging your soul and possibly destroying Dean's."

"There's got to be something." Sam hissed as he began to pace the room, running his hands through his hair pushing it out of the way. He got his brain working on overdrive trying to come up with a way to help Dean. An idea popped into his mind and he sat down beside Dean. "I'm going to try something." he told the others. Sam took his hands and placed them on Dean's chest and closed his eyes as he concentrated on transferring energy to his brother. He could sense stirring inside of him and felt the power flow through him and down his arms and into his brother's body. Sam continued doing this for several moments before stopping to catch his breath, not realizing he wasn't breathing.

"Take it easy son. Don't need ya passing out on us." Bobby cautioned him as he steadied Sam's swaying body.

"I'm fine." Sam gasped, coughing and sucking in huge gulps of air. He looked down at Dean when he twitched and rolled his head before trying to raise his hand to his face. "Hey...Hey bro can you hear me?" Sam asked urgently grabbing his hand and waiting for a response.

"S-S'my..." Dean barely got out before being drawn under into the darkness again.

"Dean?" Sam mumbled checking his vitals again to find them stronger, but still weak.

"He needs to rest Sam. What you did helped him, but it took from you. I will stay with him so you can take care of yourself." Cas told him pulling a chair to the bed to sit down.

"He's right son, let's go down and see if Missouri has some spirits stashed away." Bobby agreed taking Sam's arm to steer him out of the room. He knew his boys and if one was hurting both were hurting and neither would take care of themselves until the other was better. "Cas will let us know if there's any changes."

Sam looked back one last time at his brother as he let Bobby guide him from the room. They both knew the dangers of doing what they did, but it still cut into Sam like a knife. He didn't want to lose his brother now, they had saved the world, but at what cost.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

Missouri and Charlie looked up when Bobby steered Sam into the room and to a chair to sit down. He fell into the chair and leaned forward, covering his face with his hands as everything that happened caught up with him. His body began to tremble slightly while he tried to control his unsteady breathing.

"It's in the cabinet by the stove." Missouri said before Bobby even asked.

He stepped to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

"Might better make that three Bobby." Missouri told him looking at Charlie slumped over in her chair nursing a cup of tea and the glazed look in her eyes.

"I think you're right." he agreed with her assessment.

Bobby poured three shots and took the glasses to the table, passing them out to Sam and Charlie. Sam picked up his glass and didn't hesitate with downing the amber liquid in a large gulp. He coughed lightly feeling the strong burn run down his throat and the warmth that spread from his stomach outward. Charlie looked at the glass for a moment before picking it up and tossing it back too, but she coughed harder as tears leaked from her eyes.

"You okay?" Sam asked patting her back as she cleared her throat and wiped her face.

"Good stuff." Charlie wheezed out deciding she might better stick to tea.

"After Dean's rested for a bit, we'll get out of your way Missouri." Sam told her.

"Nothing doing young man. You all look like you've been to hell and back and I wouldn't forgive myself if I let you go off like that. I've got two bedrooms upstairs and can make a bed on the couch in the living room, so I don't want to hear anything else about it." Missouri insisted giving him a stern look that he best not contradict her.

"Yes ma'am." Sam replied, a small smile playing on his lips. He had forgotten how strong minded she could be and was glad she wanted them to stay. He knew they all could use some rest after what they had been through.

"Besides, I was going to make up a nice big pot of gumbo and it will more than feed all of you. Charlie dear would you like to help?"

"Sure." she squeaked out happy to have something to do.

"I'll get you started on chopping up the vegetables then." she said getting up but looked back at Sam and Bobby before speaking again. "I felt the psychic disturbance in the air before you got here. Is there anything I need to be worried about?"

"Naw old gal, we took care of it." Bobby told her as he sipped his whiskey.

"Who you calling old, you old coot..." she fussed back at him. Missouri went to the fridge and pulled out celery, yellow bell peppers, and onions for Charlie to cut up. "Do you cook child?"

"Yes, I can do some things pretty good, but I've never made gumbo before."

"That's fine there's nothing to it. Why don't you start by chopping these up into chunks." she instructed sitting fresh tomatoes beside the other things. "Here's a bowl and knife, just be careful it's sharp."

"Yes ma'am." Charlie said stepping to the sink to wash her hands and rinse the celery, peppers and tomatoes.

"Now you two need some little snack to hold you over until dinner." Missouri decided looking back in the fridge at what she had. "I knew there was a reason I picked these up when I was at the store." she surmised pulling out a small pack of deli meat and cheese. She moved to the counter and quickly put together some sandwiches for them to eat. "Don't you be telling me you're not hungry either Sam Winchester, I've not seen a growing boy that wasn't." she said sitting the platter of sandwiches on the table along with some pickles and chips. "Charlie dear, why don't you come and eat something too? You can finish that when you're done."

Sam looked at the food and felt his stomach clench, but took half a sandwich anyway not wanting to upset Missouri. He listened to her humming as she got out ice and poured tea for everyone before joining them at the table. Sam didn't look up but could feel her warm eyes on him studying him.

Missouri had known the Winchesters since they were small and lost their mother to a demon. That was when their father had come to her for a reading and she had pulled back the curtain and showed him what was really out there in the dark. She looked at Sam and even though she hadn't touched him could tell there was something different about him, he had changed, but she couldn't tell what it was. She watched him take small bites of his sandwich and wash it down with tea.

"Thanks for feeding us." Bobby said. "I'll give ya some money later."

"Nothing doing Bobby Singer, you know I don't take money from family." Missouri chastised him. "It's good to see everyone, even if it's under these circumstances."

"It has been awhile." he sighed.

"How do you know these hooligans child?" she asked Charlie giving Sam and Bobby a playful glance.

"I went to school with Sam and he contacted me for help and here I am. I don't turn my back on a friend." she shrugged, picking up a pickle and eating it.

"It is good that Sam has true friends like you my dear" Missouri praised Charlie making her blush slightly. "If you need anything from me Sam, just let me know."

"I will Missouri. This is more than enough, what you're doing already." Sam said sincerely.

"Anytime honey, you know you and your brother are always welcome in my home."

"That means a lot to us." Sam nodded. "I think I'll go check on Dean..."

Bobby and Missouri watched Sam get up and head out of the room and heard the steps on the stairs. Missouri turned to Charlie who had gone back to chopping vegetables. "Child if you'd like to lie down after you're done, you can use the bedroom upstairs across from the bathroom. It has two twin beds in it."

"Thanks, I might do that." she replied carefully cutting the tomatoes. "If there's nothing else you need help with?"

"No child, Bobby can help if I do, you go get some rest." Missouri assured her.

"Okay." Charlie said putting the last of the chopped vegetables into the bowl. She washed her hands and dried them before going upstairs to find the bedroom.

 **spn**

Sam looked toward the door to see Charlie peeking in from the hall. He got up to see what she wanted and not disturb Dean with their talking. "Hey, you need something?"

"How's he doing?" she asked looking back into the room at Dean and Cas.

"I think better. At least his vitals seem stronger and Cas said his energy was starting to replenish itself once I gave him what I could of mine."

"That's good. How are you doing?" she asked laying a hand on his arm and looking up into his eyes.

Sam leaned back against the wall and sighed, wiping a hand down his face. "I'm hanging in there. It's just hard to believe that it's over with..." Sam told her letting some of his pent up feelings out. "Once Dean's better..."

"I know Sam. Missouri said I could use the other bedroom to rest in."

"Yeah, sure, it's right down here. Dean and me usually use it when we stop by." Sam said walking down the hall to another door. "Bathroom's over there."

"If you need me Sam, will you come and get me?" Charlie asked earnestly.

"Only if I need to. You need to rest Charlie, you've been through a lot today and you need to process it all." Sam told her. "Try to get some sleep."

"Alright." Charlie said stepping into the bathroom and closing the door.

 **spn**

Sam stood there a moment before returning to the other bedroom to be with his brother. Dean still hadn't woke up, but he was resting comfortably. He sat on the bed and checked him again before taking the other chair in the room across from Cas. Sam was exhausted and running on empty as he slumped down trying to stay alert to watch Dean.

"Sam, I can watch over Dean." Cas told him. "You need to rest too. All that power inside of you put more stress on your body than you are used to. I will come and get you if Dean wakes. If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of Dean."

Sam knew he was right but he still didn't want to leave his brother.

Cas saw his hesitation and suggested, "Why don't you lie down beside Dean. I don't think he would mind." he said softly knowing them being close was the best for both of them.

"Yeah, I can do that." Sam decided reaching down to take off his boots and then carefully sat on the bed before lying down beside Dean. He got comfortable and reached a hand over to lay on his brother's arm, needing the physical contact. Sam let his eyes slip closed as he let out a slow breath and let his mind shut down as he was pulled under into the realms of sleep.

Cas watched the two brothers move toward each other in their sleep as if they sensed the other's presence and needed it. He looked up when he felt the angel in the room and turned to see Gabriel leaning against the wall eating a lollipop.

"Hello brother." Cas said quietly getting up so not to disturb the brothers.

"I see your buddies pulled it off Castiel." Gabriel commented.

"I know you helped. You gave Sam some of your grace to help him defeat our brother."

"Yeah, well, I thought he deserved a fighting chance." Gabriel shrugged. "Lucy needed to be put back in the Cage. What he had planned would have ruined this world and I kind of like it."

"Where have you been all this time?"

"Here and there...Where ever the urge took me." he said flippantly.

"Thank you for helping. Do you think you could help Dean? His sacrifice almost cost him his life."

"Since I feel generous, I guess I could try." Gabriel shrugged stepping to the bed. He started to lay a hand on Dean's chest when it was grabbed in an iron grip and Sam stared defensively at him.

"Go back to sleep Sam, Dean-o is fine." Gabriel said snapping his fingers, sending Sam back to sleep making him release his hand. "They're really co-dependent on each other aren't they?" he commented as he placed his hand on Dean's chest. A soft glow bled out around his hand as he used his grace to help restore more of Dean's soul energy. "That's all I can do for him. It didn't completely restore his life force, but it helped so he should recover faster."

"Thank you Gabriel." Cas said earnestly.

"Better go, got places to be and young hot things to please." he said arching his eyebrows before snapping his fingers and disappearing from the room.

Cas returned to his seat to watch over the brothers feeling better now that he was sure Dean was going to be alright. He was still worried about Sam and how his body was going to handle the remaining energy left in him. He could hear the others downstairs moving around and talking quietly as Bobby relayed to Missouri what had happened during the last twenty-four hours. He could tell Charlie had found sleep too and was resting down the hall.

He sighed contently now that the fight was over and there had not been any losses of life on their side since Death brought Bobby back. He remembered the vial he had picked up in the cemetery and pulled it from his pocket to look at. He turned it over in his hand and realized what it was. Sam had taken Lucifer's grace before sending him back to the Cage. He looked up and stared at Sam with admiration that he had even thought to do that. Cas returned it to his pocket for safe keeping thinking he would give it to Sam later to let him decide what to do with it. He thought it was only right that he made that decision.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you all for reading my story. So Gabriel makes another visit and helps and Dean's on the mend. Two more chapters and the journey will be over. Thank you to the guests who left reviews that I can't personally thank. Reviews do make my day. NC**


	53. Chapter 53

**Note: If you haven't heard, we will have a season 15 of Supernatural! I wonder who the big bad with be this time? Everyone say Amen! NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 53**

The house had grown quiet as darkness crept in chasing the day away. Only Charlie and Bobby enjoyed Missouri's gumbo and homemade bread, since Cas wouldn't allow them to wake the brothers who were still sleeping. Everyone had gone to bed and Cas sat vigil by the bed guarding and watching. He perked up when Dean stared to move as he woke himself.

It took time to dispel the darkness from his mind as Dean began to wake up. He could feel he was lying on something soft and he could sense there was someone beside him. He tested his muscles before finally getting his eyes to open into slits trying to see where he was. Nothing looked familiar until he saw the blurry shape sitting by the bed. He raised a hand to swipe down his face and blinked rapidly trying to clear his vision. His entire body ached, but he didn't feel as weak and helpless as before.

Dean remembered waking up in the back of his Baby but no one else was around. He had gotten out and stumbled to the clearing to see Lucifer trying to pull Sam into the Cage with him. With every last ounce of strength he had, Dean raced toward his brother and tackled him hard, knocking him out of Lucifer's grasp and away from the opening. Things went fuzzy after that, but thought Death came for his ring, but he wasn't sure. Dean tried to sit up and the world started spinning making him groan softly.

"You need to take it slow and easy Dean." Cas said softly going to his side.

"Where are we?" Dean got out as he fought to not throw up. Bitter bile tickled the back of his throat and he swallowed hard.

"Missouri's house. Bobby brought us here."

"Sam?" Dean asked and realized he was laying beside him on the bed asleep. "He okay?"

"Yes, he needs rest and so do you. What you did almost killed you."

"I get that, but I feel better..."

"We had a visitor, Gabriel. He restored some of your energy and Sam did too." Cas told him. "I don't know if you should be getting up yet." Cas warned him as Dean swung his legs off the side of the bed.

"Can't help it nature calls." Dean said shifting his body and carefully standing up.

"Let me help." Cas offered taking his arm and steadying him.

"Thanks. Is everyone else alright? Bobby and Red? Things are a bit fuzzy in my head."

"I'll let Sam tell you about it, but they are both fine." Cas said as they walked down the hall. He didn't want to tell him about Bobby's death and Death bringing him back. Cas thought that was Sam's place to do.

"I can take it from here." Dean told him when they reached the bathroom door.

"I'll wait here for you." Cas replied as Dean shut the door.

 **spn**

Cas looked down the hall as Sam came rushing out of the bedroom, grabbing the wall for support so he wouldn't fall.

"Cas where's Dean?" he asked a hint of panic in his voice.

"He had to use the bathroom." Cas explained looking to the bathroom door.

"Yeah, okay..." Sam sighed as he let the anxiety drain from him. "When I woke up and he wasn't there I got concerned..."

"He is better Sam. Gabriel visited and restored more of his energy that I took."

"I'm surprised he came. Last time we met he didn't want to have anything to do with stopping Lucifer."

"Maybe he saw how bad it would be and changed his mind. That's why he gave you his grace to help you fight Lucifer."

"Well, I'm glad he did..." Sam started but stopped when the bathroom door opened and Dean stepped out. "Hey...How ya feeling?" he asked looking his brother over for any ill affects.

"Better." Dean grunted. "What time is it?"

"It's four in the morning." Charlie said sleepily as she stepped from the bedroom she was using to look at the three.

"Sorry Charlie, didn't mean to wake you." Sam apologized.

"I'd say that's close enough to breakfast then." Dean stated. "I for one could use some chow."

"Let me use the bathroom and I'll join you." Sam said, stepping around him to get into the bathroom.

"There's gumbo from dinner last night in the fridge along with rice and carrots. Breads on counter..." Charlie mumbled before turning around to go back to bed. "Don't wake me for breakfast..."

"Sorry Red." Dean called to her seeing her wave a hand before crawling back in bed. "Guess we need to be quiet."

"I would advise it. Missouri doesn't seem like a woman to anger." Cas said thoughtfully.

"You got that right." he agreed as he moved slowly down the hall to the stairs. Dean clutched the railing tightly and took his time descending the stairs. He heard Sam behind him close enough to help if needed and Cas was a step in front.

 **spn**

"Do you want breakfast or left over dinner from last night?" Sam asked opening the fridge to see what was in there.

"I'll take anything right now. Gumbo just has to be reheated, go with that." Dean decided taking a seat and letting Sam heat the food.

"You remember which cabinet has pots in it?" Sam asked opening up cabinets to look inside.

"Nope, just keep looking."

"They are here." Cas pointed to a cabinet by the stove.

"Thanks Cas." Sam said kneeling down to search for a pot to heat the gumbo and rice in.

"You wanna start a pot of coffee Cas? Maybe the caffeine will help." Dean asked thinking that was simple enough for him to do.

"I will." he nodded going to the coffee pot and looking at it for a moment before taking the pot to the sink to fill it with water.

"Should I toast the bread?"

"Whatever makes you happy."

"Yeah, think I will." Sam decided pulling out a pan for that. Another metal pan fell out of the cabinet rattling on the floor and Sam froze with a frightened look on his face as he listened to see if it woke anyone. He waited for a couple of minutes before quietly putting it back and dishing out the gumbo and rice to heat.

"I don't see filters. Shouldn't there be a filter in here?" Cas questioned looking around.

"Try the cabinet in front of you. Missouri probably keeps them close to the coffee pot." Dean suggested.

"Good guess." Cas replied pulling a stack of filters from the cabinet. He peeled one off and added coffee before putting it in the machine. After checking the buttons, Cas pushed start and waited to be sure it was going to work.

"You can get some bowls out of the cabinet by the sink Cas." Sam told him as he looked for a knife to cut the bread. He turned on the oven to heat up and got butter from the fridge to put on the sliced bread. "Won't take too long, it smells good." he said to no one in particular.

After the food heated and the bread toasted, Sam dished three bowls out and brought them to the table along with the bread. They were just starting to eat when someone clearing their throat had all three turning to see Missouri standing in the doorway in her bathrobe looking at them.

"Sorry if we woke you." Sam said pathetically, trying to apologize for being so loud.

"It's okay Sam, I'm glad to see you two are up on your feet. Just be sure to clean up after yourselves." she told them.

"Don't worry we will." Dean told her. "The gumbo's good by the way."

"Thank you Dean. You boys enjoy it. I am going back to bed." she huffed before turning and heading back to her bedroom.

"We'll be quieter." Sam assured her as she disappeared back down the hall.

"So tell me what happened in the cemetery bro, my mind's a bit foggy." Dean asked Sam as they ate.

"Long story short, Lucifer and Michael are both in the Cage and we all walked away from it. Well you were carried, but that's beside the point. We did it, we stopped them from destroying half the planet." Sam said not wanting to mention what happened to Bobby right now and giving Cas a look not to mention it either. He wanted Dean to be stronger when he learned Bobby died, but at least they got him back.

"Wasn't Death there or did I dream that?"

"Yeah, he wanted his ring back."

"And nothing more? There wasn't some kind of loophole he didn't mention that would screw us?"

"Nope, plan and simple."

"Good to know something worked out in our favor. Pass me another piece of bread it's good."

"Don't be a pig, save some for us." Sam said.

"You can fix more. My body wants nourishment." Dean shrugged thinking it was no big deal.

 **spn**

Bobby wandered into the kitchen later in the morning to find Dean, Sam and Cas sitting at the table drinking coffee and talking.

"Well you two look better than the last time I saw you." he commented going to the pot for his own cup. He noticed the washed dishes and pots and figured they had raided the fridge like they did at his place. "How ya feeling son? You were pretty out of it when we brought you here." he asked looking at Dean.

"May not be a hundred percent, but better than I was." Dean replied.

"Good enough to head home today?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Maybe we'll take some downtime." Sam suggested hoping Dean would agree. He knew it would do all of them good to relax for a couple of days and let things settle down now that the threat was gone.

"Hey guys." Charlie greeted them as she walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"Hey Charlie, you sleep okay?" Sam asked.

"Yes until it was interrupted around four this morning." she noted eyeing Sam for a moment.

"Sorry we woke you. Since Dean is better, we'll be heading home today."

"My goodness, everyone is up I see." Missouri said clapping her hands together in delight as she made her way into the kitchen. "I see you are better honey and I know that means you'll be heading home."

"We were just discussing that." Bobby said getting up so she could have a seat.

"Sit still Bobby, no one's leaving without a full belly. I'll get some breakfast going for everyone. It may be midmorning, but I don't think anyone minds do they?" she said going to the sink to wash her hands and heard several 'nos' to her question. "How's eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy sound?"

"You don't need to go to all that trouble Missouri; we can get something on the road." Sam started but was interrupted by her.

"And let you eat that god awful stuff they call fast food. Nothing doing young man! So I don't wanna hear anything else about it. I'll have something thrown together in no time. I know you boys ate earlier, but it wouldn't hurt to have something else. You need to put a little more meat on those sexy bodies." she chuckled. "What? I'm not blind." she laughed when Bobby gave her a strange look.

Dean and Sam both jerked their heads up and couldn't help the blush creeping onto their faces. They ducked their heads glad she didn't say more.

"Can I help?" Charlie asked.

"Thank you child, why don't you get the eggs cracked and ready to scramble and I'll get the biscuits made up."

"I can do that." she said happily, glad she could help.

"So, what's on your agenda now that this crisis had be adverted?" Missouri asked her as she got out the makings for her biscuits.

"I don't know. After all this my life seems sort of mundane and boring." Charlie sighed.

"Well if you hang around those two I don't think it'll be boring at all." Missouri chuckled.

 **spn**

"Well old gal, thanks for letting us stay here and feeding us." Bobby said giving her a hug.

"You need to visit more often you ol' coot." she replied in her soft, soothing voice. "And you boys are welcome any time."

"Thanks Missouri." Sam told her before stepping out on the porch.

"Yeah, thanks for the help." Dean added and joined his brother and Cas.

"Young lady, you take care of yourself and if you need anything call me." she said hugging Charlie and pressing a slip of paper with her number on it into her hand.

"Thanks Missouri, it was good to meet you." Charlie said tucking the paper into her pocket. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Drive safe." she called to them as they headed for the Impala.

Sam convinced Dean he should drive first and got behind the wheel while Dean got in the passenger seat with a huff, not liking he didn't get to drive his Baby. Charlie, Cas and Bobby climbed into the back and settled down for the trip back to Sioux Falls.

"No riding the brakes, she doesn't like it." Dean told him as slumped down pouting in the passenger seat.

"I don't ride the brakes." Sam fussed back. He cranked Baby and let her idle for a bit while he checked the mirrors and got settled in the seat. He turned on the radio and turned the dial to a station he liked and slapped at Dean's hand when he stated to change it. "Your rule, driver picks the music."

"Screw you." Dean grumbled sagging back and crossing his arms over his chest in anger. "Couldn't you have found something better than this shit?"

"I happen to like it." he stated backing out of the driveway onto the road and heading for the interstate.

"Is it going to be like this the whole way back?" Charlie mumbled under her breath as she listened to the brothers arguing.

"I could take us..." Cas started to explain but Bobby shushed him.

"Might be better we hung around." he whispered not wanting to leave his boys just yet.

"Alright, I understand." he nodded, sitting back and tuning out the voices in the front seat. He took Charlie's hand and took her with him to a quieter, more peaceful place.

* * *

 **A/N: One more chapter and this journey will be over for you. Thank you for all the support and reviews for this story. Your thoughts are appreciated if you can please review. NC**


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: The journey is over and I am sad to see it end. I hope you have enjoyed the AU I created and the paths I took. I will have a new story**

 **ready to post in a week or so, so keep watch for it. It is called A Life Without You. As always thank you to all for the support and reviews.**

 **Reviews are great. NC**

* * *

 **Chapter 54**

Night had fallen across the land as Dean steered his Baby onto the road the salvage yard was on. He didn't know why, but he was excited to be home. The lights of the place shone in the distance and pressed a little harder on the gas pedal wanting to get there. He slowed as the driveway came into view and turned onto it letting the car slow on her on before giving a little gas and pulling up to the house. He parked and shut the car off, but sat there a moment before getting out like the others passengers were. Sam glanced over at him to see if he was okay, waiting for him to unlock the trunk so they could get their bags. Bobby led them up the steps to the front door and unlocked it to let everyone in.

"I think its time for a beer." Dean said dropping his bags at the stairs and heading for the kitchen. "Anyone else?" he called after him.

"Sure." Sam said getting a feeling Dean needed the company.

Dean grabbed a six pack of beer from the fridge and held it up to the others. "It's a nice night, might as well enjoy it." he said opening the backdoor to go out on the deck.

Sam looked at Bobby seeing if he noticed anything and got a slight shrug that he didn't know either. They followed Dean outside and took seats on the deck and accepted the beers offered by Dean, even Cas.

"Here's to us." Dean suddenly said holding up his beer bottle. "We met the devil head on...Kicked his ass and lived to tell 'bout it."

"Here, here." Charlie said light heartedly holding her bottle up with the rest of them.

"We did." Sam agreed clinking his bottles with the others before taking a sip and letting it sink in just what they had done, they had defeated the devil and an archangel.

The night was just coming alive with the night creatures and the stars were coming out to light up the sky. They all sat back and relaxed looking out into the night. It wasn't long before the yard was lit up with fire flies coming out to enjoy the night. They all looked out watching the light show, none speaking because words were not needed.

"Well, this old man is heading to bed, you young ones can stay up and count the stars." Bobby said nearly an hour later as he pushed up from his chair to go inside. "Nite."

"See ya in the morning Bobby." Dean said.

"Nite Bobby." Sam and Charlie said at the same time and laughed softly.

"Anyone want another beer?" Dean asked collecting the empties before going inside to get more.

"I'm good." Sam told him.

"Yeah, me too, one's my limit if I'm going to get any sleep tonight." Charlie replied to the offer.

"Cas?" Dean called.

"No thank you." Cas told him thinking he didn't really see why Dean liked beer so much. Maybe it was just a human thing.

Dean came back out with a beer and dropped back into his chair with a long sigh. He looked over at his brother for a moment before saying, "I can't believe its over and you did it bro. It was all you."

"I couldn't have done it without everyone's help." Sam said wanting to give credit where credit was due. "We all should be proud of ourselves. We caged the devil and an archangel."

"You know, I don't know what I'm going to do now..." Charlie commented. "My life seems so...Common and unfulfilling after what I now know and have done. I mean...I know an angel, a real live angel and I met Death and helped trap the devil...Where do I go from here?"

"Wherever you want to Red. You really stepped up for us and did your part." Dean told her.

"Why don't you hang around for a few days Charlie? If you don't have anywhere you need to be." Sam suggested. "Nothing says you have to leave..."

"I'd like that." she said happily glad he asked her to stay.

"Sam, I picked this up before leaving the cemetery and you should have it." Cas said pulling the vial of grace from his pocket and held it out to him.

Sam looked at it for a moment not moving to take it. "Keep it Cas. I don't want it." he finally says in a quiet tone. "It's just a reminder of all we've been through and what we lost and what he almost did to the world."

"Take it and hide it somewhere where no one will find it." Dean told him.

"I will do that." Cas said putting it back in his pocket. "I will go for now, if you need me pray." he said standing up. "It was nice to meet you Charlie." he said before disappearing.

"You too." she said slowly seeing he was already gone. "So guys...I'm heading to bed too. I feel like I could sleep for a couple of days."

"Good night Charlie." Sam said.

"Nite Red, sleep in as long as you want." Dean told her.

"I might do that." she said laying a hand on their shoulders before heading inside leaving them along on the deck.

 **spn**

"How are you doing Sammy?" Dean asked after a few minutes of silence. "Be honest with me, are you okay?"

Sam sat there for a moment as he pursed his lips and stared out into the night sky before answering. "I'm still me, but I can tell something's changed in me. I'm not sure how to describe it so you would understand..."

"If you need to talk...I'm here for you bro. I always will be." Dean said softly.

"How about you? Are you doing okay? After what you did...It's gotta have affected you." Sam asked looking over at his brother. "You have to be honest with me too." he insisted.

Dean looked up at the stars for a moment and sipped on his beer before giving an answer. "It's better than it was." he finally admitted.

"That's good but we're not taking a hunt until you're completely well." Sam stated seriously. "I'm not taking any chances you getting injured or worse."

"I can live with that." Dean shrugged.

Sam arched his eyebrows and looked at his brother in surprise that he would agree. "Who are you and what did you do with my brother?"

"Bitch." Dean mumbled as a smile twitched on his lips.

"Jerk." Sam replied with a smirk.

They settled back and just watched the light show, both thinking they were lucky to have come out of this in one piece and alive. The big bad was taken care of, but there were other monsters out there that would need to be dealt with so their job wasn't finished. They would continue to hunt and save people, the family business.

"...Carry on my wayward son  
For there'll be peace when you are done  
Lay your weary head to rest  
Don't you cry no more..."

 **The End**


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